It’s been really, really difficult to feature my nephew here lately. I seldom see him since I visit Batangas once every three weeks. But finally, I have collected enough anecdotes under one theme. All it took was a little trip to Antipolo!
BLOOD OF CHRIST
When I visit Batangas, one of the tasks that I need to do is to accompany my nephew to church. At first, I was hesitant to do this because I’m agnostic and I don’t believe in religion. However, since no one actually knows about this side of mine, I don’t really have a choice.
His dad is not Catholic so he won’t take him. Other members of the family attend the 6am mass, too early and too cold for a toddler. So the burden is passed on to me every time and I pretend I enjoy the priest’s homily and endure the physical workout that is kneeling and standing every now and then..
It’s interesting to go to church with an inquisitive kid. For one, I am always careful not to mention my beliefs (or the lack thereof). His mother wants him to be raised a faithful Catholic, hence the Catholic school and his obsession to Sto. Nino.
One Sunday morning at the local church:
Nephew: Are priests drunkards?
Yoshke: Well, it’s wine. It’s healthy.
Nephew: I’m not allowed to drink wine.
Yoshke: That’s because you are a kid.
Nephew: When I grow up, I too will drink wine in front of many people.
Yoshke: No, it’s not like that. Weren’t you listening to the priest? The wine symbolizes the blood of Christ.
Nephew: The wine is the blood of Jesus’?
He looked at the statue hanging at the end of the church. It’s an image of Jesus Christ, nailed on the cross, soaked in blood. He stared at it for what was like 10 seconds and turned to me.
Nephew: Why would they want to drink that?
He began scratching his head. And I answered, “I have no idea.”
THE OLD MAN ON TV!
Last Sunday, my family and I went to the Our Lady of Peace and Good Voyage in Antipolo City, Rizal. The entire time I was with my nephew. My sister and the rest of the family went inside the church and insisted that my nephew be left with me since the place was already crowded and other devotees chose to stay outside anyways. There were TV screens outside the church so the ones outside could see the priest and what was happening inside.
I was shocked when he asked, “Tito, can we switch that to Cartoon Network? The old man is boring.“
JUST CAN’T WAIT
“Tito, is it over yet? Let’s go to Enchanted Kingdom now!”
It had only been 10 minutes but my nephew was already itching to go to Enchanted Kingdom in Laguna, which was next in our itinerary.
Yoshke: Well, we need to finish the mass before we could go.
Nephew: How long is this going to take?
Yoshke: Like usual. Less than an hour.
Nephew: (sad face) Why do we have to go through this?
Yoshke: We just need to.
Nephew: Why?
Yoshke: Because you won’t be allowed to enter Enchanted Kingdom without listening to the priest telling you that you have sinned.
Nephew: Why?
Yoshke: Because!
Nephew: Why?!?! (just about to throw tantrums)
Yoshke: You see that lady <points to a figure of Mama Mary in front of the church>. Well, that’s Our Lady of Enchanted Kingdom! If you don’t stay here longer, she’ll know. You won’t like that.
He behaved like an angel.
PEACE BE WITH YOU
We stayed outside for the rest of the hour. When the priest asked everyone to offer one another a sign of peace, my nephew, like always, looked at everyone around him as they say “peace be with you.” In front of us were a couple who kissed each other on the cheek and said “peace be with you.”
A bit surprised, my nephew looked at me as if asking something.
I said, “well, yeah, that’s how other people offer peace.”
He responded with just an “Aaah.”
Minutes later, while we were walking back to our vehicle, he asked, “People on TV always give peace to one another.”
…
A little later, after minutes of not talking, he just exclaimed, “Why did Audrey slap Dave when he offered her peace?”
“Maybe he didn’t like the peace Dave was offering. Perhaps he wanted JR’s peace” was my answer.
…
Before we could reach the van, he asked, “If it’s that easy to give peace, why do people always fight?”
Hmmm.
Hmmmmmmmm.
Tough question. Being a diplomat-wannabe, I tried to translate what’s in my head into something that a kid could easily understand but it was hard. So I just yelled…
“HEY LOOK! Cashew nuts! Come on let’s grab some.”
…
Viewed 1362 times by 411 visitors this month
If you liked this post, you might want to check out:
Subscribe to Yoshke.com and receive updates when there is a new post! |
wanted to laugh out loud on the Aubrey-Dave-JR peace thing, if only i wasn’t in the library hahaha
hay kids talaga… so cute!
aba aba aba, nagsa-surf ka sa library!
i wonder where your nephew got that promil kid-ness from? hmmm
from me of course! hahaha
Our Lady of Enchanted Kingdom? Hahahahaha. But I love the Dave-Audrey-JR-peace part better.
ang cute naman ng pamangkin mo.
he’s in love with Kim Chiu.
You haven’t even told him that the wafer is the body of Christ.
hindi haha, marerealize nya rin yun
that kid is annoying but adorable! reminds me of my nephew as well
wow, our nephews will rule the world someday! haha
At last! Meron na ulit kasunod ung Promil series! I missed your nephew, Yoshke. Hehehe.
***
Yoshke: You see that lady . Well, that’s Our Lady of Enchanted Kingdom! If you don’t stay here longer, she’ll know. You won’t like that.
He behaved like an angel.
***
That’s my favorite part! Hahaha! xD
hehe, thanks kevin
Hehehe. You’re welcome.
‘Well, that’s Our Lady of Enchanted Kingdom! If you don’t stay here longer, she’ll know. You won’t like that.’
the best to parekoy. lol ako..literally..hahaha
salamat sa pagdaan.
i should invite you to tech catechism sometime. you have this knack on kids which i don’t have. hahahaha!
knack is one thing, patience is another. and i dont think i have the latter.
pansin ko lang, tiklop ka sa pamangkin mo. hehehe
may katapat ka na yoshke..
peace!
baka maunahan ka pa niya maging ambassador
ambassador ng kakulitan, kabibohan, at kakyutan.. hehehe
huy, hindi ako tiklop sa kanya no. minamanipulate ko nga lagi yun!
yeah, yeah..love your nephew..soo much..ahehe
salamat ulit sa pagdaan Lady in Green Ruffles!
regular reader mo nako..hehe
hahaha! cute!
our lady of enchanted kingdom! hahaha!
primetime bida kayo ng nephew mo!
true! haha. super crush nya si kim chiu!
ang cute.
nakakamiss ang promil kid mong pamangkin..
sadyang mga bata talaga..
and in fairness ah, avid audience of Tayong Dalawa?
sana may magbigay din sakin ng “peace”..
haha!
haha. YUN YUN EH!
gusto mo lang ng peace! MAGHANAP KA NGA KASIIII!
hello..
bumisita lang ehhe..muntik na kong mapaatras hehe..english pala ang blog mo hehe..allergic ako sa english blog hehe..joke lang hehe..
wow ha ang kulit at kiddo ng pamangkin mo hehe..parang chikiting ko lang hehe,,.makulet din hehe..
parang kung yang pamangkin mo nakusap ko nose bleed na ko hehe..
hahaha.
salamat sa pagdaan
napaka-bibo ng nephew mo dude. ganyang-ganyan din ako ng bata pa ko eh, andami kong tanong. ganyan talaga siguro pag batang likas na matalino tulad natin. haha. apirr tayo jan!
ang galing site mo. very nice layout. at inggitero ako. haha
ex-links? lagay na kita sa blogroll ko ha. whether u like it or luv it!
sure sure. lagay din kita sa links ko!
na notice ko lang, kaibigan na ng lahat ng nasa blogroll ko kayo tas ako parang bago pa din sa mga blogsites nyo. kailangan ko na atang maging extra friendly.
btw sigurado ang Dioniscio na that kid is adorable
salamat sa pagdaan
the mind of an innocent child is so amazing… suko ka ano?! hehehe!
lols to mother of enchanted kingdom! hahaha! meron palang ganun? hahaha!
this was a funny post! MORE!
—
I TOTALLY AGREE! Cuaron’s interpretation of the book was just perfect.
Our Lady of Enchanted Kingdom — May Bigote din ba yon???
hahaha, wala eh
..ahecks. makulit na bata. bibbo. nakakatuwa. ahhhhhhm
..pers taym here.
hehe.
yay! salamat sa pagdaan!
haha! nakakatuwa naman kayong magtito. ang cute nyo sigurong dalawa pag magkasama. =)
lagi kami nagaaway. hahaha
wow yoshke.
ok na ulit ang site mo. yehey!
yep yep!
Our Lady of Enchanted Kingdom.
)
The Dave-Audrey-JR part was most interesting. You really got your quite tied up with the promil kid. He’s really intelligent.
pahingi naman ng peace. good day yoshke
)
haha, OY GUYS! PAHINGI DAW NG PEACE SI DUST!
Lalake ka ba o lalake @dust? Hahahaha xD
haha! pwede both?
)
~your hands quite tied up.
nice one! ang kulet ng bata! hahaha
aba lalaine! napadaan kaaaa
you sure have an intelligent nephew!.. with gifted humour! did he pray for the lady of enchanted kingdom? LOL
he almost did! haha
yohoo..top 3 nako!
hahaha, in fairness sayo. napaka bilis mo umakyat.
isn’t it almost scary, that the lady in green ruffles has gotten way ahead of us
)
waahhh gusto ko rin maging top commentor mo..
togoinks…
pa ex link naman dyan idol.. wahehhe..
this is hilarious! i have fallen in love with your site now… i just want to laugh out loud… people at work are now staring at me wehehehe.. nice work mah man!
walang gustong magbigay sakin ng PEACE..
potential where na you??
i need some looooooooove.haha!
Finally!another story of your pamangkin. Cute tlga!
you made me laugh sooooo hard with your Our Lady of Enchanted Kingdom thing!! crazy. but yeah, it was brilliant! he he..
Our Lady of Enchanted Kingdom…ahahhahahaha….winner!
Panalo yung una! haha! parang ako lang kasama mga bulinggit kong pinsan everytime magsisimba… hehe! WTF!
LMAO! This post is great! my father kept asking me what I was laughing about.
The lady of Enchanted Kingdom. hahhahahahahhahahahahhaha.
hahaha. nice one. i had similar encounters with my cousins. hahaha.