Status: My legs are numb.
Music: Sober - Kelly Clarkson

After getting stuck in the capital city for more than two weeks (I don’t have cable TV there), I’m finally back here in my hometown where I get to have my daily dose of HBO, National Geographic, and the most important channels for me right now, CNN and BBC. And it’s not just because of their hot correspondents. (Oh don’t get me started with that, I can talk about it all day. Max Foster. Colleen McEdwards. Hotness. And John Vause, marry me. Hehehe.) Of course, I need to be completely aware of the going-ons in the international scene for my Foreign Service career path.

Anyways, besides the devastating quake in Peru, two things caught my interest and they’re about two different farmers in the land down under, Australia.

OK, the first one. David George, a 53-year old farmer was forced to spend an entire week (yes, every minute of every day of it) up a tree in a remote crocodile-infested swamp where crocs stalked him until he was rescued. Wow. Talk about patience. Everyone, give him a round of applause. I can’t even imagine myself being stranded in an island! But this guy, he spent a week up a TREE. Damn! Very admirable. But no, I won’t try it. I mean, take away my TV and I won’t stop ranting. But up a tree? Where you can’t do practically anything pleasurable. (Other than jacking off, that is.) And not to mention the hungry maneaters waiting for you to just give up and fall. Gawd. And he’s 53-years old.

How did he get there, you ask? He fell off his horse while out in the Northern Australian outback. Injured and dazed, he climbed back into the saddle expecting that the horse would take him home. Instead, he was taken into that swamp, which seemed to be a fave hang-out place for crocs. Hmm. I guess this man has learned his lesson now: he did not have a pretty smart horse. Hehehe. I wonder what happened to the horse.

On with the other story. Des Gregor, a 56-year old Aussie farmer, arrived back to his home country last Monday after being held hostage for 12 days in Mali. Again, you ask, what the hell was he doing in Mali, anyway? Well, dig this: He just travelled to that African country expecting to marry a woman he had met over the internet, and pick up a US$86,000 (£43,000) dowry. It turned out, there was no woman. But instead he was just set up, held hostage, with his kidnappers demanding US$86,000 from him in ransom.

Wow. I know this is a sad story but can I laugh? Please. I sympathise with the victim but that was really crazy. Wahahahahaha. OK. I’m done laughing. Wahahahaha. A’right. I’m really done laughing. Now, lesson learned: cyberspace is NOT the place for romance.

Oh, look who’s talking. Hahahahaha.

Source: news.bbc.co.uk
Pictures: beconfused.com and news.bbc.co.uk

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