Status: Pissed
Music: In God’s Hands - Nelly Furtado

I’m a little ticked off. Earlier today, while killing time with a friend at an open-air cafe, a young beggar approached us and asked for money. Being myself that time, I firmly said no, despite the kid’s persistence. My friend was appalled and dismayed by my firmness in not sparing the poor kid some coins. But you know, I’m just not the type who gives alms to paupers on the streets. So my friend just kept on saying not-so-nice things to me while gorging on some chocolate cake and drinking coffee. And I could stand it until he called me an arrogant anti-poor prick. That hit home.

Okay. So I don’t give alms. So what? Does that make me a bad person? Does that automatically mean that I don’t have a heart for the poor? For starters, the primary reason I don’t give money, not a single coin, to wandering kids is because I don’t want them to get used to it. Is it for me? No. It’s for them. What harm will it bring me if I spare them a few bucks? None. But it will harm them. By giving them money, they’d think they could just continue what they are doing running around on the streets begging for money. Does that make me arrogant?

The last time I spared a beggar some bucks was when I was still in Grade shool. There was a beggar in front of a store just beside our school. He looked terrible. And sure, I gave him 20 pesos because I thought he was hungry or thirsty. Maybe he was. But what did he use the money I’d given him for? He bought a pack of cigarettes — while I was still there in front of him, thinking I would’ve bought a tuna sandwich for myself. And it made me feel really bad, and I swore it would never happen again.

And besides, since then, I’ve always believed that charity is something done in the right places. Yes. I may not be giving those poor people money but I help them in ways that I know are effective. My friends don’t know about this but I visit orphanages twice a year with my old books, toys, clothes and some food. My friends never wondered why I never brought a single shirt for our organisation’s rummage sale. But I guess I was just being arrogant.

My friend also mentioned this one time when I refused to eat the food that a small-time carinderia in a slum area served me. I refused to eat not because it’s the poor men’s food but simply a matter of sanitation and health. I saw the man who brought the food to our table got out of the restroom and did not wash his hands. Were I in a gourmet restaurant and saw the waiter doing the same, I would still not eat it. I watch everything I put in my mouth.

Yes, I may be pro-middle class. But it doesn’t mean I’m anti-poor. If sometimes, my political views are a little elitist, it’s for the benefit of everyone, and not just the bourgeoisie and definitely not just the elite. Yep, sometimes I question the poor’s decision-making capabilities. The educated should always lead the uneducated to the right path. That’s what my view has always been. I can’t bear to see, say, Lito Lapid be the President and bastardise everything good left in this country just because we weren’t responsible enough to think before filling out those damn ballots. But after the recent elections, I’m proud that we have all become mature as a people. And my views are beginning to change.

If I refuse to tackle poverty in the screenplays I write, it’s because I don’t like prostituting that condition of this nation to the international audience. You see, Filipino films that win in foreign film festivals all deal with poverty. I have no problem with that. That’s what they like. I have my own thing. The subjects I usually write about are problems experienced by the middle class. That’s closer to my heart. And there have been too many people focusing on the problems of the lower class in the movies. I sympathise with the poor. But it’s not something I will preoccupy myself with because there are other problems that need attention. And I never really liked socially-relevant movies. I like the psychological ones. Those that deal with humanity and not society. And what’s wrong with having the spotlight on the middle class? I mean, we’re the ones paying taxes.

And yes, I avoid going to slum and squatters’ areas. I mean, come on, blame me! I was mugged once. Three people pointed a knife at my bladder. Who won’t be pissed? (pun intended) Who won’t be bothered by the idea that you would lose your life just because those people wanted your mobile phone and it wasn’t even a Nokia N-series phone? Who won’t be traumatised when that experience had haunted you for months and even in your dreams, it wouldn’t leave you? Who wouldn’t hate the fact that your life was in the hands of people who made a living out of threatening to kill you? And that you almost lost it?

But hey, who cares? I’m an arrogant prick, anyway.

Random Posts