Note: I originally wrote this entry for Crunkish.com, a really interesting site which features top 10 lists of just about anything. Our team put up the site and I contributed a lot. It’s a really fun site. It is still under construction but if you want to take a peek, knock yourself out.

Being in a relationship is not easy. It is also very unpredictable. One day, you are having the greatest moment of your life with your partner and the next day, you are crying your eyes out. One day, you desperately want to spend the rest of your life with your partner and the next day, you may find your things all packed up out on the sidewalk. Yes, being in a relationship is very difficult. It is much more difficult if you think that your partner is also having affections for the same sex. It may even be the hardest challenge that any couple could deal with.

Figuring out whether your loved one is gay or not is a very tricky business. There are as many types of gayness as there are many gay guys in the world.  Quintessential to ambiguous.

If you think your boyfriend is gay, watch out for signs. Most gay people share things that are unique or, at least, distinct to them.

WARNING: These signs are a bit stereotypical. These are not absolute. If you see these signs on your boyfriend, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he is gay or bisexual. Not seeing these signs doesn’t mean that he is not, either. Again, playing detective is a tricky business. But hey, give it a shot. Here are the top 10 telltale signs that your boyfriend belongs to the fabulous federation.

10. The Bathroom Rituals

Pay attention to his grooming habits. Notice how he meticulously does his hair. Try to find out how he chose the grooming products he owns. An average guy doesn’t care about what brand or what type of products he uses. Is he particularly interested in top designer shoes and other accessories? Another warning sign is the time he spends inside the bathroom. If he takes longer than you do, that may be a sign that he is playing for the other team.

9. The Diva Fanaticism

People always consider gay guys to be fans of many divas. If your boyfriend likes listening to divas such as Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, Celine Dion, Barbra Streisand and (God forbid) Cher, then he might be one flaming gay man. Have you ever seen your boyfriend listening to any of these divas’ records? Or worse, have you ever heard him singing any of their songs? And if he indeed sings their songs, does he do it in falsetto? If your answer is yes, then that could be a sign.

8. The Beauty Pageant Obsession

For some reason, gay guys love watching beauty pageants as far as stereotypes are concerned. These events are a celebration of beauty and glamour that many gay people really value.

Of course, your boyfriend won’t let his fascination to beauty pageant be known but if you really want to know, here’s a quick tip. While talking about another topic, ask this question out of the blue: “Oh by the way, who was the 1999 Miss Universe?”

If he is able to give you an answer, be scared girl. Be very scared.

7. The Shifty Eyes

Another excellent way to know if your boyfriend is gay is by simply observing his eyes. Yep, it’s all in the eyes. The next time you two are walking in a mall or around a local park with numerous people, notice how his eyes move. Some gay people let their eyes wander and jump from one guy to another. Notice how he shifts his vision when a hot man passes by. If his eyes are shifty when he is around men, he might be gay.

6. The Urinal Dilemma

A closeted gay man also feels uncomfortable and uneasy around straight guy friends as he tries hard not to make his concealed sexuality to show. In a public men’s room, a closeted gay man is also uncomfortable using any empty urinal when other straight men are using the ones near his. Often, instead of using the urinals, he would go to the stalls and just pee into the toilet bowl.

5. The Oprah Quotes

Gay men, whether out or closeted, are inspired by many gay people who have proven their worth in history. There is just pure pride and sense of accomplishment that many gay guys feel when someone gay is able to achieve something. This can be evident by his in-depth knowledge on these things. Can’t he go five minutes without quoting Oscar Wilde? Does he keep on stressing out that Alexander the Great was gay and that he was in love with his best friend? Does he always talk about how Oprah did something? OK, Oprah is not gay but many gay people love her.

4. The X-Men Factor

Do you play video games with your boyfriend? If so, you’ll be glad that there is also a way of knowing if he is guy just by looking at his character choices. Many gay men would pick a female character in a game on a versus mode. For example, in X-Men, Storm is a gay man’s favourite, they say. It is not sure whether there is a psychological explanation for this. If your boyfriend chooses a male character, it doesn’t mean that you’re safe. Cyclops is also often a gay man’s pick because, well, he is extremely hot. And he abhors Jean Grey for that.

3. The Fashion Compliments

Your boyfriend might be gay if he gives you too much compliments in a very unmanly way. For example, instead of saying “You look beautiful,” he goes “I like the way your scarf matches the tan-ness of your skin and oh, your suede shoes are sooo fetch.” If you hear that from your boyfriend, wow, you’re lucky. A boyfriend-slash-fashion police! How cool is that?

2. The Downright Gay-bashing

Some gay people hiding inside the closet are usually very vocal about their distaste and hatred for gay men. While it seems a little counterintuitive, there is a reason why they do it. Because they don’t want to be caught or be suspected that they are members of the third sex, they would cover their true identity by blatantly expressing their rage against gay men. They also tend to overdo this; thus, they become harsh gay-bashers. If your boyfriend is like that, then he might be gay. As one adage goes, the greatest homophobe is a homosexual in denial.

1. The Beautiful Strangers

Check out his Myspace, Facebook or Friendster pages. One of the most definitive signs that your boyfriend is gay is that there are some male strangers in his Myspace list of friends or contacts. If you have never seen these men or you don’t know whether they are your boyfriend’s friends in person, they might just had their communication online. An average straight guy won’t view, much less add to his list of contacts, a man he doesn’t know personally. At least, that’s what some say.

It’s not just Myspace, research and try to find out if he has accounts in gay networking sites. You can also check your browser’s history to see if he has visited any gay adult site on the web.

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The truth is, you don’t need all these signs to know whether your partner is gay or not. What you should do is sit down and talk to him about it. Make him feel that it is all right and that you understand. Finding out if your boyfriend is gay needs a little observation and a lot of honesty.

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