Hollow Life
This is a (handwritten) journal entry I wrote on February 19 this year. I just came across this page and it’s just nice to look back into my thoughts:
It’s not that I lack dopamine right now because I swear my cigarettes make sure I get my daily dose, but I really feel empty. This is not one of my drama moments. I just feel there’s something missing in my life, or something I still haven’t got. And I need to have it badly. I don’t know what it is exactly — or what they are.
The problem with me is that I want so many things and I want to have them QUICK. I want to do many things. I want to achieve so many things. I want to be so many things. Not that it’s bad. But the thing is, all my plans pile up that I don’t know what to do first and I tend to forget some of them.
Oh well. I don’t know what to do anymore. And it doesn’t make me feel good.
There. And guess what? I still feel like this. Aaaargh.
[insert background music] *yung pampaiyak ng artista, parang sa the buzz*
pagbigyan na ko. minsan lang ako mag-emo sa blog ko. hehehe.
umm, hindi lang ikaw. yun lang yun.
so you think in english? hehe.
sometimes. believe it or not pag kunyari nasa mall ako and nagmu-mumble ako na parang baliw habang naglalakad, english ako magisip. hahahaha
yung handwritten journal ko kasi ay english din.
everytime such things happen, three things come to my mind: 1) antidepressants, 2) hot showers, and 3) chocolate cakes. and suddenly, its not so bad. 🙂 cheer up yoshke. 🙂
actually i know what will surely make me feel better.
uhm.
HIM.
gawd, ang landi ko na naman. ahaha
oh, you just think it’s him. how do you know that when you get him, you still won’t feel empty?
i was talking about emptiness as a universal human emotion.
sorry, wrong…dapat you won’t still feel empty…hehe.
sige. magpaka-grammar freak tayo dito. haha
I had an entry just like this (too lazy to look it up), it’s not in my WP (gimikjunkie.com) it’s somewhere else. I linked an old blog entry from another blogsite to another one.. the date difference was big but i still felt the same from the first blog entry to the newer one. gets mo ba? ah.
sorry if you still feel the same. para kang babae na nagp-PMS ah. heh. jaykay.
uhm, gets ko naman yata. ahihihi.
salamat sa pagbisita ulit Nina! 🙂