And That’s the Bottom Line!
Here are some completely innocent statements but my friends’ dirty minds tell them otherwise.
SANAY NA
One very toxic night, I had been editing political ads on my laptop with my small marketing teammates at our apartment FOR HOURS. My friends Dohna, Dane, and Frances were sitting on the airbed while I was on the stairs facing a chair where the laptop was on. There was just no place in the mattress left so I had to sit on the bottom step of the staircase despite the discomfort.
Dohna grew concerned about my situation so she asked, “Yoshke, masakit ba?”
And without thinking, I replied, “Hindi naman. Sanay na ang pwet ko.”
Everyone burst into laughter. I meant I got used to being seated for hours.
PUMAPASOK
Frances, Dohna, Asta, JT, Maikel and I were at Starbucks Shangri-la last Thursday night when we agreed to exchange horror stories. Frances was narrating a horrifying encounter when they stayed in Baguio a few years ago, wherein an old lady was torturing her in her sleep but she was awake and she couldn’t move. More like a case of sleep paralysis.
Frances narrated, “Tapos hindi talaga ako makagalaw. Tapos gusto kong sumigaw pero hindi ko magawa, walang lumalabas na boses. Tapos weird, ang hirap ng i-explain. Alam nyo yung feeling na may malaking bagay na pumapasok sa katawan mo?”
“Oo, alam ko ang feeling nang may malaking bagay na pumapasok sa katawan ko,” I interrupted.
Everyone gave me a look as if saying “You ruined dinner.” Sorry naman. She asked! I just answered. I meant I had the same sleep paralysis experience.
HINDI QUALIFIED
While preparing dinner at the condo a few months ago.
Andre: Pag nagkaroon ng Top Chef Philippines, parang ang sarap sumali. Kaso hindi ako qualified.
Yoshke: Bakit naman?
Andre: Hindi kasi ako “top.”
He meant he’s not that experienced a cook!
MASAKIT LANG
And now, some reposts. Haha.
A conversation over lunch. Esan was eyeing Kat’s banana. Kat was a little reluctant to give it to Esan.
Esan: Anong saging yan?
Mads: Lacatan. Lacatan yan, di ba?
Yoshke: Yep. Lacatan yan.
Esan:Mas gusto ko yung isang klase.
Mads: Baka latundan?
Esan: Ano yung latundan?
Yoshke: Ang alam ko yung mas maputi yung laman tapos mas maliit.
Esan: Ah yun nga yung gusto ko!
Yoshke: Yung gusto ko ay senorita.
Mads: Anliit naman!
Esan: Pero pinakamasarap yung saba!
Mads: (weirded out) Hala, saba. Yung panluto? Yung nilalaga?
Esan: Oo. Masarap yun. Kahit hindi niluto, masarap yun.
Yoshke: Masarap naman talaga ang saba. Masakit lang.
Anu daw?! Haha. But I meant it was relatively difficult to swallow compared to other types of bananas.
SAKIT SA ULO
On the way to my boss’s house for a little booze session last Friday night, I couldn’t help bitching about my terrible headache. I was sitting in the backseat with Mads.
Yoshke: Gaaaahd, my head aches like hell.
Mads: Why?
Yoshke: I dunno. But the street lights hurt my eyes, too. Everything’s too bright. And it sends my brain to pain-land.
Mads: So it really aches? How painful is it?
Yoshke: Very. Very painful…. Like the first time.
Like whaaaat?!?! WTF. Wahaha. Steve, who was driving, and Kat, in the passenger seat, let out a little WTF-giggle. Wahaha. I didn’t know why I said that. Like the first time. I meant the first time I had that kind of headache.
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On May 31, 1985, tragedy struck when 41 tornadoes hit Canada and the US, leaving 76 people dead. At the same time, a doomed couple in the Philippines were having the best orgasms of their lives. Nine months (280 days) later, a healthy baby boy was brought into this world by normal delivery. That was exactly a week before Microsoft had its initial public offering.
Today, Yoshke Dimen resides independently in Mandaluyong City. He got a degree in Film from an overrated university in Diliman but is now pursuing a career in Social Media.
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Hahaha this is so funny. Ang dumi kasi natin mag-isip minsan. haha
true true. ako hindi ako madumi magisip! CHAR! haha
WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE COMMENTS?!
why? what’s with the comments?
Waddaheck?! Bottom ka na Yoshke? Peace!
uy wala akong sinasabing ganun! haha
Hindi mo naman sinagot tanong ko eh. Oo lang o hinde ang sagot. Bwahahahahha. Joke.:D
kulit lang!
hehehehe
LOL ang kulit
uy, napadaan ka ulit!
funny funny funny! very very very!
thanks thanks thanks
HA!
nagback to zero ung counter mo?
I guess it does that every year..:)
ay ganun ba..hehe
Yes,it does that every year. Too bad for Kevin, haha. But you will always be the top commenter for 2009!
Eh combined forces un nung dalawa Kevin eh. Kaya nagpalit ako ng username ko dito. Remember si Kevin, ung owner nung blog na menthol guy?
wala bang prize ang pagiging top commenter..hehe
Hindi ko din actually alam. Feeling ko lang. Ü
hehe..asn na kc ung may-ari nito para matigil na ang lahat ng espekulasyon..hehe
prang taung 2 n lng nag-uusap dito ah
Mukha nga. Hahaha. Keri lang.
Yoshke. Pst. San ka na ba? xD
Heto na heto na, sorry naman! haha
Ayan. Buti naman. Tagal mo di nagparamdam. Mishu.:)
@Shy Guy: Basahin mo yan. Basahin mo yan. Joke.
halu..pasingit lang!
i miss this site. dahil sa work, hindi nako nakakapag online lagi.
screw work! visit this blog ALL THE FRAKKIN TIME! Chos!
LOL. screw work talaga!
@Yoshke: Kung maka-chos ka naman jan, dapat talaga all caps. Hahaha
HAHA. WIN!
naughty naughty… ahaha
rofl to the max! so love your stories!
Hahahahah…
bottomline is… your friends’ minds are corrupted. nyay!
HAHA. MADE MY DAY. LATE KO NA NABASA PERO OKAY LANG.. =)
Very interesting post;) generally have a nice blog and good content in your posts. Have a nice day.