Status: I guess I’m dreamin’ again.
Music: Crush Crush Crush - Paramore

Since I’m agnostic and I’m still yet to decide if God really exists or not, may I ask those who are sure that He exists to pray for me for two reasons:

1. The second part of my Foreign Service Exams is just a couple of days away. It’ll be from December 19-21 (Wednesday to Friday). The truth is, I still haven’t opened my books because I’ve been busy with work. I need to review so baaad. So those of you who want to give me some moral support, I’ll be at Gloria Jean’s or Starbucks in Tomas Morato from Monday to Tuesday the whole day (and night). Haha. Nah, really. Coz I can’t study at my apartment — too much distractions around. Waaaaah. I don’t even know why I’m blogging right now. I’m supposed to be reading the ASEAN Charter.

2. Another damn reason I need your prayers is my freakin’ nape. The back of my neck has been giving me the torture of the century for some unknown reason. And it’s not just nape pains. It comes with terrible headache and dizziness — complete package. It’s been bothering me at work for two weeks now.

I went to the hospital and had a check-up. They checked my blood pressure — normal. They took an X-ray of my cervical spine (I believe that’s “neck” in English, haha) — nothing there. They told me that since both tests produced negative results, it could only be one of two things: an eye problem or stress. I really think it’s the latter coz I visit my ophthalmologist regularly and the last time he checked, my vision was 20-20 and perfectly normal except for a couple of cracks on my right lens. MMMkey. The doctor said that I should take some good rest and if nothing changed after a week, then I should come back.

Here’s the problem. How am I gonna take some rest when my exam is just two days away? But if I don’t rest, how am I gonna answer those damn questions well when my nape and head feel like they are gonna explode anytime? But if I rest, how am I gonna study for the exam? And if I don’t take some rest, how am I gonna take the test? And if I take some rest, how about my test? And if don’t rest… Damn, we’re going in circles here. But you do understand my problem, don’t you? It’s a chicken-egg thing. Pffffft.

REST or TEST?! Either way, I’m dead. You see, I need your prayers. If you’re an atheist, just wish me luck. That will do.
image courtesy of nicholsoncartoons.com.au

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Uhm, basically, the title says everything I have to say. *blush*

PS. Crush lang naman. Petty infatuation. ^_^

Uber-excited nako! Goosebumps. What say you?

I had been receiving e-mails and text messages asking me why my blog was down and inaccessible this past week. 

I am so sorry. My blog was hacked. It’s only now that everything is going back to normal. But not completely. I still have to fix a lot of things. Right now, yes, it’s up and running.

Bear with me.

Status: Damn cold.
Music: Nobody Wants to be Lonely - Ricky Martin & Christina Aguilera

Gawd, it took me six days before finally updating this blog. Still uber-busy. Nevertheless, I am still glad to announce that it’s been nine days since I last touched a cigarette. This is because my heart has been aching like hell. No, I’m not being schmaltzy. That’s not figurative. I’m talking about the organ (no, not that organ, silly, much higher). You know the organ that pumps blood called “heart.” Right, that organ. It hurts. So I stopped smoking. I can’t believe I survived nine days without nicotine, caffeine, and beer. That’s an accomplishment. I’ve been rewarding myself with too much yogurt with live microorganisms (Nancy Castiglione, ikaw ba yan?). Yum yum. I have to keep this up.

Anyway, being excruciatingly busy at work, I’ve been desperately struggling to find something enjoyable. Yahoo Messenger has become my only source of relaxation. To be more specific — my YM status messages. Here are some of my status messages this past few days. :

1. My last name may be Hungarian but no, I don’t like sausage. (Not true, actually. I like sausage.)
2. “I feel drunk but I’m sober. I’m young and I’m underpaid. I’m tired but I’m working. Yeah!” (Hand in my Pocket, Alanis Morissette)
3. “It’s like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a DAMN knife.” (modified Ironic, Alanis Morissette)
4. Alanis Morissette is Canada’s greatest contribution to mankind.
5. When I was a kid, I thought I could make a deck of cards explode. You know, like Gambit. When my dad told me it was impossible, I packed my stuff and ran away. They found me in an arcade.
6. I hate bitchy people. They’re just, uh, bitchy.
7. This is when “work” becomes a verb. Oh please, Work, I like you better when you were a noun.
8. This is how it feels to pretend like I know what I’m writing about.
9. Waaaah! I really don’t know what I’m writing about.
10. When I don’t know what I’m writing about, I just… Damn, I really don’t know what I’m writing about.
11. I miss Vanessa Carlton. Damn. This is sooo… gay.
12. I miss oversleeping like I miss college. Damn, I can’t believe I miss college!
13. “Malas mo. Ikaw ang natipuhan ko.” (Oo, Up Dharma Down)
14. Gawd, again, I really don’t know what I’m writing about.
15. Mum, I’m telling you. It’s not just a phase! You see, I still like Baby Spice. And the rest of ‘em.
16. It’s weird that I like the Pussycat Dolls. I mean, I don’t like dolls. I don’t like cats. And I don’t like….
17. My ex-girlfriend and I wanted to hurt each other so badly. She dated my bestfriend. I dated her brother. I won.
18. Writing is like sex. It’s exciting. It’s exhausting. And I suck at it.

Before I end this, I just want to make it clear that the last item is NOT true. Absolutely false. Written just for humour. Haha. Defensive.

Status: I’m love stoned I could swear
Music: Lovestoned - Justin Timberlake | I Will Remember You - Ryan Cabrera

Have you ever felt something sooo INTENSE you feel like you are going to blow anytime? Well, that’s what I’m feeling right now. That’s what I’ve been feeling since I met this guy. I have never felt something like this before. This is the beginning of a potential obsession.

You know the Mr. Perfect I painted on my mind when I was still naive and then later on, I realised he couldn’t possibly exist? The type that would make me fly to Amsterdam and get married as soon as possible? That’s him.

When I first laid eyes on him, I was shocked because he looked so mighty familiar. I had dreamt about him since the very minute I turned bisexual. But then he was imaginary and unreal. And now, I met him. My Mr. Perfect. (Yeah, I know nobody’s perfect but I’m sure you get me.)

When I first saw him, I told myself, “This can’t be real. He can’t be real.” I created a picture of my Mr. Perfect in my head, and then I found someone who looks EXACTLY like him. “He can’t be real.” But he is.

Every time I see him, I freeze and melt on the spot. I feel like I would do anything just to have him. ANYTHING. And the funny part is, I think he notices his effect on me — sublime, excruciating and mortifying, all at the same time.

The sad part part is, I know that nothing I do can make that possible. Argh. I think he’s straight.

But sooner or later, I will get him. Someday, he will be mine. (Naks! Conviction!) In the meantime, I shall divert my attention to something more useful. Like beer. Or blogging. Or other guys.

“…And now I walk around without a care.
He’s got me hooked; It just ain’t fair, but I…
I’m love stoned and I could swear that he knows
Think that he knows, oh, oh
He knows, he knows…”

PS: Contrary to what you might be thinking right now, hindi ito libog. This is sooo beyond lust. He’s charming and smart. He’s my Mr. Perfect.

Status: Well I’m so garish, a little unfairish…
Music: Childish - Damien Rice

Someone so dear to me has just so casually called me “childish” and “immature.” It’s not a big thing really. But I don’t know why I’m bothered until now. Maybe because I think it’s true.

# # #

I just got a new haircut. I don’t like it. Uh. I think I want to kill a hairstylist right now. I’m contemplating which weapon to use. Scissors? Blade? Razor? Hairspray?

# # #

My sister borrowed some PhP100,000 from me. She said she couldn’t touch her savings and she wanted to start a business. I told her I would only lend her money if she agreed to give me 50% of the profits. She did. So yeah, I think I’m starting a new business. Wish me luck.

# # #

To you son of a bitch, STOP PESTERING ME! I did not screw your boyfriend. I maybe bitchy but I’m not a bitch. He’s cute a’right. But he’s insufferably dumb. All the poor guy knows about is “fashion.” I doubt if he can even spell it. He just gives me migraine attacks the way chocolates do. At least, chocolates have nuts. So. Fuck. Off. 

Hey, I was hoping I could display or embed the Flash I made for you here on my blog. But I couldn’t find a way. So I’ll just give you the link. Click here.

I know it’s cheesy or mushy or whatever goddamn adjective you want to call it. But what the heck? I still spent a full hour making that. So you HAVE to see it. Hehehe.

Happy Birthday.