DEAR GOD,

Let’s be clear. You are not gonna take my life back until I’m done enjoying the cities listed below. You hold your end of the rope and I promise to be good less evil. I swear, aright? Some of my reasons are pretty lame. But I’m sure you’ll understand. Thanks, Papa God. You’re the best.

20. VENICE, Italy

It was my first time to touch an encyclopedia volume and the first picture I saw was that of Venice and the gondolas swaying on its flooded streets. I was 7 years old. Right then, I told myself that I just had to visit Venice. You see, I was born ambitious a romantic

But really, I won’t visit Venice alone. Someone has to go there with me. And it’s not gonna be my mother.

19. FLORENCE, Italy

I have no idea what’s in Florence and I’m too lazy to research right now. But three of my friends who have embarked on a European tour have been raving about it. Ahem Ayn ahem Tey ahem Rico ahem. So I don’t know, but since they love it so much, I might as well see for myself.

18. RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil

I think Mardi Gras is such a fun event and no one celebrates this in a more grandiose and more astonishing manner than the Brazilians.

I’m not a Christian but it wouldn’t hurt to be face-to-face with Jesus Christ the Redeemer, would it? After all, it’s crazy enormous. Crazy enormous.

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In any known culture, murder is considered a heinous crime. This is because human life is valued more than anything else in the world. Throughout history, however, we have seen countless serial killers and mass murderers rise and spread terror. They are often seen as heartless monsters who are incapable of seeing life as sacred.

Many of these serial killers commit murders one after another because of a mental illness or pure hatred and rage. Whatever their reasons are, they still manage to keep the attention of the public on them and mark their names on history. Here are the top 10 most notorious serial killers of all time.

Warning: graphic language and gruesome pictures below.

10. THE PIOUS MONSTER

Real name: Gilles de Rais (France)
Murder count: 80 to 600

Often dubbed as the precursor to the modern serial killer, Gilles de Rais of France was a nobleman and a military captain in the army led by St. Joan of Arc. He was convicted of raping, torturing and killing dozens (or hundreds) of young children, mostly boys between six to 18. Although he preferred boys, if circumstances required, he would make do with girls.

Surviving accounts narrate how Rais would lure young boys with blond hair and blue eyes to his residences. Then, he would sexually molest, torture and mutilate the poor kids. Most of the time, he would ejaculate over the body of the dying victim. He was not alone. He had accomplices helping him set up the heads of these kids so that they could judge who among these kids was the fairest.

Most of the bodies were burned or buried and until now, the exact number of his victims is still unknown. However, it is placed between 80 and 200. Some think that it may even be as high as 600.

9. THE KILLER CLOWN

Real name: John Wayne Gacy (Chicago, Illinois, US, 1972 – 1978)
Murder count: more than 29

We know that clowns bring fun and joy to children. Well, one clown decided to prove us wrong. He brought terror, instead. Move over, JOKER. Hehe.

John Wayne Gacy is one of the most notorious killers in the history of America. He has two jobs. By day he was a respected member of the community and a business owner who loved to entertain children as Pogo the Clown.

But at night, he was a serial murderer, cruising the streets looking for teenage boys to torture and murder. Once he had the young men at his suburban home, he would show them a magic trick using handcuffs. However, there was no magic trick. With the boys already handcuffed, he would sexually assault them all he could. Then, the brutal torture and murder followed.

For six years, the bodies of his victims stacked up in the crawlspace of his home. Due to lack of space, he was forced to throw his next victims into the Des Plaines River.

He was finally caught when he let his last victim escape after a night of horrendous torture. When the police searched his house, they found 29 bodies piled up under the patio floor and in the crawlspace. In 1980, he was sentenced to death. In 1994, he was executed.

8. THE GAY SLASHER

Real name: Andrew Phillip Cunanan (US, 1996-1997)
Murder count: 5

Andrew Cunanan murdered only five people but he was very infamous all over the world. This Filipino-American serial killer was listed on the Ten Most Wanted Fugitives of the FBI.

Cunanan always visited gay neighborhoods in San Diego, San Francisco and Los Angeles. Many of those he met described him as articulate, intelligent and charming. He was also said to have extreme sexual tastes and sadomasochistic inclination. Most of all, he was also very handsome. And he put this asset of his to evil use.

Unlike most serial killers who pick up their victims in the streets, Cunanan eyed the rich and the famous people. Yes, he killed only five people but these people were SOME people. And he managed to kill them in a three-month cross country trip. His first victim was a former US Naval Officer, Jeffrey Trail. Architect David Madson came next. The next to meet his demise in Cunanan’s hands was Lee Miglin, a real estate developer. He then killed William Reese, a cemetery caretaker, for his truck. And his fifth and final victim — Gianni Versace, a billionaire fashion designer. Because Cunanan was reported to be working as a prostitute, the media speculated that four of his victims were actually his clients.

There was a national manhunt for Cunanan. Before being captured, however, he committed suicide in a Miami houseboat.

Andrew Cunanan after the suicide

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A few months ago, I was teaching my 4-year old nephew some nursery rhymes with a DVD. After a lot of singing, he slowly digested the story that the rhymes tell. And then he began asking rather uncomfortable questions. One of the first rhymes I taught him was Humpty Dumpty.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the King’s horses, And all the King’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty together again!

He might have finally understood the rhyme when he gasped and said curiously, “Did he die?”

“Well,” I replied, “he’s an egg. Who cares?”

“I like eggs. Did they cook Humpty Dumpty?”

“Maybe. Who knows?” He looked sorry but we went on singing. And then there was Rock-A-Bye Baby.

Rock a bye baby on the tree top,
When the wind blows the cradle will rock,
When the bough breaks the cradle will fall,
And down will come baby, cradle and all.

And again, my nephew asked, “Tito, did the baby die?”

“I hope not. But it was just a baby and it fell from a tree. So… Poor baby.”

“Why was the baby on top of the tree?”

“I dunno. Maybe it was a baby koala bear,” I dodged, not realising that a-koala-cub-in-a-cradle was a very stupid thought. But really, my nephew was right, why the hell is the baby on the tree top, anyway?

I went on teaching him more nursery rhymes. Itsy Bitsy Spider. Pop Goes the Weasel. Peter Peter Pumpkin-eater. Old King Cole. Baa Baa Black Sheep.

I’ve always noticed that many of our nursery rhymes are actually very violent. I don’t usually give a damn. But my nephew was smart enough to understand what he was singing and sensitive enough to actually feel for the characters. After almost every rhyme I taught him, he would ask me what happened to the character.

• to Peter’s wife whom he kept inside a pumpkin. (Peter Peter Pumpkin-eater)
• to the itsy-bitsy spider after going up the spout again (Itsy Bitsy Spider)
• to the three blind mice after the farmer’s wife cut off their tails (Three Blind Mice)
• to the four and twenty blackbirds that were baked in a pie (Sing a Song of Sixpence)
• to Jack who fell down and to Jill who tumbled after (Jack and Jill)

I had to remind my nephew that it was bad to make fun of blind people (or blind mice, for that matter) and that pies don’t have dead black birds in them (at least, not usually). And guess what my nephew said after Jack and Jill. “Tito, did they die?”

Thank God he didn’t ask how many people were killed when the London Bridge fell down.

But even before this incident, I’ve always been wondering why these nursery rhymes have a sort of violent theme. Glenn once told me that they reflect history — what was happening at the time of the rhyme’s creation. It was only five minutes ago when I did some research and this is what I have found.

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Note: This entry was written for Crunkish.com, a site that our team put up. It is still under construction but if you want to take a peek, knock yourself out.

Throughout history, we have witnessed the rise and fall of countless rulers. Many of them did a really admirable job that their names are written in countless history books. Others still linger in our consciousness today not because of their delightful contributions to mankind but their crazy, twisted ways.

“Crazy” is a very vague word. It can refer to someone mentally ill, utterly evil or just plain ridiculous. Whatever your definition of this word is, here are the top ten craziest leaders in world history.

10. KIM JONG IL (North Korea)

For many people, his name suits him well. Kim Jong Il is really as ill as any leader can get. The current ruler of North Korea, he succeeded his father and the founder of North Korea, Kim Il-sung. He did not just replace his father, he proclaimed himself “Eternal President.” He has been consistently criticized by many contemporary leaders and international organizations for his lack of commitment to make the peninsula free of nuclear weapons.

The country also holds large concentration camps where 50,000 people including women and children who are accused of political crimes are being held. Violations of human rights are being reported left and right — murdering babies and enslaving inmates.

While his country is suffering, he enjoys a very luxurious lifestyle. He boasts North Korea’s finest wine cellar, containing 10,000 bottles of expensive wine. He also purchases bottles of Hennessy Cognac worth $700,000 every year. He had also spent more than $20 million on 200 Mercedes Benz S500 sedans added to the country’s pile of 7,000 Mercedes. He is also a huge movie fan with a collection of over 20,000 tapes.

Craziest quote: “National defense is the sacred duty of the young and all other people. “

Craziest moment: He showed off his country’s nuclear power by conducting two rounds of missile tests on July 5, 2006. The tests received immense negative reactions from the international community. But hey, it actually worked for him! Haha. Clever.

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