It’s still so vivid. One evening in 2007, I sent him a text message, inviting him for a meetup at McDo Philcoa. He said, “Sure. What for? What up?”

I replied, “I dunno. I just missed you.”

A few hours later, I arrived at McDo and I saw him inside waiting for me. I had Chicken McNuggets. He had McChicken, large fries and large coke. He asked me how I was. I said I was great. He asked again why we were doing this. I told him I just wanted to bring back the old days — back when we called our group Bioman. I was Blue 3. He was Green 2.

He laughed. Way before we drifted far apart, we were close friends.

And that night, we stayed there at McDo, just talking about that summer — collecting newspapers and PET bottles from subdivisions, killing time at Vinzon’s Hall, playing games at Sunken Garden, pretending to be Bioman, the music we used to listen to back then, shooting an “Ikaw ang Lahat sa Akin” music video for our film org, and watching “Nasaan Ka Man” with the freshies.

A huge chunk of our time was spent talking about our radio hosting stint at dzUP for Project: Live Sound (Film stuff, Life, and Everything in Between). How they messed up on their first day as DJs. How fun it was. How he would want to do it again.

We even talked about that one time we walked along the Academic Oval while singing M2M’s “The Day You Went Away” out loud.

Yes, it’s so vivid. It was an unforgettable night.

Unforgettable because it was the only night we spent hours alone together. It was the only time I made an effort to revive our lost friendship. It was the last serious conversation we had. The sad fact is, it will never happen again.

So long, my friend. Rest in peace.

Here are some completely innocent statements but my friends’ dirty minds tell them otherwise.

SANAY NA

One very toxic night, I had been editing political ads on my laptop with my small marketing teammates at our apartment FOR HOURS. My friends Dohna, Dane, and Frances were sitting on the airbed while I was on the stairs facing a chair where the laptop was on. There was just no place in the mattress left so I had to sit on the bottom step of the staircase despite the discomfort.

Dohna grew concerned about my situation so she asked, “Yoshke, masakit ba?”

And without thinking, I replied, “Hindi naman. Sanay na ang pwet ko.”

Everyone burst into laughter. I meant I got used to being seated for hours.

PUMAPASOK

Frances, Dohna, Asta, JT, Maikel and I were at Starbucks Shangri-la last Thursday night when we agreed to exchange horror stories. Frances was narrating a horrifying encounter when they stayed in Baguio a few years ago, wherein an old lady was torturing her in her sleep but she was awake and she couldn’t move. More like a case of sleep paralysis.

Frances narrated, “Tapos hindi talaga ako makagalaw. Tapos gusto kong sumigaw pero hindi ko magawa, walang lumalabas na boses. Tapos weird, ang hirap ng i-explain. Alam nyo yung feeling na may malaking bagay na pumapasok sa katawan mo?”

“Oo, alam ko ang feeling nang may malaking bagay na pumapasok sa katawan ko,” I interrupted.

Everyone gave me a look as if saying “You ruined dinner.” Sorry naman. She asked! I just answered. I meant I had the same sleep paralysis experience.

HINDI QUALIFIED

While preparing dinner at the condo a few months ago.

Andre: Pag nagkaroon ng Top Chef Philippines, parang ang sarap sumali. Kaso hindi ako qualified.
Yoshke: Bakit naman?
Andre: Hindi kasi ako “top.”

He meant he’s not that experienced a cook!

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Vice President wannabe Jejomar Binay’s Ganito Kami sa Makati promotional ad-slash-political ad in disguise says a lot about the city he’s running. Whether it’s true or not, I think Makati is one of those cities in Metro Manila that project a relatively positive image to the public. But how about the others?

It’s actually quite funny what kind of impressions some cities have on people. For example, I’m sure you have heard people making fun of Malabon and its Venice-like situation, except devoid of all grandeur. Or how many of us still associate the entire Muntinlupa with New Bilibid Prison as though the prison is all there is in the city.

This post isn’t about Makati, Malabon, or Muntinlupa. It’s about another city in the southern part of the metropolis — Pasay City.

I’ve been told a number of times about the city’s reputation. For example, when I’m going to Pasay and I’m asking my mom or my friends for directions, they would insist that I do not go alone or that I do not bring any valuables. Even my dear  friends from Pasay tell me how frustrated they are with how things go, especially how things are being run.

Is Pasay really that bad? I’m asking coz the only parts of Pasay I go to frequently are the SM Mall of Asia area, DFA, and MRT Taft station.

Here are some instances in which I thought Pasay was used by people around me for their random display of sense of humor.

ANYTHING GOES

Fresh from iBlog Mini at World Trade Center a few weeks ago, Andre and I decided to proceed to SM Mall of Asia to check out the new line of hoodies at Fox Men. We didn’t know where the jeepney terminal was so we started looking for it.

Andre: I don’t think it’s here. Maybe it’s over there?
Yoshke: But we have to cross the road to go there.
Andre: So let’s cross, come on.
Yoshke: Err, wait. Can we? This may be a no-jaywalking zone.
Andre: Yoshke, duh? This is Pasay. There are no rules!

A TALE OF A MISSING COMB

“Where the hell is my comb?!”

Debbie had spent minutes trying to find her comb in the office. This happened two years ago, I was a web writer then. Debbie misplaced her comb and she just could not find it in her cubicle. Out of utter frustration, she talked to herself like she normally did.

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It’s been a while since I posted conversations with Andre. We don’t spend that much time together anymore even though we’re now housemates. Ironic, yeah?

BLIND SPOT

While walking around at a mall:

Yoshke: Uy, nakita mo yung nakasalubong natin? Grabe, he was checking you out! Tingin sya nang tingin sayo!
Andre: Ah talaga? Hindi ko nakita! Gwapo?
Yoshke: Err… Hinde.
Andre: Aaaah… kaya hindi ko nakita.

Aba, may selective blindness!

TOP 3

Shy Guy: Uy Andre, may papakilala ako sa’yo na officemate. Gwapo. Eto Facebook nya.
Andre: Oh sige sige.

Shy Guy showed Andre  the guy’s Facebook profile.

Andre: Ay, bet ko na yan!
Shy Guy: Kaso drop out sya ng UST.
Andre: Ay OK lang yun, drop out din naman ako.
Shy Guy: Eh UP ka naman.
Andre: True. At least kahit drop out ako, yung school ko ay nasa top 3!
Yoshke: Top 3 ng…?
Andre: Top 3 ng Cheerdance Competition! Wahahaha.

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image courtesy of warkitty.com

One December evening in Paranaque, Andre, Dane and I were killing time by solving puzzles that I compiled in my head since I was a little boy. You see, I love solving puzzles and challenging my friends to put their problem-solving skills to a test. It was one of those nights. We spent hours solving the detective stories I throw at them. Mind you, they were very difficult puzzles.

Just before daybreak, Dane said:

Dane: I am used to simple puzzles like the giraffe-elephant-fridge puzzle.
Yoshke: What’s that puzzle?
Andre: OMG! You don’t know that?
Yoshke: No. Everyone else does?
Andre: Yep. So give it a try.
Dane: Alright, Yoshke, in three steps, how do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
Yoshke: Hmmm.

Hmmmmm…

I spend twenty minutes trying to figure it out. When I blurted, “Don’t tell me it’s ‘Open the ref, put the giraffe, and then close it.’”

They laughed their asses off.

Hey, I was expecting a serious puzzle and this silly puzzle just caught me off-guard!

Andre: How about this: In four steps, how do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Yoshke: (confident) (1) Open the door. (2) Move the giraffe aside. (3) Put the elephant inside. (4) Close the door.

Andre and Dane: WRONG!
Yoshke: Seriously? What’s the right answer?
Andre and Dane: (1) Open the door. (2) Take out the giraffe. (3) Put the elephant inside. (4) Close the door.

Yoshke: But I wanted to just move the giraffe aside!
Andre: Well you can’t! You have to remove the giraffe!
Yoshke: WHY?!!?
Dane: Because it won’t fit!

With that, I snapped!

Yoshke: HOW DARE YOU DICTATE HOW BIG MY REFRIGERATOR IS!!! I MANAGED TO PUT THE DARN GIRAFFE INTO IT; OF COURSE IT CAN ACCOMMODATE AN ELEPHANT!

Alright, so I took that puzzle too seriously. Wahaha.

We all love puzzles. Some people can endure trying to solve one puzzle game and not give up even if they end up hating themselves and hitting someone else for failing to solve it.

Whether it’s just a short detective quiz that a friend has shared or a simple anagram or even a mere puzzling question, we always try to solve them and share them with others. Today, most people are going crazy over sodoku, a puzzle originated in Japan and took the world by storm.

image courtesy of sentimentalrefugee.com

Why do most people love puzzles? Maybe it’s because it is human nature to always ask why or how. Maybe it’s because we love the feeling of being up for the challenge. Maybe it’s the sense of pride and accomplishment when we are able to solve one. Maybe it’s because puzzles divert our attention and escape the real world.

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I moved in to a condo unit along EDSA with Shy Guy, Andre, and other friends last Sunday. It was the most intense pseudo-work out I had in years. Transporting appliances and pieces of furniture was so beyond my masculine capacity.

But of course, after everything was set up and decorated, the satisfaction that I got from being in a lovely home a stone’s throw from my office was immeasurable. The view isn’t bad, either. To our left was Ortigas skyline and to our right, Pioneer Street with The Fort in the background.

However, it wasn’t perfect. So not.

For one, the condominium building is along EDSA and our unit is directly facing the violent (and insufferably noisy) tremors of the metropolis. I did not expect EDSA was producing 10 million decibels. Last night was our second night and we still had not gotten any decent sleep.

Every time an ambulance went speeding through the highway, we would wake up. I even wished, “Come on, just let the damn patient die and let us sleep.”

Every time a bus driver hit his horn, we would be sucked out of dreamland and my rage against city buses was multiplied by the number of times they break road rules.

We’d love to close the windows but using the air-conditioner is gonna hurt our pockets. Darn. We better find a way to sleep sound.

…

The night we moved in, after a series of heavy lifting, we had a pig-out session, food courtesy of Andre. I had more than my share. Later that night, Shy Guy was giving me a massage. He started giving my upper back hard pushes. Finally, he worked on my lower back really hard and I farted just like that.

Nabigla ako eh. Sorry naman.

We ended up laughing, talking about farting for the rest of the night.

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A TYPICAL TEXT MESSAGE FROM ANDRE

Just when I thought I had escaped the z00-reminiscent insanity of my friends for the holidays, I received a message like this:

“Waaa. Kumusta naman yung nagdeliver ako ng ham. Sabi nung customer ‘Thank you.‘ Ang sinagot ko ‘Good luck.’ Wahaha. Ang tanga ko lang.”

Wahaha, agree, agree.

A TYPICAL YAHOO! MESSENGER CHAT WITH ANDRE (December 22, 2008)

Andre: Youre not going anywhere naman tonight di ba?
Yoshke: Nope
Andre: Raincheck daw
Yoshke: Huwaaaaat?  si Jerwin?
Andre: Yeah. May sakit
Yoshke: I invited Patti pa naman
Andre: Sa Saturday nalang
Yoshke: Ah aright, kayo na lang
Andre: EEEEEH!!!! Anubaa?
Yoshke: Batangas na ko nun
Andre: Kelan ka balik?
Yoshke:  January 2
Andre: Eeeeeeeeeh
Andre: Yoshke naman ehhhhhhhhhhhh
Andre: YOSHKEEEEEE
Andre: Balik ka dali naaaaaaaaaaa
Andre: Pls plsplspls pls puhleeeeeez
Yoshke: Hindi pede, alangan namang lumuwas ako ng Maynila para lang mag-Sidebar. kumusta yun?
Andre: NO! babalik ka ng maynila to spend the holiday with your friends! it just so happened that the friends are at Sidebar!
Yoshke: I have a family to give a little lovin-lovin to.
Andre:  But we are also your familyyy. Isang araw lang naman ang hinihingi namin sayo.
Yoshke: Oo nga, isang araw lang.  isang maling araw.
Andre: Ah sige. Gusto mo dalawa? Eh di dalawang araw!
Yoshke: Dalawang maling araw, mas hindi pede, bakla kaaa.
Andre: I’ll make you a good deal… Punta ka dito sa sabado. Sidebar tayo. Then the next day, dalhin mo kami sa Tagaytay.
Yoshke. Wahahahahaha….  NO!
Andre: O, maganda yan ha
Yoshke: Hindi ah, dehado ako dun
Andre : Parang hinatid ka na rin namin sa lemery nun
Yoshke: TOMORROW na lang kasi!
Andre: Eeeeeeeh Saturdaaaaaay na lang
Yoshke: Eeeeeh. Dont Saturday me
Andre: Please please please. I’m down on my knees. Begging you please.  Wait, anong kanta yun?
Yoshke: “On Bended Knee” ng Boys 2 Men.
Andre: Haha corek! Ang galing mo talaga. Dahil dyan, balik ka sa Saturday
Yoshke: Andre, stop me! Tigilan ako. wahaha
Andre: Yoshke, Saturday. Kahit yun nalang yung gift mo sakin. Balik kang Saturday.
Yoshke: May gift na ko sayo eh
Andre: SEE? All the more na kelangan mong bumalik sa saturday. para mabigay mo sakin
Yoshke: Andre, malabo yung saturday. sobrang labo nun
Andre: YOSHKE AKO TO!!!
Andre: SI ANDRE!!!
Andre: YOU CANT SAY NO TO ME!!!
Yoshke: NO!
Andre: Sige na nga, tomorrow na lang.

Bibigay din pala. Pinahirapan pa ako.

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Status: Terrified.
Music: Terrified | Kara DioGuardi feat Jason Reeves

• BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ANDRE! It was his birthday last Saturday, February 21. I had a great time at his party despite the migraine. Slept in the couch while the rest were belting out diva and boy band songs. Haha. And Andre, alam ko minumura mo ako habang natutulog. Haha. Tangenamurin.
• I finally got to attend a blogger event! Haha. First time. I was a little nervous, though, coz I never really wanted to attend ANY blog event. Too shy for that. But I was so glad to meet Lio, Jehzlau, Ada, Benj, Coy, Eric, Joms, Fitz, and many others. Waah, sorry, I suck at identifying faces and remembering names. Plus, I spent most of the time hiding behind a sheet of paper.
• I met up with Kuya Ethan at UP Shopping Center last night to get the book he owed me, ehehe. Gaahd, I missed him so much. Hahaaaay.
• The Amazing Race 14 has started. Weeeeeh. So far I like the Asian siblings and the flight attendants. TAR is still my most loved reality show.
• American Idol Season 8. Hmmm. I’ll start blogging about it after the semi-finals. But as of now, Alexis Grace and Danny Gokey get my lovin’. And waaah, Anoop Desai didn’t make it. Wuwuwu.
• Speaking of Idol, in an email exchange, blogger friend Berg urged me to listen to “Terrified,” Kara DioGuardi’s collaboration with Jason Reeves. Well, right now, Kara is my most liked among American Idol judges. And Jason Reeves is looove. And Berg has a really, really great taste in music. So I took time to listen to it, and I was blown away. Here’s a live performance:




And I-I-I’m in love (I’m in love)
And I-I-I’m terrified…
I only said it ’cause I mean it
I only mean ’cause it’s true…

• Aside from the pretty song above, other songs that have been inducing LSS include:
  The Fray’s “Never Say Never”
  Kings of Leon’s “Use Somebody”
  Jesse McCartney’s “How Do You Sleep?”
  Snow Patrol’s “Crack the Shutters”
  Craig David’s “Insomnia”
• Wahaha. I love the recently concluded Oscars. Knew Slumdog Millionaire would win but I would really be happier had it been The Reader instead.
• Kate Winslet made me cry with her shampoo bottle speech. At last, Winslet, at last.
• And Sean Penn, I adore you not just for your excellent portrayal of Harvey Milk but also for your speech:




I think it’s a good time for those who voted for the ban against gay marriage to sit and reflect and anticipate their great shame and their shame in their grandchildren’s eyes if they continue that support. We’ve got to have equal rights for everyone.“ –Sean Penn

• Nicole Kidman speaking and paying tribute to Angelina Jolie was my idea of award-show bliss. Made me giggle a number of times. Anne Hathaway was teary-eyed. Love her.

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ACCUSING DISTRACTION

Tuesday morning. Esan, a brand new co-worker, excitedly told me about someone she used to work with.

Esan: Yoshke! I’d introduce someone to you! You’ll like him. He’s hot  and a real gentleman! His name is ^&%##.
Yoshke: Esan, I’m already seeing someone. I’m a one-man man. I’m one loyal, trustworthy guy.
Esan: Wushooo…
Yoshke: Ano namang tingin mo saken? MALANDI?
Everyone in the office, who, apparently, was listening: OO!

Hala. Sabay-sabay pa.

Singit pa nung isa, “At feeling mo HINDE?” Haha.

Henaku. Hindi naman talaga…

REPEATING DISTRACTION

One boring afternoon at the office.

Yoshke: If I tell you that I can sketch and paint, will you believe me?
Emcy: Yeah.
Yoshke: Eeeeeh. You shouldn’t have said “yes.” I wanted you to say “no.” Then I’d tell you “Yes, I can!”
Emcy: Hahaha.
Yoshke: Hmmm. I hate you! It didn’t go the way I wanted it to. So we’re gonna do it again!
Emcy: Haha. Okay.
Yoshke: Emcy, If I tell you that I can sketch and paint, will you believe me?
Emcy: No.
Yoshke: Yes, I can!

Parang tanga lang kami.

CONFUSING DISTRACTION

Yoshke: Emcy, pabili naman ako ng cupped noodles (or cup noodles?). Nissin ha, Nissin. Seafood flavor. Nissin ha! NISSIN!
Emcy: Ah sige, anong noodles? Lucky Me Supreme?

Anong mahirap intindihin sa sinabi ko. Sabihin nyo saken. Anooo?!?!?!

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