image courtesy of Wired.com
Impress him. Surprise him. Cheat not. Hit not. In simpler terms, these are the most important pieces of advice on keeping a relationship. But sometimes, no matter how strictly you follow these commandments, relationships still die. Some of natural death. Why? Because we tend to overlook simpler but not any less significant things we have to remember when we are the other half of a couple.
10. When you make mistakes, say sorry.
Your heart should be bigger than your ego. Pride will get your relationship nowhere. When you suddenly threw tantrums in the middle of your seventh monthsary dinner (ulimately ruining the night), say sorry. It’s your fault, take the blame. It’s simple, really: When you make a mistake, apologize.
9. When your partner makes mistakes, say sorry.
Shit happens. Everybody makes mistakes. Your partner is not an exception. When your partner does and he or she apologizes, don’t pin all the blame on him/her. Analyze the situation. I mean, REALLY analyze it and you’ll find you have shortcomings, too. Example:
He’s late. It’s his fault, yes. But did you remind him?
He called you a bitch. It’s his fault, yes. But are you really not?
He’s out with friends yet again. It’s not really a fault but let’s say it is. Was it clear you didn’t want him to go out with friends four times a week?
Point is, it wouldn’t hurt to get your share of the blame sometimes. After all, you’re partners.
8. Don’t self-pity.
If you think you’re so ugly or so stupid or so whatever and you think you’re not good at anything, stop it. Self-pitying will only make you feel bad. And if you feel bad about yourself, imagine how it makes your partner feel. Has it ever occurred to you that the more you tarnish your confidence, the worse your partner is hurt?
Think about this: He loves you. If you think you’re worthless, you are insulting your partner in a way.
7. Always say ‘I love you.’
Yeah, yeah, showing it beats saying it. But hey, saying “I love you,” especially when you mean it (and you should), has this extraordinary ability of brightening up a day, building confidence, and making your partner feel better.
You know what else has that ability? “Thank you.”
6. Don’t get too attached.
You’re one. You’re partners. Right. But hey, your relationship is not your life. You have a life together but it should not stop you from living a life of your own. Go out with your friends. Visit your family. Experience and enjoy life without him sometimes. It WILL help both you and your relationship.
Besides, ever heard of the word “suffocating?” Many relationships die of that.
5. Manage the drama.
A perfect relationship is a boring relationship. Get jealous sometimes. Feel uber-sensitive sometimes. Feel threatened sometimes. Add some drama to it.
But wait, there’s a thin line. DO NOT OVERDO IT!
It’s perfectly normal in a relationship that sometimes, one acts like a baby. But remember, there’s only one room for an immature person in every relationship. When one is throwing tantrums, the other has to remain calm, understanding and level-headed. Two babies at one time is a deadly combination. When your partner is acting like it, don’t do the same.
4. Spend nights together.
I know what you’re thinking. It’s not just sex. Sex is good, yes. What needs to be underlined here is that incredible feeling of going to sleep and waking up in the arms of someone you really love. Intimacy is important.
3. Know the little things about your partner.
Share secrets. Know the trivial things that most people would not care about or just dismiss. There’s one boy band song that I really like and it says, “It’s the little things that only I know; those are the things that make you mine.” That’s so true.
2. Don’t overpower your partner.
They say that in a relationship, there’s always one that dominates. It may be true. But if power is a problem in your relationship, talk about it. Do not overpower your partner all the time. Don’t insist paying for everything when he/she had already said she wanted to split. Don’t always put yourself on a pedestal; it makes your partner feel low. Don’t make rules by yourself. (And don’t make rules on the spot.) Listen to what he/she has to say.
1. Work it out.
One of the best pieces of love advice that I received came from a friend. She said, “You don’t quit just because you’re not happy at the moment. The whole point of being in a relationship is that you, at the very least, try to work it out.” That’s why it is a “relationship.” It’s a relationship between two people. It’s a collaborative effort.
Every couple has their ups and downs. And when you encounter the down-side of it, you don’t give up just like that. You talk. You listen. You weigh things over. You work it out.
…
Entering a relationship is not easy. Keeping it is a different story; it’s much harder. It may be challenging but it is very rewarding and fulfilling. You know why? Because you don’t do it alone. The good thing about being in a relationship is that there is someone you can work with. And the best part is, it is someone you love.
At this point, let me greet Shy Guy and myself a Happy Anniversary.
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wondering with number 6. can you define a perfect relationship yosh, if such exists….
happy 1st to you 7 shy guy!!!
(in a way, i got a sudden thought. what may seem perfect for you might not work for me…hehehe)
i dont think it exists. i just used that word to describe a relationship that encounters no problem. but what im saying is, if there are no problems, if both of you ALWAYS understands each other, then it may sound perfect but it’s not because it’ll get stagnant and boring.
nice post. wala lang. ililista ko ito.
ililista mo saan? hehe
very nice post!!! i love num.9… bcoz sometimes if one will dominate the other then that will really bring strain and conflict to the relationship… i just want to ask where did you get the references of your post??
personal experience… hehe..
This is so true. Most of the time if you admit you’ve made a mistake your partner will forgive and life moves on. All good tips. Thanks!
thanks seth! please visit again.
hmmm..like this!
salamat naman!
nice.. hahah i’ll follow this advice once I’m already in a relationship hahaha
haha go go. hanap ka na dyan!
naku, I’ll keep this in mind when I get to be in a relationship..
I don’t know when but hopefully yes! Haha!
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO YOU AND SHY GUY.
naaaaaaks! =)
thanks noah!!!!
Happy Anniversary to you both!
thanks jody. napapasyal ka bigla dito hehe
i just love spending nights with my special someone… sarap talaga…
haha. di ba? di ba? good for you!
Grabeh, ang galing ni master
nyeeeeeeeeee.
nakarelate naman ako dito ng bonggang-bongga. wala lang. mukhang guilty pa ako sa ilang points dito. haha.
haha specifically eh san ka guilty? hehe.
oooops, happy 1st, too!
thaaanks!
I love the stuff you write! i like your definition of a perfect relationship or a list to help it anyway. Upon reading it, it made me think back to my own relationship and how it is and it’s made me realise a lot of stuff. it’s not bad but it’s just so much better reading something that’s in your face- confronting you then rather denying or ignoring something that’s within you.
oh! & happy anniversary!! >.<
Keep it up~!
hello, yoshke! when I visited my nuffnang acct, only two readers were logged to read my blogs, one of them was you. thank you so much!
nway, i love your post. my bestfriend and i are just starting a love relationship and having read about this 10 tips to make a relationship last will really help. ang galing mo! salamat.
keep it up! sa sobrang saya ko, ililink kita
hehehe!
ayos. at na-meet ko na si shy guy! cute cute cute! at sarap i-bully
nice:) i like it!
Hey there I am referring to number 5 – manage the drama ( about the perfect relationship). I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years now we are both 20 so we have been together since high school and we started out as really good friend. Our relationship is really good considering most of the things i have seen happen to friends and acquaintances. As in all relationships we have arguments; and when we do they only last a day or so and thats when they are really serious ( only a day? how comes?) and thats’s because we talk about everything all the time. So in my own terms a perfect relationship does exist when both parties communicate openly and then after the tears and the rage you get that feeling which makes you feel so connected to your partner because they understand u even wen you were throwing tantrums and being irrational.
But the drama will never dies because no one if perfect we all have annoying habits and we all misunderstand each other at times. But yeah a perfect relationship exists you just need to build a friendship first and you will find that the key to perfection is love, understanding and communication. sorry if its a bit cheesy/weird but it works for us
wow, well said Ellie! I’m so happy for you and your partner.
ouchhh……… ntmaan aq!!!! heheh ganda nman thanks mktulong sna sa akin… hehehh
What if your partner tells you he/she sees no future about the relationship, but dont want a break up?
Hey! I have been having some “problems” with my relationship. My partner dose not like the fact that our bestfriend saved my life. This happened last September and he wont get over it. He keeps bringing it up. Every time he dose, he gets mad. He can sometimes see things, and how things stay with me. When he gets mad, he turns into his father. Saying things he dosent mean. Over reacting. The whole shabang! He needs to see the other sides of the stories.
He has trust issues because of what happened. It has effcted both of our heath. His because he is slowly becoming paranoied. Mine because I almost froze to death.
Hes not the man I used to know. He used to be “its all about us Peyton. Dont listion to what other peolpe say. There wrong.I love you” But now he is trying to change because he dose not like how he was treating people. (Super nice guy)
Its worse than it sounds. I dont know what to do. Please help!