Caution: The following entry contains sexually explicit language and may be a little graphic. If you are offended by this kind of stuff, please stop reading, skip this entry, or leave now. Thanks very much.

When Tonet and I were having dinner (or should I say partying — there were already several beer and vodka bottles on the table) with Direk Joyce Bernal, Rudy Fernandez, Lorna Tolentino, Philip Salvador, Tirso Cruz III, a couple of actor-senators (kilala nyo na kung sino), and some of Direk’s staff, Direk Joyce suddenly talked about the sex scandals (videos) she had seen on a friend’s cellphone. It was really awkward because I’m not the type of person who talks about sex with other people, especially with big stars like them. Direk was already a bit drunk. She narrated exactly what happened in the video — in detail.

There was a drunk Japanese girl, then the man shoved a finger up the girl’s pussy. Then there were two fingers. Three. And then the entire hand…

BANG. That was it. She was bluffing, I thought. Upon hearing it, I thought it was just an exaggeration. I didn’t believe Direk. How could an arm fit in a girl’s you-know-what. So I went home and shrugged it off.

Months lates, while in the office and had run out of anything else to do, the thought entered my mind again. So, I searched the net. To my surprise, it is true. A hand (and sometimes, a pair of hands) can actually fit inside that thing. And some women enjoy this extreme sexual act. In fact, they have a word for it — fisting.

And so, again, I saw another part of my innocence go with the wind. And what the hell was I doing? I was in the office and should be working but there I was, taking a good look at some fisting porn sites. But the more I look, the more I was intrigued on how far the people on those sites could go. So I surfed even longer, more attentive, and more hooked. And then, my surfing took me to some fisting gay sites. OH.MY.GOD! How did that arm managed to fit in that… er… hole? Come on. For a while there, I thought it was science fiction my eyes are glued to. But no, it was real. Embarassed as I was to myself, I became obsessed to the act and continued watching some fisting videos over the net whenever I had free time — and during those days — every time was free time.

Yep, it had become my obsession. Don’t get me wrong — JUST WATCHING IT, NOT EXPERIENCING IT FOR REAL. I searched the cyberspace on how it is done, the statistics, what people think about it, its health repurcussions, everything.

I told Dohna and Andre about my little fetish in porn materials and they just gave me an oh-my-god-please-shut-up-coz-you-are-so-gross look. So, I just kept it to myself for the longest time. If Dohna and Andre, the two kinkiest people I know, almost puked to my face, then how would I expect other people to react?

But after a while (a month, I guess), the obsession died. Again, I would like to clarify — I was just obsessed with watching fisting porn stuff, not doing it.

So why am I talking about this disgusting (or pleasurable, for some people) act on my blog right now? Hmmm. I don’t know. Let’s just say that I was reminded of it. Sort of. 

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