yoshke.com

“I think you’re 80% straight.”

I was startled by these ridiculous words from my friend Chemae. We were walking back to the cottage at a resort in my hometown in Batangas. The conversation went like this:

Yoshke: Well, that remaining 20% makes me totally gay. 1% can make someone gay, you know.
Chemae: I think in time, you’ll go straight again.
Yoshke: You think so? I doubt that.
Chemae: Aila (our common friend) warned me about you.
Yoshke: Warned you about me?
Chemae: She thinks you’re just pretending to be gay when you are really straight.

Wahahaha. That was officially the most preposterous accusation thrown at me since Frances suspected that I was in love with Astrid or since Ken told me that I only claimed I was gay so I could finally break it off with her sister (who was my girlfriend at the time). Hahaha. I’ve always been very touchy with girls and most of them don’t mind because hey, I’m damn gay. But I guess Aila is one heck of a lady to convince.

Yoshke: Even after Daniel (not his real name; an ex-officemate and ex-boyfriend)? She didn’t buy the whole Daniel-Yoshke thing?
Chemae: Apparently not.

It’s funny. I don’t know how many people still think I’m straight when I see myself (and I know Tonet agrees) that I am already as gay as I can be. Either they’re right or they’re blind. Haha.

Aila and Chemae aren’t the only ones. In fact, I also had a similar conversation with my ex-roomie Tops. I’ve always considered Tops my older brother. I call him Kuya. He’s genuinely straight like the rest of my bestfriends. And he has this “Republican” worldview going on in his head.

Tops: When will you shape up?
Yoshke: Excuse me?
Tops: That gay thing. I know it’s just a phase.
Yoshke: I’m telling you this is sooo NOT just a phase.
Tops: It’s just a phase. Sooner or later you’ll come to your senses and realise everything’s just silly. And then you’ll regret it. And repent. You know, for your soul.
Yoshke: What are you? A priest? And what makes you so sure?
Tops: Because I know you! This might just be one of your experiments. And even after turning gay, your dreams didn’t change. You still want to have children of your own.
Yoshke: People change, Kuya.
Tops: No. They just try new things but they don’t change.
Yoshke: A long time ago you said you would never have a gay friend. Here you are sharing a room with one.
Tops: Because I like you. I’d known you even before you became like that. And to me you haven’t changed.
Yoshke: I have.

I told Glenn (a college friend) about these conversations one night.

Yoshke: Aila, Chemae and my ex-roomie think this is just a phase and I’ll come around. Silly, right?
Glenn: No. I agree with them.

Oh well. What is it with straight people that they’re so hard to convince sometimes?

I’m telling you. This is not just a phase. And even if it were, it had better be a long one because I friggin’ enjoy every minute of it.
image courtesy of cartoonstock.com

Status: Way better.
Music: Feelin’ So Good | Jennifer Lopez

The past few weeks have been a bitch-ass on me. I struggled with tonsilitis, giving me hellish fever and excruciating time eating. For two weeks, I couldn’t get out of bed. The only time I went out of the house was when I decided to see a doctor. After all, this was my fourth tonsilitis this year and my usual meds didn’t seem to work this time. Ah, damn illness loves me so.

Since our family doctor was somewhere in the South celebrating summer, I chose to visit a hospital. My mum went with me and yes, I let her (because that meant she’d be the one payin’ the bills).

When I approached the front desk, it suddenly dawned on me that it was the hospital my ex-girlfriend works at. I prayed she won’t show up (coz I looked hideous). Thank God she did not. Instead, when I entered the emergency room (which also serves as the hospital’s clinic), I was welcomed by a young doctor — A HOTTT DOCTOR.

Life is pretty fair after all, I thought. Haha.

The nurses did the usual stuff — temperature, blood pressure, etc. And then the hot doctor (probably in his late 30s) started asking questions about my condition. He seemed puzzled that I had been taking the right meds but they weren’t working. And then he asked, “Have you been smoking?”

Thank God my mum was busy texting, she didn’t hear a thing. I asked her if she could just wait for me outside because hey, I’m 22.

After kicking my mum out of the room, I told the doctor that I had been smoking. Like any sane doctor, he asked me to stop. He then asked me to open my mouth coz he needed to take a look at my swollen throat. His brows met.

Me: Is it bad?
Doc: Let’s just say I couldn’t see your tonsils. They’re covered with pus.
Me: I’ll take that as “bad.”
Doc: What have you been shoving down your throat? (Rhetorical)
Me: You have no idea.

I grinned. He snickered. Haha. Then he placed his hands on my neck, just below my jaw and started feeling my swollen whatever.

Doc: Does it hurt when you swallow?
Me: Depends on what I swallow.
Doc: Haha. What else is there to swallow other than food?
Me: I meant, it depends on whether what I swallow is hot or cold. Cold, hurts big time. Hot, doesn’t.

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Note: This entry was written for Crunkish.com, a really interesting site which features top 10 lists of just about anything. Our team put up the site and I contributed a lot. It’s a really fun site. It is still under construction but if you want to take a peek, knock yourself out.

Being in a relationship is not easy. It is also very unpredictable. One day, you are having the greatest moment of your life with your partner and the next day, you are crying your eyes out. One day, you desperately want to spend the rest of your life with your partner and the next day, you may find your things all packed up out on the sidewalk. Yes, being in a relationship is very difficult. It is much more difficult if you think that your partner is also having affections for the same sex. It may even be the hardest challenge that any couple could deal with.

Figuring out whether your loved one is gay or not is a very tricky business. There are as many types of gayness as there are many gay guys in the world. Some homosexuals want their sexual orientation be known to the whole world. Others are still hiding inside their dark closet, trying to avoid being caught. These men act like ordinary men that you can hardly imagine what their true sexuality is.

If you think your boyfriend is gay, watch out for signs. Most gay people share things that are unique or, at least, distinct to them. You have to remember, however, that these signs are a bit stereotypical. These are not absolute. If you see these signs on your boyfriend, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he is gay or bisexual. Not seeing these signs doesn’t mean that he is not, either. Again, playing detective is a tricky business. But hey, give it a shot. Here are the top 10 signs that your boyfriend belongs to the fabulous federation.

10. The Bathroom Rituals

Pay attention to his grooming habits. Notice how he meticulously does his hair. Try to find out how he chose the grooming products he owns. An average guy doesn’t care about what brand or what type of products he uses. Is he particularly interested in top designer shoes and other accessories? Another warning sign is the time he spends inside the bathroom. If he takes longer than you do, that may be a sign that he is playing for the other team.

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Status: I’m gonna smile coz I deserve to.
Music: Better in Time / Yesterday / Bleeding Love - Leona Lewis

Last night, I was locked out of the house again. (I know, my silly keys are so stupid they like to stay inside while I’m out.) As I was waiting for my roommate, I started thinking about the men I have had an emotional connection with since I came out in college. While many of these guys I still see and hang out with every once in a while, some of them I haven’t had a chance to talk with in a very long time.

I also realised one thing: I’m not a fan of second chances. When a part of something is messed up, I tend to throw it all away. Hahaaaay.

Anyway, here are the things I want to say to these people whom I want to thank for making me feel happy for a period, albeit very short. (I’m sorry, I will not drop names. Haha.)

- O - -
No two men could be closer than we have been. You taught me a lot of things. You opened my mind to a multitude of new ideas and experiences. We were friends. We still are. People ask me if we had something romantic going on back then. I don’t know. I certainly did not think we had more than friendship although there were too many times you made me feel that I was more than a friend. They say that not knowing is the worst feeling in the world. But in this case, I’m happy not knowing if we really had something. I loved what we had, whatever it was.

- - A - -
Why? What happened to us?

- - - E - -
You brought me the most intense pain. You say you suck at saying sorries? Even if you did apologise earlier, I don’t think it would have made a difference. Sometimes, sorry doesn’t make things better. Sometimes, sorry is just plain annoying.

- E - - -
You are sooo last year. We had it. We lost it. We’ll see each other again this weekend and I hope there will be no damaging awkwardness.

- - - O
I’m sorry I lied when you asked me. Try again. Please try again.

- O - - - -
Maybe one day. But not today. Not anytime soon.

A - - - -
You have no idea. You have no idea.

- - A - - -
Just hang in there. Don’t disappear.

- - - I -
Maybe it was just really a bad time. I have made up my mind. I will not wait. I know I said I would but I changed my mind. I ain’t going to. Anyway, we’re good.

image courtesy of pro.corbis.com

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I have moved this entry HERE.
Click here to see the top 10 signs that your boyfriend or husband is gay.

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