Exactly a month ago, I was staying at my brother’s room, watching Pushing Daisies (oh, Lee Pace is just sooo cute I wanna be dead and be touched by him), when my mother came in and said she wanted to talk. Something that never fails to send me to utter discomfort.

Mum: You told your Tita Esther you wanted to study in London?

Tita Esther is my mum’s friend who has just arrived from London. She visited last week and we kinda had a little chat and I kinda told her how much I wanted to study abroad.

Yoshke: Uhm, Er, I might have told her. Yuh.
Mum: You really want to?
Yoshke: Uhm, yeah, a bit.
Mum: Well, you may. I’m letting you.

Hmmm. That was a shocker. Something didn’t sound right. There’s a catch, I thought. There must be.

Yoshke: Seriously?
Mum: Yes. Once you find a school, I’ll be shouldering your fare and first sem’s tuition.
Yoshke: And?
Mum: No “and.” You’ll be on your own.
Yoshke: On my own? What do you mean “on my own?”
Mum: Use your savings for your expenses, which means, you’ll also have to work there. If you want to continue school, you’ll have to find a job. And you can only stay up to three months at Esther’s. Get your own flat. And until you have your Master’s degree, don’t bother coming home.

So there’s the catch. My mum certainly didn’t want me to go. Ergo, the don’t-bother-coming-home part. The whole thing was an inconspicuous way of brainwashing me out of living abroad. Reverse psychology with a little bit of blackmail.

To be honest, it got me thinking for several nights. I really want to get a degree from a school overseas but the offer would clearly be a huge gamble. As much as I love taking risks and embarking on adventures, I surely will not gamble all the money I saved since I started working two years ago. And it’s not just the money. I’m risking my entire life if I accept it.

I told my mum to give me a month to think about it.

Tomorrow night, I’m giving her my final decision. I guess I’m sticking to my becoming-a-diplomat plan. Less uncertain.

*images courtesy of stephenwiltshire.co.uk

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