Status: Reminiscin’
Music: By Your Side - Sade; Adia – Sarah Mclachlan

Note: This was originally posted on my previous blog last year. I just want to repost this because today is my dad’s third death anniversary.

Exactly a couple of years ago (now three), I lost my dad to liver cancer. Hmmm… Too bad I’m still here in the city while everyone in the family is in the province having a little dinner, perhaps.

Last week, there was a big yellow butterfly on a glass window pane in my room. I heard my mum tell me, “That’s your dad, checking if we’re okay.”

Since childhood, I have always considered that idea absurd. You know, that our departed loved ones’ souls sometimes visit us in another form — butterfly, moth, dove — it’s rubbish. But since my dad passed away, a big yellow butterfly always comes to our sweet abode as soon as September starts. It’s weird. Err… I’m not saying I believe that now.

But on Monday night, I woke up terribly freaked out because I had something on my right hand. I thought it was a small lizard or something. In utter shock, I made the eewy thing go away, but it was so stubborn so I hit the window pane with the same hand. Yuck. When I turned the lights on, I realised it was that big yellow butterfly that had always been in my room since the month began. In other words, I broke the window pane. And the butterfly, crushed dead.

The next morning, my mum asked me, “Oh, where is your dad (referring to that yellow butterfly)?”

And so I answered, “Err… I think I killed him last night.”

Poor daddy.

Edit: I had to delete the second half of this entry — the part about my lovelife. It just reminds me of something bitter whenever I see it. So there.
-pic courtesy of cheesebyhand.com
*with apologies to Sarah Mclachlan (Adia)

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