What’s On My Mind?
“What’s on your mind?”
Every night, while lying in bed before we go to sleep and I’m unusually quiet, you’d look at me and ask, “What’s on your mind?” I’d answer with a dismissing, “Wala lang. (Nothing.)” And then, we’d talk about something else.
The truth is, I wasn’t thinking about nothing. I was thinking about you.
Have you ever wondered why I would always make sure you go to sleep before me? That’s because I love looking at you while you’re in dreamland. I would look at you, just look at you. And then I’d just find myself praying, “God, what good did I do to deserve him?”
The funny thing is, I’m not even sure if I believe in God, but I believe in you. You are real. Your love for me is real. Nothing is more real than this. What good did I do to deserve this?
I’d lool for reasons. I would consider the moment I looked for the woman who dropped her pouch when I was at a shopping center in my hometown. Or my yearly habit of donating clothes and books to kids at an orphanage in Taal, Batangas. Or that I usually volunteer. But no, they are not good enough. You are bigger than all of them combined.
I got scared sometimes. I’d think, maybe the question I should be asking was “What bad did you do to deserve me?” Or maybe this happiness actually came with misery that I was yet to feel. Worst, “What if I don’t deserve you at all?”
That’s what ran through my head every night when we were about to sleep or when I watched you sleep. I couldn’t figure it out. I was looking for a reason you’re mine.
Not anymore.
I woke up today with a smile. Last night I had an epiphany. Screw karma; screw it. Who cares if I deserve you or not? Who cares if you deserve me? Who cares why you’re here? What matters is you ARE here, you are mine, and I’ll be the biggest idiot if I ever let you go.
When you see me looking at you like that again, there’s no need to ask me what I’m thinking and why I’m not saying anything. I’ll say it now. When you’re looking at the best thing that ever happened to you, the most beautiful man, your one and only source of inspiration, there really isn’t much to say but this, “Thank you.”
Happy 15 months.
image courtesy of sky.com
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ABOUT YOSHKE
On May 31, 1985, tragedy struck when 41 tornadoes hit Canada and the US, leaving 76 people dead. At the same time, a doomed couple in the Philippines were having the best orgasms of their lives. Nine months (280 days) later, a healthy baby boy was brought into this world by normal delivery. That was exactly a week before Microsoft had its initial public offering.
Today, Yoshke Dimen resides independently in Mandaluyong City. He got a degree in Film from an overrated university in Diliman but is now pursuing a career in Social Media.
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PLEASE?
SWEEEETTTTT! Congrats!
thanks J! XD
Aaaaawwwwwwwwwww. Isa pang aaaaaawwwwwwwwww. <3
I missed your blog Yoshke. Missed you too. More for you and Shy Guy. ^_^
aaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwww. thanks kevin!
yipeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!
happy for you and shy guy!!!
salamat geek!
ayan! kilig!!!! im counting my 1st month with my baby as in this sunday. aabot kaya ako ng 15 months? haaay…
OO. aabot yan. nasa inyo naman yan eh kung paano nyo aalagaan!
waaaaaa…… loooooovvvveee it! hahaha! happy monthsary sa inyo! Super kilig
which reminds me of my zero love life awts! haha lol!
manlandi ka kasi! haha
waaaaahhhhhh!!! soooooo love it!!!!
thanks thanks futian!
yoshke! ang tamis tamis!!!
you deserve to be happy. period. we all do.
TAMA! We all do.
I can stay awake just to hear you breathing….watch you smile while you were sleeping, while you’re far away dreaming—-it’s true, we feell it…it happens….be glad you do.
Regine Velasquez ikaw ba yan? Haha
happy monthsary yoshke. you deserve it…
thanks Jake!
ang mushy ng post na ito. nde ko alam more than a year na pala kayo. hayz. buti kapa yoshke. ako kaka-break lang last week. sigh. ewan ko ba. sana nga mahanap ko na rin ang para sa akin. am really happy for you yosh. you really deserve it.
aaaw, sorry to hear that
envious as hell… huhu
naalala ko naman ang “butterfly kisses” dyan, although pang father-daughter un.. “With all that I’ve done wrong, i must have done something right… to deserve a hug every morning, and butterfly kisses at night…” awwww..
haaay buhay… happy for u
haha, maganda yung song na yaaan!
chezzey mo naman,,,, you have lots of confusions in your mind…
haha true. im a confused boy.
magandang umaga yoshke!!
nako lablayp ito hehe
ang sweet a!
hehe, magandang umaga rin!
sobrang cheesy hahaha
paa niyo ba yun nasa pic?
hindi no, lifted off of another website, haha.
stay happy and inlove yoshke.
ikaw rin, stay happy! kung in love ka, stay in love na rin!
wow!!! love is in the air…ang sweet mo naman..hehehe
hahaha.. pano ba ang manlandi? lol! hahaha sana may top 10 ka din nito!
SWEETNESS..
I know how it feels, looking at God’s greatest creation sleeping beside you and breathing the same air you breathe..
Haaaaaays…
You’re so romanitic and passionate Yoshke..
Happy monthsary.. !
waaaaaaaaaa laglag na naman ang puso ko… hay… you’re such a wonderful person that’s why you deserve him yoshke… or else aagawin kita sa kanya.. nyahaha… yun ang karma.. hehe
mwah..
happy 15months…
anong panlaban ko sa 15months? hmmmm
hahabulin ko si tlgr as your top commentor… 28 to go.. gudluck sakin.. hehe