Awkward

THE MAN IN THE OFFICE RESTROOM

Last Thursday, I entered the washroom but the two urinals were already taken so I figured I’d just use a cubicle. As I was walking towards the stalls, I accidentally knocked over a Starbucks tumbler sitting on the sink. It didn’t hit the floor but it made a loud noise still. One of the guys at the urinals turned to my direction.

OMG. OMG. OMG.

It was the cute guy I always see in the same restroom almost every day. I had told my officemate about him a number of times. There was a guy that for some strange reason, whenever I enter the men’s room, he’s always there. Coincidence. And my colleague would ask if he was cute and I would just smile.

Anyway, that tumbler, apparently, belonged to the cute guy. He gave me a strange look it made me so uneasy. And I muttered “Err, sorry.”

He would not look away, throwing me that, uhm, sexy (hihi) look. So I said again, “Uhm, sorry….”

He said it was OK. I handed him his tumbler and went into the cube. But before I could shut the door, he was able to half-enter the cube and said, “Hey, where’s your office?”

WTF?! Haha. I had never felt my bladder swell that way. “I’m sorry?” was my confused answer. I wasn’t sure I heard it right.

“Where’s your office? Where dya work?”

“703,” I replied.

He said something else but I knew that if I continued talking with him, I might be hurting someone I didn’t wanna lose. Besides, I really, really, REALLY gotta pee.

Before he could finish introducing himself and say his next interrogative sentence, I slammed the door on him. Well, not really “slammed.” Just closed it…. Fine! I slammed it. A little.

I haven’t seem him again since then. Maybe later. Haha. Kidding.

THE MAN ON THE TRAIN

A text conversation with Andre, one of my dearest friends, while I was embracing the almost innocuous discomfort that comes with the great sea of humanity on the MRT.

Yoshke: Hey Andre, you have plans for tonight? Let’s have dinner! Makati?
Andre: Oh, I’m meeting a friend here sa South. Sowee.
Yoshke: It’s alright. I texted Dane rin naman. We’ll have dinner together na lang.
Andre: Dane?! I’m losing track of your boys, Yoshke! Haha.
Yoshke: Dane. My housemate. You’ve met HER.
Andre: Aaaah. Akala ko another guy na naman.
Yoshke: Andre, right now, R%^# is the only guy I know, K?
Andre: Aaaw. Taraaay. I lovet!
Yoshke: Iba kasi ako magmahal no. Joke! Haha.
Andre: Pano? Carino brutal? Haha.
Yoshke: Why do I have this feeling that this conversation will lead to S&M (sadomasochism)?
Andre: Because you’re horny!
Yoshke: OMG, Andre! Yung katapat ko dito sa train is sooo hot. And siksikan sa train. His arm is on my chest. My face, almost on his shoulder.
Andre: OMG! Maputi? (Andre loves men with fair complexion.)
Yoshke: Kakulay ko.
Andre: OMG! Wetness.
Yoshke: Haha. And his chin and jaws are carpeted with uhm facial hair. Yeeeh. Kaso hindi sya mabango, ‘dre.
Andre: OK lang yan. At least, hindi sya mabaho!

And then I realised… Whatever happened to “R$%$ is the only guy I know”? Hahaha.

But seriously, R&^#W% is the only guy I know. I have banished everyone else out of my head.

THE MAN AT THE CAFE

“Why me?”

You said in a serious tone. And there I was thinking, nothing could be more awkward than our current set up. We were at the corner table at the Coffee Bean in Gateway. My chair was taller than yours and it was kinda irking me.

“Why me?”

If I didn’t know you better, I’d say you were fishing. But you’re not that kind. You don’t fish.

All I could say was a groundbreaking “I dunno.” I took another sip of my Guava whatever juice.

“Seriously. Back in Ateneo, there were other guys there and they were goodlooking. Why me?”

I began searching for an answer and I thought I knew where to look. I looked at your eyes, no, not your eyes. Your eyes aren’t the reason, I thought. Your hair, no, not your hair. Not your smile, either. Not the way you move nor the way you talk. I couldn’t find the answer so I just uttered a number of I-dunno‘s with uhms and errs in between.

I added, “But when I first saw you at that gathering in Ateneo, I told myself I gotta have you. I just knew right then that I wanted you. I dunno why and it doesn’t matter.”

You didn’t say anything.

I wonder if I could ever give you an answer that would suffice. Or any answer at all. I doubt it.

Because sometimes, it’s the things that we don’t know that keep us going — the future, Heaven, God. The Uncertain is the foundation of faith. And I have faith in myself that I will do anything to not lose you. Even though I can’t give you a reason.

I will never flirt with that cute guy in the office restroom. Or with any hot guy on the train. You never asked me to do this. But I want to. I want you, only you. And please don’t ask me why.

I just know.

image courtesy of themaskedblogger.com

Allow Me to Be Emo

And just like that, it all comes crashing down. And my one dream is shattered. As shattered as I am now.

If you wanna be friends with me, I’m telling you, now is the best time.

I’m OK now. You see, I move on easily. Haha. Over it.

Top 25 Local TV Shows I Miss:
Youth-Oriented Shows, Etc

I grouped the programmes by genre. So the rankings don’t really matter. Ehehe. Sa batch na ‘to, yung talk shows, drama anthologies, and youth-oriented shows.

25. MAGANDANG GABI, BAYAN!

As my friend Dam-dam pointed out, there were two things that really made this show very, very interesting and enjoyable.

Halloween Special. As in. I swear, magkamatayan na tayo but I would not miss their Halloween episode. It was just sinisterly spooky. The reenactments were desperately haunting I couldn’t understand why I would always want to watch it even if I knew that I would be so totally afraid to be alone in the days to come. Tipong ihing-ihi ka na, ayaw mo pa rin mag-wiwi kasi nakakatakot. Grabe lang yung “black lady na nangangalampag ng pinto.” Hanggang ngayon she stars as the lead in my nightmares.

New Year Special. To quote Dam-dam, “yung New Year’s episode nila na pinapakita ang mga naputukan, naputulan ng kamay at tinamaan ng bala. Walang panama ang Grey’s Anatomy at ER sa masabaw na dugo na take note, walang konsepto ng blur at pixel.”

24. ALAS SINGKO Y MEDIA

“Alas singko y media na, paboritong palabas ko sa umaga. Halina’t gumising na. Tayo na’t manood ng Alas singko y media.” Hihi,

Missing alas singko y media is almost tantamount to missing my childhood. The show was a significant part of my life then — a part of my routine. Tumututok ako dito while getting ready for school. Peborit ko ang traffic report ni Aida Gonzales kahit na taga-Batangas ako at wala namang kinalaman saken kung traffic sa Maynila (eh traffic naman araw-araw pag umaga, paulit-ulit lang yung report nila.) And I would wait until Cheryl Cosim had done the weather forecast (I was in love with her) before I would finally turn the TV off and leave for school. And I witnessed the Julius-Tintin love story blossom. Yeeeh.

23. MORNING GIRLS WITH KRIS AND KORINA

What I loooved about Morning Girls with Kris and Korina was that unlike many of our talk shows back then (and even today), they actually got to talk sensibly. At first, I thought their tandem would not work. But boy was I so wrong. Kris’s chismosa-factor blended well with Korina’s ruthless criticisms, all against a Talk TV backdrop. My fave segment was K2K, where the hosts comment on the various issues that bannered most newspapers. Kung sana ganito ang mga local talk shows natin ngayon, eh di masaya manood ng TV. But noooo, just look at Sis! It’s a frakkin’ circus!

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Don’t We Just Love the MRT?

Except, of course, when it’s so crowded and you feel like you’re having an orgy. Just that it’s the kind of orgy you don’t like.

Not that I like orgies.

Of course, I don’t like orgies.

Eeew. The thought.

Anyway, I can still remember this one time in November last year that I was aboard the MRT. This was before they discovered the wonders of prerecorded announcements with pesky Chowking ads. Approaching San Juan Station, the train had just left Cubao. It was a very quiet but rather packed 7am ride. And then the MRT operator broke the silence.

H’wag po tayong sumandal sa mga pinto. Dumiretso lang po tayo sa gitna. Manatili lang po tayong nakahawak sa mga mandurukot…

Anu daw?!? Haha. Everyone was trying their best not to laugh. But they couldn’t. All I could mutter was “Manong, gumising ka! Gumising ka!”

I overheard a woman sport a cheerful mockery. “Nasan daw ang mandurukot? Hawakan daw natin at baka makatakas.”

When I told Jon about this, he shared his very own MRT ride-turned-Wow Mali episode. Again, starring our friendly neighbourhood MRT operator.

Ayala Station, Ayala Station…

…ay lagpas na pala… Buendia Station, Buendia Station….

Ain’t the MRT fun?

image courtesy of Benny Yap of Flickr

How My Friends See Me II:
“Mastering” Vanilla Sex?

What’s wrong with my friends?

They’ve been so very imaginative lately; they’re accusing me of things. Things that are, well, pretty amusing. Very recently, they, albeit separately, came up with an interesting theory. More like a guess, actually.

ROBIN

While malling. A few months ago.

Robin: I kinda miss the “bossy” you.
Yoshke: Hey, I was never bossy.
Robin: You were. You are. It’s just today that you seem to be not that.
Yoshke: Must be the weather.
Robin: What about the weather?
Yoshke: Humid. Makes me feel sleepy.
Robin: I bet you’re also bossy in bed.
Yoshke: OMG. If I didn’t know you better, I’d think you were hitting on me.
Robin: Ass. It was a neutral question! I just wanna know if you boss your partner around…
Yoshke: Hmmm. So you really wanna know? Haha.
Robin: That’s not what I meant, Dimen.
Yoshke: Then, you’ll never know.
Robin: But really, something tells me you’re into S&M (sadomasochism, sadism and masochism, slave and master).
Yoshke: (bonggang bonggang LOL)
Robin: So, are you?
Yoshke: You’ll never know.

JT

After watching the hilarious 3D animation “Igor” (starring my fave John Cusack)

You see, most hunchbacked assistants to evil scientists in many celebrated literary and film works (Dracula, Frankenstein, etc) are named Igor.

The movie Igor is sooo entertaining that even after seeing it, JT, Klara, Dohna, Chino and I couldn’t shake it off. When I was finally home, I texted JT.

Yoshke: Igor, you home na?
JT: Yes, master. I’ll pull the switch.
Yoshke: Ah JT, stop impersonating Igor. It’s turning me on. JOKE LANG.
JT: Really? Joke daw.
Yoshke: Haha. Bahala ka. You really think I’m into S&M?
JT: Pwede. So what role do you play?
Yoshke: I won’t answer that question.
JT: You don’t have to. I think I know, Mr. Power.
Yoshke: Hahaha. I won’t confirm or deny anything.

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Top 10 Interesting Facts About Dreams

When I decided I would write about this several months ago, I did some research. Apparently, several other websites have similar lists. So I compiled what I found very interesting. Hmmm. Anyway, let me still post my version.

Dreams always catch the attention of experts. It is the subject of many studies, trying to uncover everything about it. However, no matter how much they try, they can only give us so much information about dreams. They are still poorly understood, making them intriguing and fascinating. Although we are yet to learn more about dreams, here are ten interesting facts about them that the experts have uncovered.

10. Dreams are symbolic.

Most often, dreaming about a certain subject doesn’t mean that the dream is about that. For example, if you dream about a particular chicken your neighbour takes care of, how likely is it that the dream you just had is about that chicken? You can’t be in love with that chicken, can you? Dreams use a very symbolic language that can be very difficult to comprehend. This is because the unconscious mind attempts to compare the dream to something similar.

If you dream of something that bothers you, don’t expect anyone else to interpret it but you. Only you can decipher the code that your dreams give you. The things we dream about are often symbols for objects, places, people and experiences we have encountered or emotions we have felt. Dream dictionaries may help you but the meaning is specific to an individual.

9. Things around us while we sleep become part of our dreams.

Scientifically called “dream incorporation,” our mind interprets the external stimuli that our senses are bombarded with when we are asleep and make them a part of our dreams. This means that sometimes, in our dreams, we hear a sound from reality and incorporate it in a way.

For example, you may have heard a fire alarm in your dream, when in reality, your alarm clock just went off. Sometimes, what our bodies feel is also incorporated. For instance, you may have dreamt that you were drowning when in fact, you were just thirsty and your body desperately needs water.

8. Dreams prevent you from losing your mind.

Dreaming is not just a free movie your brain gives you after a long tiring day. It is actually essential for mental health. Believe it or not, dreams can prevent psychosis and schizophrenia. In a sleep study, students awakened at the beginning of a dream but still allowed to get eight hours of sleep suffered from irritability, lack of concentration, hallucinations and signs of psychosis after three days. Finally, when they are allowed their REM sleep, their brains increased the percentage of REM sleep tremendously. Having inadequate dream activity is also a sign of protein deficiency and a personality problem.

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