Miss Universe Intros
Status: Ill.
Music: Look After You | The Fray
Surprise, surprise. I’m terribly sick again. Guess what? Tonsilitis. Again. My fifth this year. Damn it. But I’m currently at a net station in Trinoma, waiting for the next screening of Get Smart. And I’m watching alone. Sick and alone. Loser. Haha.
Anyway, last week, a friend sent me a hilarious text message that really made me laugh my ass out. It was the hardest I laughed in months, it made my tonsils hurt. The joke was a compilation of lines that Miss Universe contestants enthusiastically and confidently utter when they introduce themselves. Later that night, I saw Kim Chiu use some of them on My Girl. Here they are:
- Gutom ako, gutom kayo, gutom tayong lahat… HUNGARY!
- Malay mo, malay n’ya, malay nating lahat… MALAYSIA!
- Baha doon, baha dito, baha sa buong mundo… BAHAMAS!
- One way, two way, there’s no other way… NORWAY!
- Olah viola kaserola tinola saranggola arinola ni lola… VENEZUELA!
- Hindi sakin, hindi sa’yo, kanino sya? KENYA!
- Boom! Kaboom! Kablam! AFGHANISTAN!
The Kenya and Afghanistan parts really gave me a delightful stomachache. That same night, inspired and challenged by the text message, I tried to come up with similar introductions using other countries. I sent these to a couple of friends. Here are some of them. (Warning: Some of these are based on prejudice.)
- Pak you, pak me, pak everyone… PAKISTAN!
- May sibuyas at bawang. Ano na lang ang kulang? CHILE!
- Not duck, not chicken. Definitely… TURKEY!
- Hindi tuldok, hindi kudlit. Walang iba kundi… KUWAIT!
- Para kay nanay, para kay tatay, para walang away… PARAGUAY!
- Binulgar mo, binulgar nya, magkabulgaran na… BULGARIA!
- Tama man kami o mali, tama pa rin palagi… CZECH REPUBLIC!
- Kami, laging mali… MALI!
- Ana Roces, Romnick Sarmienta, Jeffrey Santos… LAOS!
- Gaano man kalinaw mata mo, hindi mo mahahanap ang bansa ko… TUVALU!
- *ROOOAR!* MADAGASCAR!
- Holdap ‘to! Lahat kayo, hostage ko… SOMALIA!
- Pagkabilang kong tatlo, sasabog na ako… IRAQ!
Yun lang. Come on. Add some more.
image courtesy of cartoonstock.com
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On May 31, 1985, tragedy struck when 41 tornadoes hit Canada and the US, leaving 76 people dead. At the same time, a doomed couple in the Philippines were having the best orgasms of their lives. Nine months (280 days) later, a healthy baby boy was brought into this world by normal delivery. That was exactly a week before Microsoft had its initial public offering.
Today, Yoshke Dimen resides independently in Mandaluyong City. He got a degree in Film from an overrated university in Diliman but is now pursuing a career in Social Media.
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Shit, natawa ako! Seryoso, benta sakin! Hahaha! Pero hindi ko gets yung sa Tuvalu. Nabobo ako doon. Haha.
aright, i must admit that the tuvalu part is kinda lame. haha. Basta. Tumawa ka na lang ng bonggang bongga. Hehe.
PANALO! Tangina you made my day! Hahahahaha!
)
psst. bawal magmura dito! CHOS! hahaha
Sangla ATM mo sakin kung di ka bayad… INDIA
Chong koi la, chichinichongkoi la a butsekek ek ek ek… CHINA
Ang sikip naman dito… VIRGIN ISLANDS
Quasimodo, Kampanerang…CUBA
Wla lang… singit lang NEPAL kasi
LOL sa Virgin Islands! hahaha
get well soon…. =)
napa smile mo ako.
waaaaw. sige, papagaling ako for you. CHOS! salamat sa pagdaan ulit!
Flirt!
ulul, joke lang yun.
haha
hala! 5x na tonsilitis for dis yr.?? grabe.. anu yan every month?? akla ko mrami na yung akin (3x for this year) pro kabog pla ako sau. hehe..
kulit ng entry mo.. laugh trip tlga!.. wahehe.. iba pla nga2wa ng pagkakaskit mo noh.. hehe.. kip it up! pagaling ka ;D
yah, almost every month. Nung February lang hinde.
hindi naman siguro to epekto ng sakit ko. haha. i was well when i came up with these.
ako rin meron tonsilitis ngayon… i think 2nd or 3rd na for this year. grabe ang sakit
pak you! pak me! pak everyone!!! pakistan!!!! hahahaha
PAK OUR TONSILS!
hahaha nag-inuman kami ng friends ko kagabi and medyo nalasing rin kaya naihirit ko tuloy “pak you pak me pak everyone pakistan!”
hahahaha at lumala rin tonsilitis ko haha laklak kasi ng laklak ng cold berrr
honga. bawal kaya ang alcohol pag may tonsilitis. haha
hahaha panalo to!!! naaliw ako sa bulgaria, kuwait at chile…
sana meron pa!!!
wala na. korni na e, pag dinagdagan. haha.
hehehe, ikalat mo din sa text mo ung inembento mo, ung may copy right. LOL
hindi ako ma-text na tao masyado eh. hehe. haha.
HAYLABET!!! yoshke! magdinner naman tayo nila david. kamooon
sige lang, no prob. iset mo. tas sabihan mo lang ako kung kelan.
Ana Roces, Romnick Sarmienta, Jeffrey Santos… LAOS!
Ahahahaha. Pwedeeeeeeeeee!
Pak you, pak me, pak everyone… PAKISTAN!
-winar. haha.
eto yung kauna-unahan kong naisip after mareceive ko yung message.
waaaaah kizay, ahmishu!
ES DIMENIC! Mishu too!!!^^
Tama man kami o mali, tama pa rin palagi… CZECH REPUBLIC!
natawa ako dito, di ko ineexpect. ahahaaa
\.X”Parang naiinggit ang mga boys/men kung pinagbibigyan nila ang kanilang G.F. na kantiin ako.”;]ieie:)/-*.|
I’m Cheekee cheekee, Chikeenini, Chikchikana from China!!!
Mula sa bayang kulang ang bigas
Sandamakmak ang mandurugas
Pilipinas!!
in fairness ha, haha, natawa ako dito.
|.By:Ana R. Amorsolo,XAna Roces=marinella adad-montenegro;]Xrb(i)log;]XRSSフィード [?];]Xmiss universe intros-yoshke.com,ieie:)/=*.|
WII nintendoｹﾞｰﾑ乃困問題ﾄﾞｳｽﾙ？ﾌｶﾏﾙｻﾝｼｽﾃﾑ泣ｸﾅﾁｱｳ,ｿﾞ？？海任ﾆ.
Kapampangan po ba kayo? hehe
Kasi ibig sabihin ng “TUVALU” sa kapampangan ay “EWAN KO”
“arigatou,saito.”
Beep beep beep, ang sabi ng..EGYPT!