Some of the most bloggable conversations I had with friends in the last three years. Allow me to repost them.

WITH MEAN CINEASTES

My friends from the university and I were playing Charades and the theme was movie titles. When an opponent drew Little Nicky, we thought it was a giveaway.

So when he started acting it out for his team, for the first word, he just levelled his palm at his hips and his team shouted Little right away. Hmmm. But Nicky was something less easy.

One of our team members was Monique, also known as Nikki. Monique is not the skinny type. She’s a bit, er… not the skinny type. It didn’t come as a surprise to us when the player who was acting out pointed to Nikki for the second word.

What we didn’t expect was when someone from his team shouted: “Pig? Little Pig?”

And they call me mean? Haha.

WITH A FOREVER-NAIVE FRIEND

A simple talk with a young friend (my ex’s brother) who was so unsure about how he felt.

Ken: How do you know if you’re in love?
Yoshke: I don’t think there are definite standard symptoms. You just know. That’s it. You just know. Why? Are you in love?
Ken: I don’t know.
Yoshke: You’re not in love.
Ken: What makes you so sure?
Yoshke: Cos you don’t know.

WITH MY HALF-FRENCH PSEUDO-BROTHER

This convo I had with Josh on our way to FC Gloria’s Canteen for lunch after our French class the day before my birthday.

Josh: You already got a copy of Kitchie Nadal’s album?
Yoshke: No. But I borrowed a friend’s and listened to it last night.
Josh: How was it? You liked it?
Yoshke: One big NO. I only liked a couple of tracks. The record is rubbish.
Josh: Oh, don’t be so cruel on her. You’d probably appreciate the album more if you listen to it a little longer.
Yoshke: I don’t think so. Only a couple of songs really appealed to me.

After lunch, he handed me something in a white plastic bag.

Josh: Here. It’s my present. Happy birthday. But don’t open it yet. Open it after I leave.
Yoshke: Why? Is it some kind of a bomb or something?
Josh: No. Just open it when I’m gone. Trust me on this one. Happy Birthday.

So, he left and I opened the package and *SURPRISE SURPRISE*

It was Kitchie Nadal’s album. Aaaaw.

WITH A FEMINISM GODDESS

While at Seatle’s Best Katipunan, Tricia and I were talking about how I would always portray women as evil and pathetic in my films. She’s a cold-blooded feminist, by the way.

Yoshke: It’s not that I hate women but if there’s a need for an evil or bad character in my films and I have a choice between a man and a woman, I’ll make sure it’s the woman.
Tricia: And why is that?
Yoshke: Cos I love men. Duh?

Status: Coz I try and try to walk away, but I know this crush ain’t goin’ away…
Music: Crush - David Archuleta

*Don’t cross: Deadly.

Another short conversation with a friend over Yahoo Messenger.

Yoshke: Done reading?
Robin: Aye aye. Sweet. Mushy.
Yoshke: Should I say “Thanks?”
Robin: lol. How come all your short, short, short stories are about friends falling in love?
Yoshke: NOT ALL. Just the ones I post on my blog.
Robin: Tell me, are you in love with a friend?
Yoshke: No.
Robin: Don’t tell me it’s me.
Yoshke: Whoah, is it just me or it really turned windy here in cyberspace?
Robin: Windy in cyberspace? You’re crazy.
Yoshke: And you’re presumptuous! Assuming much?
Robin: So why the fascination?
Yoshke: I just love writing about it but it doesn’t mean I’m in that predicament.
Robin: You’re in love with a friend. Who is it?
Yoshke: I am not.
Robin: Do I know him?
Yoshke: I am not in love with anyone.
Robin: One of your college friends? Office friends?
Yoshke: I will never be in love with a friend. I can’t be.
Robin: Oh, it’s one of those little rules you impose on yourself.
Yoshke: Yeah. And you know, when I like someone, I tell him right off.
Robin: Whore.
Yoshke: I meant, I don’t befriend someone just because I like him. Because once the friendship is drawn, there’s no crossing the line for me.
Robin: What if he’s the one to cross the line?  /:]
Yoshke: A speeding truck will run him over. =))
Robin: lol
Yoshke: You see, next to family, I value friendships the most. And I don’t wanna screw it up just so I could be in a romantic relationship when I can just fall in love with someone else with which there’s no friendship to screw up.
Robin: Man, you ARE in love with a friend.
Yoshke: I am not! And I’m signing out if you say it again.
Robin: You’re in love with a friend.

I am not. Never have been. Never will be. I SWEAR.

…

Last week at the apartment…

Glenn: Do you have a copy of the first three seasons of House?
Yoshke: The first two are with Dohna. You’re addicted, aren’t ye?
Glenn: Yeah. (He paused a bit and then continued talking.) Every time I see Dr. House, I am reminded of you. No offence meant.
Yoshke: None taken. Haha. May I know why?
Glenn: You’re both sarcastic.
Yoshke: Damn, I thought you’d say we’re both brilliant. Hahaha.

Laughter. Silence.

Yoshke: But, you know, it takes wit to be sarcastic. So I’ll take that. Haha.

…

Last year in Robin’s car, on the way to Tagaytay.

Robin: You should make a career out of that.
Yoshke: Out of what?
Robin: Humiliating people.
Yoshke: I don’t humiliate people!
Robin: You just told me that all it would take was just one queer push and I would turn gay instantly.
Yoshke: But I always tell you that.
Robin: Not over dinner. In front of my entire family.
Yoshke: Aright, forgive my occasional lack of tact.
Robin: You meant to say it. You enjoy humiliating me.
Yoshke: Well, it only matters if you think I’m right. And I’m not. (pause) Right?
Robin: Of course not. I can’t believe we’re talking about this.
Yoshke: Er, aright, I’m sorry.
Robin: Don’t say sorry unless you mean it.
Yoshke: I mean it.
Robin: Friendly tip: don’t make a career out of this.
Yoshke: Out of what?
Robin: Acting sincere. You suck at it.

(more…)

“I think you’re 80% straight.”

I was startled by these ridiculous words from my friend Chemae. We were walking back to the cottage at a resort in my hometown in Batangas. The conversation went like this:

Yoshke: Well, that remaining 20% makes me totally gay. 1% can make someone gay, you know.
Chemae: I think in time, you’ll go straight again.
Yoshke: You think so? I doubt that.
Chemae: Aila (our common friend) warned me about you.
Yoshke: Warned you about me?
Chemae: She thinks you’re just pretending to be gay when you are really straight.

Wahahaha. That was officially the most preposterous accusation thrown at me since Frances suspected that I was in love with Astrid or since Ken told me that I only claimed I was gay so I could finally break it off with her sister (who was my girlfriend at the time). Hahaha. I’ve always been very touchy with girls and most of them don’t mind because hey, I’m damn gay. But I guess Aila is one heck of a lady to convince.

Yoshke: Even after Daniel (not his real name; an ex-officemate and ex-boyfriend)? She didn’t buy the whole Daniel-Yoshke thing?
Chemae: Apparently not.

It’s funny. I don’t know how many people still think I’m straight when I see myself (and I know Tonet agrees) that I am already as gay as I can be. Either they’re right or they’re blind. Haha.

Aila and Chemae aren’t the only ones. In fact, I also had a similar conversation with my ex-roomie Tops. I’ve always considered Tops my older brother. I call him Kuya. He’s genuinely straight like the rest of my bestfriends. And he has this “Republican” worldview going on in his head.

Tops: When will you shape up?
Yoshke: Excuse me?
Tops: That gay thing. I know it’s just a phase.
Yoshke: I’m telling you this is sooo NOT just a phase.
Tops: It’s just a phase. Sooner or later you’ll come to your senses and realise everything’s just silly. And then you’ll regret it. And repent. You know, for your soul.
Yoshke: What are you? A priest? And what makes you so sure?
Tops: Because I know you! This might just be one of your experiments. And even after turning gay, your dreams didn’t change. You still want to have children of your own.
Yoshke: People change, Kuya.
Tops: No. They just try new things but they don’t change.
Yoshke: A long time ago you said you would never have a gay friend. Here you are sharing a room with one.
Tops: Because I like you. I’d known you even before you became like that. And to me you haven’t changed.
Yoshke: I have.

I told Glenn (a college friend) about these conversations one night.

Yoshke: Aila, Chemae and my ex-roomie think this is just a phase and I’ll come around. Silly, right?
Glenn: No. I agree with them.

Oh well. What is it with straight people that they’re so hard to convince sometimes?

I’m telling you. This is not just a phase. And even if it were, it had better be a long one because I friggin’ enjoy every minute of it.
image courtesy of cartoonstock.com

Status: Reaching.
Music: Entwined - Jason Reeves

REEVED UP
I am currently addicted to Jason Reeves and his music. Thanks to Berg. I especially liked “Reaching” and “Someone Somewhere.” Cool mixture of folk, acoustic and alternative. He’s absolutely awesome. And don’t just take my word for it, see for yourself and listen well.

SOMEBODY BUY ME THIS ALBUM!!! Come on. Give me a copy of this and I’ll love you forever!

…

ALMOST ROMANTIC
As the hot doctor advised me, I’ve been on 1000 mg of pure vitamin C per day for more than a month now because my body’s relationship with infections and diseases is almost romantic. The funny thing is, I still catch a cold every now and then. (Told ya, it’s almost romantic.) Damn. Sometimes I feel like infections and my body are ganging up on me. (Yeah, like in college, haha.)

…

QUITTING NICOTINE
Since my last tonsilitis, I haven’t touched a cigarette. Er, maybe once. Aright, fine, twice. Twice. Believe me, only twice. Hey, that’s good enough! It’s been two months and I have smoked only two sticks. Er, maybe more.

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Status: Leavin’.
Music: How Far We’ve Come - Matchbox Twenty | This is the Last Time - Keane

I feel cold. I mean that literally. Right now, the cold wind from the air-conditioner is blowing towards my cube as always. Not to mention that I walked from C5 corner Ortigas Avenue, where my sister had dropped me off, to the office (Pearl Drive/San Mig Avenue) early in the morning. Oh yeah, someone was so stupid he walked for 30 minutes in the rain. I don’t know what spirit possessed my body that made me do that but I enjoyed it immensely. Currently, I’m wearing a sweater and I am still shaking. Wuuu.

This is the coldest day since I started working here. Interestingly, today is my last day here. Yep, it’s final. There have been several attempts but this time, I’m really quitting. I already sent my resignation letter two weeks ago. I can’t really explain how I feel right now. A part of me is relieved because I’ve wanted to leave since, er, my second month here. A part of me is sad because, hey, I made a lot of friends here. At the end of the day, it still boils down to money. Would love to have a lot of friends and a lot of money at the same time but the terrible pay here makes it impossible to use the words “happy” and “salary” in one sentence. Oops, I think I just did.

This resignation is also one of my desperate attempts to start a new life. I have no idea why I have been saying “new life” over and over again recently. It’s not as if I’m a drug user or a prostitute and I need to put the past behind. Maybe it’s because I think my life is in disarray now that I need to reassess myself. I need time to reflect and rearrange my cluttered life. Quitting is always difficult. Starting anew is always difficult. But heck, I gotta start somewhere. This is somewhere.

(more…)

Status: All right now.
Music: You’re So Vain - Brooke White, All Right Now - David Cook

Me with my cousins. Second pic: Yep, that’s me, leftmost. Gawd, I’ve just noticed that I was holding a green sausage-shaped balloon. Was that a sign? A foreshadowing? Haha.

Exactly a year ago, my family had a little dinner party. We invited some relatives and friends and had some fun. But that’s about it. Nothing really special.

Two years ago, I was so sick. But I was able to travel from Batangas to Manila, and meet some of my friends at the university. I planned to watch Pride and Prejudice with Josh, but I backed out the last minute because my body couldn’t withstand my aching joints and terrible fever. When I felt a little better hours later, I decided to just push through with the movie thing but because Josh couldn’t make it that night, Andre joined me instead. We spent the rest of the night at Figaro.

Three years ago, Josh gave me a Kitchie Nadal album, and we had lunch at Oz Cafe — my treat. We stayed there longer than we intended to. That night, I had dinner with Ayn. I can’t remember where, but I know I gave her a treat.

Six years ago, I saw a movie in a theatre in Lemery with my girlfriend back then, Michi, and some of my friends. Again, I can’t remember what movie we watched that day. But I know I was really, really happy. (It was Pearl Harbor pala.)

Twelve years ago, my mum threw a very lavish party for me at our place in Batangas. Most of my classmates and teachers were present. It was one of the most expensive parties my mum had ever thrown.

Twenty-two years ago, a midwife was pulling me out of my mother’s womb as my Daddy watched. It was a very bloody day.

Yep! Today I turned 22! Happy Birthday to ME!

Honestly, this is the first time since High School that I really anticipated my birthday.

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Status: I’d walk with my people if I could find them.
Music: Deep Inside of You - Third Eye Blind

Last Friday our team had a party at Lauren’s place as a part of our semimonthly office gatherings. There were lotsa fun, food, and of course booze. Among my officemates, there were only a few people who knew about my sexuality — Bridget, who used to be my classmate in UP; Aika, who is also from UP; Chemae, who said she could be bisexual so I confessed to her, too; and Jon, a straight guy whom I volunteered the information to when we were having a drink two weeks ago. But I’m sure others had a clue. I mean, with all my YM status messages, it was pretty obvious. Perhaps, some were just afraid to ask.

Anyway, back to the party we had a drinking-slash-honesty game called “never-have-i-ever.” In this game, a player says a statement beginning with “never have I ever.” For example, “Never have I ever had sex.” All those who have had sex MUST drink. Then another player says another statement. It’s really a nice way to get drunk, hihi.

My officemates came up with statements like:

• Never have I ever had flunked a Math subject. (I didn’t drink.)
• Never have I ever slept at work. (I didn’t drink.)
• Never have I ever been attracted to anyone in the office. (I didn’t drink.)
• Never have I ever had sex in a public place. (I didn’t drink.)
• Never have I ever had sex with a stranger. (I didn’t drink.)

I thought, Heck, when will I have to drink? And then came Chemae with her very provocative statement:

Never have I ever had sex with someone from the same sex.

I drank. Bottom’s up.

Wow. The reactions varied widely. Disbelief was painted on some of them. I heard a couple of oh-my-gawd’s. Some are shocked. Lauren kept yelling at me (more like cursing, really). Others weren’t surprised at all giving me an “I-knew-it” look. The ones who knew had a grin slashed on their faces. Their eyes glued to the man of the moment — ME.

I said defensively, “What? Whoever said I was straight?!”

Yep, I didn’t tell them about my sexual orientation but I never told them I was straight. Besides, they never asked. “Coming out” to them was not a good feeling. But it wasn’t bad, either. Until now, I’ve been thinking if I did the right thing. Sometimes I think that maybe I should’ve just kept it to myself and enjoy the idea of my colleagues thinking I’m straight. You know, some things are better left unsaid. But it was an honesty game. And I was just being honest.

My sexuality is something that I am not proud of, but I am not ashamed of, either. I don’t usually volunteer the information. I only tell a person when I’m asked. It was never an issue for me (unless when the person asking knows my family or is family).

So far, I still haven’t felt the aftermath of my honesty. That night, there was no tension or friction or discomfort or whatsoever. Heck, they were all drunk. Today that work resumes, I shall know.

One thing is for sure, though: I do not and will not regret the moment that I drank that glass of beer.

image courtesy of euroross.blogspot.com

Status: Wish I’ve done a little bit more
Music: Should Woulda Coulda - Beverly Knight

Wow, I realise that it’s taking me too long to update my blog lately. It’s been a very busy week and it makes me happy. Hehe. Aside from my day job, Tonet and I were able to close a screenwriting deal with an independent film producer. This would be the second full-length script that I sold. If I would continue being able to sell screenplays at the rate I’m going, I wouldn’t even need a day job. So you see, busy means money. Yum, yum.

Anyway, I noticed that it’s been a while since I last talked about my favourite topic in the world: myself. So since most of my readers don’t know me personally, let me tell you a few craps about myself.  

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