Dirty Fruits and Veggies

In the movie and TV industry, it is common for people to use metaphors when talking about things that we should not talk about (or at least, that’s what MTRCB says). So to avoid vulgarities, people use vegetables to refer to body parts that must not be named. Talong for male genitalia. Pechay for female.

I know one director whose 6-years-old daughter had been so immersed to the culture of movie production that the kid would often hear the word “pechay” when the adults were talking about the vagina.

One day, straight from school, the daughter exclaimed, “Ma, yung pechay pala ay gulay din?!?

Sabi tuloy ng friend ko, “Shet, nung pinagkulay kaya sila ng teacher nila ng pechay, malamang pink yung kinulay nun! Or black!” Wahaha.

Walking from Robinson Forum’s lane of food stalls, my officemates Maik, Aiza, and I compared what we would be having for lunch. Maik got his lunch from Mang Porky’s. I got mine from Choice Burgers.

Yoshke: Oh, when did they start adding bananas to their meals?
Maik: Recently. Perhaps they noticed that Choice Burgers were doing really good so they just had to imitate.
Yoshke: Yeah. Maybe.
Maik: But I think the bananas they have are longer.
Yoshke: Oh? Let’s check.

I whipped out my banana while Maik took his out. I held my banana up in the air and Maik placed his beside mine. Aiza butted in.

Aiza: Grabe! Dito pa talaga kayo nagpahabaan ng saging nyo!

Sorry lang. Ilegal na ba magsukatan ng saging ngayon?!

(Pahabol, mine was longer.  :D )

A conversation over lunch. Esan was eyeing Kat’s banana. Kat was a little reluctant to give it to Esan.

Esan: Anong saging yan?
Mads: Lacatan. Lacatan yan, di ba?
Yoshke: Yep. Lacatan yan.
Esan:Mas gusto ko yung isang klase.
Mads: Baka latundan?
Esan: Ano yung latundan?
Yoshke: Ang alam ko yung mas maputi yung laman tapos mas maliit.
Esan: Ah yun nga yung gusto ko!
Yoshke: Yung gusto ko ay senorita.
Mads: Anliit naman!
Esan: Pero pinakamasarap yung saba!
Mads: (weirded out) Hala, saba. Yung panluto? Yung nilalaga?
Esan: Oo. Masarap yun. Kahit hindi niluto, masarap yun.
Yoshke: Masarap naman talaga ang saba. Masakit lang.

WTF?!

Three years ago, when Andre and I were still housemates in Teachers’ Village.

Yoshke: Di ba, you’ve been colonized na? How do you handle it? Doesn’t it hurt?
Andre: It hurts, alright. Especially at first. But one should get used to it.
Yoshke: So how does one get used to something like that?
Andre: Well, that’s what the veggies in the refrigerator are for.

He even mentioned the levels of difficulty — saging >> talong >> pipino >> upo.

Upo?!?!?! Wahahahaha.

(Andre was kidding, by the way.)
*images courtesy of  quickblogcast.com, heavypetal.ca

 

Viewed 1118 times by 336 visitors this month

If you liked this post, you might want to check out:

Subscribe to Yoshke.com and receive updates when there is a new post!

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner


Posted on by Yoshke in Conversations, Humor

37 Responses to Dirty Fruits and Veggies

  1. geek

    señorita…my paboritong saging too….

    • Kevinq

      Ako din favorite ko ung señorita. Malasa kasi siya compared sa ibang saging.

    • Yoshke

      MGA GAYA-GAYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Wahahaha

      • Kevin

        Oist hindi ako gaya-gaya ah! Bata pa lang ako, un na favorite ko. Although hinahanap ko din minsan ung saba. Masarap din kasi pag malaki eh. Hehehehe. :D

      • Yoshke

        Waaaah, bakit pag ikaw ang nagsasabi, malaswa talaga pakinggan!

        Haha, angkapal ko, parang pag ako eh hinde. =))

        • Kevin

          Por dat, I hate you na. Hahahaha

  2. herbs

    ansarap talaga ng saging. langya. i miss et

    LOL @ pp Pepper. lol

    • Yoshke

      andami kayang saging sa palengke! dali, bili na!

  3. VinS

    Masarap yung Latondan, lalo na after meals.
    Pag merienda, Nilagang Saba o kaya naman Banana Q

    • Yoshke

      Oooh, mahilig ka din pala sa saba Vins. ehehehehehe

  4. ced

    masarap ako! ahehehe. joke lang!
    i’m back na nga pala!

    hello andre!

    • Yoshke

      Haha, kumusta naman ang “Masarap ako!” Haha.

      Andre! Masarap daw si Ced! Tikman na yan!

      • ced

        ahahaha, may ibang nang tumitikim e! hahaha

        ang laswa ah! hahahaha

  5. noah

    ay naku, bakit ba talaga SIKAT ang mga SAGING???

    haha.

    sa bahay, pag meron, di kinakain, pag wala na, hinahanaphanap.

    grabe.

    • Yoshke

      WAHAHA. Taenamu Noah, tawang tawa ako. haha.

      Na-miss ko tuloy si B1 and B2. Hinahanap-hanap ko na ngayon, dati hindi ko pinapansin. haha

  6. Kevinq

    (Pahabol, mine was longer. :D )

    >>>Weh? Patingin nga! LOL

  7. gilbert

    i’ll never look at saging na saba the same way again… lolz

    • Yoshke

      SOrry naman. Haha. Natrauma ka ba? :P

  8. ron

    natry na yata lahat ni andre..haha!…tapos sabay luto nung mga gulay! hahaha!

  9. Joms

    Uy! Gusto ko yang Colonize na yan. Para lang yan yung term namin na Orbital Bombardment. Hahaha.

    • Yoshke

      Orbital bombardment *pahid ng ilong* haha

  10. samjuan

    I miss Philippine sagings. American sagings taste different. Anudaw? Hahaha.

    • Kevin

      I bet you’re not talking about the edible saging. Hahaha

    • Yoshke

      Aye aye kev.

  11. deejay

    “Masarap naman talaga ang saba. Masakit lang.”

    nyahaha!

    and i think you just ruined the word “colonize” for me. wahaha!

    happy april fools yoshke! :D

  12. andreEeEe

    Hello din ced!

    Oh Gaaad, Yoshke. I dont recall saying that! Thats a long long looong time ago! Anyhoo, I miss our old house. Haaay, good times… Napadaan ako dun a few weeks back, ang ganda na niya. Bago na pintura! Hehe.

    • Yoshke

      Wag na magdeny!

      True, I miss our old house, too.

  13. Jinjiruks Ikari

    Yoshke: Masarap naman talaga ang saba. Masakit lang.

    -haha. nakakain knba ng saba yoshke? masakit sa lalamunan talaga iyon pag kinain mo nang buo.

  14. Maki

    Na-try niyo na ba yung kambal na saging? Yung saging na parang siamese twins? I bet mas masakit yun. :)

  15. Barry

    panalo ang pics! lol

  16. edz

    hehe astig to ahh

  17. The Lady in Green Ruffles

    Yoshke: Masarap naman talaga ang saba. Masakit lang.

    i doubt that andre is kidding..ahaha

Add a Comment

More in Conversations, Humor (43 of 104 articles)


When I was young, my mum and my sister fed me ideas that I ingested and digested until I realized I had been Punk'd. Wag ka lulunok ng buto ng santol, tutubo yan sa loob ng katawan mo. I understand the intention. But hey, I actually bought that. I even went telling my classmates about it and discouraged them ...