Anal with a Man, It’s True!

This is a video interpretation of misheard lyrics to Christina Aguilera‘s “Ain’t No Other Man.” When I first saw this video some months back, I couldn’t help laughing my guts out. This is really funny. And don’t just take my word for it, see for yourself. (And yep, it’s wholesome. Trust me.)

What say you? Hilarious, ain’t it?

I also came across this picture while browsing through urbandictionary.com. This one really made me go “WHAAAAT?!?!”

Winner! At least she got the second largest.

Special thanks to ColorTrick (YouTube) and urbandictionary.com

The Art of Losing isn’t Hard to Master*

Status: On the losing end.
Music: By Your Side – Sade

“The art of losing isn’t hard to master,” says one poem. My high school friends always told me that if there was one thing that they admired about me, it was my ability to ALWAYS look on the bright side. True, I was like that. But something robbed me of that optimism. I kind of lost myself somewhere.

On New Year’s Eve, I was about to go to the kitchen when I tripped on my toe. It was excruciating. But then, I made myself believe that I needed that pain to start the year right, so that everything I would feel from then on would be less painful. I was wrong. It was just the start.

I have lost so much since this year started. I lost my 3-year old mp3 player on the way to the office on January 2. I lost my ATM card a week later. And then, I lost my motorcycle while it was parked at the garage of our house in Batangas two weeks ago. I lost P5400 the other night somewhere in Ortigas after a fun gathering with my co-workers. I even lost my toothbrush somewhere in my apartment. The art of losing isn’t hard to master.

I lost two opportunities I’d rather not discuss. I lost all the hopes of passing the Foreign Service Exam, which I worked hard on but screwed up just because I failed to follow one simple instruction. I lost my drive to work hard. I lost my passion for writing, even screenplays. I lost my love for the littlest things. I lost my direction. The art of losing isn’t hard to master.

I lost two really good friends this month. I lost one to Australia. The other, to the United States, which is now the home country of many of my close friends. The art of losing isn’t hard to master.

And I really, really like someone. But I’m afraid he doesn’t feel the same way. I’m afraid to love him. I’m more afraid to lose. Sometimes, it is not the idea of losing that gets me. It is the feeling of being a loser.

The art of losing isn’t TOO hard to master.

Yes, when I was in high school, I would always look on the bright side. But if there’s one thing that college taught me, it is that some things are so dark they don’t have a bright side.

*with apologies to Elizabeth Bishop
**image courtesy of 121hypnosis.com

What’s All the Racket?

Status: Sinfully lazy.
Music: Hot Stuff – Craig David

An officemate accused me of loving Miroslav Klose (football/soccer player) just because of my sheer lust for him. I told him that I didn’t even find Klose sexy. He’s cute, aright? But my love for him is so beyond his physique. (But I wouldn’t mind having Klose for a night. Gawd, I’m daydreaming again.)

If there is one guy in sports that I really find incredibly hot, he’s not kicking a ball around the field. He’s smashing a ball with a racket. Another officemate asked me who it was. This was my answer:

If you don’t know him, poor you. Hehe. I would like to write something about him in my own words but it seems like sloth is getting the better of me, so I just copied this from his Wikipedia entry:

Marat Safin (born January 27, 1980) is a Russian former World No. 1 tennis player of Tatar ethnicity. Safin began his professional career in 1997 and held the No. 1 world ranking for 9 weeks in November and December of 2000. He is known for his good looks, large physical size, athleticism, controversial antics, and aggressive “power” style of play. He is fluent in Russian, English and Spanish.

Safin’s greatest accomplishments are winning the 2000 US Open (defeating Pete Sampras) and the 2005 Australian Open (defeating Lleyton Hewitt). Safin also helped lead Russia to davis Cup victories in 2002 and 2006.

So there. Hihi. You wanna see more of this tennis yumminess? Click here. (Come on, don’t be shy. I know you want to.)

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The Ghost Behind Debbie

Status: I’m not dense. I just had a slight lack of common sense…
Music: Go On Girl – Ne-Yo

Note: I know Halloween has long been over but I just really have to blog about this because this is the first time I experienced something like this since I started blogging in 2004.

I don’t really have a third eye or sixth sense or something. But I have had a few encounters with the supernatural since I was in Grade School. I don’t see them, though. I hear them. I feel them. I just know when there’s someone else (or something else) present in the same room I am in. But it doesn’t happen all the time. Here are some of my past encounters:

- When I was in High School, my friends were shocked to see two “me’s” in the same room. Yep, someone took my form and did a freak-fest with my friends. I never saw him.

- Back in college, I was in Manila when I received a call from a cousin who was staying at our house in Batangas. She told me that she was currently looking at someone who looked exactly like me. That someone was standing at the doorway of our house.

- I was staying at my friend’s house when a heavy invisible force struck me. There was a part of their house that I couldn’t lay my eyes on. It was painful to the eyes and it really felt heavy. I can’t describe it properly. Another friend noticed how I was acting that night. She said, “You see him? I can. It’s an old man.” Later, we found out that it was where my friend’s lolo died.

As I said, since I started blogging in 2004, I haven’t had any contact with them. Until I got this job.

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And Just Like That… I am Back.

Yoshke is back. I am sooo back.

…

Year 2007 came to a close pleasantly. It was so good to me. In fact, it was the best year of my life. Years of resentment ended. Nice closures. New environment. New people. New business. New job. New achievements. New opportunities. New life.

2008 should be promising a fuckin’ wonderful year ahead. But right now, I am not happy. I look happy but I am not. I just feel so miserable inside. Something died. I wish I could say that I have no idea what robbed me of the happiness I had long kept in my hands. But I know exactly what it is.

Yes, I am back. But I left something in 2007 and I need it back. Badly.

The truth is, I feel like I’m on the brink of depression. Seriously.

…

“If I were thinking clearly, I would tell you that I wrestle alone in the dark, in the deep dark, and that only I can know. Only I can understand my condition.”
— Virginia Woolf in The Hours

…

I am back.