Top 20 Funniest Filipino Like Pages on Facebook | Part 2

Thursday July 29, 2010 19:51     |   695 views

In May 2010, I posted the first half of my list of the 20 funniest Pinoy like pages on Facebook. Two months later, I think it’s high time to post the other half. I actually forgot about it, LOL.

Again, this list is personal. This is a list of Filipino fan pages that cracked me up big time. If your favorite pages were not able to make this list, comment and post the link so I could check it out and come up with another compilation.

If you missed the first part of this list, you can find it here. So here we go.

10. HINDI PORKET MAY DSLR KA, PHOTOGRAPHER KA NA!

WINNER!!! Haha. This was probably the first Pinoy statement fan page that I came across with. Well, it’s true but I don’t really see anything wrong with it. I love that Filipinos now love photography with a passion. It’s better that most of us is into the arts than drugs. But yeah, it’s funny.

9. HINDI PORKE TAGA-ABS-CBN AKO, PWEDE KITANG IPASOK SA SHOWTIME, WOWOWEE AT ASAP!

I find this funny because I have a lot of friends working with ABS-CBN and this is usually what they complain about. LOL. I spend most of my internship days at ABS-CBN (Star Cinema to be specific) and yeah, when people hear you work for ABS, they ask you for these things. I guess it happens to GMA7 employees, too.

8. Nag-Group Message ka pa isa lang naman gusto mong magreply

Lahat ng guilty, taas ang kamay! Yun lang. Hahahahahahaha. Syet, ang haba nung tawa ko.

Meron pang kunyari eh group message pero isang tao lang naman yung tinext. O kaya eh kunyari wrong send pero sinadya naman talaga. O kaya kunyari may school-related na itatanong gusto lang naman lumandi. UMAMIN NA!!!

7. Ang Hilig Mo Sa Gwapo/Maganda… Ang PANGIT Mo Naman!

Eh ano naman, walang pakialamanan. Haha. Tinamaan daw? LOL

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The Road to Death

Monday July 26, 2010 09:37     |   113 views

This is our home in Batangas. And this road in front of it is part of the national highway connecting the Batangan towns of Lemery and Balayan — also known as the Road to Death. This part of the road in the picture is just before the crossing that connects this highway to another highway leading to Tagaytay City in Cavite, and if you go farther, Manila.

Given these facts, you can just imagine how busy it is. When I’m home, I always have to close the windows tight so the noise could not distract me from doing my usual activities comprised mainly of watching TV and err… watching TV. Open the window a little bit and your viewing experience is ruined. This explains why almost every room in our house is air-conditioned.

But the noise is not what makes this part of the road earn its name “The Road to Death.”

The noise is tolerable. It’s been there before us so we have no right to complain. What’s relatively new is the long island in the middle of the road. It was added to this wide street perhaps four years ago, making both of its sides narrower. What they failed to install in addition was a light post. You see, at night, this little road island is invisible. And because it is part of the national highway and may even be the only part of the highway in 5km radius with a concrete island or anything protruding from the ground, motorists are always caught off-guard. Ergo, ACCIDENTS.

As a matter of fact, every time I spend the weekend in our Batangas house (which is every three weeks), I always witness road accidents in this area. The culprit — you bet it’s that damn island. Most of the time, motorcycle drivers fall victim. Sometimes, bigger vehicles. I have seen a truck carrying hundreds of chickens tumble over here. There was even an incident where a truck containing inflammable content having the same fate — my neighbors were all in panic.

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God, I Miss Boy Bands!

Friday July 16, 2010 17:47     |   138 views

I was just browsing songs on my iPod and I realized that I just miss the boy band era. Haha. I know boy band songs are like 300 different cheesy cheeses rolled into four minutes of music but hey, they are catchy as hell. And damn romantic, too.

I particularly liked the following boy bands and these songs:

  • 98 Degrees — The Hardest Thing, Invisible Man
  • A1 - Same Old Brand New You, Caught in the Middle
  • BBMak — Back Here, Still on Your Side
  • Blue – If You Come Back, Too Close
  • BoyZone – I Love the Way You Love Me, Baby Can I Hold You
  • Code Red — What Good is a Heart, This is Our Song
  • Five – Until the Time is Through, Keep on Movin
  • LFO – Girl on TV, Summer Girls
  • NSync - Bye Bye Bye, Gone
  • O-Town – Liquid Dreams, All or Nothing
  • Westlife – Flying Without Wings, Swear it Again

No, I didn’t forget the Backstreet Boys. I just didn’t like them that much. Haha.

But if I were to pick just one, I’d say Blue. But I really, really love BBMak’s “Back Here” and LFO’s “Girl on TV.”

So now, I decided to write the Top 10 Boy Bands that we really, really miss. And I want to know who your choices are. Let me ask you this, which boy band was your favorite? Yeah, yeah, you can say Hanson. Mmmbop.

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How to Kill Cockroaches the Funny Way

Saturday July 10, 2010 16:27     |   319 views

My college friends and I used to have a barkada forum and a blog. We used to post there absolutely anything that we could think of. Simple things like our dreams. Crazy things like our own dictionary. And weird things like how we prefer to kill cockroaches when we see one.

image courtesy of www.lifehackery.com

One of my college friends called my attention to a certain blog post we posted back in the day. I’d actually forgotten about it already. But now that I’m reading it again, I just can’t help laughing. And I’m sharing it with you. However, I apologize to all my Pinoy readers as some parts are in Tagalog and I kept it that way. Translating it would just ruin it.

HOW TO TORTURE AN IPIS
by Pam Condeno

1. Pour Green Cross alcohol.

2. Get encyclopedia and drop it right on the target. Make sure it finds itself in a very AWKWARD situation where it will render itself confused, disturbed, and a bit in a vertigo state.

3. Make sure when it flies, you have an alcohol with you and swish it to make it pilay.

HOW TO KILL IPIS (especially with wings)
by KZ Ottara

1. Camouflage with the wall

2. Grab a slipper

3. ATTACK!!!

4. Step on the slipper to make piga

5. LEAVE OVERNIGHT FOR MORE FLAVOR!

HOW TO KILL COCKROACHES IN DIFFERENT PARTS OF THE HOUSE
by Reen Ladignon

1. Slam foot on ipis. (Said foot should be wearing a shoe or slipper.)

2. If ipis is on wall, take off shoe or slipper and make sapak the ipis.

3. If ipis is on kisame, get walis and swish at the ipis to make it fall down. Then proceed to number 1 or 2.

4. If Reen sees ipis while she is washing dishes outside their house, then she makes squirt-squirt it with dishwashing liquid and pours the dirty water on it. See them scatter. If ipis crawls near the hand, grab the nearest kawali and slap it on the ipis. Do nothing if it crawls down the drain.

5. If ipis is flying, grab a Baygon can and spray mercilessly towards the ipis. You will be momentarily disgusted at seeing the legs of the ipis in all their glory nearing toward you—but then you will soon have the satisfaction seeing the ipis make gewang-gewang as it falls to the ground.

All done while screaming like a headless chicken.

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ProActiv Solution Review: It Works For Me!

Saturday July 10, 2010 15:28     |   335 views

Two months ago, I posted an entry about me just about to try the ProActiv Solution that my colleague had given me. Let’s look back at my situation last May.

The Problem. My nasty skin. Pimples seem to run in the family as my dad had this problem, too, when he was alive. My skin seemed to produce more oil than Saudi Arabia. My pimples looked like they were aiming for the Swarm badge on Foursquare — the venue, my face. I’ve tried everything. With the help of a dermatologist, it subsided a little but proved to be more than I can afford. I was also taking isotane (an oral medication) but I had to give up alcohol to avoid the side effects.

The Challenge. For two months, I’d use ProActiv Solution. Within this period, I won’t visit my dermatologist and refuse any treatment. I’d also stop taking Isotane and quit using the other products I had been using. For two months, it would just be me, ProActiv and my proactive pimples.

And now, the result.

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Who Ate the Tiramisu?

Tuesday July 6, 2010 17:56     |   233 views

I don’t think I’ll ever forget this story.

When we were in senior year, my college friends and I just loved staying at my friend Ayn’s place. The house is along Banawe St. in Quezon City and it was our favorite place to just chill-out, study, work on our group projects, shoot films, and just kill time. We always went there in a group.

image courtesy of Lis Parsons of www.dailymail.co.uk

Why that place? Because it’s so big with seven rooms, far from buzzkill neighbors, the design is ideal for parties, and the best of all, NO PARENTS. Ayn lives with only her sister, who is the type who asks you, “Hey, when is your next party here? I have some spare beer in the fridge.” That’s the kind of sister you wanna have.

Anyway, one time, Ayn was telling us the WHOLE DAY about the cake she had at home. Being someone who is allergic to anything (or anyone) sweet, Ayn offered, “Guys, we have tiramisu at home. You might want to come over and have some. It’s just me and the maid at home these days and we can’t possibly devour it all.

As much as we’d love to make love with her tiramisu, her house was just too far from the university. It’s a nice place to party but you won’t really drive or commute all the way to that other end of the city just to have cake, when there’s a  bakeshop in Philcoa. Besides, it was thesis season. Everyone was a worker bee.

So no one really went over to Ayn’s place and touched that tiramisu. Poor cake.

A week passed and while all of us were killing time, thinking of something to do, somebody teased Ayn that maybe she had another tiramisu cake that she would love to share since we were not busy anymore.

Funny you mentioned it,” Ayn said. “It was just so weird. A few days ago, I was gonna have tiramisu so I opened the ref but was shocked to find there was none of it left. So I asked Ate Tessie. I asked her where the cake was. She said that one of my friends ate it.

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My Top 100 All-Time Favorite Love Songs (Part 4)

Thursday July 1, 2010 16:23     |   760 views

OMG. I can’t believe that it’s been a year since I posted the third part of this list. I have actually completely forgotten about it. LOL. If you’ve been waiting for the fourth installment, I’m sorry for keeping you waiting for 12 full months. So now, here’s the fourth part — top 60 to 46 — of the top 100 love songs that I completely adore. I’m also posting some lyrics to the songs.

60. No Doubt – Don’t Speak

I love No Doubt. I love Gwen Stefani. And I love this song. There’s just something so painful about this song. You know the feeling of not wanting to know — or not wanting to hear it — because you know it’s gonna hurt real bad.

You and me
We used to be together
Everyday together always
I really feel
That I’m losing my best friend
I can’t believe
This could be the end
It looks as though you’re letting go
And if it’s real
Well I don’t want to know

Don’t speak
I know just what you’re saying
So please stop explaining
Don’t tell me cause it hurts

I think this song encapsulates that problem very well. And it’s catchy, too.

Also listen to: Cool and Gwen Stefani’s 4 in the Morning

59. Jason Mraz – I’m Yours

A cute, fun song but not short of effectiveness. Jason Mraz was able to create a feel-good song that is both romantic and insightful.

Listen to the music of the moment people, dance and sing
We’re just one big family
And it’s our God-forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved loved

So I won’t hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I’m sure
There’s no need to complicate, our time is short
This is our fate, I’m yours

Also listen to: Clockwatching, You and I Both, I Melt With You

58. Alicia Keys – Fallin

When I first saw the music video for this song, the first thing I said was, “Man, this girl will make it big.” True enough, she did make it big in the business. Since then, I’m a big Alicia Keys fan. Set aside the controversies, she’s still a great singer and an awesome songwriter.

Sometimes I love ya
Sometimes you make me blue
Sometimes I feel good
At times I feel used
Lovin’ you darlin’
Makes me so confused

I keep on fallin’
In and out of love with you
I never loved someone
The way that I love you

After four albums and a ton of singles, I still think that Fallin’ is her best single to date. (With Try Sleeping with a Broken Heart at a close second.) This song just paints a good picture of what it feels like to be totally confused about your emotions — falling in and then out of love. And I know the song speaks for many people.

Also listen to: If I Ain’t Got You, Try Sleeping With a Broken Heart, No One

57. Sade – By Your Side

I’m not a Sade fan but I love this song. Not many of my friends know this song so whenever we talk about favorite songs and I say “I love Sade’s By Your Side,” they go “What’s that? Who’s that? What?” Haha.

Oh when you’re cold, I’ll be there
Hold you tight to me

When you’re on the outside baby and you can’t get in
I will show you, you’re so much better than you know
When you’re lost and you’re alone and you cant get back again
I will find you darling and I will bring you home

And I think it’s a great wedding song. :)

56. Dido – Thank You

When you listen to this song without the lyrics, you’ll easily assume it’s a sad, sad song for the broken-hearted. But it’s the exact opposite. This song never fails to make me smile when it gets randomly played by my iPod.

Push the door, I’m home at last and I’m soaking through and through
then you handed me a towel and all I see is you
and even if my house falls down now, I wouldn’t have a clue
because you’re near me and

I want to thank you for giving me the best day of my life
Oh just to be with you is having the best day of my life

And yeah, I can truly relate to it. It’s nice to know that no matter how bad the world can be, there’s still someone who can make all the bad things go away at the end of the day. And it’s nice to know that there’s a song about just that.

Also listen to: Here With Me, White Flag

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Sundays with the Promil Kid

Sunday June 27, 2010 13:44     |   345 views

Guess who’s back! I’m finding it hard to blog about my nephew, the Promil Kid, lately because I rarely see him. He’s staying at my parents’ house in Batangas and I only go there once a month. Anyway, enjoy.

image courtesy of www.cartoonfaces.net

AGNOSTIC KID

The Promil Kid is in a difficult identity situation right now. And years from now, it will require a big decision. You see, his mother (my sister) is a Roman Catholic while his dad is INC (Iglesia ni Cristo). So he goes to church twice a week. I’m agnostic so I couldn’t care less. One time, I was preparing breakfast when he walked in to the kitchen and had a small chat with me.

Yoshke: Where are you going?
Promil Kid: I’m going to church.
Yoshke: But I thought you already went yesterday.
Promil Kid: That was Mommy’s church. Now it’s time for Dad’s church.
Yoshke: Aah, I see.
Promil Kid: Tito, what’s your church?
Yoshke: I don’t have one.
Promil Kid: Huh? Why not?
Yoshke: I’m agnostic. I don’t go to church.
Promil Kid: You’re what?
Yoshke: AG-NOS-TIC
Promil Kid: So in your church, you don’t have to go to church?
Yoshke: Yes.

The Promil Kid then walked away, proceeded to the living area and sat down on the couch. He just stayed there. Minutes later, her mom came down from her room and found him there.

His Mommy: Oh, why are you still here? Your Dad’s waiting for you outside!
Promil Kid: I don’t want to go anymore!
His Mommy: Why not?
Promil Kid: I’m agnostic.

I was already eating my pancakes when my sister threw me a what-the-fuck-did-you-just-tell-him look.  “Well, he asked,” I said as-a-matter-of-fact-ly.

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Top 10 Cheap Ways to Travel

Sunday June 20, 2010 19:16     |   3,729 views

I was looking at my travel pictures and I was surprised by what I just realized. Aside from how much weight I gained the past year, I realized I have traveled a lot and I didn’t spend much. Since July last year, I have visited Palawan, Iloilo, Guimaras, Cebu, Pangasinan, Ilocos, Tagaytay, Batangas, Tarlac, Cebu again, and Sagada. In fact, the soles of my feet had been itching the past four weekends that I traveled to Lucban, Quezon (Pahiyas Festival); Mahayhay, Laguna; Anawangin Cove in Zambales; Subic Bay; and Bohol. Add to that, I flew to and spent three days in Singapore last October. I spent 33 days traveling in 16 different tourist destinations in a year.

Believe it or not, all I spent for traveling the entire year was less than PhP15,000 (US$ 330) all in all. Recap: 33 days, 16 destinations, for only 15 thousand pesos. How did I do that?



Yoshke at Anawangin Cove in Zambales, Chocolate Hills in Bohol, Magellan’s Cross in Cebu, and the beautiful Paoay Church in Ilocos Norte

I am shocked by the number of awesome places I have visited and the amount of cash I have shelled out. I’m not saying I’m an authority on budget traveling (far from it) but allow me to share with you how I pulled it off. So here, Yoshke’s top 10 tips on traveling cheap aka the Poor Man’s Guide to Traveling.

10. Travel in a group. Big group.

The more the merrier. And cheaper, too. When I traveled to Anawangin, I was with 11 of my college friends. And we were 20+ in Coron, Palawan.


Yoshke and officemates at Mt. Tapyas in Coron, Palawan and Kiltepan Viewpoint in Sagada, Mountain Province

Traveling in big groups has its disadvantages, of course. (Imagine the  chaos, the time spent waiting for the group to be complete, the constant asking where a certain person is, the taking of group pictures every part of the tour, and the frequency of stopping over because someone needs to pee.) But hey, look at the bright side. Being in a big group means more people dividing the expenses (transportation, accommodation, food). More people chipping in means there’s more that you can do and less cash to spend.

9. Find a good budget travel agency.

You have no idea how many there are. They’re just around the corner waiting for your call. If you’re not aware of any, head to this awesome website www.philippinesbudgettravel.com and choose the destination and the agency you want. Their rates and contact details are displayed there.

You can spend three days and two nights in Coron, Palawan for less than PhP3500; or in Caramoan, CamSur for around PhP3000; or in Sagada for as low as PhP3700.

Why so cheap, you ask? It’s simple really. Most of these travel agencies work on a “big group” mechanism. This means that even if you’re traveling alone or with only a few friends, you’ll be traveling as part of a bigger group. This way, you can still travel with a low-budget because the entire group will divide the total cost of the trip. Most of these packages already include transportation, food and lodging so you don’t have to worry about anything.

Also, these are budget travel agencies. Don’t expect five star hotels and limousines.

8. Avail of flight promos and discounts.

You have no idea how much you will be saving if you grab the chance. Remember that more often than not, the bulk of the expenses goes to airfare. It’s usually the biggest roadblock when traveling and these promos remove just that so you might want to take advantage.

For example, last week I booked a flight to Cagayan de Oro and Tacloban City for P100 (US$ 2). Yes, one hundred freakin’ pesos only. How? Twice a year, Cebu Pacific comes up with “Piso Fare” promos. Yep, you only pay one peso per flight. (Of course, add taxes and all that other shit, it’ll fall around P50-P100.) NOT BAD AT ALL!

Piso Fare promo isn’t the only one. There are almost ALWAYS flight promos out there, you just need to be updated all the time. Follow your favorite airlines on Twitter and like them on Facebook. When the time comes, be quick in booking flights as they sell out as fast as your favorite rock band.

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Crazy Over the Cup Again | 2010 FIFA World Cup – South Africa

Thursday June 17, 2010 14:52     |   317 views

Only three things make me cry — love, death and World Cup.


image courtesy of germany-info.com

Haha, seriously.  I remember myself crying like a baby on the way home from Ateneo when Germany lost to Italy in the semi-final match of the 2006 FIFA World Cup. I also almost fell into depression when they almost became the European champions in 2008, being beaten only by Spain at the finals.

The problem is that I am sooo emotionally attached to my favorite teams (Germany and Spain, but more for Germany). I invest emotions. I spend so much time following them. It’s more obsession than love, really. I feel like I’m part of the team. So when they lose, I crumble. It doesn’t help that they almost always are so close to championshop only to be defeated in the last few minutes.

I haven’t had a decent sleep for almost a week now, trying to be updated with all the World Cup happenings. Last weekend, I spent most of my time watching matches and their repeats. I just can’t get enough. Most of my tweets recently are also about World Cup. Here are some of them:

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On May 31, 1985, tragedy struck when 41 tornadoes hit Canada and the US, leaving 76 people dead. At the same time, a doomed couple in the Philippines were having the best orgasms of their lives. Nine months (280 days) later, a healthy baby boy was brought into this world by normal delivery. That was exactly a week before Microsoft had its initial public offering.

Today, Yoshke Dimen resides independently in Mandaluyong City. He got a degree in Film from an overrated university in Diliman but is now pursuing a career in Social Media.

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