Status: Pissed.
Music: What About Now | Daughtry

I may be gay but I consider myself a gentleman. When riding the train, I usually give my seat to the woman standing in front of me. And when a woman and I happen to enter a building or a store at the same time, I give way and hold the door for her. These things, I do because I believe I am a good person. And of course, whenever I practice such acts of respect and generosity, and as common courtesy suggests, I expect a simple “Thank you.”

If the woman fails to thank me, I usually just shrug it off. Yes, I expect a tiny display of gratitude but I don’t really give a damn if her parents did a terrible job raising her. But what the woman shouldn’t do is screw me after I held the door for her. And that’s exactly what happened last Tuesday.

After walking around Glorietta with my very pretty cousin, I felt the need to check my email. So we headed to Netopia somewhere near Ayala MRT Station. As always, I opened the door for my cousin. Another woman entered as I was holding the door. After I had closed it, I approached the counter. There was an old man logging in so I stood behind him and waited for my turn. This woman approached the counter and positioned herself BESIDE the old man in front of me. She said to the cashier demandingly, “Internet, please.”

At that moment, I knew she was trying to get ahead of me and jump the queue. Two customers who had just arrived stood behind that woman, forming a longer queue.

Seconds later, the man in front of me was logged in and walked away from the counter. Again, the woman said, “Internet, please.” And because I knew what she was up to, I also said to the cashier, “Miss, Internet.”

To my surprise, the cashier reminded me that there was a line and asked me to stand at the end of it. I flashed a joshed look and protested tactfully, “Miss, I am first in line.”

Then, the woman beside me (the one I held the door for) said, “No, I am first here.”

I ignored the woman and said to the cashier, “I was standing behind the man who just left.”

But the woman was insisting, “No, I am first.”

At that moment, I felt my blood reach boiling point. So out of utter rage, I turned to that ugly, little bitch and said, “What the hell are you talking about?! You know I am first in line. I approached the counter first. And my Gawd, I even held the door for you when you were coming in!”

The woman yelled, “No, you’re a lier! You did not held the door for me!”

Believe it or not, I still managed to snicker! But I didn’t mind her grasp of the English language (or the lack thereof). I turned to the cashier and insisted calmly, “Miss, I am first in line. You may have thought this ungrateful woman here was because she kept on saying ‘Internet, please’ even when you were busy entertaining the man who was in front of me.”

With that, she logged me in and gave me a number. I turned around and started to walk away. But that old, ugly witch kept on shouting “You’re a lier. Stop lying!” She went on and on.

Lord, forgive me for having done this. I stopped walking, turned to her, and bellowed “BITCH!!!”

That shut her up. My cousin gave me a tap on the back and uttered smilingly, “Good job!”
…

PS: When I was logging out, the cashier apologized to me and claimed that her co-workers had just told her that I was THE first in line.

image courtesy of bonnvoyage.wordpress.com

Status: I’d walk with my people if I could find them.
Music: Deep Inside of You - Third Eye Blind

Last Friday our team had a party at Lauren’s place as a part of our semimonthly office gatherings. There were lotsa fun, food, and of course booze. Among my officemates, there were only a few people who knew about my sexuality — Bridget, who used to be my classmate in UP; Aika, who is also from UP; Chemae, who said she could be bisexual so I confessed to her, too; and Jon, a straight guy whom I volunteered the information to when we were having a drink two weeks ago. But I’m sure others had a clue. I mean, with all my YM status messages, it was pretty obvious. Perhaps, some were just afraid to ask.

Anyway, back to the party we had a drinking-slash-honesty game called “never-have-i-ever.” In this game, a player says a statement beginning with “never have I ever.” For example, “Never have I ever had sex.” All those who have had sex MUST drink. Then another player says another statement. It’s really a nice way to get drunk, hihi.

My officemates came up with statements like:

• Never have I ever had flunked a Math subject. (I didn’t drink.)
• Never have I ever slept at work. (I didn’t drink.)
• Never have I ever been attracted to anyone in the office. (I didn’t drink.)
• Never have I ever had sex in a public place. (I didn’t drink.)
• Never have I ever had sex with a stranger. (I didn’t drink.)

I thought, Heck, when will I have to drink? And then came Chemae with her very provocative statement:

Never have I ever had sex with someone from the same sex.

I drank. Bottom’s up.

Wow. The reactions varied widely. Disbelief was painted on some of them. I heard a couple of oh-my-gawd’s. Some are shocked. Lauren kept yelling at me (more like cursing, really). Others weren’t surprised at all giving me an “I-knew-it” look. The ones who knew had a grin slashed on their faces. Their eyes glued to the man of the moment — ME.

I said defensively, “What? Whoever said I was straight?!”

Yep, I didn’t tell them about my sexual orientation but I never told them I was straight. Besides, they never asked. “Coming out” to them was not a good feeling. But it wasn’t bad, either. Until now, I’ve been thinking if I did the right thing. Sometimes I think that maybe I should’ve just kept it to myself and enjoy the idea of my colleagues thinking I’m straight. You know, some things are better left unsaid. But it was an honesty game. And I was just being honest.

My sexuality is something that I am not proud of, but I am not ashamed of, either. I don’t usually volunteer the information. I only tell a person when I’m asked. It was never an issue for me (unless when the person asking knows my family or is family).

So far, I still haven’t felt the aftermath of my honesty. That night, there was no tension or friction or discomfort or whatsoever. Heck, they were all drunk. Today that work resumes, I shall know.

One thing is for sure, though: I do not and will not regret the moment that I drank that glass of beer.

image courtesy of euroross.blogspot.com

Status: We don’t fight fair
Music: The Takeover, The Break’s Over - Fall Out Boy

I can’t help noticing that since it takes me too long to update this blog, my entries get lengthier and lengthier. Uhm, I hate lengthy posts. I know they can get boring sometimes, so don’t worry, I promise that this one is not gonna be lengthy.

I was supposed to update this last night, but I got home at 3:30am, too tired to actually do anything but visit dreamland. Uh.

###

BLUSH, BABY, BLUSH!

One weird thing about me is that I easily blush. And whenever I do, it’s so obvious. I really turn red. I blush every time I feel embarrassed, ashamed or nervous. If I’m keeping a secret, say for example, the identity of this Mr. Perfect, you can easily know without me saying anything just by guessing who he really is. If you mention his name, I will surely blush right at that moment. And then, you’ll know.

Last week, I was gorging on some meal with a friend when my Mr. Perfect greeted me. My friend said I turned red instantly. Good thing my Mr. Perfect didn’t notice. (Or so I think.)

The other night, my friends were just talking about something, teasing me when I turned red. I couldn’t do anything but cover my face with my jacket or I’d have looked terribly stupid.

When I was in college, my friend Icang used to tell me how I would look silly when the person I admired so much back then was around. I would turn incredibly red.

And it’s not just blushing. When I blush, it’s like it comes with the whole package. I stutter, I get clumsy, and I act weird. Things I have no control over.

Heck, I need to do something about it. I know some of my readers are registered nurses so my educated guess is that you know the human body better than I do. Is there any way I can prevent blushing and other physiological manifestations of emotional geysers? Please, I need it right now. I don’t want to get myself in deep shameful shit.

How about you? Do you blush often? Or am I just really, er, abnormal?

###

THE DAYS BETWEEN TODAY AND BECOMING-A-DIPLOMAT DAY

My friends have been asking me how I find my new job as a writer. They ask me if it’s fulfilling. And of course, I have a default answer. “I don’t need a fulfilling job right now. The only job that will give me fulfillment is being a diplomat. And until I become one, I don’t need to feel fulfilled. I just need to feel happy.”

And now, the question is, “Am I happy?” Hmmm. I’m relatively happy. The job is not as easy as I thought. Actually, it is. But it’s pretty stressful, too. My work runs from 7am to 4pm, and after office hours, you’ll find me in an arcade or bowling alley in Megamall just to get rid of the stress I have accumulated the whole day. Very, very high school.

I only have a few people that I get along with in the office — Bridget and Aika (whom I always go out with), Dana, Kristel, Paul and Jon (whom I always spend my cigarette breaks with). It’s funny because Christian, who sat next to me, had already quit the job for a Marketing position for some company — the jobs I turned my back on for this job.

Last Thursday, I got a call from another company offering me a position in Advertising and Promotions. You know how I used to hate the culture in the advertising field. Aika and Bridget told me to grab the chance. I did not. I was afraid their offer would be better than my current company, and would tempt me to quit this early for a better job. That’s just silly. I have just started and I’d be quitting that fast?

Anyway, I think I’m enjoying. I just wish that the Department of Foreign Affairs would release the second exam’s schedule soon.

###

MISTAKEN FOR SOMEONE ELSE, HUH?

Last night, I was to meet my officemates Bridget, Aika, Dana, and Jon for a little drink. On my way to our meeting place from Shangrila Mall, I walked past EDSA Shangrila Hotel. One block away from me was this man in his early 30s, in his long-sleeved polo and blue tie. It was 7:30pm. As I continued walking, I began noticing that he was looking at me. And as the distance between us got shorter and shorter, he wouldn’t look away. He just maintained that eye contact that made me feel very uncomfortable. Two metres between us, he smiled.

I had a good look at him. Yep, thirty-something. Neat. Tall. Nice eyes. A little chubby. Very masculine but his aura sent signals of certain pinkness. Not overly handsome but cute. I continued walking.

In the middle of the pavement, I looked back. There he was standing still in front of the hotel, looking at me. And then he raised his hand and waved. I stopped walking. He ran towards me.

One metre between us, he stopped. He said, “Oh, I’m sorry. I think I’ve mistaken you for someone I know.” He flashed that gorgeous smile again.

I laughed a little, “A’right.”

And then, he stepped a little closer and said…. Oops, uhm, I’m sorry. Gawd, I’m doing it again. This post is long enough. I can’t write any longer. I promised you I would not post lengthy entries anymore. So, a’right, I better stop here. So there. Bye for now. Hehehe.

images courtsy of ryan-design.com, margomilne.com, and blogoscoped.com

..

Status: What a humid day. Whew.
Music: Candyman - Christina Aguilera

When they said that they’d be bringing the greatest show to be staged in the country in years, they weren’t exaggerating. The concert was fantastic. I know this post is a bit late, and a lot has already been written about the concert, but I still want to blog it. You know, to remember, in the future.

Weeks before the big night, I was desperately looking for someone who could go with me to that concert but it was tough. Everyone wished to go, and would go had the tickets been not that costly. Until I finally brainwashed a high school friend, Isa, into going with me. We met up in Makati and planned to just take a cab to The Fort (Bonifacio Open Field) in Taguig. Before we left, she was “warned” by a colleague of hers that Christina gets tired easily and her singing suffers after a short while. I just shook the comment off.

Christina opened the show with Ain’t No Other Man. And I just couldn’t believe I was already seeing her perform live. I knew she was great, but I never expected she was DIVINE. I had several goosebumps attack. The first was when she performed Slow Down Baby, one of my two most loved tracks in the album. The other one was Understand. But it didn’t have any massive effect on me that night for she sang it so soon. I was also hoping she would perform some of her old songs from her teeny-bopper days to her bitchy ones. And I wasn’t disappointed.

The theme of the concert was 1930s-60s (?), of course, and it was nice how they were still able to perform Come On Over Baby (tango-like, jazzy, whatever) and What A Girl Wants (no idea what arrangement that was, but it was great and funny) without breaking the theme.

But there was a sudden change of theme halfway. The first part was the vintage theme and all she wore were all white. The second part was very wild, colourful, and grandiose: circus. And man, did I adore the production. It was magnificent. She was handcuffed on a target board, then she was riding a carousel horse, yadda yadda. It was crazy! She was really having a great time, and we were, too.

When drunk navy guys (dancers) emerged chanting “Tarzan and Jane swingin’ on a vine,” the place was almost destroyed with the fans’ tremendous hollering. For starters, those male dancers were oh-so-sexy. To be honest, before that concert, Candyman was not one of my favourites. But after her performance, I realised it was an incredibly fun song. She also performed Dirrty to which everyone was singing along, and as she was dancing there, I noticed someone in the background setting up a couch, and I knew right then that the next one was gonna be Lady Marmalade. It was one of the best parts of the show.

And the best part of the evening? Beautiful. The most beautiful moment was when she performed Beautiful and everyone was singing with her, raising and swaying our arms together. It was sooo moving. I almost cried. Not because I could relate to the song (but maybe I did or do) but because I just couldn’t believe that my most favourite female artist was singing my most favourite record of hers. Gawd.

I laughed everytime the crowd went crazy each time Christina belts out something. But damn, she really deserved all those cheers and applause. Although I was a little disappointed that she didn’t perform her songs which are her biggest hits in the country Genie in a Bottle, I Turn to You, and A Voice Within, I just said to Isa, “My night’d be complete if she would just sing ‘Fighter.’” She did. It was her last song. I was the happiest fan in the world. And then she shouted, “Mahal Namin Kayo!” (”We love you!”) Wow. I swore I could see angels coming down from heaven — NOT. But it was close. Hehehe. Man, I love her.

After the show, I told Isa, “Whoever said she gets tired easily.”

Status: Joyful
Music: Signal Fire - Snow Patrol

I just arrived straight from Grill Queen in Teachers’ Village where I had my dinner with a really good friend Josh de Beauvoir. It was my first time to see Josh after more than seven months! The last time we met up was when we had dinner together some time in (early) November. To be completely honest, I really missed him. Although we weren’t from the same college or department, and we were only classmates in one subject (French 10), we were very, very close. In fact, I’ve considered him as one of my most-loved university friends, to the extent that I had treated him as my little brother. He was sooo childlike and innocent (but his mindset had always been mature), then. Now, he’s grown — confident and independent. (more…)

Status: Ecstatic
Music: Save Me from Myself - Christina Aguilera

It’s confirmed: Christina Aguilera is coming to the Philippines for a concert on July 6 at the Bonifacio Global City Open Field.

Tickets to Christina Aguilera’s concert are priced at P7,350 for VIP seats, P3,675 for patron and P1,050 for general admission. Special discounts will be given to Globe subscribers.

Tara. Nood tayo. Heto na ang pinakahihintay ko! Waaaaah!

Photo courtesy of aokeevents.com

Status: Sober
Music: Shake it Off - Mariah Carey

MJ, Yoshke and Issa somewhere along Baywalk

I was starting to complain about my Saturdays. It slowly got boring and everything sort of became a part of a routine. Though I’m glad I was able to make new friends (Helen, Shiena, Miel, Luke) and basically we have the same interests, my Saturdays never really reached the “exciting” level. It was always “just fun,” and “ok.” Not that there’s something wrong with my new friends. I’m just not used to going to school on a Saturday, and you know, school days are routine days. Flashback to two years ago when I would always go to Tagaytay to breakaway and wind down, or just do something new or different after a week of university hell. Pfffft.

But yesterday was a different Saturday. Although I didn’t intend to, I was able to break the cycle. I woke up at 7:30 and found Helen’s SMS message telling me that she was sooo lazy she won’t be coming to class. And since sloth is really doing its best climbing up my Seven Deadly Sins Chart, I decided, “What the heck?! Helen is not coming to class, and since the topic this morning might be the most boring subject Father Time has ever seen, I might as well not show up.” And I didn’t. Hehe. I slept again, woke up at 10, stepped into cyberspace, and found that my site was down, and did a little repairing. It was my first time to snob a Foreign Service class. Ahehehe.

(more…)

Status: Booze? Where?
Music: When I Get You Alone - Robin Thicke

Three fireworks displays. Three consecutive nights. I love’t. Haha. The past couple of nights, there were fireworks displays in our village for our fiesta. But both lasted for less than ten minutes. Just an hour ago, while on my way to Quezon City from Batangas, I was on the Skyway when the fireworks display in Makati started. I didn’t know exactly how long it lasted but it’d gotta be more than 20 minutes. It was a fantastic view from the Skyway. Coming from three(?) different spots in Makati, the fireworks were amazing. Until now, I still don’t know what the celebration is for. Doesn’t matter really. It’s one fantastic night.

It was my first time to see a Battle of the Bands the other night. And I didn’t just “see” it. I was a judge. I didn’t know what’d gotten into them for choosing me as one of the judges but I was just glad they did. Hehe. It was an amazing night (although it did become boring at some point). It was a night filled with rock music (and sometimes pop), (free) booze, and sexy chicks. It really was one hell of a night. The real shocker of the show was one competing band composed of kids. And by kids I mean 13-year-olds. And the songs they performed were all nationalistic. Wow. They only got the fifth prize but they were really awesome (at least for their age). And oh, one of my fellow judges (the one sitting beside me), Nathan, looks like Gael Garcia Bernal so much. Hmmm….

*with apologies to Dohna Sarmiento and Glenn Ituriaga

Status: Dangerously Hungry
Music: Makes Me Wonder - Maroon 5

Nigel Barker visits Manila. And Ayn, Dohna, Tez, and I were there to show some hospitality and lovin’. If Nigel Barker doesn’t ring a bell, OK, let me tell you that he’s a celebrity photographer and the British bashing (and dashing) judge on America’s Next Top Model. I actually didn’t know he was here until Dohna sent me a text message forcing me to go to Greenbelt with her. And being the kaladkarin that I am, pumayag naman ako despite the rain and very humid atmosphere. While at the train station, we came across Tez who was about to go home but we managed to do a little brainwashing on her. The program was less than an hour but it was very, very substantial. Nigel made a lot of sense and imparted several useful practical tips on fashion photography. And not to mention he was cute. At least his lips were.

I’m being a glutton nowadays. I eat a lot. I usually find myself craving for something. Two days ago, I was desperately wanting sandwiches. And yesterday, while having lunch with Shiena, Luke, and Helen (my friends from Ateneo review classes), I was crazy over sausages. Yes, sausages — food. Not the other thing you have in mind. Though I wasn’t able to have sausages for lunch yesterday, I got a bunch in the evening. Yum yum. And lately, I’m always hungry.