I never expected I’d be writing you this letter. We’ve had four years of wonderful memories but I’m afraid it had come to the point where you started to break my heart. I should’ve seen it coming since I’ve been finding it hard to breathe lately. It’s time to end the pain that I’m feeling and I just have to say goodbye. I will truly miss you.

I’ve known you since I was a kid but it was only before my college graduation that we had a real relationship. At first, it was difficult for me to get along with you considering the nasty things some people say about you. They said you would hurt me, and you did. They said, if I continued spending time with you, it would be so hard to let go; it was.

True, you are all the bad things they were saying. Still, I accepted you. I let you get to me deep within. You’re smokin’ hot. I loved the feeling of your body in my mouth. I loved it when my lips touched your butt. You taste like euphoria. You reek of obsession.

(more…)

Una sa lahat, gusto ko lang isingit na ang hot ni Dennis Trillo sa mga Soda Man pictures nya.

Yun lang. Haha. Hindi sya related sa entry na ‘to. Pero gusto ko lang i-post. Bakit ba?

…

One of the most irritating things in life has to be waking up early so you could come to work on time but you get stuck at some MRT station because the platforms can’t contain passengers anymore, and the train stops even in between stations because the train ahead is also stuck, and you stand beside a guy who keeps chewing — oh no, not just chewing — popping* his gum!

And surprise, surprise, you’re an hour late. Pfffft.

Mantra for the day: Life is good, life is good.

…

But it’s not just this morning. The entire week has not been kind to me, either.

The restroom kept calling me! For four days, my tummy had been tormenting me, urging me to let go of the nasty load I was carrying inside me.

Warning: Graphic language and psychological violence.

(more…)

“Isn’t Dad enough? Isn’t Dad enough?”

Whenever I’d face God for a little conversation, this was all I could tell him. “Isn’t Dad enough?” And in between words were cries of anger and sighs of disappointment.

But now, after the successful surgery yesterday and knowing that cancer never really hit second base, my prayers are composed of two words. “Thank you.”

I already lost a parent to cancer, I won’t give up the other to the same killer. Never.

…

Dear cancer,

You failed to get my mother. Just her boobs. Enjoy.

We won.

Now, fuck off and stay away from my family.

Pfffffbt!

…

On the way to my apartment last Tuesday morning, I suddenly became the victim of a hit-and-run somewhere along Kamuning Road. It wasn’t a major accident but DAMN.

My left foot got run over by a black car. (Was I cursing in Arabic?)

My left arm was also hurt. Got a wound on my elbow.

Failed to see the plate number. It was fast. Asshole driver. The light was RED!

But I believe in Karma. And I know there’ll be damnation for the driver. I am leaving it up to St. Peep Peep, the patron saint of hit-and-run victims.

…

I was climbing the stairs to the North Avenue Station of MRT yesterday morning when I tripped on my toe and fell almost flat on my tummy. My face on the floor.

Cue: “Clumsy coz I’m falling in looove…” (Fergie)

But I won’t blame love really. Blame the frakkin’ driver of the frakkin’ car that ran over my frakkin’ foot.

…

Oh, allow me to be a bit narcissistic, answer my FriendTest. Hehehe.

And please help me do my job well. Answer the POLL question of the week on the sidebar. It’s work-related. Thank you very much.

My foot still hurts. Dammit.
*image courtesy of gannsdeen.com, risintide.org.uk

Status: Perfectly functional.
Music: Smack into You | Jon Mclaughlin

• Wow, time flies. January has only a few days left.
• I still got tonsilitis. Dammit. But it’s aright, I’m completely functional. Just that my breath smells like a slice of durian you trap in a jar for a week and then you open it and voila… welcome to Payatas. Yaaak.
• So now I’m in Batangas with my family. Yesterday, I was in Tagaytay. And it was COLD. I know what you’re thinking. “Come on, it’s Tagaytay, of course, it’s cold. Duh?” Well yeah, but not that cold. I’m always there. Thanks to its proximity to our house here. But it was really cold.
• And I realized that listening to my dear Jon Mclaughlin’s album “OK Now” in a freezing weather is therapeutic. I’m starting to think that I’m only getting better coz of it. (Yeah, screw antibiotics! Men are THE cure! It’s always men!)
• It’s Sunday! My favorite day. And it’s not because of the church. It’s Philippine showbiz, baby. Sunday means ASAP 09 and The Buzz. Haha. I looove seeing Ruffa Gutierrez and Kris Aquino bickering on POV (Points, Opinions, Violent Reactions). Gaaawd. They really HAVE to replace Boy Abunda. When he sits in between Ruffa and Kris, he’s getting blander and lamer and uglier by the second.
• Been hooked to Tayong Dalawa. Ehehe. Fantastic ensemble. Even Gerald Anderson is impressive. Sana may quotable quotes din like Iisa Pa Lamang, haha.
• Andre, Dohna, Ayn, and I are planning to go to Thailand. And Cambodia. And Vietnam. Later this year. Yay! Me excited. Eeeeeeeh.
• I’ll be posting my Oscar predictions. But I need to watch all the nominated films first. But even though I’ve only seen a few, my heart already belongs to one film — The Reader. I worship Stephen Daldry. I pray to him before and after every meal. (Char!) And as my friend Ayn pointed out, he has made only three movies, but all of them are Oscar-nominated. (The others being Billy Elliot and The Hours.) I might change my mind after I’ve seen all the films, though.
• In a bit more than a month from now, I’ll be turning 23. But I can still barely say I’m a grown-up. It hurts to grow. It hurts to grow.

I’ve been sick since Monday. Tonsilitis again. Last year, I had this seven (or eight?) times. Gaaaah. Told ya, the relationship between infections and my tonsils is almost romantic. They love each other sooo much, they might elope in the near future. But if there’s any consolation, I’m losing weight FAST! Yay for that.

Anyway… Guess who’s back!!!

BECAUSE TEPID RAIN ISN’T FROM HEAVEN

One night, I was in the middle of a barren land. A few months before, it was a cane field. Then my childhood started playing in my head again. This was were my brother and I ran kites. This was were my friends and I played softball. This was were I used to kick my football around on. But this time was different. It was a cold evening. And it was raining. And I was happy. I haven’t walked in the rain in a long, long time.

Something was wrong, though. The water was warm.

And I woke up. It was a dream. I opened my eyes. And there was my nephew. Standing on the bed. Peeing. Sleep-peeing. On me.

Cue: Abba, “…I’ll cross the stream. I have a dream….”

BECAUSE GLOATING IS FUN

If there’s one thing that my nephew didn’t get from me, that’s shame. I have always had a strong sense of shame since I was a baby. (Yeah, I never made dede in public. Haha. Weh?)

My nephew, on the other hand, does what he wants when he wants it. Like dozing off. NEVER have I ever slept at the workplace or at school. But my nephew, gaah, his classroom is his bedroom. He finds it comfy. And no matter how hard his Teacher Janna tries, he always uses Science class hour for his nap time.

So when his first Periodic Exam came last August (?), I was a little scared for him. When we passed the gates of his school, he was greeted by many of his classmates’ parents with disheartening remarks. One of them even asked my nephew sarcastically, “Oh, how are you gonna pass this test when you always sleep your way through the classes?”

I couldn’t reply. Wait there, you old hag; I’ll come up with a sinister, condescending comment, I thought. But I couldn’t. No condescending comment was thrown. I was not sure how he was gonna make through this exam, either.

When the exam was over, I asked my nephew how it was. He shrugged, “It’s okay.”

The next day, I was waiting for my nephew’s class to finish. Apparently, the papers had been checked and the results were out.

(more…)

Men and women have different biological structures and needs. Hence, they need different food to keep them healthy. The truth is, men know exactly which foods to eat and which ones to avoid. The only problem is that temptation is too delicious to resist.

However, if you can’t help eating, then at least, eat right. You’ll be surprised that some of the most healthful foods for men are readily available. Here are ten of them.

10. Tomato Sauce

If you love eating tomatoes, tomato sauce or pizza covered with lots of it, you may be doing yourself a favour. Harvard researchers who studied the eating habits of over 47,000 male health professionals found that men who ate tomato sauce up to four times a week has 35 percent lower risk of getting prostate cancer than those who ate none. This is said to be caused by lycopene, a carotenoid that tomatoes have in abundance. However, it must be noted that lycopene is best absorbed when cooked. Thus, eating pizza might be healthier than gorging on fresh tomatoes after all.

9. Berries and Cherries

Berries and cherries are not just delicious; they are healthy, too, especially the blue, violet and red ones. These little tastebud-pleasers contain a truckload of anthocyanin, a health-protecting flavonoid. You will be surprised to know that these little wonders do not just contain vitamin C but also more than 4,000 different compounds that all have antioxidant properties.

Aside from fighting diseases, they may even slow down the decline in some of brain functions that accompany aging. In fact, they can even enhance brain function and keep it healthy. There is also no need to be worried about your weight because these are low-calorie fruits. So make sure you have strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, raspberries and cherries in your diet.

8. Bananas

Yes, B-A-N-A-N-A-S! If you want a great source of energy, bananas are what you need. Aside from that, bananas can help your body regulate heartbeat, nerves and above all, blood pressure because of their high potassium content. Potassium-rich diets can reduce the risk of stroke.

Not only that, the mighty banana is also a rich source of vitamin B-6, just what you need to aid your immune system, maintain your nervous system, assist protein metabolism and form red blood cells. From now on, make sure you get to have one banana a day to keep health problems away.

(more…)

Status: In Pain
Music: Never Be the Same Again - Melanie C feat Lisa ‘Left Eye’ Lopez

BREATHE IN, DAMN IT!
My nasty lungs are giving me the torture of the century. Every effin’ breath hurts. Damn. And now I’m imposing a cigarette ban on myself. For now.

###

A TALE OF MY BLOODY TOENAIL
My right big toe is swollen. I got ingrown toenails, and I had been complaining about it since, like, forever but I couldn’t do anything because I was afraid it would bleed. And you know how I react when I get up close and personal with blood. Aargh. My housemate told me to forget about shoes for a while. What?! Are you kidding me? I could stand that pain but not the feeling of looking like a fashion disaster. So I still wore my fave pair of Chucks and got through my day filled with walking, walking, and uh, walking. It was excruciating. Like I said, every breath hurt, and every step did, too. I knew I should’ve just worn slippers. Hehe.

Later that day, I went home limping. Bad mood, of course. I took off my shoes and turn my PC on. But it wouldn’t boot. I pressed power again. Nah. Restart. Nah. In utter frustration, I began jerking the monitor and kicked the CPU with my right foot.

HOLY MARY MOTHER OF CHRIST!

The ingrown nail cut through my big toe and blood started to squirt. Painful is a freakin’ understatement. Not to mention the blood that made me feel more uncomfortable. My initial reflex was to wash away the blood with something. Looked into my bag and found my bottle of Green Cross alcohol, and without thinking, poured some on my bloody toe.

You know what happened next. (Was I cursing in Russian?)

Damn alcohol.

###

THE TROUBLE WITH LOVE ME IS
And of course, there’s this painful feeling of being alone. I’m happy but I still believe I could be happier. My last relationship ended almost two years ago. It was with Liza. Back then, I was busy with my thesis and crazy over someone else (ehehehe, I was so evil).

Hmmm. I’ve been single that long already. Wah.

Prech and Patti told me once that I didn’t know how to handle relationships. That all I was good at was just fall in love. But relationships… I suck (they say). I believe them.

I’ve only had three girlfriends (and zero boyfriends, hehe) but not one of them lasted more than five months.

###

“OKIE. NO BIGGIE.”
Here’s how one of my exes, Michi, and I broke up.

“Hey, so how are we?” She said.
“I don’t know,” I answered.
“Do you want it over?”
“It’s up to you.”
“Won’t you say anything?”
“If you want it over then fine. It’s really up to you.”
“I want it over.”
“Okie. No biggie.”
“I’m serious. I want it over.”
“I am, too. And it’s really no big deal.”

After that, we hated each other sooo much. Both claiming how we still loved each other but incredibly hurt that the other did not even try to fight for the relationship. Yeah. I know, right? I just didn’t want to look like I was on the losing end. Too bad, she shared the same thought.

Oh, pride.

###

“…So when I’m lying in my bed, thoughts running through my head
and I feel that love is dead, I’m loving angels instead….”
— Angels, Robbie Williams

Status: My eyes are in pain
Music: Miss You Like Crazy – Natalie Cole

It’s been a crazy week. And everything’s driving me crazy. But first, I would like to apologise for my unannounced week-long hiatus. I have a pretty good explanation.

Last Friday morning, I woke up and realised that my left eye was sore. And it was itchy. And teary. And sooo red. And it dawned on me: OH.MY.GOD! I got a “sore eye,” or pinkeye or bloodshot eye! What’s the medical term? Aha! Conjunctivitis. Whatever. And that simple realisation marked the beginning of a terrible week for me. The next day, both my eyes were infected. (I’ll be posting pictures soon. Hehehe). I officially became a walking viral infection. (more…)

Status: Higher
Music: Stickwitu - The Pussycat Dolls

I was supposed to post an entry about my ex-girlfriend and my high school friends today but I noticed I was tagged by Janus. You all know I’m not the type of blogger who is into web memes or whatever, but what the hell, I think, as a sign of courtesy, I gotta give it a try.

Here are the rules: Each player starts with 7 random facts about themselves on their Blog. People who are tagged need to blog 7 facts about themselves and post the rules as well. At the end of their blog list 7 people you are tagging. Let them know that they are tagged by leaving them a comment.

I think I have described myself well on this blog’s About page, so I’ll be getting some parts of this post from there, and I’ll just try to add some things.

The first two facts are things you HAVE to know for my safety (and perhaps, yours, too):

1. I’m a hematophobe/hemaphobe. I am extremely afraid (more like disgusted, really) of blood — human blood, in particular. I dread the sight of human blood. Even my own. ESPECIALLY my own. I can stand seeing blood as long as I don’t know it’s HUMAN blood. And I can stand seeing them on TV and in films. I only freak out when I know it’s REAL HUMAN BLOOD.

2. I am allergic to dogs and cats — specifically, their fur. I have a bad pair of lungs (but I’m a smoker, hihihi), and when I was a kid, I always got hospitalised because of asthma. But as I grew up, my body became stronger and less susceptible to allergens: pollen, dirt, and smoke. For some reason, my system never learnt to tolerate fur. I suffer mild asthma attacks whenever I got in contact with dogs or cats, or anyone who had been with these animals before getting near me.

(more…)