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And That’s the Bottom Line!

Posted by Yoshke in Monday, January 11th 2010
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Here are some completely innocent statements but my friends’ dirty minds tell them otherwise.

SANAY NA

One very toxic night, I had been editing political ads on my laptop with my small marketing teammates at our apartment FOR HOURS. My friends Dohna, Dane, and Frances were sitting on the airbed while I was on the stairs facing a chair where the laptop was on. There was just no place in the mattress left so I had to sit on the bottom step of the staircase despite the discomfort.

Dohna grew concerned about my situation so she asked, “Yoshke, masakit ba?”

And without thinking, I replied, “Hindi naman. Sanay na ang pwet ko.”

Everyone burst into laughter. I meant I got used to being seated for hours.

PUMAPASOK

Frances, Dohna, Asta, JT, Maikel and I were at Starbucks Shangri-la last Thursday night when we agreed to exchange horror stories. Frances was narrating a horrifying encounter when they stayed in Baguio a few years ago, wherein an old lady was torturing her in her sleep but she was awake and she couldn’t move. More like a case of sleep paralysis.

Frances narrated, “Tapos hindi talaga ako makagalaw. Tapos gusto kong sumigaw pero hindi ko magawa, walang lumalabas na boses. Tapos weird, ang hirap ng i-explain. Alam nyo yung feeling na may malaking bagay na pumapasok sa katawan mo?

“Oo, alam ko ang feeling nang may malaking bagay na pumapasok sa katawan ko,” I interrupted.

Everyone gave me a look as if saying “You ruined dinner.” Sorry naman. She asked! I just answered. I meant I had the same sleep paralysis experience.

HINDI QUALIFIED

While preparing dinner at the condo a few months ago.

Andre: Pag nagkaroon ng Top Chef Philippines, parang ang sarap sumali. Kaso hindi ako qualified.
Yoshke: Bakit naman?
Andre: Hindi kasi ako “top.”

He meant he’s not that experienced a cook!

MASAKIT LANG

And now, some reposts. Haha.

A conversation over lunch. Esan was eyeing Kat’s banana. Kat was a little reluctant to give it to Esan.

Esan: Anong saging yan?
Mads: Lacatan. Lacatan yan, di ba?
Yoshke: Yep. Lacatan yan.
Esan:Mas gusto ko yung isang klase.
Mads: Baka latundan?
Esan: Ano yung latundan?
Yoshke: Ang alam ko yung mas maputi yung laman tapos mas maliit.
Esan: Ah yun nga yung gusto ko!
Yoshke: Yung gusto ko ay senorita.
Mads: Anliit naman!
Esan: Pero pinakamasarap yung saba!
Mads: (weirded out) Hala, saba. Yung panluto? Yung nilalaga?
Esan: Oo. Masarap yun. Kahit hindi niluto, masarap yun.
Yoshke: Masarap naman talaga ang saba. Masakit lang.

Anu daw?! Haha. But I meant it was relatively difficult to swallow compared to other types of bananas.

SAKIT SA ULO

On the way to my boss’s house for a little booze session last Friday night, I couldn’t help bitching about my terrible headache. I was sitting in the backseat with Mads.

Yoshke: Gaaaahd, my head aches like hell.
Mads: Why?
Yoshke: I dunno. But the street lights hurt my eyes, too. Everything’s too bright. And it sends my brain to pain-land.
Mads: So it really aches? How painful is it?
Yoshke: Very. Very painful…. Like the first time.

Like whaaaat?!?! WTF. Wahaha. Steve, who was driving, and Kat, in the passenger seat, let out a little WTF-giggle. Wahaha. I didn’t know why I said that. Like the first time. I meant the first time I had that kind of headache.

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Comments

Hahaha this is so funny. Ang dumi kasi natin mag-isip minsan. haha


WHAT HAPPENED WITH THE COMMENTS?!


Yoshke Said:

why? what’s with the comments?


Waddaheck?! Bottom ka na Yoshke? Peace! :D


meow Said:

funny funny funny! very very very! :-)


nagback to zero ung counter mo?


I guess it does that every year..:)


erik paolo Said:

i miss this site. dahil sa work, hindi nako nakakapag online lagi.


Hindi ko din actually alam. Feeling ko lang. Ü


hehe..asn na kc ung may-ari nito para matigil na ang lahat ng espekulasyon..hehe

prang taung 2 n lng nag-uusap dito ah


Mukha nga. Hahaha. Keri lang. :D

Yoshke. Pst. San ka na ba? xD


Yoshke Said:

true true. ako hindi ako madumi magisip! CHAR! haha


Yoshke Said:

uy wala akong sinasabing ganun! haha


Yoshke Said:

uy, napadaan ka ulit! ;)


Yoshke Said:

thanks thanks thanks :P


Yoshke Said:

screw work! visit this blog ALL THE FRAKKIN TIME! Chos!


Yoshke Said:

Yes,it does that every year. Too bad for Kevin, haha. But you will always be the top commenter for 2009! :P


Yoshke Said:

Heto na heto na, sorry naman! haha


erik paolo Said:

LOL. screw work talaga!


Hindi mo naman sinagot tanong ko eh. Oo lang o hinde ang sagot. Bwahahahahha. Joke.:D


Eh combined forces un nung dalawa Kevin eh. Kaya nagpalit ako ng username ko dito. Remember si Kevin, ung owner nung blog na menthol guy? :P


Ayan. Buti naman. Tagal mo di nagparamdam. Mishu.:)

@Shy Guy: Basahin mo yan. Basahin mo yan. Joke. :P


@Yoshke: Kung maka-chos ka naman jan, dapat talaga all caps. Hahaha


wala bang prize ang pagiging top commenter..hehe


markcabil Said:

naughty naughty… ahaha


finya Said:

rofl to the max! so love your stories!


Mon Said:

Hahahahah…
bottomline is… your friends’ minds are corrupted. nyay!


noah Said:

HAHA. MADE MY DAY. LATE KO NA NABASA PERO OKAY LANG.. =)


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