The Promil Kid Drops the Bomb

Of all the living things created by God, I love my nephew the most. I call him the Promil Kid. He’s the cutest thing. I’ve always written about him and he has won the love of the people around me even before they met him. I’m starting to think he could be my mascot for this blog. Something like Dexter. 😛

Someday when he’s old enough to discover what I’ve been doing to him, he’ll insist he get paid for every entry I wrote about him. Darn, that’d be costly!

We fight over a bar of snickersI reprimanded him for calling a salesman “hideous?He kicked his school principal for not letting him take home a Sto. Nino displayed inside the churchHe almost dropped the bomb that I’m gay in a family dinnerHe believed the Virgin Mary was Our Lady of Enchanted Kingdom. But he’s someone I can give my life to, and I will if I have to.

Here are some more of my unforgettable moments with the Promil Kid.

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I was lying in my bed beside my 3-year-old nephew when he, out of the blue, asked me, “Tito (uncle), do you have a girlfriend?”

“No,” I answered. “Why?”

“I have a girlfriend.”

“You? Really? What’s her name?”

“Tanya. She’s my classmate.”

Suddenly, my phone rang. It was Andre. He was with Dohna and they were asking me if I could hang out with them. Sadly, I was in Batangas so I had to beg off.

After I hung up, my nephew asked, “Your girlfriend?”

“No. It was my friend Andre.”

“Your girlfriend’s name is Andre?”

“Nope. Andre is just a friend. And he’s a boy.”

He looked at me, discombobulated. “Your girlfriend is a boy?”

Ay ewan ko sa’yo. Bahala kang bata ka.

# # #

Two weeks ago, everyone in the family, except me, was having the hardest time dealing with “sore eyes” (pinkeye). Including my nephew. I noticed that he was always scratching his bloodshot red eyes while doing his homework.

“Don’t scratch your eyes. It’ll get redder and redder.” I told him.

“It’s OK. I like red.” He answered as he continued scratching his eyes so hard.

“No, you don’t. You like blue. You never liked red.”

He looked at me, wondering dumbly, “Tito, how do I turn my eyes blue?”

“You can’t.”

He gave me a disappointed look and said, “I like red.” And then he began scratching his eyes again.

# # #

I woke up last Sunday and found my nephew in the living area holding a microphone attached to the mini-component system. My nephew knows how to operate our DVD player, VCR, TV, and everything else. Seeing him, I was shocked and annoyed at the same time. It seemed to me that he was also the one who plugged it into the socket. What if he was electrocuted while plugging it in? I was responsible for him. He could’ve died and I was still upstairs, in dreamland. Infuriated at that moment, I swore I would give him the most terrible nagging he would ever receive from anyone. I was just about to shout at him when he spoke on the microphone so sweetly. “Good morning, Tito. I love you.”

I gave him the tightest and warmest hug, instead.

# # #

At my dad’s third death anniversary dinner, I was trapped in a conversation with my family about not having a girlfriend lately. No one in my family knows about the recent change in my sexuality. Hehehe. It’s been more than two years since I last introduced a girlfriend to them and they were bugging me why I seemed to be not bringing someone home for them to know personally. I just told them that I was busy trying to build a career in the diplomatic field. Fortunately for me, they bought it. They stopped asking and turned quiet. Parang may dumaan na anghel. Whew. Thank God.

Suddenly, my nephew broke the silence. “Tito said that his girlfriend is a boy.”

Oh.My.Gee. I almost dropped my fork. My lower jaw would have gone with it.

images courtesy of bookofmormonposters.com

Comments

  1. OMG that was hilarious. Aren’t little kids great? You can’t LEARN that stuff 😛 He sounds great and its good to hear that you can wince at his comments and still enjoy his company.

  2. “Tito said that his girlfriend is a boy.? – so on the money!

    mom fed me with countless bottles of promil when i was a kid, but your nephew will never outdo me. how much is he again? =)

  3. Such wonderful annecdotes with a toddler, very naive indeed! Ang galeng! Hey, y not send these annecdotes to Reader’s digest? Malay mo u can earn Xtra on d side! hehehe

  4. discombobulated!!! parang name ng isang alien. kumusta yun?

    ibulsa mo na lang ang nephew mo at ilabas mo pag nagkita ulit tayo.

    heehee!

  5. aaaw… namiss ko tuloy yung nephew ko. feel ko they’ll get along really well.. just like us. 🙂 hahaha.

    as for my nephew’s case, i’m blaming too much chucky cheese. and cable tv. 🙂

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