Typical Andre

Tuesday April 7, 2009 14:49 | 4,729 views

A TYPICAL TEXT MESSAGE FROM ANDRE

Just when I thought I had escaped the z00-reminiscent insanity of my friends for the holidays, I received a message like this:

“Waaa. Kumusta naman yung nagdeliver ako ng ham. Sabi nung customer ‘Thank you.‘ Ang sinagot ko ‘Good luck.’ Wahaha. Ang tanga ko lang.”

Wahaha, agree, agree.

A TYPICAL YAHOO! MESSENGER CHAT WITH ANDRE (December 22, 2008)

Andre: Youre not going anywhere naman tonight di ba?
Yoshke: Nope
Andre: Raincheck daw
Yoshke: Huwaaaaat? si Jerwin?
Andre: Yeah. May sakit
Yoshke: I invited Patti pa naman
Andre: Sa Saturday nalang
Yoshke: Ah aright, kayo na lang
Andre: EEEEEH!!!! Anubaa?
Yoshke: Batangas na ko nun
Andre: Kelan ka balik?
Yoshke: January 2
Andre: Eeeeeeeeeh
Andre: Yoshke naman ehhhhhhhhhhhh
Andre: YOSHKEEEEEE
Andre: Balik ka dali naaaaaaaaaaa
Andre: Pls plsplspls pls puhleeeeeez
Yoshke: Hindi pede, alangan namang lumuwas ako ng Maynila para lang mag-Sidebar. kumusta yun?
Andre: NO! babalik ka ng maynila to spend the holiday with your friends! it just so happened that the friends are at Sidebar!
Yoshke: I have a family to give a little lovin-lovin to.
Andre: But we are also your familyyy. Isang araw lang naman ang hinihingi namin sayo.
Yoshke: Oo nga, isang araw lang. isang maling araw.
Andre: Ah sige. Gusto mo dalawa? Eh di dalawang araw!
Yoshke: Dalawang maling araw, mas hindi pede, bakla kaaa.
Andre: I’ll make you a good deal… Punta ka dito sa sabado. Sidebar tayo. Then the next day, dalhin mo kami sa Tagaytay.
Yoshke. Wahahahahaha…. NO!
Andre: O, maganda yan ha
Yoshke: Hindi ah, dehado ako dun
Andre : Parang hinatid ka na rin namin sa lemery nun
Yoshke: TOMORROW na lang kasi!
Andre: Eeeeeeeh Saturdaaaaaay na lang
Yoshke: Eeeeeh. Dont Saturday me
Andre: Please please please. I’m down on my knees. Begging you please. Wait, anong kanta yun?
Yoshke: “On Bended Knee” ng Boys 2 Men.
Andre: Haha corek! Ang galing mo talaga. Dahil dyan, balik ka sa Saturday
Yoshke: Andre, stop me! Tigilan ako. wahaha
Andre: Yoshke, Saturday. Kahit yun nalang yung gift mo sakin. Balik kang Saturday.
Yoshke: May gift na ko sayo eh
Andre: SEE? All the more na kelangan mong bumalik sa saturday. para mabigay mo sakin
Yoshke: Andre, malabo yung saturday. sobrang labo nun
Andre: YOSHKE AKO TO!!!
Andre: SI ANDRE!!!
Andre: YOU CANT SAY NO TO ME!!!
Yoshke: NO!
Andre: Sige na nga, tomorrow na lang.

Bibigay din pala. Pinahirapan pa ako.

A TYPICAL TEXT CONVERSATION WITH ANDRE

Yoshke: (Watching Man vs Wild) OMG. Si Bear Grylls, kumakain ng snake. Sabi nya lasang chicken. Weird. Those who have tried it claim rats taste like chicken. Frogs, they say, taste like chicken, too. Why does everything exotic and gross taste like chicken?!
Andre: Yan ang lasa ng umami!

A TYPICAL BLOG POST BY ANDRE

excuse meee. igive nyo sakin tong moment in time na to.

in english, give me just this one moment in time… then in that one moment of time… i will be… i will be… i will be freeheeh (houston, 1988).

insert: one boisterous laughter things. tangina, k?

ang blog entry na ito ay cryptic. at di ko irereveal kung tunkol saan talaga ito. isense nyo nalang nang bonggangbongga ang mga bagaybagay sa paligidligid kung gusto nyong maintindihan. kung ayaw nyo naman, ay keri lang din dahil wala naman talaga kayong mapupulot na aral dito.

actually, dito na nagtatapos ang blog entry na ito. dahil naibigay nyo na sa akin ang moment in time na ito. and for that, maraming salamat. why not magbigay din kayo ng one moment in time sa iba. upang in that one moment of time, they too will be free things.

LOVENETH! (tan, 2008)

image courtesy of macytracy9 of feministmentalhealthuk.wordpress.com