Define Happiness

NATIONAL LIST OF QUALIFIERS
Foreign Service Examination Qualifying Test
Department of Foreign Affairs
06 May 2007

Source: Civil Service Commission. Click here to see the full list of qualifiers.

Now, I have a pretty good reason to smile for the rest of the week. One step closer to becoming an ambassador, er, diplomat. Ehehehe.

Movie Review | Paano Kita Iibigin (2007)

Genre: Romance
Director: Bb. Joyce Bernal
Stars: Piolo Pascual, Regine Velasquez

I was able to watch this film last week for free. To be honest, I really had no plan of watching this movie. Let’s just say that Tonet, a friend who was a part of this production, was very persistent and forceful, and she gave me a movie pass so I could watch it for free. It’s actually hard for me to write this review because everybody knows I love Direk Joyce Bernal but it doesn’t necessarily mean that I loved all her flicks. And Paano Kita Iibigin is one of those films — the ones I didn’t love. Not even like.

Piolo Pascual is Lance, a man who succumbed to his guilt after his wife and two other friends died in a car accident just hours after their wedding. Since then, he has tried to kill himself again and again. Until he meets Martee, Regine Velasquez, a struggling, lonely single-mom desperately trying to raise her much-loved asthmatic son.

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Fact of Life: Boobs Sell

Status: Off to Israel… Kidding
Music: Shoulda Woulda Coulda - Beverly Knight

No, I’m not encouraging you to go to that Maxim party. (It’ll be in New York, hello!?) I want you to look at the woman on that poster. She’s one of the female (former) Israeli soldiers to grace Maxim’s cover this July. (Yes, she’s a soldier. Really. I swear.) There’s nothing controversial about it really EXCEPT that it is sponsored by the Israeli government itself. And why the hell is Israel doing this? Well, they say, to promote a positive image of the country. Hehehe. You think it’s absurd? Welcome to the club!

The rationale: the Israeli Consulate in New York found out that, apparently, Israel, as a nation, was not particularly well-regarded in the United States and was perceived as “too religious and too militaristic” by the 18-35 male demographic. So, they felt they had to do something about it, and *surprise, surprise* they thought, “We’re not just about guns and Hanukkah. We got pussies, too! Hot pussies! Hot military pussies! Oh yeah! The damn tourists will be flooding our airports soon.”

Of course, this “hot” move by the Jewish nation was not that hot or may be too hot for some people. Protesters claim that the Israeli government is resorting to pornography and trying to sell sex to promote tourism. Oh, protesters, shut up, will ya? It’s not everyday that we see hot bikini-clad Jewish soldiers. (Kidding. Shoot me.)

I can imagine myself talking with a friend:

Yoshke: Hey, I’m going to Jerusalem!
Friend: What for? To see the light?
Yoshke: Not really, dude. No light. Just heaven.

And this reminds me of a marketing gimmick by an airline in Ecuador, where they offer free bikini and swimsuit shows on board. The aisle is the runway, of course. And you can get this close to the models. That airline has already reported a significant increase in bookings. And again, I can imagine:

Yoshke: Let’s go to Ecuador.
Friend: And why? There’s nothing much to see there.
Yoshke: It’s not the destination, man. It’s the journey.

It’s funny how we use women to generate profit. States and businesses alike. It’s funny. But it’s pretty sad, too. Really.

Save the Cheerleader. Save the World!

Status: Wet
Music: Back for Good - Take That

I got the title from a peyups.com poster -otep-, which he got from some other website. If you don’t watch the TV programme Heroes, that line “Save the Cheerleader. Save the world,” is actually very, very important for one character, the cheerleader, must be saved so they could all save the world. I refused to watch Pinoy Big Brother for the longest time, but coincidentally, when I was about to continue my Heroes marathon last Monday, I saw Gee-Ann hysterically expressing her frustrations and anguish about the current situation and how Wendy seemed to manipulate everyone in the house. Bravo, Gee-Ann, bravo! And I started watching Pinoy Big Brother again since. And although it’s been more than a month since I vowed not to watch PBB again, I realised I did not really miss anything significant. But this one, hmmm, I bet ABS-CBN is celebrating right now thinking that their “wise”, albeit unfair, decision of shoving Wendy back into the big yellow house is finally paying off. One word, baby: ratings.

These are the things about the housemates that watching PBB again has proven to me:

1. Gee-Ann is indeed a fine lady. No matter how squatterly Wendy’s approach to the situation is, Gee-Ann continues to do things with class and poise. Poor girl she is, though. She’s rich, pretty, and smart, but she’s a weakling. Her self-confidence is below sea-level (which I understand because most weak people I know are actually  goodlooking and intelligent and wealthy. As if it’s God’s way of balancing things up. Weird.) And that’s what Wendy found out when she was evicted, and now that she’s back, she takes advantage of that. Nasapul mo Gee-Ann, “Kung ako, sume-strategy lang, hindi siya (Wendy) ang ino-nominate ko, dapat ikaw (Bea). E ikaw tong hindi mapa-tumba e. E siya, naevict na!”
2. Bea is indeed calm. And being calm and composed always doesn’t mean being plastic. It just shows us that the girl thinks and does not do things which she knows will not do her any good. You go, girl. Have a happy period! Ehehehe.
3. Mickey is indeed rational. Wendy could’ve manipulated everyone inside the house but not Mickey. I remember when Wendy was ranting about how Gee-Ann nominated her despite Gee-Ann’s claim that she loves her. Mickey said, “Don’t you love Bodie? Why did you nominate him?” Also, how he smashed Wendy’s face with statements like, “So it’s all about the money?” and “Don’t you think what you’re saying is unfair?”
4. Bodie is indeed a wallflower. I still barely notice him. But it’s nice that now, he realised he had been fraternising with the wrong people inside the house. Too late, dude. You’re never gonna get my support. And my vote is precious. Ehehehe.
5. Nel is indeed a sidekick. I loved what Bea told Nel the other night, “Basta ako, bida ako sa kwento ko. Ikaw, sa kwento mo, alagad lang.” Haha. Nasapul mo! Mabuhay ka Bea. Ayan kasi, Nel. Masyadong tuta ni Wendy.
6. Bruce is indeed dumb. Shame on him. Being a UP grad, nakakahiya siya. How could he not realise that Wendy is just using him? And that he’s being controlled by that bitch? And how he makes gatong or making the situation worse instead of trying to fix things? Where’s your spine, man? When you think, use your brain, not your balls! Damn. He could’ve been one of the best contenders for this season’s Big Winner, but he lost it just because of damn lust. Ano ba naman, Bruce? Libog lang yan, nagpapaka-tanga ka na. To quote Asta, “Tonta. stupid. moron.” And for that, you and that fuckin’ Wendy fuckin’ deserve each other.
7. I was wrong when I said that Wendy is the root of all evil inside the house. I was so wrong. She’s not the root of all evil. Wendy is evil. She is evil personified. My God. All my life I never thought that such a bad person could exist. And she’s doing it just to get the public’s sympathy so she could get that P1 Million na parati niyang bukambibig. You wish, arsehole. Oo na, totoong tao ka na. Lahat ng nakikita namin sa’yo, totoo. Pero sabe nga ni mental_indigestion, how about your boobs? Are they real, too? Hahahaha. Last night, Wendy asked Bruce: “Salbahe ba ako?” Damn. Nagtanong ka pa. And Bruce answered that with a firm “No!” Anubayun? SHUNGA! *ahem* TANGA! She’s a psychotic, greedy, stupid, insecure, envious, proud, egocentric, pathetic, fake-boobed son of a bitch! Sorry, I just had to say that. (A’right. *composing myself* Back to being diplomatic. Ehehehe.)

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Blame Tinky Winky

Status: Amused
Music: Fly By - Blue

I know this issue is so not new especially here in the Philippines and also in the US, but I would just like to talk about it now that Europe is finally noticing what we’ve been laughing about (/ at). Anyway, are you aware that the Polish government tries to ban the hit television programme for kids Teletubbies? Why, you ask? Because they say that this show promotes homosexuality. Poland’s government has always been conservative when it comes to gender issues (to the point that it’s been dubbed homophobic) so this did not come as a surprise to me when I first heard about this on CNN about a month ago. But I really find this issue so interesting and somewhat amusing. They have a point, though. I mean, just look at Tinky Winky (see pic, left). Tinky Winky, the largest of all the teletubbies, is a male character, yet he always carries that red woman’s handbag. Not to mention he’s sooo purple. Ehehe. You think I’m kidding? No. I’m so damn serious. Poland’s Children’s Ombudsman Ewa Sowinska said that Tinky Winky’s purse could be a latent sign of homosexuality, and that the show may have some kind of hidden sexual subtext. No wonder some gay communities use Tinky Winky as an icon. Years ago, the late Jerry Falwell, an American fundamentalist pastor and televangelist, had criticised this show long before this issue sparked in Europe. Thank God Jerry Falwell is dead, that avaricious chauvinistic feminist-hater, homophobe, hatemonger, son-of-a-bitch. (Sorry, I got carried away.) And oh, can somebody tell me what Po‘s gender really is? You know, the red tomboyish-acting one. Hehehe.

Anyway, I was also able to watch a Democratic Presidential Debate (I love watching and hearing the liberal Democrats argue. I also watch the damn conservative Republicans but all I could do everytime is either cringe or puke.) When the issue on the lifting of the ban on gay men and lesbians in the US military was brought up, I liked what former First Lady Hillary Clinton said:

“You don’t have to be straight to shoot straight.”

Very well said, Senator. Were I an American, I’d vote vote for you. Too bad I’m not American. (Damn, what have I said? I’m soo happy I’m not, actually.) Hehehe.
*Photo courtesy of bbc.co.uk

Another Smorgasbord of Unwanted Comments on Contemporary Music

Status: Silly, silly me
Music: Everywhere I Go - Katharine McPhee

Before anything else, I would like to announce that I have just finished the certificate program in Foreign Service in Ateneo. *clap, clap* The graduation was held last night and I was really happy and fulfilled. This year proved to be a fantastic one for me. I have accomplished a lot, but I know there’s still so much left to accomplish so it’s not time to really celebrate yet. Anyhow, I feel really good right now. Our Social Graces class yesterday was really funny and interesting. Our instructor taught us formal rules for fine dining. I thought I knew enough about table manners and etiquette. I was surprised to have to learn so many things especially when dining with diplomats. Hmmm.

Anyway, when I checked the Billboard Hot 100 this morning, I was surprised to see Carrie Underwood‘s Before He Cheats in the Top 20. Hey, don’t get me wrong. Of all Carrie’s songs, it’s the one that I love the most. But it’s been in the Hot 100 for 41 weeks already. It’s the longest staying single in the upper half of the countdown. Her other songs have come and gone (Wasted, I’ll Stand By You) but Before He Cheats remains strong up there. Good for Carrie. It was only yesterday that I saw its video and it’s pretty nice. I really adore Carrie. She deserves everything she enjoys right now.

And he don’t know…
That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,
carved my name into his leather seats…
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,
slashed a hole in all 4 tires…
Maybe next time he’ll think before he cheats.

I also downloaded last night mp3s of Carrie’s performances on American Idol 4. She’s really amazing. It’s nice to relive her journey.

Sitting comfortably on top of the Billboard Hot 100 chart is Umbrella by Rihanna and Jay-Z. Ehehe. For weeks, this song had been in my head. This record has a powerful recall. Hear it and you’ll spend the rest of your day singing this:

Now that it’s raining more than ever
Know that we’ll still have each other
You can stand under my umbrella
You can stand under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)

But Umbrella is out of my head already. It’s been replaced by Katharine McPhee‘s Everywhere I Go. This song rocks. I don’t have Katharine’s album but I downloaded a few tracks through the net. I wouldn’t know about this record had Lei not mentioned when he commented on this post. I’ve never been hooked to a song this much since Stacie Orrico‘s I’m Not Missing You last year. Not to mention that I can really, really relate to this awesome song. Damn it. I just hope this single be released.

And I want it to be over
I so want it to be through
In the end somehow it always comes back to you

Why are Rascal Flatt‘s albums not distributed in the Philippines? I love them. I love them. I love them. And I feel guilty downloading their records illegally. Huhuhu. Calling the attention of Ms. Deane Briones and Ms. Maw Wong, how would you like to give me a copy/ies of their albums? Come on, don’t be shy. While you’re both in the US, please find some time to go to a record bar and buy a copy of any of their albums (but preferably Me and My Gang) for me. Please. For our friendship’s sake. Hahahaha. 

Is it just me, or the chorus of Yeng Constantino‘s Cool Off really sounds like Parokya ni Edgar‘s Mahal na Kung Mahal?

*Photos courtesy of pigduck.com, media.canada.com, and imageshack.us

Window Shopping

Beauty surrounds me in this hell
of goods as good as you:
those African love birds that you find
too noisy; those cool keep-out and hands-off signs
that you never respect; those royal purple undies you have
always disgusted; those designer clothes you enjoy
to bash harshly; those elegant jewellery you keep
complaining about; those blue roses that you are
allergic to; those leather shoes that make you
stumble; that exquisite bed you choose
to avoid; that velvet rope you say you can hang
yourself with; that silver pen that can only write
my name; that wrapped gift you left
untouched; that gold ring you love
to misplace; but I won’t buy any of them.
I’m just here to kill

some time. I only have enough money
for that ugly metal door and those new locks as tough as
you. And they are not for sale

today.

Note: Blogger’s original work. Don’t plagiarise. To those who would dare, as Ayn said it, may the wrath of heaven and earth fall upon you. Please see legal and ethical reminders on the sidebar. Thanks very much.

Tara, Nood Tayo!

Status: Ecstatic
Music: Save Me from Myself - Christina Aguilera

It’s confirmed: Christina Aguilera is coming to the Philippines for a concert on July 6 at the Bonifacio Global City Open Field.

Tickets to Christina Aguilera’s concert are priced at P7,350 for VIP seats, P3,675 for patron and P1,050 for general admission. Special discounts will be given to Globe subscribers.

Tara. Nood tayo. Heto na ang pinakahihintay ko! Waaaaah!

Photo courtesy of aokeevents.com

Unusual Saturday

Status: Sober
Music: Shake it Off - Mariah Carey

MJ, Yoshke and Issa somewhere along Baywalk

I was starting to complain about my Saturdays. It slowly got boring and everything sort of became a part of a routine. Though I’m glad I was able to make new friends (Helen, Shiena, Miel, Luke) and basically we have the same interests, my Saturdays never really reached the “exciting” level. It was always “just fun,” and “ok.” Not that there’s something wrong with my new friends. I’m just not used to going to school on a Saturday, and you know, school days are routine days. Flashback to two years ago when I would always go to Tagaytay to breakaway and wind down, or just do something new or different after a week of university hell. Pfffft.

But yesterday was a different Saturday. Although I didn’t intend to, I was able to break the cycle. I woke up at 7:30 and found Helen’s SMS message telling me that she was sooo lazy she won’t be coming to class. And since sloth is really doing its best climbing up my Seven Deadly Sins Chart, I decided, “What the heck?! Helen is not coming to class, and since the topic this morning might be the most boring subject Father Time has ever seen, I might as well not show up.” And I didn’t. Hehe. I slept again, woke up at 10, stepped into cyberspace, and found that my site was down, and did a little repairing. It was my first time to snob a Foreign Service class. Ahehehe.

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Happy Birthday, Miro!

Status: Cutting classes
Music: Ironic - Alanis Morissette

This day may not be very extraordinary, but it is a very, very special day. Let me greet my football / soccer super idol Germany’s Miroslav Klose a HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! He turned 29 today (June 9th). Anyway, I really, really adore Miro that I would give anything just to meet him in person. ANYTHING. I know he’s been having a little rough time with all the issues about him lately, but I know he’d get over em and get back in his excellent shape. Happy Birthday, Miro! I will support you regardless of the club you are in. (But I really wish you join Bayern Munich. Ehehehe.)
Photo courtesy of sports.msn.de