How My Friends See Me II:
“Mastering” Vanilla Sex?

Sunday October 12, 2008 17:39 | 2,453 views

What’s wrong with my friends?

They’ve been so very imaginative lately; they’re accusing me of things. Things that are, well, pretty amusing. Very recently, they, albeit separately, came up with an interesting theory. More like a guess, actually.

ROBIN

While malling. A few months ago.

Robin: I kinda miss the “bossy” you.
Yoshke: Hey, I was never bossy.
Robin: You were. You are. It’s just today that you seem to be not that.
Yoshke: Must be the weather.
Robin: What about the weather?
Yoshke: Humid. Makes me feel sleepy.
Robin: I bet you’re also bossy in bed.
Yoshke: OMG. If I didn’t know you better, I’d think you were hitting on me.
Robin: Ass. It was a neutral question! I just wanna know if you boss your partner around…
Yoshke: Hmmm. So you really wanna know? Haha.
Robin: That’s not what I meant, Dimen.
Yoshke: Then, you’ll never know.
Robin: But really, something tells me you’re into S&M (sadomasochism, sadism and masochism, slave and master).
Yoshke: (bonggang bonggang LOL)
Robin: So, are you?
Yoshke: You’ll never know.

JT

After watching the hilarious 3D animation “Igor” (starring my fave John Cusack)

You see, most hunchbacked assistants to evil scientists in many celebrated literary and film works (Dracula, Frankenstein, etc) are named Igor.

The movie Igor is sooo entertaining that even after seeing it, JT, Klara, Dohna, Chino and I couldn’t shake it off. When I was finally home, I texted JT.

Yoshke: Igor, you home na?
JT: Yes, master. I’ll pull the switch.
Yoshke: Ah JT, stop impersonating Igor. It’s turning me on. JOKE LANG.
JT: Really? Joke daw.
Yoshke: Haha. Bahala ka. You really think I’m into S&M?
JT: Pwede. So what role do you play?
Yoshke: I won’t answer that question.
JT: You don’t have to. I think I know, Mr. Power.
Yoshke: Hahaha. I won’t confirm or deny anything.

BEBS

After my panel interview at the DFA, I met up with Bebs, Dohna, Lei, Jed and JT at A Veneto at the Trinoma Mall

Out of thin air, Bebs brought up the concept of “Vanilla Sex.” And spontaneously pointed at me as he was uttering the words.

Yoshke: Sorry, what is “vanilla” sex?
Bebs: Vanilla. Plain. Dull. Boring.
Yoshke: Hey, I love vanilla! And it’s not boring at all. It’s the world’s most popular ice cream flavour!
Bebs: But that’s what “vanilla sex” means.
Yoshke: So Bebs, since your sexlife is not “vanilla,” what are you into? Uhm, orgies? S&M? Bondage? Fisting (haha)?
Bebs: NONE! Eeeeeew.
Yoshke: And there you are accusing ME of having vanilla sex when it’s you who isn’t into anything!?
Bebs: Why? What are you into?
Yoshke: Nothing!
Bebs: I think you have tendencies…
Yoshke: Tendencies to…?
Bebs: Tendencies to engage in S&M!
Yoshke: LOL. S&M!? You serious? And what role d’ya reckon I’d play?
Bebs: Master!

…

I don’t know why they think of me like that, but come on. I look like a college freshman. I am not macho at all. My features are very boyish. What makes them think I’d engage in S&M stuff. And a “master” at that. Wahaha.