One of the first books I received was a children’s bible. It was small, red, and a little too thin for a bible.

Of course, as a kid the first thing I did upon receiving it was scan it and see the pictures. On every page was an image and a short story. My uber-Catholic parents and siblings used to read me biblical stories to sleep. (Oh yes, I grew up in a so very Catholic environment and look how I turned out, haha, agnostic, gay and reckless). Thus, I recognized some of those stories instantly — Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel, Noah, Abraham, Jacob — so I didn’t bother reading them.

What caught my attention was the story after Jacob’s. There was a picture of a kid being pulled up a well, and in the background were several men and a caravan. I read it and fell in love with it right away. It was the first story I read on my own. The story — Joseph, the Dreamer.

I admire Joseph. I’m in love with him. He is kind. He is vengeful. He is human. And in my head, he’s hot.

Also, “dreams” fascinate me the way porn does. Not that I like porn. Yeah, I do, who doesn’t? But I meant, how it fascinates other people. Yeah, dreams fascinate me the way porn fascinates other people. Haha. Nagmalinis daw.

Anyway, I’ve been dreaming a lot recently. And I sorta remember those dreams even up to now. So I’m reminded of Joseph once again. But unlike Joseph, I’m not really good at interpreting dreams. Anyone here who’d like to play Joseph and try to figure out what my dreams mean?

If you’re right, I’ll give you.. err… nothing. If you’re right, good for you. :P

Here are the dreams:

MUTE USHERS AND A BROKEN CELLPHONE

There was a blogger event at Star Mall parking lot. I’m assuming it was Star Mall because I could see an overpass leading to SM Megamall from where I was seated. One of the ushers was a college friend. For this narrative’s sake, let’s call him Joseph. Well, so Joseph was an usher but ushers were not allowed to talk. He was wearing this weird usher uniform which resembled a London guard. He approached me and he said that I won a cellphone. I was confused because I didn’t even join any contest or raffle. Without talking, he was able to let me know that he was not allowed to talk any more. So he walked me to the overpass. Once there, the organizers gave me a high-end phone but it had a girl-ish decoration, something like flower stickers. Worse, it didn’t have a battery. I asked why the phone was like that but no one would talk. So I left and sat again. And then, I woke up.

THE MISTAKEN AMBASSADOR

There was a Globe event at the hotel I was in. I was just there for pleasure. But when my boss saw me there, she told me that she needed me to help managing the event. I was in a black suit but the event required men to wear Barong Tagalog. I told my boss that I needed to get to the mall and find a barong. The mall was like Bonifacio High Street. Once there, I saw an ambassador. She was one of the panelists who interviewed me at the Foreign Service Oral Exams. She recognized me and said she needed to talk. She apologized for being the reason I did not make it through the Orals. She said she misjudged me and that she would fix it and make everything right. She was about to show me my grades when I woke up.

SNAKES IN THE BED

I was in my grandfather’s bed. All of my cousins were outside, playing. I saw a bag in the bed and opened it. Inside were snakes — different kinds. But before I could freak, I realized that the floor was already covered with hundreds of snakes. A few were as big as pythons and some were as small as earthworms. I was just in the bed looking at them as they dominated the entire house.

BILLY DOESN’T MAKE ME HOT

I was in a room, alone. In one corner was a stage and on it was Billy Crawford, performing. And there I was, wanking in front of him. (Funny. In real life, I don’t even find Billy Crawford attractive.) But there was something wrong, I couldn’t get an erection.

…

We all have our share of recurring dreams. This is the dream that plays in my head most often.

TROUBLE ON THE ORESUND BRIDGE

I was at the Oresund Bridge, the famous bridge-tunnel connecting Sweden and Denmark. I was either a tour guide or an engineer coz I was telling them  how amazing and groundbreaking the bridge was to a group of tourists. When we were at the tunnel, I noticed that there was some water getting through the walls so I tried to block it with my hands. Water continue to force its way in but I managed to fix the holes. Later, I was on the bridge. After explaining to the tourists how it was built, I suddenly noticed one of the giant screws getting loose. So secretly, I fixed it. But then, I noticed more and more screws and bolts corroding. And then the bridge shook dangerously. Before it could collapse, I would wake up.

Scary huh?

Do you have an interpretation? Come on, shoot.

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