Crazy Over the Cup Again | 2010 FIFA World Cup – South Africa

Only three things make me cry — love, death and World Cup.

image courtesy of germany-info.com

Haha, seriously.  I remember myself crying like a baby on the way home from Ateneo when Germany lost to Italy in the semi-final match of the 2006 FIFA World Cup. I also almost fell into depression when they almost became the European champions in 2008, being beaten only by Spain at the finals.

The problem is that I am sooo emotionally attached to my favorite teams (Germany and Spain, but more for Germany). I invest emotions. I spend so much time following them. It’s more obsession than love, really. I feel like I’m part of the team. So when they lose, I crumble. It doesn’t help that they almost always are so close to championshop only to be defeated in the last few minutes.

I haven’t had a decent sleep for almost a week now, trying to be updated with all the World Cup happenings. Last weekend, I spent most of my time watching matches and their repeats. I just can’t get enough. Most of my tweets recently are also about World Cup. Here are some of them:

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First Listen to Christina Aguilera’s ‘You Lost Me’ and ‘Bionic’ Tracks (VH1 Storytellers Leaks with Lyrics)

It seems like Christina Aguilera is going the Stripped way again. Although Christina Aguilera herself had said that her next album Bionic was going to be Stripped 2.0 (with Not Myself Tonight as Dirrty 2.0), it’s only now that two of the tracks from her upcoming album Bionic (out June 8th) that it is confirmed.

You Lost Me, one of the tracks that leaked, reminds me so much of Beautiful, but this time the influence came from Sia and not Linda Perry. The title track Bionic, on the other hand, sounds definitely more funky and more pleasing than Not Myself Tonight in the same way that Dirrty was not the best dance track from Stripped.

Not Myself Tonight obviously went for shock value the way Dirrty did. It’s the single that’s most likely to spark controversy and I must say that it was successful in that department especially now that the provocative, daring music video is released.

Listen to Christina Aguilera’s live VH1 Storytellers performance of the album’s opening track here:

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It has a hard beat but it’s really hard to comment on it since the piece has very low quality (because it was recorded secretly by a fan who was part of the live audience). One thing’s sure, though: it’s really catchy and infectious. I’m just not sure if this is a full song or just an intro. If you’re a Legendtina fan, you know how much Aguilera loves intro tracks in her albums.

Meanwhile, here’s the strings-driven ballad You Lost Me. Listen, listen:

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It’s beautifully epic! It’s about infidelity. The melody and lyrics are haunting. Vocally, as expected, it was powerful but different since Aguilera obviously explored the softer side of her voice here. I love how she sang the “And we-e-e-e-e had magic, and thi-i-i-i-is is tragic” part. Also, the way she sang “You couldn’t keep your hands to yourself” was just damn piercing and sad, yet funny at the same time.

The track was penned by Sia and Christina Aguilera herself. God, it reminds me of the first time I heard Beautiful. Goosebumps. Here are the lyrics although this is still a work in progress. The low quality of the recording makes it hard to understand the words:

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We Walk Like We Rule the World

I have always loved walking. Back in college, I never took a jeepney to go from one class to another even though the next building was on the other side of the UP Diliman campus. If I could walk, I would. There’s just something in walking that is therapeutic. It’s my way of reflecting on my life, planning my day, and squeezing all my creative juices out. Never mind if it takes too much time and effort. It was never tiring.

But one night in February last year, almost 14 months ago, I was walking to the train station from work when I did something I had never done before while walking alone — I smiled. Out of the blue. I smiled. There was an image in my head that triggered it. It was a vision. It was the future.

That night, I met up with you. You were waiting for me somewhere.

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This is the Part Where I Publish Some of Your Letters

I’ve been very unhappy lately. (But don’t worry Shy Guy fans, it’s not lovelife-related, hehe. That aspect of my life is perfect.)

One of the reasons is that my sister was diagnosed with a certain growth in her liver. I’m reminded of the time my dad experienced the same thing until his liver finally took a toll on him. And then, I’m facing a bunch of other problems.

I don’t know. It’s that part of the year again when everything seems to be not going the way I want ‘em to. And whenever I feel down, there’s only one thing that keeps me high — my blog.

I was cleaning up my yoshke.com@gmail.com account, deleting spams and grouping emails together (it’s the obsessive-compulsive in me again), when I found a few emails that really blew all the negative vibes off of me.

You know, when I was just starting out here in the blogosphere five years ago, I never really expected this blog to last this long. I just wanted something on which I would write my heart out — an honest online version of my handwritten journal where I could post what I feel, what I think about, how I live. So receiving emails and Facebook messages from my readers still feel surreal for me.

So since I feel sad right now, allow me to post something self-aggrandizing as I need to reboot my self-esteem.

Here are some mails I have received the past months. (Names changed, though.)

Hey yoshke! I read your blog earlier. I find it good, really. I actually find it great. I’m sending you this mail for no reason all, i just think you need to be commended for your writings. Well, I still cant help but hope that this email is still active.  – Eli

Yoshke: That email is still active Eli! And thank you for your kind words.

Hey Yoshke, I’m your biggest half German half English fan … I hope … anyway … I love your blog . It makes me smile Anyway … Greetings from here in rainy england XD – Henny

Yoshke: Eeeeeeh. I love Germany, I love England. Therefore, I love you so much. Haha.

Hi Yoshke, I’ve been reading your blog. Nice posts. Interesting. Keep writing. I’m your fan now. I always find pleasure checking your blog. hehehe. – JL

Yoshke: Thank you, thank you, thank you.

These emails are from readers in an Islamic country.

Hi Yoshke…

How are you? Let me introduce my self, my name is Bob. I learned about you from your website. Actually, I accidentally saw your website, it’s just because you posted a picture of that hot male model Oli Pettigrew there, and you said sort of what do you think about this boy ? Then I said to my self, yeah, he so gorgeous…, something make me wondering that, “Yoshke is a boy. Why did he put this on his website?”

I really want to be your friend and  if you want it too, because i guess you must be a very great person and have a lot bravery to tell the world that you are gay. I have a lot of friends but i always avoid meeting and hang out with my friends because i worry if they find out my secret.

Yoshke: I can be your friend despite the distance between us. Your situation is sad. I can post gay stuff on my blog because homosexuality in my country is pretty accepted. I do hope you find happiness soon.

Oh my gosh Yoshke, you’re an amazing person from my P.O.V,
I really want to follow your foot steps. I visit your site and i’m so excited when I’m reading your blog. Keep it up!

I hope you’d become my inspiration because i dont have someone i could copy, people around me are all straight and they always demand that I act like one. It’s irritating.

I’m hoping that you would give one or two tips for those gay men who visit your site, and write something that could change how straight people think so they would know how it feels to be different. Thanks. – Buck

Yoshke: That’s a good idea for a blog post. Will surely be writing about it. Thanks for the suggestion.

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Protected: Everyone is Meant for Someone

My Weekend in Still Images

It’s been almost two years since I last visited Palawan. (Most of my dad’s clan have moved to Palawan from Masbate.) I don’t own a digital SLR camera so I just used a simple point-and-shoot cam. I wish I had an SLR one so I could produce richer and better images. (Come on, it’s Christmas! Gimme, gimme! Haha.)

To enlarge, just right-click on the photo and hit View Image (Firefox) or… err… well, I dunno how to do that using Internet Explorer. Haha.

Dee and Don (left), Dee and Yoshke (right)

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EDSA

It could have been a horrible Saturday.

I was in the passenger seat. It was a bit raining.

Normally, EDSA gets on my nerves. That’s why I thank God for the MRT. I may have had more than my share of almost-raped mornings while on it but it’s fast and my flat and office are a stone’s throw from train stations. I abhor travelling across the metropolis if not on the train. Like that night.

That Saturday night, the traffic was more terrible than usual. I don’t drive but I know that EDSA is so not a driver’s paradise road. Wrong waiting lanes. Misplaced U-turn slots. Yellow lanes. Stupid pink barricades. Uncivilised people crossing the road when and where they’re not supposed to. Air pollution. Water pollution (Pasig River). Noise pollution. Bayani Fernando Metro-Gwapo posters pollution. Disgusting urinals. And buses. Fucking buses. Fucking, fucking buses. Fucking, fucking, fucking buses.

Fucking buses.

And it’s always dark. My Geology professors said that Manila is one of the darkest cities in the world. Aaaaah, I just hate EDSA. I hate it, hate it, hate it.

I hate it.

That Saturday night, bumpy EDSA was being its usual self. We spent almost an hour stuck somewhere between Santolan and Cubao.

But he was holding my hand the entire time.

And he kissed me.

Then he looked around and then turned his gaze to me. And he smiled. Looked away. Kept his eyes straight ahead. “EDSA is unusually beautiful tonight,” he said.

It could have been a horrible Saturday. But he made all the difference.

image courtesy of jaydigital of Flickr.com

Congrats, UP Pep Squad!

Yes, this is the part where I try to squeeze in some school pride. Hehehe.

UP Pep Squad grabs the 2008 Samsung UAAP Samsung Cheerdance Competition trophy. Happy, happy. “Matatapang… matatalino… walang takot kahit kanino…”

image courtesy of Teresa Barrozo

Define Euphoria

National List of Passers
2007 FOREIGN SERVICE OFFICER WRITTEN EXAMINATIONS
Held 19-21 December 2007 (Released: 29 August 2008)
Department of Foreign Affairs – Philippines

Gaaawd. Just when I start envying my friends (especially Bebs) for reaching new heights in their careers, something like this comes my way.

From a thousand examinees, now we’re down to 58. (Yeah, the mortality rate in FSO Exam makes us all go suicidal.) I didn’t expect this. I absolutely hoped for it but not expected. I mean, come on, the questions were like:

• Formulate an ECONOMIC policy for the Philippine Embassy in Paris and back it up with a theoretical framework. (I didn’t have any Economics classes in college, thank you very much.)
• Trace the history of the Middle East from the Mesopotamian Era up to the present. (What?! Are you frakkin’ serious? I’m a FILM graduate!)

And there were almost 30 questions. Maybe what they needed was a thesis dissertation prepared within half a day. It was the craziest three days of my life. And knowing I failed to follow some test instructions, I really did not expect anything. In fact, I ALMOST GAVE UP ON IT.

Now, there’s just one more round left. Another 3-day exam. Just one more. I’m gonna need a tuxedo. Haha.

Dahil dyan, magpapa-cheeseburger ako! Burger! Burger!

I am sooo gonna become a diplomat.

Someone’s Happy Today

Status: All right now.
Music: You’re So Vain – Brooke White, All Right Now – David Cook

Me with my cousins. Second pic: Yep, that’s me, leftmost. Gawd, I’ve just noticed that I was holding a green sausage-shaped balloon. Was that a sign? A foreshadowing? Haha.

Exactly a year ago, my family had a little dinner party. We invited some relatives and friends and had some fun. But that’s about it. Nothing really special.

Two years ago, I was so sick. But I was able to travel from Batangas to Manila, and meet some of my friends at the university. I planned to watch Pride and Prejudice with Josh, but I backed out the last minute because my body couldn’t withstand my aching joints and terrible fever. When I felt a little better hours later, I decided to just push through with the movie thing but because Josh couldn’t make it that night, Andre joined me instead. We spent the rest of the night at Figaro.

Three years ago, Josh gave me a Kitchie Nadal album, and we had lunch at Oz Cafe — my treat. We stayed there longer than we intended to. That night, I had dinner with Ayn. I can’t remember where, but I know I gave her a treat.

Six years ago, I saw a movie in a theatre in Lemery with my girlfriend back then, Michi, and some of my friends. Again, I can’t remember what movie we watched that day. But I know I was really, really happy. (It was Pearl Harbor pala.)

Twelve years ago, my mum threw a very lavish party for me at our place in Batangas. Most of my classmates and teachers were present. It was one of the most expensive parties my mum had ever thrown.

Twenty-two years ago, a midwife was pulling me out of my mother’s womb as my Daddy watched. It was a very bloody day.

Yep! Today I turned 22! Happy Birthday to ME!

Honestly, this is the first time since High School that I really anticipated my birthday.

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