“I think you’re 80% straight.”

I was startled by these ridiculous words from my friend Chemae. We were walking back to the cottage at a resort in my hometown in Batangas. The conversation went like this:

Yoshke: Well, that remaining 20% makes me totally gay. 1% can make someone gay, you know.
Chemae: I think in time, you’ll go straight again.
Yoshke: You think so? I doubt that.
Chemae: Aila (our common friend) warned me about you.
Yoshke: Warned you about me?
Chemae: She thinks you’re just pretending to be gay when you are really straight.

Wahahaha. That was officially the most preposterous accusation thrown at me since Frances suspected that I was in love with Astrid or since Ken told me that I only claimed I was gay so I could finally break it off with her sister (who was my girlfriend at the time). Hahaha. I’ve always been very touchy with girls and most of them don’t mind because hey, I’m damn gay. But I guess Aila is one heck of a lady to convince.

Yoshke: Even after Daniel (not his real name; an ex-officemate and ex-boyfriend)? She didn’t buy the whole Daniel-Yoshke thing?
Chemae: Apparently not.

It’s funny. I don’t know how many people still think I’m straight when I see myself (and I know Tonet agrees) that I am already as gay as I can be. Either they’re right or they’re blind. Haha.

Aila and Chemae aren’t the only ones. In fact, I also had a similar conversation with my ex-roomie Ethan (not his real name). I’ve always considered Ethan my older brother. I call him Kuya. He’s genuinely straight like the rest of my bestfriends. And he has this “Republican” worldview going on in his head.

Ethan: When will you shape up?
Yoshke: Excuse me?
Ethan: That gay thing. I know it’s just a phase.
Yoshke: I’m telling you this is sooo NOT just a phase.
Ethan: It’s just a phase. Sooner or later you’ll come to your senses and realise everything’s just silly. And then you’ll regret it. And repent. You know, for your soul.
Yoshke: What are you? A priest? And what makes you so sure?
Ethan: Because I know you! This might just be one of your experiments. And even after turning gay, your dreams didn’t change. You still want to have children of your own.
Yoshke: People change, Kuya.
Ethan: No. They just try new things but they don’t change.
Yoshke: A long time ago you said you would never have a gay friend. Here you are sharing a room with one.
Ethan: That’s because I’d known you even before you became like that. And I like you. And to me you haven’t changed.
Yoshke: I have.

I told Glenn (a college friend) about these conversations one night.

Yoshke: Aila, Chemae and my ex-roomie think this is just a phase and I’ll come around. Silly, right?
Glenn: No. I agree with them.

Oh well. What is it with straight people that they’re so hard to convince sometimes?

I’m telling you. This is not just a phase. And even if it were, it had better be a long one because I friggin’ enjoy every minute of it.
image courtesy of cartoonstock.com

Exactly a month ago, I was staying at my brother’s room, watching Pushing Daisies (oh, Lee Pace is just sooo cute I wanna be dead and be touched by him), when my mother came in and said she wanted to talk. Something that never fails to send me to utter discomfort.

Mum: You told your Tita Esther you wanted to study in London?

Tita Esther is my mum’s friend who has just arrived from London. She visited last week and we kinda had a little chat and I kinda told her how much I wanted to study abroad.

Yoshke: Uhm, Er, I might have told her. Yuh.
Mum: You really want to?
Yoshke: Uhm, yeah, a bit.
Mum: Well, you may. I’m letting you.

(more…)

Status: Pissed.
Music: What About Now | Daughtry

I may be gay but I consider myself a gentleman. When riding the train, I usually give my seat to the woman standing in front of me. And when a woman and I happen to enter a building or a store at the same time, I give way and hold the door for her. These things, I do because I believe I am a good person. And of course, whenever I practice such acts of respect and generosity, and as common courtesy suggests, I expect a simple “Thank you.”

If the woman fails to thank me, I usually just shrug it off. Yes, I expect a tiny display of gratitude but I don’t really give a damn if her parents did a terrible job raising her. But what the woman shouldn’t do is screw me after I held the door for her. And that’s exactly what happened last Tuesday.

After walking around Glorietta with my very pretty cousin, I felt the need to check my email. So we headed to Netopia somewhere near Ayala MRT Station. As always, I opened the door for my cousin. Another woman entered as I was holding the door. After I had closed it, I approached the counter. There was an old man logging in so I stood behind him and waited for my turn. This woman approached the counter and positioned herself BESIDE the old man in front of me. She said to the cashier demandingly, “Internet, please.”

At that moment, I knew she was trying to get ahead of me and jump the queue. Two customers who had just arrived stood behind that woman, forming a longer queue.

Seconds later, the man in front of me was logged in and walked away from the counter. Again, the woman said, “Internet, please.” And because I knew what she was up to, I also said to the cashier, “Miss, Internet.”

To my surprise, the cashier reminded me that there was a line and asked me to stand at the end of it. I flashed a joshed look and protested tactfully, “Miss, I am first in line.”

Then, the woman beside me (the one I held the door for) said, “No, I am first here.”

I ignored the woman and said to the cashier, “I was standing behind the man who just left.”

But the woman was insisting, “No, I am first.”

At that moment, I felt my blood reach boiling point. So out of utter rage, I turned to that ugly, little bitch and said, “What the hell are you talking about?! You know I am first in line. I approached the counter first. And my Gawd, I even held the door for you when you were coming in!”

The woman yelled, “No, you’re a lier! You did not held the door for me!”

Believe it or not, I still managed to snicker! But I didn’t mind her grasp of the English language (or the lack thereof). I turned to the cashier and insisted calmly, “Miss, I am first in line. You may have thought this ungrateful woman here was because she kept on saying ‘Internet, please’ even when you were busy entertaining the man who was in front of me.”

With that, she logged me in and gave me a number. I turned around and started to walk away. But that old, ugly witch kept on shouting “You’re a lier. Stop lying!” She went on and on.

Lord, forgive me for having done this. I stopped walking, turned to her, and bellowed “BITCH!!!”

That shut her up. My cousin gave me a tap on the back and uttered smilingly, “Good job!”
…

PS: When I was logging out, the cashier apologized to me and claimed that her co-workers had just told her that I was THE first in line.

image courtesy of bonnvoyage.wordpress.com

Status: Way better.
Music: Feelin’ So Good | Jennifer Lopez

The past few weeks have been a bitch-ass on me. I struggled with tonsilitis, giving me hellish fever and excruciating time eating. For two weeks, I couldn’t get out of bed. The only time I went out of the house was when I decided to see a doctor. After all, this was my fourth tonsilitis this year and my usual meds didn’t seem to work this time. Ah, damn illness loves me so.

Since our family doctor was somewhere in the South celebrating summer, I chose to visit a hospital. My mum went with me and yes, I let her (because that meant she’d be the one payin’ the bills).

When I approached the front desk, it suddenly dawned on me that it was the hospital my ex-girlfriend works at. I prayed she won’t show up (coz I looked hideous). Thank God she did not. Instead, when I entered the emergency room (which also serves as the hospital’s clinic), I was welcomed by a young doctor — A HOTTT DOCTOR.

Life is pretty fair after all, I thought. Haha.

The nurses did the usual stuff — temperature, blood pressure, etc. And then the hot doctor (probably in his late 30s) started asking questions about my condition. He seemed puzzled that I had been taking the right meds but they weren’t working. And then he asked, “Have you been smoking?”

Thank God my mum was busy texting, she didn’t hear a thing. I asked her if she could just wait for me outside because hey, I’m 22.

After kicking my mum out of the room, I told the doctor that I had been smoking. Like any sane doctor, he asked me to stop. He then asked me to open my mouth coz he needed to take a look at my swollen throat. His brows met.

Me: Is it bad?
Doc: Let’s just say I couldn’t see your tonsils. They’re covered with pus.
Me: I’ll take that as “bad.”
Doc: What have you been shoving down your throat? (Rhetorical)
Me: You have no idea.

I grinned. He snickered. Haha. Then he placed his hands on my neck, just below my jaw and started feeling my swollen whatever.

Doc: Does it hurt when you swallow?
Me: Depends on what I swallow.
Doc: Haha. What else is there to swallow other than food?
Me: I meant, it depends on whether what I swallow is hot or cold. Cold, hurts big time. Hot, doesn’t.

(more…)

Status: Oooh, these cute pink earphones…
Music: Who Knew - Pink

Everybody keeps noticing my light pink earphones lately. And they’ve been tormenting me, telling me so blatantly how GAY it was of me to actually own them.

Well, I AM gay. So, what’s their problem?! I don’t get it.

But then again, some of them don’t know about my pink secret yet. So okie, I guess, I get it.

# # #

Last weekend I was with two of my close friends. When Girl (obviously, name changed to protect our friendship, hehe) showed up, my initial reaction was look at Boy. His face was just as sour as mine. We then smiled, almost laughing. It’s because of Girl’s get-up. Girl was wearing a violent pink top and a sky blue skirt. So when Girl went to the washroom, we finally had time to talk about it.

Boy said to me, “Tell her not to stand still or she’d look like an MMDA overpass. Tell her it’s horrendous! Tell her!”

“I can’t do that, ” I protested.

“Why not?”

“My parents raised me right! I only talk about a person behind her back.”

Boy displayed an odd look.

So I added, “It’s called ‘friendship.’”

# # #

Suddenly, I miss an ex-girlfriend. She loves pink. And she has a new boyfriend.

Uhm, I think it’s about time that I also get a boyfriend. Anyone? Hahaha.

..

Status: Delighted
Music: Always Be My Baby - Mariah Carey

Dohna, Peter, and Asta in Matabungkay, Batangas

If there were only one thing that I would never forget about the six-week English camp, that would be the friendship I had with Peter. Peter, or Lee Jeong-Hoon was the brightest kid in that camp. He was consistently the top student. And he was incredibly close to me both physically and emotionally. And right now, of all the students we had in that camp, Peter, definitely, is the one I miss the most.

So I was really delighted when I received this e-mail from him a day after they went back to Korea (this morning, actually):

Hello, Teacher. This is Peter. I’m back home. I’m very happy to meet my family again. Thank you for your kindness when I was in the Philippines. I miss you so much. I wish we will see each other again.
- Peter

I was really thrilled. I’ve had a number of Korean friends before. But Peter is different because he is a kid. I’m not really fond of children, but for some reason, I got really close to him. He is such a sweet kid that I really want to adopt him. I swear.

And it kind of made me laugh. No matter how many times Peter had told me that I was his most hated teacher, or his least favourite, not once that I believed him. I knew he was bluffing everytime. How could I buy something like that when all he was writing about for his Writing Class was me. Nyahaha. The night before they left for Seoul, he told me he would NEVER miss me and that he would NEVER want to see me again. And I told him he did not mean what he was saying because I could feel I was his favourite teacher. *evil laugh* Now, Peter, wherever you are, you’re telling me you miss me so much?! *evil laugh again*

I will soon post my Matabungkay Camp Chronicles when I’m ready to. Meanwhile, bear with me. Hehe.

Status: Starving.
Music: Jesus Take the Wheel - Carrie Underwood

After having a very interesting conversation with Kuya Tops about God, Jesus Christ and faith last night, I found myself thinking about my beliefs again. You know how much I love God but I don’t believe in Jesus’s divinity, which others find a little off and disturbing. I feel like I am a Jew stuck here in the Philippines with all the Christian Catholics looking at me in utter disgust — Oops, you might get me wrong — I’m NOT a Jew. Unknown to my very strict Catholic family, I do not consider myself a Christian. But last night, the conversation we had just made me asking if all my decisions were right.

And so I talked to God, and said:

“Lord, I know Jesus was great and all.
His teachings are all good, all wonderful, almost divine.
But I want to know if Jesus really is divine.
Is he really Your son? Let me know.
Please. Give me a sign.
If tomorrow, when I wake up,
I remember the dream I just had,
then, that’s it, I’ll be a believer again.”

Last night I had a dream that I just remembered the dream that I had had the night before.

Was that it?