Dirty Fruits and Veggies
Monday March 30, 2009 15:33 | 2,276 views

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In the movie and TV industry, it is common for people to use metaphors when talking about things that we should not talk about (or at least, that’s what MTRCB says). So to avoid vulgarities, people use vegetables to refer to body parts that must not be named. Talong for male genitalia. Pechay for female.
I know one director whose 6-years-old daughter had been so immersed to the culture of movie production that the kid would often hear the word “pechay” when the adults were talking about the vagina.
One day, straight from school, the daughter exclaimed, “Ma, yung pechay pala ay gulay din?!?”
Sabi tuloy ng friend ko, “Shet, nung pinagkulay kaya sila ng teacher nila ng pechay, malamang pink yung kinulay nun! Or black!” Wahaha.
…
Walking from Robinson Forum’s lane of food stalls, my officemates Maik, Aiza, and I compared what we would be having for lunch. Maik got his lunch from Mang Porky’s. I got mine from Choice Burgers.
Yoshke: Oh, when did they start adding bananas to their meals?
Maik: Recently. Perhaps they noticed that Choice Burgers were doing really good so they just had to imitate.
Yoshke: Yeah. Maybe.
Maik: But I think the bananas they have are longer.
Yoshke: Oh? Let’s check.
I whipped out my banana while Maik took his out. I held my banana up in the air and Maik placed his beside mine. Aiza butted in.
Aiza: Grabe! Dito pa talaga kayo nagpahabaan ng saging nyo!
Sorry lang. Ilegal na ba magsukatan ng saging ngayon?!
(Pahabol, mine was longer.
)
…
A conversation over lunch. Esan was eyeing Kat’s banana. Kat was a little reluctant to give it to Esan.
Esan: Anong saging yan?
Mads: Lacatan. Lacatan yan, di ba?
Yoshke: Yep. Lacatan yan.
Esan:Mas gusto ko yung isang klase.
Mads: Baka latundan?
Esan: Ano yung latundan?
Yoshke: Ang alam ko yung mas maputi yung laman tapos mas maliit.
Esan: Ah yun nga yung gusto ko!
Yoshke: Yung gusto ko ay senorita.
Mads: Anliit naman!
Esan: Pero pinakamasarap yung saba!
Mads: (weirded out) Hala, saba. Yung panluto? Yung nilalaga?
Esan: Oo. Masarap yun. Kahit hindi niluto, masarap yun.
Yoshke: Masarap naman talaga ang saba. Masakit lang.
WTF?!
…
Three years ago, when Andre and I were still housemates in Teachers’ Village.
Yoshke: Di ba, you’ve been colonized na? How do you handle it? Doesn’t it hurt?
Andre: It hurts, alright. Especially at first. But one should get used to it.
Yoshke: So how does one get used to something like that?
Andre: Well, that’s what the veggies in the refrigerator are for.
He even mentioned the levels of difficulty — saging >> talong >> pipino >> upo.
Upo?!?!?! Wahahahaha.
(Andre was kidding, by the way.)
*images courtesy of quickblogcast.com, heavypetal.ca
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- Category: Conversations, Humor
- (37) Comments


geek
señorita…my paboritong saging too….
Kevinq
Ako din favorite ko ung señorita. Malasa kasi siya compared sa ibang saging.
Yoshke
MGA GAYA-GAYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Wahahaha
Kevin
Oist hindi ako gaya-gaya ah! Bata pa lang ako, un na favorite ko. Although hinahanap ko din minsan ung saba. Masarap din kasi pag malaki eh. Hehehehe.
Yoshke
Waaaah, bakit pag ikaw ang nagsasabi, malaswa talaga pakinggan!
Haha, angkapal ko, parang pag ako eh hinde. =))
Kevin
Por dat, I hate you na. Hahahaha
herbs
ansarap talaga ng saging. langya. i miss et
LOL @ pp Pepper. lol
Yoshke
andami kayang saging sa palengke! dali, bili na!
VinS
Masarap yung Latondan, lalo na after meals.
Pag merienda, Nilagang Saba o kaya naman Banana Q
Yoshke
Oooh, mahilig ka din pala sa saba Vins. ehehehehehe
ced
masarap ako! ahehehe. joke lang!
i’m back na nga pala!
hello andre!
Yoshke
Haha, kumusta naman ang “Masarap ako!” Haha.
Andre! Masarap daw si Ced! Tikman na yan!
ced
ahahaha, may ibang nang tumitikim e! hahaha
ang laswa ah! hahahaha
noah
ay naku, bakit ba talaga SIKAT ang mga SAGING???
haha.
sa bahay, pag meron, di kinakain, pag wala na, hinahanaphanap.
grabe.
Yoshke
WAHAHA. Taenamu Noah, tawang tawa ako. haha.
Na-miss ko tuloy si B1 and B2. Hinahanap-hanap ko na ngayon, dati hindi ko pinapansin. haha
Kevinq
(Pahabol, mine was longer.
)
>>>Weh? Patingin nga! LOL
Yoshke
Hahaha. Ulul.
Kevin
Wah?! What did I say?!
gilbert
i’ll never look at saging na saba the same way again… lolz
Yoshke
SOrry naman. Haha. Natrauma ka ba?
ron
natry na yata lahat ni andre..haha!…tapos sabay luto nung mga gulay! hahaha!
Yoshke
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!
Joms
Uy! Gusto ko yang Colonize na yan. Para lang yan yung term namin na Orbital Bombardment. Hahaha.
Yoshke
Orbital bombardment *pahid ng ilong* haha
samjuan
I miss Philippine sagings. American sagings taste different. Anudaw? Hahaha.
Kevin
I bet you’re not talking about the edible saging. Hahaha
Yoshke
Aye aye kev.
deejay
“Masarap naman talaga ang saba. Masakit lang.”
nyahaha!
and i think you just ruined the word “colonize” for me. wahaha!
happy april fools yoshke!
Yoshke
Happy April Fools Deejay!
andreEeEe
Hello din ced!
Oh Gaaad, Yoshke. I dont recall saying that! Thats a long long looong time ago! Anyhoo, I miss our old house. Haaay, good times… Napadaan ako dun a few weeks back, ang ganda na niya. Bago na pintura! Hehe.
Yoshke
Wag na magdeny!
True, I miss our old house, too.
Jinjiruks Ikari
Yoshke: Masarap naman talaga ang saba. Masakit lang.
-haha. nakakain knba ng saba yoshke? masakit sa lalamunan talaga iyon pag kinain mo nang buo.
Yoshke
Gusto ko banana con yelo!
Maki
Na-try niyo na ba yung kambal na saging? Yung saging na parang siamese twins? I bet mas masakit yun.
Barry
panalo ang pics! lol
edz
hehe astig to ahh
The Lady in Green Ruffles
Yoshke: Masarap naman talaga ang saba. Masakit lang.
i doubt that andre is kidding..ahaha