Status: He aint gonna…
Music: Beautiful Girls - Jojo | Lovestoned – Justin Timberlake

I was lying in my bed beside my 3-year-old nephew when he, out of the blue, asked me, “Tito (uncle), do you have a girlfriend?”

“No,” I answered. “Why?”

“I have a girlfriend.”

“You? Really? What’s her name?”

“Tanya. She’s my classmate.”

Suddenly, my phone rang. It was Andre. He was with Dohna and they were asking me if I could hang out with them. Sadly, I was in Batangas so I had to beg off.

After I hung up, my nephew asked, “Your girlfriend?”

“No. It was my friend Andre.”

“Your girlfriend’s name is Andre?”

“Nope. Andre is just a friend. And he’s a boy.”

He looked at me, discombobulated. “Your girlfriend is a boy?”

Ay ewan ko sa’yo. Bahala kang bata ka.

# # #

Two weeks ago, everyone in the family, except me, was having the hardest time dealing with “sore eyes” (pinkeye). Including my nephew. I noticed that he was always scratching his bloodshot red eyes while doing his homework.

“Don’t scratch your eyes. It’ll get redder and redder.” I told him.

“It’s OK. I like red.” He answered as he continued scratching his eyes so hard.

“No, you don’t. You like blue. You never liked red.”

He looked at me, wondering dumbly, “Tito, how do I turn my eyes blue?”

“You can’t.”

He gave me a disappointed look and said, “I like red.” And then he began scratching his eyes again.

# # #

I woke up last Sunday and found my nephew in the living area holding a microphone attached to the mini-component system. My nephew knows how to operate our DVD player, VCR, TV, and everything else. Seeing him, I was shocked and annoyed at the same time. It seemed to me that he was also the one who plugged it into the socket. What if he was electrocuted while plugging it in? I was responsible for him. He could’ve died and I was still upstairs, in dreamland. Infuriated at that moment, I swore I would give him the most terrible nagging he would ever receive from anyone. I was just about to shout at him when he spoke on the microphone so sweetly. “Good morning, Tito. I love you.”

I gave him the tightest and warmest hug, instead.

# # #

At my dad’s third death anniversary dinner, I was trapped in a conversation with my family about not having a girlfriend lately. No one in my family knows about the recent change in my sexuality. Hehehe. It’s been more than two years since I last introduced a girlfriend to them and they were bugging me why I seemed to be not bringing someone home for them to know personally. I just told them that I was busy trying to build a career in the diplomatic field. Fortunately for me, they bought it. They stopped asking and turned quiet. Parang may dumaan na anghel. Whew. Thank God.

Suddenly, my nephew broke the silence. “Tito said that his girlfriend is a boy.”

Oh.My.Gawd. I almost dropped my fork. My lower jaw would have gone with it.

# # #

Oh by the way, I am selling a 3-year-old boy. He’s smart, and cute, and incredibly talkative. Name your price. Anyone interested? Hehehe.

(Nah, I love my nephew.)
images courtesy of bookofmormonposters.com

Status: Well I’m so garish, a little unfairish…
Music: Childish - Damien Rice

Someone so dear to me has just so casually called me “childish” and “immature.” It’s not a big thing really. But I don’t know why I’m bothered until now. Maybe because I think it’s true.

# # #

I just got a new haircut. I don’t like it. Uh. I think I want to kill a hairstylist right now. I’m contemplating which weapon to use. Scissors? Blade? Razor? Hairspray?

# # #

My sister borrowed some PhP100,000 from me. She said she couldn’t touch her savings and she wanted to start a business. I told her I would only lend her money if she agreed to give me 50% of the profits. She did. So yeah, I think I’m starting a new business. Wish me luck.

# # #

To you son of a bitch, STOP PESTERING ME! I did not screw your boyfriend. I maybe bitchy but I’m not a bitch. He’s cute a’right. But he’s insufferably dumb. All the poor guy knows about is “fashion.” I doubt if he can even spell it. He just gives me migraine attacks the way chocolates do. At least, chocolates have nuts. So. Fuck. Off. 

a what-to-do-in-case-of-fire pamphlet
one, two, into the cabinet

my birth certificate
one, two, into my closet

my winning lotto ticket
one, two, into the garbage basket

a scratch paper with your name on it
one, two
one, two
one, two

it will never land.
it will never leave my hand.

Note: I already posted this on my previous blog, click here. I just had to move it here so I could file my literary works under one category. Anyway, usual reminder, blogger’s original work. Please see legal and ethical reminders on the sidebar. Thanks very much.
image courtesy of jamboree.freedom-in-education.co.uk

I’ve just finished preparing penne carbonara. Yum yum. But Gawd, I’m exhausted. And I refuse to eat it with parmesan cheese since Dam-dam used the poor cheese as a metaphor for his dandruff. GROSS!

And there’s an epidemic affecting Film graduates in the blogosphere. First it was Ayn with her Top 70 Favourite Films. And then myself. And now, Dam-dam is starting to feature his Top 80. And Lei, Top 20. Come on, come on. Let’s compare afterwards. Hehehe.

Anyway, we’re almost halfway to my Top 10. If you missed the first two sets, you can find them here (50-41) and here (41-30). Moving on…

30. The Devil Wears Prada (2006)

Genre: Comedy
Director: David Frankel
Starring: Meryl Streep, Anne Hathaway
Plot: A naive young woman comes to New York and scores a job as the assistant to one of the city’s biggest magazine editors, the ruthless and cynical Miranda Priestly.
Top Critics’ Average Mark: 82%

“A million girls would kill for this job.”

Opening this batch is the very unforgiving Miranda Priestley and her two assistants Emily and Emily Andy. I soooo love Meryl Streep in this movie. Not her best performance but still truly unforgettable. Although some people may find this movie typical, formulaic or another ugly duckling tale or whatever, no one can say anything bad about its witty dialogues, terrific acting performances, and the gorgeous costumes and the uber-hot women wearing them especially Emily Blunt. If I had to judge a film just for its entertainment value, I’d give this a 100. Really funny movie. That’s all.

29. Closer (2004)

Genre: Drama
Director: Mike Nichols
Starring: Julia Roberts, Jude Law, Clive Owen, Natalie Portman
Plot: The relationships of two couples become complicated and deceitful when the man from one couple meets the woman of the other.
Top Critics’ Average Mark: 74%

“If you believe in love at first sight, you never stop looking.”

This is the only Julia Roberts-starrer in this list. Ehehehe. A cynical way of looking at relationships, Closer was publicised as the more realistic look at love. And true enough, it was very realistic. And by realistic, I mean “painful.” It’s all about lies. About cheating. About love. About longing. About confusion. About relationships. About Natalie Portman. She’s ravishing. Hehehehe.

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Hey, I was hoping I could display or embed the Flash I made for you here on my blog. But I couldn’t find a way. So I’ll just give you the link. Click here.

I know it’s cheesy or mushy or whatever goddamn adjective you want to call it. But what the heck? I still spent a full hour making that. So you HAVE to see it. Hehehe.

Happy Birthday.

Status: In Euphoria
Music: What Goes Around – Justin Timberlake

“…What goes around, goes around, goes around
Comes all the way back around…”

I interrupt my regular blogging updates with a great, great news. The UP Pep Squad finally wins back the UAAP Samsung Cheerdance Competition championship. Just when I decided not to go to the Araneta Coliseum to see it live because not the slightest expectation that this would happen entered my mind. But come on, after an embarrassing men’s basketball record, my university turned out to be still full of surprises. So much for balance of nature. I love’t. Congratulations to the UP Pep Squad! At sa lahat ng mga iskolar ng bayan! Yebah. And for that, I shall get drunk tonight. After all, there’s a dinner party at home to celebrate the memory of my dad.

“…Matatapang, matatalino.
Walang takot, kahit kanino,
Hinding-hinde magpapahuli,
Ganyan kaming mga taga-UP!!!”
— UP Default Cheer

Yey. Finally.

pic courtesy of ubelt.com, will change it soon. hehe.

Status: Reminiscin’
Music: By Your Side - Sade; Adia – Sarah Mclachlan

Note: This was originally posted on my previous blog last year. I just want to repost this because today is my dad’s third death anniversary.

Exactly a couple of years ago (now three), I lost my dad to liver cancer. Hmmm… Too bad I’m still here in the city while everyone in the family is in the province having a little dinner, perhaps.

Last week, there was a big yellow butterfly on a glass window pane in my room. I heard my mum tell me, “That’s your dad, checking if we’re okay.”

Since childhood, I have always considered that idea absurd. You know, that our departed loved ones’ souls sometimes visit us in another form — butterfly, moth, dove — it’s rubbish. But since my dad passed away, a big yellow butterfly always comes to our sweet abode as soon as September starts. It’s weird. Err… I’m not saying I believe that now.

But on Monday night, I woke up terribly freaked out because I had something on my right hand. I thought it was a small lizard or something. In utter shock, I made the eewy thing go away, but it was so stubborn so I hit the window pane with the same hand. Yuck. When I turned the lights on, I realised it was that big yellow butterfly that had always been in my room since the month began. In other words, I broke the window pane. And the butterfly, crushed dead.

The next morning, my mum asked me, “Oh, where is your dad (referring to that yellow butterfly)?”

And so I answered, “Err… I think I killed him last night.”

Poor daddy.

Edit: I had to delete the second half of this entry — the part about my lovelife. It just reminds me of something bitter whenever I see it. So there.
-pic courtesy of cheesebyhand.com
*with apologies to Sarah Mclachlan (Adia)

Status: Oooh, these cute pink earphones…
Music: Who Knew - Pink

Everybody keeps noticing my light pink earphones lately. And they’ve been tormenting me, telling me so blatantly how GAY it is of me to actually own them.

Well, I AM gay. So, what’s their problem?! I don’t get it.

But then again, some of them don’t know about my pink secret yet. So okie, I guess, I get it.

# # #

Last weekend I was with two of my close friends. When Girl (obviously, name changed to protect our friendship, hehe) showed up, my initial reaction was look at Boy. His face was just as sour as mine. We then smiled, almost laughing. It’s because of Girl’s get-up. Girl was wearing a violent pink top and a sky blue skirt. So when Girl went to the washroom, we finally had time to talk about it.

Boy said to me, “Tell her not to stand still or she’d look like an MMDA overpass. Tell her it’s horrendous! Tell her!”

“I can’t do that, ” I protested.

“Why not?”

“My parents raised me right! I only talk about a person behind her back.”

Boy displayed an odd look.

So I added, “It’s called ‘friendship.’”

# # #

Suddenly, I miss an ex-girlfriend. She loves pink. And she has a new boyfriend.

Uhm, I think it’s about time that I also get a boyfriend. Anyone? Hahaha.

Status: Pissed
Music: The Power of Orange Knickers - Damien Rice and Tori Amos

I had a terrible dream last night. In my dream, I failed the second of the three Foreign Service exams because I flunked the Foreign Language part. Gawd. God must’ve been telling me to brush up on my French now. But everytime I grab my readings, something tells me to just do something less boring, like, I don’t know, blogging. And yeah, I’m just too darn lazy. Aaargh.

Actually, it’s not entirely my fault. After passing the first exam, I’ve been waiting for the second set for, like, forever but the Department of Foreign Affairs postponed the damn three-day exam. Talk about prolonging the agony.

Having a half-French younger brother, Josh, doesn’t help because aside from the fact that we haven’t been seeing each other lately, he doesn’t speak the language fluently, either. The guy is useless. Hehe. (I can say this because I know he doesn’t visit my blog so I can call him whatever I want. But Josh, if ever you stumble upon this post, know that I am just kidding. Hehehe.)

The last time I spoke French was two or three years ago (my French class). But it’s really hard to master a language that you don’t really use everytime. And not to mention that French is a really difficult language to learn. Je comprends et parle un petit peut français mais c’est tres complique et difficile. Waaaah. I should’ve taken up German instead.

I’m thinking of enroling in an intensive French course at Alliance Française de Manille this October. Or might just go back to UP.

I shall become an ambassador.

# # #

Another thing that pisses me off is the idea that I should’ve been in Singapore this past weekend. Tonet invited me to join her at a film festival there. I didn’t have a passport so last month, I requested for a copy of my birth certificate from the National Statistics Office.

Apparently, they have no record whatsoever of my birth. What the eff?! They said that the municipal office might have had forgotten to forward the document to them so all I had to do was wait while they process my papers and it took them forever. When I finally got my copy, I still had to apply for a passport and of course, it was too late. Tonet is now having the time of her life in Singapore and I’m still blogging here. Why didn’t I take care of my documents earlier, anyway? Pffffft.

First, London. Next, Shanghai / Beijing. Then, Jakarta. And now, Singapore. Why does laziness always get the better of me? If sloth is indeed a deadly sin, then heck, I better have a reservation in hell!

Oh well, c’est la vie.

picture courtesy of krustofski.com

A’right. I think it’s time to go back to my countdown of my most-adored movies. If you missed the first set (50-41), click here. Anyway, I have to remind you again that this is not a list of the greatest films in history but my favourites. This list is very personal. And of course, my taste may not jive with yours. You can rant all you want if you find anything disagreeable, see if I care. (Taray!)

Anyway, on with the next batch. Popcorns ready? Here it goes.

40. Batman Movies: Batman (1989), Batman Returns (1992), Batman Forever (1995), Batman and Robin (1997), Batman Begins (2005)

Genre: Adventure, Action
Director: Tim Burton, Joel Schumacher, Christopher Nolan
Starring: Michael Keaton, Jack Nicholson, Kim Basinger; Michelle Pfeiffer, Danny deVito; Val Kilmer, Nicole Kidman; George Clooney, Chris O’Donnell, Alicia Silverstone, Uma Thurman, Arnold Schwarzenegger; Christian Bale, Katie Holmes
Plot: Billionaire Bruce Wayne walks the fine line between justice and vengeance as he fights crime as the Batman.
Top Critics’ Average Mark: 59%

“It’s not who you are underneath, it’s what you do that defines you.”

The best of all Batman movies, definitely, is Batman Begins. My friend and movie buddy, Ayn, (ay, may ganun?) wrote on her own list: “Oh, I admit it. I just wanted to put a Batman movie in the list because I love Batman. I’ve been in love with Batman ever since I was a little kid. I think I actually wanted to be Batman at some point. Yes, I even love Batman Forever, if only for Nicole Kidman. One thing I love about Batman movies is the absence of America-as-the-world’s-superhero theme that is present in the Superman and Spiderman franchises… I’m so excited for next chapter of Batman (The Dark Knight) coming 2008 with Christian Bale, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Heath Ledger, Aaron Eckhart and Gary Oldman.”

Howkeeey. Ayn already said pretty much EVERYTHING I want to say. Fine. But I disagree with her about something. She deliberately excluded “Batman and Robin” from her list because she didn’t like it. (How could you, Ayn?! How could you?!) I liked it. And oh, this is the second Nicole Kidman-starrer in my list.

Christian Bale, you are my superhero. I mean, Batman.

39. Harry Potter Movies: The Prisoner of Azkaban (2004), The Goblet of Fire (2005), The Order of the Phoenix (2007)

Genre: Adventure
Director: Alfonso Cuaron, Mike Newell, David Yates
Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint
Plot: A young boy with a great destiny proves his worth while attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Top Critics’ Average Mark: 83%

“It is not our abilities that show what we truly are… it is our choices.”

I’ll be lying if I say that I didn’t like the first two Harry Potter movies. I liked them, too. But I was not as crazy over them as I was over the last three adaptations. But the best in the series is the third installment, The Prisoner of Azkaban. It is the only movie that I can say “better than the book.” But then of course, it’s not fair to Newell and Yates because they had to adapt such a thick book to just a two-hour magical experience. But still, Cuaron is really the best. One thing that amazes me is how they would cast people who actually look like the way I imagined them to be when I was reading the book. Luna Lovegood, for example, I swear, that was exactly how I imagined her. I loove her. She’s adorable. Anyways, sometimes I wish this whole Potter thing not to end. At least, I have something to look forward to every year. Oh well, that’s life.

38. Pirates of the Caribbean Movies: The Curse of Black Pearl (2003), Dead Man’s Chest (2006), At World’s End (2007)

Genre: Adventure, Comedy, Fantasy
Director: Gore Verbinski
Starring: Johnny Depp, Keira Knightley, Orlando Bloom
Plot: Damn, this is hard. According to Ayn: a pirate’s life.
Top Critics’ Average Mark: 47% Aaaw

“You’ll have the chance to do something… something courageous. And when you do, you’ll discover something. That you’re a good man.”

I don’t like Johnny Depp. But I loooooooove Captain Jack Sparrow, and for that, okie, I like Johnny Depp. (Agh, can’t make up my mind. Help!) And what do I like about these movies? Hmmmm. Do I really have to say anything? Whatever I say, it won’t change the fact that you LOVED these films. And that you will still watch the next Pirates films…. Er, and yeah, I just can’t think of anything to say. Ehehehehe.

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