Typical Andre

A TYPICAL TEXT MESSAGE FROM ANDRE

Just when I thought I had escaped the z00-reminiscent insanity of my friends for the holidays, I received a message like this:

“Waaa. Kumusta naman yung nagdeliver ako ng ham. Sabi nung customer ‘Thank you.‘ Ang sinagot ko ‘Good luck.’ Wahaha. Ang tanga ko lang.”

Wahaha, agree, agree.

A TYPICAL YAHOO! MESSENGER CHAT WITH ANDRE (December 22, 2008)

Andre: Youre not going anywhere naman tonight di ba?
Yoshke: Nope
Andre: Raincheck daw
Yoshke: Huwaaaaat?  si Jerwin?
Andre: Yeah. May sakit
Yoshke: I invited Patti pa naman
Andre: Sa Saturday nalang
Yoshke: Ah aright, kayo na lang
Andre: EEEEEH!!!! Anubaa?
Yoshke: Batangas na ko nun
Andre: Kelan ka balik?
Yoshke:  January 2
Andre: Eeeeeeeeeh
Andre: Yoshke naman ehhhhhhhhhhhh
Andre: YOSHKEEEEEE
Andre: Balik ka dali naaaaaaaaaaa
Andre: Pls plsplspls pls puhleeeeeez
Yoshke: Hindi pede, alangan namang lumuwas ako ng Maynila para lang mag-Sidebar. kumusta yun?
Andre: NO! babalik ka ng maynila to spend the holiday with your friends! it just so happened that the friends are at Sidebar!
Yoshke: I have a family to give a little lovin-lovin to.
Andre:  But we are also your familyyy. Isang araw lang naman ang hinihingi namin sayo.
Yoshke: Oo nga, isang araw lang.  isang maling araw.
Andre: Ah sige. Gusto mo dalawa? Eh di dalawang araw!
Yoshke: Dalawang maling araw, mas hindi pede, bakla kaaa.
Andre: I’ll make you a good deal… Punta ka dito sa sabado. Sidebar tayo. Then the next day, dalhin mo kami sa Tagaytay.
Yoshke. Wahahahahaha….  NO!
Andre: O, maganda yan ha
Yoshke: Hindi ah, dehado ako dun
Andre : Parang hinatid ka na rin namin sa lemery nun
Yoshke: TOMORROW na lang kasi!
Andre: Eeeeeeeh Saturdaaaaaay na lang
Yoshke: Eeeeeh. Dont Saturday me
Andre: Please please please. I’m down on my knees. Begging you please.  Wait, anong kanta yun?
Yoshke: “On Bended Knee” ng Boys 2 Men.
Andre: Haha corek! Ang galing mo talaga. Dahil dyan, balik ka sa Saturday
Yoshke: Andre, stop me! Tigilan ako. wahaha
Andre: Yoshke, Saturday. Kahit yun nalang yung gift mo sakin. Balik kang Saturday.
Yoshke: May gift na ko sayo eh
Andre: SEE? All the more na kelangan mong bumalik sa saturday. para mabigay mo sakin
Yoshke: Andre, malabo yung saturday. sobrang labo nun
Andre: YOSHKE AKO TO!!!
Andre: SI ANDRE!!!
Andre: YOU CANT SAY NO TO ME!!!
Yoshke: NO!
Andre: Sige na nga, tomorrow na lang.

Bibigay din pala. Pinahirapan pa ako.

A TYPICAL TEXT CONVERSATION WITH ANDRE

Yoshke: (Watching Man vs Wild) OMG. Si Bear Grylls, kumakain ng snake. Sabi nya lasang chicken. Weird. Those who have tried it claim rats taste like chicken. Frogs, they say, taste like chicken, too. Why does everything exotic and gross taste like chicken?!
Andre: Yan ang lasa ng umami!

A TYPICAL BLOG POST BY ANDRE

excuse meee. igive nyo sakin tong moment in time na to.

in english, give me just this one moment in time… then in that one moment of time… i will be… i will be… i will be freeheeh (houston, 1988).

insert: one boisterous laughter things. tangina, k?

ang blog entry na ito ay cryptic. at di ko irereveal kung tunkol saan talaga ito. isense nyo nalang nang bonggangbongga ang mga bagaybagay sa paligidligid kung gusto nyong maintindihan. kung ayaw nyo naman, ay keri lang din dahil wala naman talaga kayong mapupulot na aral dito.

actually, dito na nagtatapos ang blog entry na ito. dahil naibigay nyo na sa akin ang moment in time na ito. and for that, maraming salamat. why not magbigay din kayo ng one moment in time sa iba. upang in that one moment of time, they too will be free things.

LOVENETH! (tan, 2008)

image courtesy of macytracy9 of feministmentalhealthuk.wordpress.com

Viewed 986 times by 360 visitors this month

If you liked this post, you might want to check out:

Subscribe to Yoshke.com and receive updates when there is a new post!

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner


Posted on by Yoshke in Conversations, Friends

34 Responses to Typical Andre

  1. herbs

    his gayness is just so contagious hehe.

    • Yoshke

      AMEN! as in i swear. yung expressions nya, nakukuha ko 1 meeting lang.

  2. gilbert

    grabe ka naman magpalit ng post, parang handa na ako kanina magcomment dun sa ala joe d’mango na post mo… hehehe

    may mga kaibigan din akong katulad ni Andre… Sakit sa ulo kausap… Pero ang saya kasama!

    • Yoshke

      hahaha, yung isang post kasi ay tinesting ko lang. :P Naabutan mo lang siguro.

      Next week ko pa talaga ipopost yun.

      Sakit sa ulo nga. haha

  3. ron

    ang kulit ni andre….ahehe!

  4. noah

    Andre is one heck of a guy,este, gay, a basta yun na yun.

    Hehe.

  5. eloiski

    wapak! ang kulit ni andre pero ang saya.

    • Yoshke

      kulit is a major understatement. haha :P

  6. Jinjiruks Ikari

    hmm. kung bakit hindi na lang naging kayo.

    • Kevin

      They’re best friends and paging naging sila, it’s synonymous to an incestuous relationship. Yan ang point of view namin ng best friend ko. Hehe. :D

      I love the YM and the blog thingy. Tawang-tawa ako dito sa office. Pinagtitinginan na nila ako. Kebs. Hahaha. :D

    • Yoshke

      WAHAHAHA. andali lang sagutin kumbaket hindi kami — AYAW NAMIN SA ISA’T ISA ROMANTICALLY. Howkey? haha. :P

  7. meow

    hahaha! ako ata yung na’good luck nya! parang naalala ko…

    • Yoshke

      hahaha. hindi yata ikaw. ay ewan.

      PAGING ANDRE! Pakisagot nga ng tanong namin…

  8. Kevin

    Hindi na naman pumasok comment ko. :(

  9. VinS

    maswerte ka at may kaibigan kang gaya ni Andre

  10. andreEeEe

    oh good lord! not another one…

    anyway, no meow, it wasn’t you.

  11. dohna

    naiimagine ko si andre saying that, kahit sa YM pa yan. hahaha. loves it.
    andre dear, all systems go tayo after holy week. ehe. <3

  12. JM

    Naaalala ko si Andre yung block handler namin nung freshie na makulit mag-text at palagi John Mark ang tawag sakin kahit sinabi ko na na JM nickname ko. LOLz. Di na nya siguro naaalala yun. :P

  13. lio loco

    teka…etong andrei ba, eto ba ung boyfriend mo yoshke? hehehe.

  14. lio loco

    andre pala…sorry sa incorrect spelling. hakhak!

  15. Nash

    sumakit yung ulo ko sa pilitan

    bumigay nga din haha :) )

    • Kevin

      Ung dating para bang, “Sa hinaba-haba ng prusisyon, kinabukasan pa rin ang tuloy.” Haha

  16. ced

    si andrei talaga! hehe

    good thing you have andrei. laging kumpleto araw mo no? hehehe

    • Kevin

      Kung ma-meet mo si André, malamang parati din kumpleto araw mo noh? Hehehe :D

  17. ced

    hahaha! parang multivitamins pala si andre! haha

    • Kevin

      Aaaw… Parang Centrum mo pala si André. :D

  18. The Lady in Green Ruffles

    katuwa naman si andree..like his gayness.. want him to be my friend..hehe

  19. kent

    omfg! i would LOVE to meet ANDRE! hahahahahahaha!!!

    • Yoshke

      Be careful what you wish for… haha

Add a Comment

More in Conversations, Friends (27 of 84 articles)
vegetable sex


In the movie and TV industry, it is common for people to use metaphors when talking about things that we should not talk about (or at least, that's what MTRCB says). So to avoid vulgarities, people use vegetables to refer to body parts that must not be named. Talong for male genitalia. Pechay for female. I know one director whose ...