yoshke.com

Status: Pissed.
Music: What About Now | Daughtry

I may be gay but I consider myself a gentleman. When riding the train, I usually give my seat to the woman standing in front of me. And when a woman and I happen to enter a building or a store at the same time, I give way and hold the door for her. These things, I do because I believe I am a good person. And of course, whenever I practice such acts of respect and generosity, and as common courtesy suggests, I expect a simple “Thank you.”

If the woman fails to thank me, I usually just shrug it off. Yes, I expect a tiny display of gratitude but I don’t really give a damn if her parents did a terrible job raising her. But what the woman shouldn’t do is screw me after I held the door for her. And that’s exactly what happened last Tuesday.

After walking around Glorietta with my very pretty cousin, I felt the need to check my email. So we headed to Netopia somewhere near Ayala MRT Station. As always, I opened the door for my cousin. Another woman entered as I was holding the door. After I had closed it, I approached the counter. There was an old man logging in so I stood behind him and waited for my turn. This woman approached the counter and positioned herself BESIDE the old man in front of me. She said to the cashier demandingly, “Internet, please.”

At that moment, I knew she was trying to get ahead of me and jump the queue. Two customers who had just arrived stood behind that woman, forming a longer queue.

Seconds later, the man in front of me was logged in and walked away from the counter. Again, the woman said, “Internet, please.” And because I knew what she was up to, I also said to the cashier, “Miss, Internet.”

To my surprise, the cashier reminded me that there was a line and asked me to stand at the end of it. I flashed a joshed look and protested tactfully, “Miss, I am first in line.”

Then, the woman beside me (the one I held the door for) said, “No, I am first here.”

I ignored the woman and said to the cashier, “I was standing behind the man who just left.”

But the woman was insisting, “No, I am first.”

At that moment, I felt my blood reach boiling point. So out of utter rage, I turned to that ugly, little bitch and said, “What the hell are you talking about?! You know I am first in line. I approached the counter first. And my Gawd, I even held the door for you when you were coming in!”

The woman yelled, “No, you’re a lier! You did not held the door for me!”

Believe it or not, I still managed to snicker! But I didn’t mind her grasp of the English language (or the lack thereof). I turned to the cashier and insisted calmly, “Miss, I am first in line. You may have thought this ungrateful woman here was because she kept on saying ‘Internet, please’ even when you were busy entertaining the man who was in front of me.”

With that, she logged me in and gave me a number. I turned around and started to walk away. But that old, ugly witch kept on shouting “You’re a lier. Stop lying!” She went on and on.

Lord, forgive me for having done this. I stopped walking, turned to her, and bellowed “BITCH!!!”

That shut her up. My cousin gave me a tap on the back and uttered smilingly, “Good job!”
…

PS: When I was logging out, the cashier apologized to me and claimed that her co-workers had just told her that I was THE first in line.

image courtesy of bonnvoyage.wordpress.com

So we’ve come to the end of the road. After almost a year of counting down my 50 all-time favourite films, we have now reached the end. If you missed the first 49, here’s help: Top 50-41, 40-31, 30-21, 20-11, 10-4, 3-2.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, I give you my #1 favourite film of all time.

1. The Hours (2002)

Genre: Drama
Director: Stephen Daldry
Starring: Nicole Kidman, Julianne Moore, Meryl Streep, Ed Harris
Plot: The time to hide is over. The time to regret is gone. The time to live is now.
Top Critics’ Average Mark: 80%

“A woman’s whole life in a single day. Just one day. And in that day her whole life.”

If you haven’t seen this film yet, here’s the trailer. Prepare to be blown away.

And here’s a clip from this stunning piece of work.

That’s arguably the most troubling among the many unforgettably affecting scenes in the movie. It’s actually very hard to choose one outstanding scene from the film because almost every scene is important and effective.

Anyway, I’ve seen this film exactly 20 times. I memorized probably 80% of its dialogue. Haha.

Let me enumerate the things I adore about this superb film and the reasons it’s on the top of my list:

• Its quietness. It’s a very, very quiet movie but it moved me. Thanks to the awesome screenplay.
• Its musical score. Although often dubbed ‘the weakest aspect’ of this film, I was totally haunted by the score.
• It’s not preachy. It tackles life, death and everything in between with so much depth but without any attempt to force the audience to believe it. It gives enough space for the audience to think for themselves. Very insightful.
• It’s liberating. Although many who have seen this think that this is one heck of a depressing film, I believe otherwise. Yes, it creates a sad atmosphere but it actually urges us to breakaway from sadness and just live life the way we want to.
• Nicole Kidman, Julianne Moore, Meryl Streep… How can you not love this movie?
• Ed Harris delivers a poignant performance here, earning him an Oscar nomination although he was in only two scenes.
• It’s the film that gave Nicole Kidman her first Oscar. Just how amazing Nicole is in this movie? See for yourself.

For the longest time, “The Hours” was considered “unfilmable.” Now it’s a real masterpiece.

Here’s the COMPLETE LIST of my top 50 all-time favourite films. Read the rest of this entry »

Note: This entry was written for Crunkish.com, a site that our team put up. It is still under construction but if you want to take a peek, knock yourself out.

Throughout history, we have witnessed the rise and fall of countless rulers. Many of them did a really admirable job that their names are written in countless history books. Others still linger in our consciousness today not because of their delightful contributions to mankind but their crazy, twisted ways.

“Crazy” is a very vague word. It can refer to someone mentally ill, utterly evil or just plain ridiculous. Whatever your definition of this word is, here are the top ten craziest leaders in world history.

10. KIM JONG IL (North Korea)

For many people, his name suits him well. Kim Jong Il is really as ill as any leader can get. The current ruler of North Korea, he succeeded his father and the founder of North Korea, Kim Il-sung. He did not just replace his father, he proclaimed himself “Eternal President.” He has been consistently criticized by many contemporary leaders and international organizations for his lack of commitment to make the peninsula free of nuclear weapons.

The country also holds large concentration camps where 50,000 people including women and children who are accused of political crimes are being held. Violations of human rights are being reported left and right — murdering babies and enslaving inmates.

While his country is suffering, he enjoys a very luxurious lifestyle. He boasts North Korea’s finest wine cellar, containing 10,000 bottles of expensive wine. He also purchases bottles of Hennessy Cognac worth $700,000 every year. He had also spent more than $20 million on 200 Mercedes Benz S500 sedans added to the country’s pile of 7,000 Mercedes. He is also a huge movie fan with a collection of over 20,000 tapes.

Craziest quote: “National defense is the sacred duty of the young and all other people. “

Craziest moment: He showed off his country’s nuclear power by conducting two rounds of missile tests on July 5, 2006. The tests received immense negative reactions from the international community. But hey, it actually worked for him! Haha. Clever.

Read the rest of this entry »

I know this post is long overdue. It’s been seven months since I posted the last installment and I think it’s just time to reveal my top 3 favourite films of all time. You may view the rest of the list here: 50-41, 40-31, 30-21, 20-11 and 10-3.

Again, usual disclaimer: this is not a list of the BEST movies for me. This is a favourites list — films that I can watch over and over again, regardless of how many awards they swept.

…

3. Love Actually (2003)

Genre: Romantic Comedy
Director: Richard Curtis
Starring: Colin Firth, Keira Knightley, Emma Thompson, Hugh Grant, Bill Nighy, Liam Neeson
Plot: Follows the lives of eight very different couples in dealing with their love lives in various loosely and interrelated tales all set during a frantic month before Christmas.
Top Critics’ Average Mark: 60%

“Christmas is a time for people with someone they love in their lives.”

This is the ULTIMATE romantic comedy. If you want to feel good and believe that one day, you’ll find the right person for you, watch this movie. Wahaha. This is extremely enjoyable and, er, romantic. In fact, since its release, watching this film on Christmas Eve has become a tradition in my room. Haha.

What I love about it is that it is entertaining and touching. Despite the huge cast and the Altmanesque approach, each storyline actually managed to create a connection to the audience (at least, to me). I especially liked the line of action of Jamie (Colin Firth) and Aurelia (the Portuguese girl).

I also fell in love with the scene above. It’s just moving but poignant. Emma Thompson is also effective here. I felt her pain. Laura Linney’s struggle, too. And oh, that worse-than-the-agony-of-being-in-love kid is love.

Can’t wait for Christmas Eve. Hehe.

..

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Status: Way better.
Music: Feelin’ So Good | Jennifer Lopez

The past few weeks have been a bitch-ass on me. I struggled with tonsilitis, giving me hellish fever and excruciating time eating. For two weeks, I couldn’t get out of bed. The only time I went out of the house was when I decided to see a doctor. After all, this was my fourth tonsilitis this year and my usual meds didn’t seem to work this time. Ah, damn illness loves me so.

Since our family doctor was somewhere in the South celebrating summer, I chose to visit a hospital. My mum went with me and yes, I let her (because that meant she’d be the one payin’ the bills).

When I approached the front desk, it suddenly dawned on me that it was the hospital my ex-girlfriend works at. I prayed she won’t show up (coz I looked hideous). Thank God she did not. Instead, when I entered the emergency room (which also serves as the hospital’s clinic), I was welcomed by a young doctor — A HOTTT DOCTOR.

Life is pretty fair after all, I thought. Haha.

The nurses did the usual stuff — temperature, blood pressure, etc. And then the hot doctor (probably in his late 30s) started asking questions about my condition. He seemed puzzled that I had been taking the right meds but they weren’t working. And then he asked, “Have you been smoking?”

Thank God my mum was busy texting, she didn’t hear a thing. I asked her if she could just wait for me outside because hey, I’m 22.

After kicking my mum out of the room, I told the doctor that I had been smoking. Like any sane doctor, he asked me to stop. He then asked me to open my mouth coz he needed to take a look at my swollen throat. His brows met.

Me: Is it bad?
Doc: Let’s just say I couldn’t see your tonsils. They’re covered with pus.
Me: I’ll take that as “bad.”
Doc: What have you been shoving down your throat? (Rhetorical)
Me: You have no idea.

I grinned. He snickered. Haha. Then he placed his hands on my neck, just below my jaw and started feeling my swollen whatever.

Doc: Does it hurt when you swallow?
Me: Depends on what I swallow.
Doc: Haha. What else is there to swallow other than food?
Me: I meant, it depends on whether what I swallow is hot or cold. Cold, hurts big time. Hot, doesn’t.

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NOTE: I only have used several websites that compile absurd laws as my references. There’s no way I can verify if these laws actually exist. Read at your own risk.

Laws are highly dependent on the culture of the jurisdiction. Laws in one country can be seen as idiotic by others. Differences in cultures result in differences among national and state laws.

History also plays a major part on the reason for the existence of some laws. Something might have happened in the past that led the lawmakers to come up with such policies. However, as times change, some laws fail to evolve and cope with the people’s modern way of life. Ergo, there are laws that seem so stupid and utterly foolish to us.

Often, these absurd laws have obvious explanations. For example, in France, naming your pig “Napoleon” is punishable by law. This is because France is the country of the great historical figure Napoleon Bonaparte. Napoleon is the hero of France. That’s why for the French, it is really inappropriate to name a pig “Napoleon.” It’s like someone from the Vatican naming his pig Jesus Christ or Benedict XVI.

For 12 years, chewing gums have been forbidden in Singapore. This may sound ridiculous to many but this law assures the Singaporean government of waste reduction.

Yes, there is an explanation behind every absurd law. However, some laws just sound so dumb that when you hear it, there is no way that you won’t smile, snicker or roll on the floor, laughing to death. Here are 37 of them.

The Married Life

37. In Owensboro, Kentucky, it is illegal for a woman to buy a new hat without her husband trying it on first. (How about a girly hat?)

36. In Pennsylvania, no man may purchase alcohol without written consent from his wife. (Booo! Boo! Haha)

35. In Vermont, it is illegal for women to wear false teeth without written permission from their husbands.

34. In Arkansas, a man can legally beat his wife but only once a month. (Beat her twice, you’re going to jail!)

33. In Colorado, it is illegal for men to kiss their wives on a Sunday.

32. In Hong Kong a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband’s illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired. (Ah. Justice is sweet.)

Against the Horny

31. In Iowa, it is illegal to kiss for more than five minutes. (How about 5.01 minutes, no?)

30. In Indonesia, the penalty for masturbation is decapitation. (Whew! I’m in the right Southeast Asian country! Thank God.)

29. In Washington, it is illegal to have sex with a virgin under any circumstances. (Under ANY circumstances? Really? Really?)

28. In Tremonton, Utah, no woman may have sex with a man while riding in an ambulance within the boundaries of the city. If caught, the woman can be charged with a sexual misdemeanor and “her name is to be published in the local newspaper.” The man isn’t charged nor is his name revealed.

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SEMI-FINALS

Round 1 (Judges)
1. David Cook | The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face
2. David Archuleta | And So It Goes
3. Syesha Mercado | If I Ain’t Got You

Round 2 (Contestants)
1. David Cook | Dare You to Move
2. Syesha Mercado | Fever
3. David Archuleta | With You

Round 3 (Producers)
1. David Cook | I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing
2. Syesha Mercado | Hit Me Up
3. David Archuleta | Longer

If performances tonight were the only basis, Syesha could (and should) make it to the finals. But nah, it’s gonna be a “Battle of the Davids” finale.

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Status: Ranting
Music: Pocketful of Sunshine - Natasha Bedingfield

Yogurt. Last Sunday, I woke up craving for some yogurt. Off to Mini-Stop convenience store. I grabbed a cup of strawberry-flavoured yogurt, approached the counter, opened my wallet and took out a P200-bill.

Then the cashier said, “Sir, don’t you have a smaller bill?”

I checked my pockets and looked for a smaller bill. Nadah. I pouted. Looking so apologetic, I responded, “Oh, I’m sorry, I don’t.”

She told me, “But sir, I don’t have change. You really don’t have a smaller bill, sir?”

“I really don’t. If I had any, I would’ve given it to you coz I really want this damn yogurt right now.”

“But sir, I really don’t have change.”

The conversation went on for God knows how long — the girl telling me she didn’t have change and I, telling her neither did I.

MY GAWD. IT WAS FREAKIN’ INFURIATING. I’m sure, at one point, you have experienced something like this. And I’m sure it almost made your blood hit boiling point. I mean, come on, what did she expect me to do? Put the yogurt back on the shelf and just find another store? Gawd. It’s her duty to find change, not mine. I’m a freakin’ customer — and a hungry one at that.

So what did I do? I opened the cup of yogurt in front of her and said, “I’m willing to wait.”

When someone’s lazy, I turn bitchy. And those who come between yogurt and I shall be doomed. Never EVER deprive me of yogurt.

…

This is actually just a teaser of the next list that I will publish on this blog — top 18 most annoying types of people we encounter everyday. The list is complete but if you have suggestions, hit the post comment button. They just might make them to the list. I already have 18, but I can still change it to Top 20 or something.

image courtesy davesstrawhatinn.com

I promised myself that I would devote my Sunday mornings to football (soccer). Last week, my friends Jon and Aika were with me playing at the Sunken Garden in UP Diliman. It rained but we still went on. Football in the rain. Woooh. This is the life. Haha.

I’m am not the athletic type. Certainly not. But it doesn’t mean that I have no interest in sports. I love sports. In fact, when I was in high school, I was our school paper’s Sports Editor (and Associate Editor and Layout Artist and Photojournalist). I was also my school’s representative to sport/Physical Education quiz bees, because of which I have travelled many places. In college, I was first a Sports Science major before shifting out to Film.

Although it doesn’t really show, I am madly in love with sports — especially football, tennis and bowling. I am not great (not even good) at any of them but heck, I absolutely always have fun playing.

FOOTBALL

I don’t remember exactly when I fell in love with football. I have always hated basketball and volleyball. Maybe because when I was a kid, I couldn’t play well because of my then useless left arm. So since I couldn’t move my left arm, I started kicking basketballs around the garden. I started playing futsal in grade school but I never really became good at it. It was my biggest frustration.

Then I got addicted to watching football on TV. I instantly became a Bayern Munich and Chelsea fan. During the 2002 Japan/Korea World Cup, I began admiring Miroslav Klose, who is my ultimate idol right now.

One of my most prized possessions is my Adidas 2006 Germany World Cup ball. I don’t let anyone play with it unless I’m watching. Haha. I bought it out of utter sadness after Germany lost to Italy in the semi-final match. It was darn expensive but heck, I was lonely.

Again, I’m devoting my Sunday mornings to football. So if one Sunday morning, you see someone playing football at the Sunken Garden who looks as if he doesn’t know what he’s doing, that’s probably me. Haha.

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