Reality Crashes to the Floor

Status: Sad… Very
Music: Blind - Lifehouse

It’s been almost a year since we met in a very huge, yet strange place where we are both free. During our first months, I thought frequency could shorten the miles and the hours between us. It did not feel we’re half quarter a world apart. We used to say that distance is just another word that doesn’t even matter. And we became emotionally close. But now, I’m starting to feel that distance. I guess the more you get virtually close to someone, the more you realise how physically away he is.

And it pains me now. Too bad I learnt to love him. Damn it.

Freakin’ Pride

Status: I feel hot literally.
Music: Understand – Christina Aguilera

When asked if she was affected by some critics’ opinion that Faith Cuneta effortlessly outstaged her in one of their concerts, Regine Velasquez said something I can never forget.

“Of course not. Why should I feel insecure?
I’m freakin’ Regine Velasquez.
I’ve been in this industry for, like, forever.”

— Freakin’ Regine Velasquez

Confusing Answers

Status: Learning to spit fire.
Music: On the Radio – Nelly Furtado

Although there’s no rule, most Bulgarians nod for “no” and shake their heads for “yes”, which really confuses foreigners. Weird, huh?

Shall I Let Him Take the Wheel?

Status: Starving.
Music: Jesus Take the Wheel – Carrie Underwood

After having a very interesting conversation with Kuya Tops about God, Jesus Christ and faith last night, I found myself thinking about my beliefs again. You know how much I love God but I don’t believe in Jesus’s divinity, which others find a little off and disturbing. I feel like I am a Jew stuck here in the Philippines with all the Christian Catholics looking at me in utter disgust — Oops, you might get me wrong — I’m NOT a Jew. Unknown to my very strict Catholic family, I do not consider myself a Christian. But last night, the conversation we had just made me asking if all my decisions were right.

And so I talked to God, and said:

“Lord, I know Jesus was great and all.
His teachings are all good, all wonderful, almost divine.
But I want to know if Jesus really is divine.
Is he really Your son? Let me know.
Please. Give me a sign.
If tomorrow, when I wake up,
I remember the dream I just had,
then, that’s it, I’ll be a believer again.”

Last night I had a dream that I just remembered the dream that I had had the night before.

Was that it?

Wow, Wow, Wow Philippines

Status: Supposed to be working but what the hell?
Music: Dahilan – Barbie Almalbis

I finally checked out Tourism Department’s official website and all I could say was “WOW!” It is sooo nice I even forgot I was in the office “working.” And gosh, I was so overwhelmed by how much I still have to learn about the Philippines, considering that I have lived my entire life here. Looking at their trivia page, all I could utter were more wows. Here are some of the information I found that might interest you (Although most of them I’ve been pretty aware of since childhood, they are still worth posting):

• Filipino bowler Rafael “Paeng” Nepomuceno was the first bowler to be elevated to the International Bowling Hall of Fame based in St. Louis, Missouri, USA. The Philippine Congress has named him “Greatest Filipino Athlete of All Time.”

• Philippine National Hero and writer Jose Rizal could read and write at age 2. He grew up to speak more than 20 languages, including Latin, Greek, German, French, and Chinese. What were his last words? “Consummatum est!” (“It is done!”)

• The popular toy, the yoyo, was invented by 16th century hunters in the Philippines.

• The Philippines became the first Asian country to win FIVE major international beauty pageant crowns — two for Miss Universe, in 1969 and 1973, and three for Miss International, in 1965, 1970, and 1979.

• The antibiotic erythromycin — used to treat a wide variety of bacterial infections, such as respiratory tract infections, middle ear infections, and skin infections — was created by Filipino scientist Abelardo Aguilar, and has earned American drug giant Eli Lilly billions of dollars. Neither Aguilar nor the Philippine government received royalties.

• Philippines Herald war journalist Carlos P. Romulo was the first Asian to win a Pulitzer Prize in Journalism in 1942. He was also aide-de-camp to General Douglas MacArthur in World War II; Philippine resident commissioner in the U.S. Congress from 1944-46; and the first Asian to become UN President in 1949.

• On January 18, 1995, Pope John Paul II offered mass to an estimated 4 to 5 million people at Luneta Park, Manila, Philippines, making it to the Guiness Book of World Records for the Biggest Papal Crowd.

• There are 12,000 or so species of seashells in the Philippines. The Conus Gloriamaris or “Glory of the Sea” is the rarest and most expensive in the world.

• Of the 500 known coral species in the world, 488 are found in the Philippines.

• Of the eight species of marine turtles worldwide, five are reported to be found in the Philippines: the Green Turtle, Hawkbill, Leatherback, Olive Ridley, and Loggerhead.

• Of the eight known species of giant clams in the world, seven are found in the Philippines.

• The largest bell in Asia hangs at the belfry of the 221-year old Panay Church. It is 7 feet in diameter and 7 feet in height, and weighs 10.4 tons. Its tolling can be heard as far as 8 km. away. It was casted from 70 sacks of coins donated by the townspeople as a manifestation of faith and thanksgiving.

• The World Cup, which was instituted in 1965, is contested annually by the national champions of the Federation Internationale des Quilleurs (FIQ). The highest number of wins is 4, by Filipino bowler Rafael “Paeng” Nepomuceno: 1976, 1980, 1992, and 1996.

• Tagala – the Philippines first Filipino-Spanish dictionary which was printed in 1613, 25 years older than the first book printed in the United States.

• In the Philippines, Filipinos were introduced to the English language in 1762 by British invaders, not Americans. Philippines is the world’s 3rd largest English-speaking nation, next to the USA and the UK.

• The world’s largest pearl was discovered by a Filipino diver in a giant Tridacna (mollusk) under the Palawan Sea in 1934. Known as the “Pearl of Lao-Tzu,” the gem weighs 14 pounds and measures 9 1/2 inches long and 5 1/2 inches in diameter. As of May 1984, it was valued at US$42 million. It is believed to be 600 years old.

I’m leaving you with a quote from a British traveller, which I really agree to.

“Mayon is the most beautiful mountain I have ever seen, the world-renowned Fujiyama (Mt. Fuji) of Japan sinking into perfect insignificance by comparison.”
—British traveler-writer A. Henry Savage Landor

*photo courtesy of members.cox.net

World’s Top Universities 2006

Status: Waiting. Just waiting.
Music: Hurt – Christina Aguilera

Here’s something to make your day a little brighter. U.P. (University of the Philippines) made it to Times Higher Education Supplement-Quacquarelli Symonds (THES-QS) Top Universities in the World. We are 299th in the world, 47th in Asia, 10th in Southeast Asia and the best in the country. But then again, as an old colleague of mine said, during her college years, UP was 23rd globally (not sure if this is true, though). Anyway, also in the list are Ateneo de Manila University (ADMU), De La Salle University (DLSU), and University of Santo Tomas (UST). I wonder why Silliman University is not in the list when I’ve been hearing stuff saying Silliman is already next to UP in the local rankings. Hmmm…. Perhaps the group who conducted this study did not take a look at and into Silliman.

Here’s the summary of the list.*

WORLD’S TOP TEN:
1. Harvard University, USA
2. University of Cambridge, UK
3. University of Oxford, UK
4/5. Massachusetts Institute of Technology and Yale University, USA
6. Stanford University, USA
7. California Institute of Technology, USA
8. University of California Berkeley, USA
9. Imperial College London, UK
10. Princeton University, USA

ASIA’S TOP TEN:
14. Peking University, China
19. University of Tokyo, Japan
19. National University of Singapore, Singapore
28. Tsing Hua University, China
29. Kyoto University, Japan
33. University of Hong Kong, Hong Kong
50. Chinese University of Hong Kong, Hong Kong
57. Indian Institute of Technology, India
58. Hong Kong University of Science and Technology, Hong Kong
61. Nanyang Technological University, Singapore

SOUTHEAST ASIA’S TOP TEN:
19. National University of Singapore, Singapore
61. Nanyang Technological University, Singapore
161. Chulalongkorn University, Thailand
192. University of Malaya, Malaysia
250. University of Indonesia, Indonesia
258. Bandung Institute of Technology, Indonesia
270. University of Gadjah Mada, Indonesia
277. University Sains Malaysia, Malaysia
292. University Putra Malaysia, Malaysia
299. University of the Philippines, Philippines

PHILIPPINE RANKINGS:
299. University of the Philippines
392. De La Salle University
484. Ateneo de Manila University
500. University of Santo Tomas

*special thanks to beterano of peyups.com

Pinoy Dream Look-Alikes

Status: At work
Music: Pangarap Lang – Yeng Constantino

It’s not a secret that I’m a big Pinoy Dream Academy fan. To be honest, before the show was launched, I was not that interested. I thought it would just be second-rate Philippine Idol. I was really excited about PI that time, and was refusing to watch a single episode of PDA. But when Philippine Idol started eliminating their good contestants one by one (not to mention that Ken and Miguel still manage to stay in the competition), I swore not to use the word excited and Philippine Idol in the same sentence again. (Oops, I guess I did it again.) Philippine idol becomes more and more disappointing as the show “progresses.” Disappointing is actually an understatement.

When I switched to Pinoy Dream Academy, I was satisfied. At least, in this contest, the weak ones get booted out. And I realised there are a lot of talented people here like Joan, Yeng, Ronnie, Irish and so on. Too bad Iya said goodbye so early.

I’m also a Peyups.com “resident,” although I seldom post comments. And one of the fastest growing threads there is the PDA thread. And right now, they’re just having fun, err… should I say, making fun of the PDA scholars. The topic: PDA scholars’ look-alikes. And here are some samples.

And I saved the best for last…

Thanks to all the people in the Peyups.com community. Sorry I didn’t have the chance to tell you that I would post your posts on this blog. And sorry to all RJ and Iya fans. I love them both but this is just for fun. Au revoir!

Back to the Present

Status: With a really happy heart
Music: Tell Me – P. Diddy feat Christina Aguilera

Contrary to popular opinion, P.Diddy’s “Press Play” album, as far as I am concerned, is something to spend some cash on. I’m not sure of this, though, because I still haven’t heard the entire album yet. But at least, his first two singles are damn hot. And the album already reached the top of the Billboard 200 chart.

I was still not over my being hooked to Come to Me (P. Diddy feat Nicole Scherzinger) when Tell Me, this time with Christina Aguilera, was released on October 30. The video is not spectacular. It’s just OK. There’s nothing that impressive in and about it except for Christina. It’s so refreshing to see her again minus the Monroe curls and the straight-from-the-40s/30s/20s costume. Christina is prettiest in this video. And she’s sooo blonde, which I’m still trying to figure out if it’s a good thing or a bad thing.

The song itself is not stunningly awesome. I just like the beat. And I share my opinion with most of the music fans in the online community — If it weren’t for Christina, the song would have been one big mess. Christina did her part amazingly but P.Diddy didn’t give any justice to it. His part is so dull I always skip to Christina’s part everytime I play this song.

And there’s something lacking. Maybe I’m already not used to hearing Christina’s singing style in the 90s (for her debut album) again. She doesn’t belt much here because the song is not something that gives her any chance to show vocal range or something unlike in her past upbeat singles (Lady Marmalade, Car Wash, etc). It’s much like the video version of Come on Over Baby, which I really love. But it’s OK. Christina effortlessly outshines P. Diddy when it shouldn’t be the case because (1) it’s a collaboration, not a showdown and (2) she’s only the featured artist and it’s P. Diddy’s single. But what is Christina to do? P. Diddy is just one big crap in this song. But I will still grab a copy of his record cos I heard the next single is going to be with Mary J. Blige. Yebah!

# # #

Another video to watch out for is Christina’s Hurt. The song is very good. The video is not brilliant but it’s emotionally charged that sets it apart from most of the videos today. The video gave me goosebumps the first time I saw it. Beware, though. Christina is a little overacting in this video. But it’s totally fine. Even Mariah Carey sucks big time in some of her supposedly dramatic videos. Christina co-directed the video with Floria Sigismondi, the same person behind Fighter (Christina’s best video to date).

*photos courtesy of concreteloop.com

Tensions for Dinner

Status: At work
Music: Come to Me – P. Diddy feat Nicole Scherzinger

And yes, I already bid goodbye to my German Pride layout and to my entire blogdrive account as well. From now on, I will be using wordpress and the domain name yoshke.com. But if you still want to see my old blog, all you have to do is click this.

# # #

Anyway, as days go by, it becomes more and more difficult for me to conceal my gender from my family. The more I lie, the more I feel guilty. It would be very easy not to let them know about my sexuality, but lately they are getting suspicious and starting to ask questions that are really tough to answer.

Last week, while having dinner, my mum asked, “Oy, Yoshke, when are you going to bring another girlfriend here?”

And I answered so sweetly, “How can I bring a girlfriend? I don’t have one.”

My sister butted in, “The last time you introduced a girlfriend to us was December last year. Isn’t it time for us to meet a new one.”

“But I don’t have a girlfriend,” I uttered. “I have a boyfriend, though.”

Everybody laughed. It was a joke to them. Although it’s not true that I have a boyfriend right now, I wanted to see what their reactions would be. And they just laughed because they thought I was just joshing them.

But last Wednesday night was a different case. Again, we were having dinner when my mother initiated a talk about having a relative in the workplace. My sister and I share the same opinion, “No way.” And then she demanded for a reason.

I told Mum, “I wouldn’t want to be conscious of everything I do… especially when I know that he/she would tell the entire family of the going-ons in my life.”

My sister got curious, “Such as…?”

“Nothing,” I answered.

“Like something illegal, or something gay or something like it?”

And then my mum got on her feet and asked me with an eyebrow raised, “Are you gay?”

“HELL, NO!” I manly denied.

Oh well, that’s life. The dinner ended with a smug look on my face.

# # #

Let me take this opportunity to actually bash some of my gay friends. It annoys me that I always have to explain about my sexuality. In fact I have already talked about it in detail here. And as I said before, I don’t believe in gender. Gender is just a social construct. It doesn’t matter to me if you’re gay or lesbian or bisexual or whatever you want to call the homosexual/bisexual lot. They are just labels anyway. For me, you’re either male or female. And I don’t care if you’re a man who likes women or other men. I just fuckin’ don’t care. To me, you’re still a man because you have a dick hanging between your legs.

And yes, sometimes I use the term bisexual when talking about myself not because I accept the idea but because I want other people to understand. I may like other men but I LIKE GIRLS, TOO. And if you don’t believe me, then don’t. As if your opinion matters to me anyway.

But for a gay person not to believe that there are people who like BOTH men and women, or those who find it so pretentious, it doesn’t make sense. To think that these are the people who have always wanted open-mindedness so that they be accepted. Why can’t you accept that not all people are like you. Not all people who like men cannot love women just as well. Why can’t you understand this? I don’t know if you just have a pea-sized brain or you have some comprehension problem or you are just plain stupid. Anyway, why am I explaining this now when I know that they will never ever understand.

For the last time, I will tell you this, I love both men and women. And if you don’t want to believe this just because you’re not like me, then what can I say? Try this, just get a dick and never take it out of your mouth if it’s the only way for you to shut up.

And yes, I’m talking to you Bebs and Rex.