A Break-up Letter


I never expected I'd be writing you this letter. We've had six years of wonderful memories but I'm afraid it had come to the Read more

Welcome to the New Yoshke.com


New look. New attitude. New experiences. Honestly, I had been neglecting this blog the past few weeks because of my awfully hectic schedule. Work had Read more

Sometimes We Burn to Live


Whenever I meet people for the first time, it always happens. When they start their sentence with "I hope you don't mind me asking but," Read more

Judging By the Cover


Our office is just a stone's throw from where I live. In fact, all I have to do is cross EDSA and voila, hello Read more

Fireworks, Hormones, and this Blog Post


You remember last week when I told you I found it difficult to blog since I met you? Since we became a couple officially, Read more

Do They Read Blogs in Heaven?


Whenever I say that the earliest memory I have is the accident wherein I had my left arm somewhat toasted, I lie. My earliest Read more

Unusual Breakfast


Here we are again. In the usual corner. Usual table. Usual diner. Usual time. And most probably, usual meal. I'm getting tired of this Read more

Top 10 National Stereotypes


Heaven is where the cooks are French, the police are British, the mechanics are German, the lovers are Italian and everything is organized by Read more

EDSA


It could have been a horrible Saturday. I was in the passenger seat. It was a bit raining. Normally, EDSA gets on my nerves. That's why Read more

Why Nursery Rhymes Are So Violent


A few months ago, I was teaching my 4-year old nephew some nursery rhymes with a DVD. After a lot of singing, he slowly Read more

Top 10 Worst Things to Say During Sex


Sex is the art of love. It must be done in the most enjoyable and most satisfying manner. This act of love of two Read more

The Promil Kid Drops the Bomb


Of all the living things created by God, I love my nephew the most. I call him the Promil Kid. He’s the cutest thing. Read more

••••••

Lists

Top 15 Philippine Destinations
I Have Yet to Visit (Part 1)

Posted on April 20, 2009 by Yoshke in Lists, Travel |


image courtesy of travel.nationalgeographic.com

Hmm, last week was Holy Week. Well I’m not a Christian so the Holy Week must have been a regular week for me. And yeah, it was a pretty ordinary week except no work. And God knows how “no work” makes my ordinary week heavenly. I stayed at my mum’s house in Batangas. I usually go with my entire family on the road for our annual Visita Iglesia but sloth got the better of me; I decided to do nothing. And nothing was FUN! Wahaaha.

Then I remembered what a friend told me last year: “If a tsunami hits Puerto Galera anytime during the Holy Week, it will wipe out 80% of the country’s gay population.” Haha.

Funny, I haven’t set foot on the sands of Puerto Galera when it is just around P300 away from Batangas. And it’s not just Gale, I haven’t experienced Boracay either! Whenever my friends would invite me to join them to Boracay or Gale, I always end up staying with my relatives in Palawan. Not that I’m complaining. It’s cheaper, since food and lodging won’t be a concern. And besides, Palawan is beyond awesome.

I consider myself a well-traveled person if we’re talking about within the Philippine borders. I’ve been to Benguet to Aurora to Sorsogon to Leyte to General Santos. But the Philippines has just too many must-see places that gaaaah, there are also too many I haven’t been to. Here are 15 famous places in the country that I have yet to conquer.

15. Bukidnon


image courtesy of Star Cinema

Even before Piolo Pascual and Angel Locsin made Bukidnon a romantic setting in “Love Me Again,” I had always wanted to experience this pineapple-happy province. I remember when I was in grade school, Bukidnon really grabbed my curiosity. Grade school textbooks then had good things to say about Bukidnon, its terrain, industries and unusual climate. Bukidnon is the first thing that comes to mind whenever our teacher would ask us for an example of a plateau. Haha.

I really don’t know why but I won’t die without visiting Bukidnon.

14. Cebu


image courtesy of Tourism.gov.ph

My sister used to work in Cebu and she always urged me to come visit because there was just too much to see. But time was a bitch then. When I decided to finally pay the Queen City of the South a go-see, my sister was assigned somewhere else — Ilocos Norte. And then she completely forgot about Cebu and pimped Ilocos. Crazy sister.

One thing that makes me wanna see Cebu — history. It’s the oldest city in the country, right? So it should take me to the past and indulge me with things ancient. That’s what I’m expecting — more than the beaches, more than the culture. It’s really history. And dried mangoes.

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Protected: Top 8 Ways to Come Out to Your Parents

Posted on April 3, 2009 by Yoshke in Gay, How To, Humor, Lists |

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Top 10 Ways to Break Up

Posted on March 10, 2009 by Yoshke in How To, Humor, Lists, Love |

Note: I originally wrote this for crunkish.com, a superduper fun website that features top 10 whatever things. If you wanna check it out, knock yourself out.

People make mistakes. It’s part of human nature. Sometimes, we purchase something and realize that it is useless. We say words we never expected to come out of our mouths. We do things that we will eventually regret in the future. When it comes to choosing our partners, we make lots of mistakes, too.

Falling in love is one of the best things in life. It gives us a shot at happiness. It gives us a chance to grow. It gives us the feeling that we are not alone and that (illusion that) we will never be. It gives us the assurance that we are needed and loved. It gives value to our existence.

We know, of course, that not all good things last forever. Most of the time, it’s very difficult to admit that we chose the wrong person for us and that the relationship is going nowhere. Parting ways with someone you have been in love with or you thought you were so in love with can be much harder than starting a relationship.

Certain circumstances, however, leave us with no choice. Sometimes, we find ourselves being with the wrong person. Sometimes, we wake up only to realize that everything was a mistake. If this is the case, then you really have to cut your ties. Here are some ways of saying goodbye to the one you thought you could spend the rest of your life with. (Warning: Items 10-9 must not be taken seriously. Lol. Just trying to prove a point.)

10. “Every man changes. I’m a man.”

One study reveals that most men are afraid to break it off with their partners. Thus, since they can’t say it directly, they destroy the good and lovable image they made to turn their partners off. If you are one of these men, you may want to change voluntarily to drive your love away. Stop saying words that take her breath away. Stop showering. Stop making love with her. Stop being the man she loved, loves and would continue to love.

It doesn’t mean you have to turn bad. Well, basically, you really have to be bad but only for a time. Once the relationship is over, compose yourself again and find another woman. Yes, it’s not fair but is there anything fair in this world? That’s life. She has to live with it.

9. “If you can’t beat me at World of Warcraft, we can’t be together anymore.”

If you’re the playful and cunning type, then make her agree to a dare and have your relationship as a bet. That sounds silly but hey, you’re desperate. You really have to get rid of him/her or you’d rather play online games all your life. Any game will do. Whether it’s basketball or hangman, make sure it is something that you’re really good at. After you win, say this: “You know I love you babe, but rules are rules.”

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Top 9 Most Evil Women in History

Posted on March 2, 2009 by Yoshke in History, Lists, Mysteries, Public Affairs, The World |

Because the world is celebrating International Women’s Day on March 8… Wahaha, joke lang! It was supposed to be Top 10. I wanted to include Imelda Marcos but…. Nah. Not that evil, I think. And then Queen Isabella of Castille. And then my sister crossed my mind but I got too lazy so I just settled for nine. And oh, originally written for crunkish.com, a superduper fun website I used to write for.

They say that behind every great man is a great woman. Following this principle, we can also assume that behind every evil man is an evil woman. Yes, there have been cruel women in history that we fail to notice because we sometimes focus on male atrocity. However, some women have shown great inhumanity and have caused tragedy by their own, without any help from any men.

Whether they were the Bonnie to their respective Clyde or the independent, loner type, here are nine of the most utterly despicable women in history who interpreted “girl power” the wrong way. But first, a disclaimer: your ex is not on this list.

9. The Bloody Mary: QUEEN MARY I (1516-1558)

The first woman to be crowned ruler of England, Queen Mary I reigned through a brief period. Her marriage to Prince Philip of Spain caused Parliamentary dissent and rebellion. She forced England back to Roman Catholicism in a vile manner. She ordered the so-called Marian Persecutions, the execution of countless religious dissenters especially Protestant leaders; thus the epithet “Bloody Mary.”

8. Good Queen Bess: QUEEN ELIZABETH I (1533-1603)

Her nickname “Good Queen Bess” proves to be improper because of her bad behavior. Forget about Cate Blanchett’s excellent portrayal. Queen Elizabeth was as cruel as any ruler could get.

If Queen Mary brought England back to Roman Catholicism, Elizabeth suppressed it in the cruelest way possible. She had thousands of Catholics in Ireland and England murdered. She may have done good things as regards to parliament, it doesn’t take away the fact that she was an evil tyrant. She even ordered piracy and raiding of Spanish ships. She was also heavily involved in slave trading movement as she sponsored slavers to capture Africans. She also gave Queen Mary of Scots refuge but she  kept her prisoner for 19 years before finally killing her.

7. The Angel of Death: BEVERLY GAIL ALLIT (1968-)

If you think all nurses are so adorable and admirable, you should meet Beverly Gail Allit. Also called “the Angel of Death,” she was a British pediatric nurse who was convicted of the murder of four kids at the children’s ward of Grantham and Kesteven Hospital in Lincolnshire in 1991.

As a nurse, she used a medical tool in her murders — the syringe. Yes, she would inject the child with potassium or insulin, leading to cardiac arrest. If she was unable to get the injections, she would suffocate the child. In total, she had assaulted 13 children. Only four were killed. You may be thinking that it’s a very small number for a serial killer to actually make it to this list but she did all these in a span of only 58 days. This made her earn a slot on the list of the most notorious serial killers in Britain.

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Top 10 National Stereotypes

Posted on January 15, 2009 by Yoshke in Lists, Public Affairs, The World |

Heaven is where the cooks are French, the police are British, the mechanics are German, the lovers are Italian and everything is organized by the Swiss.

Hell is where the cooks are British, the police are German, the mechanics are French, the lovers are Swiss, and everything is organized by the Italians.

This is an old popular joke that never fails to make those who hear it cringe or laugh. National stereotypes have been the subject of many jokes for centuries. Even today when the international community promotes diversity and encourages tolerance, certain people are still tagged according to their nationalities.

image courtesy of msnbcmedia2.msn.com

Heck, I’m sure you already have heard or thought one or more of these stereotypes-turned-jokes:

  • The Romanians are vampires.
  • The Swiss love clocks.
  • Japanese men have small dicks.
  • (Thus) Japanese women love Caucasian men.
  • The French have poor hygiene.
  • The Chinese know kung fu. And so on…

To some, national stereotypes may provoke racism. To others, national stereotypes are harmless jokes based on the identity that a certain nation or people has established or projected towards other countries through the years.

But is there a sliver of truth in these national stereotypes? Or are they just inaccurate preconceived notions, which can be pretty offensive to many people? Whatever your views are, here are ten of the most common national stereotypes and why they are somehow false. Note that these are stereotypes based on nationalities and not race.

10. Italians are good lovers but bad workers.

The Italians are known for three P’s: pizza, pasta and passionate sex. Who wouldn’t want that kind of reputation as a people? However, it doesn’t end there. Italy is also seen by others as the land of the inefficient and the disorganized. Hmmm.

This preconceived notion is truly unfair to the Italians. If they were such bad workers who could only spend the entire day at a restaurant, make love, or exact revenge Mafia-style, how could they keep their gigantic textile, chemical and engineering industries going?

Aside from that, the Italians run and organize everything in Italy, which, by anyone’s standards, is one of the most glorious nations in the world. Italy takes pride in its great cuisine, fantastic culture and fine architecture. If they were such an inefficient people, how come Italy’s history is littered with splendid achievements?

9. Canadians are boring.

Those who say that Canadians are boring are probably the same people who think that the Canadian capital is Toronto, that the Canadian culture is based around Celine Dion, and that Canadians live in igloos.

The truth is, the climate is not the only thing that is cooler in this country. Canada offers a wide range of exciting activities such as snowboarding, kayaking and many other sports for the adventurous. You’ll also not run out of reasons to laugh in this more-than-maple country. After all, many comedians in Hollywood are Canadians — Mike Myers, John Candy, Matthew Perry, Eugene Levy and Jim Carrey among others. Their names hardly sound boring, don’t they?

8. Filipinos are uneducated island people.

In early 2007, someone asked this question on Yahoo! Answers:

Where is the best Architecture school in the Philippines?

Hmmm. Interesting. But you know what’s more interesting — the one and only answer. Okay, Breathe in… breathe out… Read more

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Top 10 Most Unforgettable Horror Films

Posted on December 19, 2008 by Yoshke in Lists, Movies |

Note: The list includes Hollywood films only. And these are not a list of the best horror movies but the most unforgettable for me. This is my list after all. Haha. This was originally written for crunkish.com. I know this post is too late for the Halloween but what the heck.

Why do we love watching horror films? Simple. We love being scared. Fear is one of the most powerful emotions. There are many types of fears and there are many things that people fear. One universal fear, transcending cultural barriers, is the fear of death. Although it is not the most common type of fear, if you try to analyse other fears, they all boil down to the fear of death. You do not fear darkness per se, you fear that there might be someone or something we couldn’t see that might threaten your life. You fear heights because you might fall and face a certain death. You fear snakes because it might bite you and inject some poison that would eventually kill you.

And because it is such a powerful emotion, fear of death is something that movies can use and play on effectively. People are emotional masochists. Although we know that we will get scared watching them, we still can’t get enough of them.

Horror movies elicit fear from viewers by using graphic violence or giving life to characters, often of supernatural origin, that will grab that fear inside us and give it terrifying shake. Here are my top 10 most unforgettable horror movies of all time.

10. Dracula (1931)

“I am Dracula. I bid you welcome.”

Enter the world of Count Dracula. After a very agonising drive through the Carpathian mountains, Reinfield finds himself in the castle of Dracula, who is a vampire. The sinister count drugs him and turns him into one of his poor thralls. After turning Lucy Weston into a vampire by sucking blood, the count focuses on her friend Mina, daughter of Dr. Seward. The doctor, then, asks for help from a specialist, Dr. Van Helsing, to detect the cause of the mysterious deterioration of Mina’s health. After realising that the count is indeed a vampire, Dr. Helsing prepares himself and Mina’s loved ones for what is yet to come and tries everything to prevent Mina from turning into a blood-thirsty monster.

If you are not the type who watches black-and-white films, you’ll be surprised to still get terrorised by the movie despite its lack of colour. In fact, it helps in the overall effect of the movie. Dracula is considered one of the first classic American horror films.

9. The Others (2001)

“How do you keep them out, when they’ve already invited themselves in?“

Nicole Kidman‘s first attempt to star in a horror film was a great success both critically and in the box-office. She plays the role of Grace Stewart, an overprotective mother to her two children, both suffering from a rare ailment. The kids can’t be exposed to sunlight or they would die. Grace is determined to protect her kids from everything. But that proves to be very difficult as the house they are living in appears to be haunted. As the family and their household help are bothered by the presence of what they call “the others,” they discover one thing about them that will surely shake the sanity of the audience.

This movie is one of the top 10 highest grossing horror films of all time and it deserves every single penny. Critics are all raves about it, too. The minimalist approach sets this film from many in-your-face ghost and monster movies that are rampant in Hollywood. You will surely fear the “others” even when you don’t really see them. This movie successfully builds up the tension in the first hour only to blow your mind (in a good way) in the remaining minutes. The twist is completely nerve-wracking.

8. The Ring (2002)

“You will die in seven days.”

Another film in the top 10 highest grossing horror movies in the history of Hollywood is The Ring, remake of the 1998 Japanese film Ringu. Naomi Watts is a Seattle newspaper journalist who finds out that her teenage niece is scared to death literally one week after she watched a creepy nightmarish videotape (which doesn’t make any sense) at a motel cabin in some rustic area. She gets hold of the tape and watched the video only to find out that whoever watches the tape will die in seven days. To make matters worse, her sort of psychic son watches the tape, too. Now, she has to break the curse or they will die in seven days.

The premise of the story is horrific enough. Add the impressive cinematography, effective production design and beautiful direction, The Ring will scare all hell out of you. In fact, even after watching the movie, you will be thinking about it for weeks. You’ll start to wonder what will happen to the mother and son since the film is open-ended. You’ll also get paranoid of the unlabelled videotape sitting in one corner of your room. And whenever the phone rings, you will be scared to answer. The Ring really inflicts lasting terror on its viewers.

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Top 10 Ways to Ask for a Raise or Promotion

Posted on December 6, 2008 by Yoshke in Career, Humor, Lists |

As one RD quote goes, “the moment you settle for less than you deserve, you’ll get even less than you settle for.” It maybe very painful to hear but this is true.

Salary is the primary reason we work our butts off all day. But not all jobs pay well. And even if our present employer gives us what the law requires and the conventions suggest, we still find ourselves struggling to make do with what we receive. If you feel that you have proven yourself as an efficient, competent and productive employee over time but you still find yourself awfully broke when the month ends, maybe it’s time to ask for a raise or a promotion or both. Here are the top ten creative ways to do that.

10. Second the motion. All the time.

Although having your own stand on the company’s many issues will show your character and wit, being the “second voice” has its own perks, too. Let your boss know that you are on his side all the time by acting like an echo.

Starting today, practise saying “I agree completely” or “I agree absolutely.” You can change the last word with another positive adverb as long as the first two words are “I agree.” Call it blind loyalty but you need a raise. The last thing you want is to play on a different team against your boss.

What is more effective? Eavesdrop on his conversations and then feed him back the ideas you heard as if they were yours. He would think you are of the same wavelength and that you know him too well you could even read his mind.

9. Park your car beside his.

You may think that this is ridiculous but parking your car beside your boss’s has a lot of advantages. Stationing yourself before and after office hours in the parking lot can help you ask for a raise. You may not realise it but if you’re the first and last person he sees every single day, you will seep into his subconscious. The next time he wants to promote someone, at least you have parked your memory somewhere in his mind.

8. Pull off an 007.

Yes, Bond, James Bond. Spywork is not really new to many workplaces. The truth is, some of your co-workers may be spying on you, trying to copy your work and make it look like their own. You can do the same but in this case, we’ll play evil.

Don’t spy for yourself. Rather, spy for your boss. Report everything that is going on in the department. The next time you hear your officemate say nasty things about your boss, prepare a tape recorder and let your boss hear it. It’s not like you’re being an office snitch. You just want to be honest and fair to the person you work for. You’ll get extra points for doing what is expected of you. Who knows? A raise, if not a promotion, might follow soon.

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Top 10 Tragic Accidents in History

Posted on November 24, 2008 by Yoshke in History, Lists, Rants, The World |

Accidents happen. Whether it’s just a young girl choking on her hotdog sandwich or a major unintentional nuclear explosion, accidents have a way of sneaking up on people when we least expect them.

All over the planet, countless accidents happen every minute. In fact, next to diseases and other health problems, it is the second leading cause of death throughout the world. Some accidents occur on the individual level like a simple tripping on your toe. Others are so huge that they claim thousands of lives and create significant impact on the society.

This is a list of the world’s most tragic accidents in history. Bear in mind that the items here are not sorted by death toll. Ultimately, these devastating moments in history affected the world and changed how we see and deal with our lives. Note that this list does not include events that were caused by deliberate violence or natural disasters.

10. THE BIHAR TRAIN DISASTER

Bihar, India, 1981
268 dead, 300 missing

June 6, 1981 is an unforgettable day for the people of Bihar, India. On this day, a passenger train carrying more than 500 passengers and travelling between Saharsa and Mansi derailed and plunged into the Bagmati river. It is considered India’s most tragic railway disaster. The real cause of the accident is still uncertain but many believe that it was one of the three: a cyclone, flash flooding and, believe it or not, brake failure while avoiding to hit a water buffalo. Yes, a kalabaw.

Many people believe that the worst train tragedy in recorded history is the “Queen of the Sea” disaster in Sri Lanka. But since it was caused by a tsunami, which is a force of nature, it is intentionally excluded from the list.

9. THE TENERIFE COLLISION

Canary Islands, Spain, 1977
583 dead

The Tenerife collision is the worst plane accident since plane was invented. March 27, 1977: two Boeing 747 airliners (Pan American World Airways Flight 1763 and KLM Royal Dutch Airlines Flight 4805) collided at Los Rodeos on the island of Tenerife, killing 583 people. KLM 4805 was taking off on the airport’s only runway when it crashed into Pan Am 1736, taxiing on the same runway. A massive explosion happened, followed by a huge ball of fire. The sound was heard throughout the island.

8. THE SINKING OF THE USS INDIANAPOLIS

Philippine Sea, 1945
579+ dead


A few weeks before the end of World War II, the USS Indianapolis, a US Navy Portland-class heavy cruiser carrying 1196 men, was en route to Leyte in the Philippines from Guam. They never made it to the Philippines. The cruiser sank completely 12 minutes after a torpedo from a Japanese submarine hit it.

You might be thinking that this should not be included in this list because war is definitely an act of deliberate violence; however, it is not the sinking per se. Only around 300 people were trapped on it. A total of 896 men were able to leave the ship. In fact, they were able to call for rescue a number of times but it was denied because it was thought to be sent by a Japanese submarine setting them up for a trap.

The poor sailors stayed floating in the middle of the ocean for more than four days. Without any food and water, some were tempted to drink seawater which sentenced them to dehydration. Many perished because of this.

What was more terrifying was that it was shark-infested. For four days, they were floating in the open sea and every three to four hours, sharks would attack and prey on them. For four days, they were waiting to be rescued while silk sharks, blue sharks and oceanic whitetip sharks in groups of 120 to 150 would have a feast. Of the 896 who survived the sinking of the ship, only 317 were alive when they were finally rescued.

Although sharks played a significant part in this incredibly traumatic tragedy, it wouldn’t have happened had they not ignored the distress calls. It still boils down to human error, making it one of the most tragic accidents in Naval history.

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Top 25 Local TV Shows I Miss:
(Part 3) Drama Series

Posted on November 20, 2008 by Yoshke in Lists, TV |

Heto na ang last part ng list na ‘to. If you missed the first two parts, click here and here.

9. BITUIN

 

This may be the first music-oriented teleserye on Pinoy TV. It stars Nora Aunor, Cherie Gil, Desiree del Valle and the girl I miss soooo much Carol Banawa.

Naalala ko pa nun, yung buong pamilya namin inaabangan yung showdown ni Melody and Bernadette at na mabuking si Bernadette na ninakaw nya ang boses ni Melody. Hihi. Medyo naging dragging lang nung patapos na yung series.

Haaay. Nakakamiss si Carol Banawa. Kung kelan sya sumikat ng todo, tsaka niya binitawan ang showbiz.

8. IKAW ANG LAHAT SA AKIN

 

Oo na. Malabo ang video. Sorry lang, Yan lang ang meron, wag nang choosy. Haha.

Wahaha. This show was supposed to put an end to the fantasy craze during the height of Darna‘s popularity. Sadly, it failed. Nonetheless, the series proved to be one of ABS-CBN’s most entertaining. Powerhouse cast ito, led by Claudine Barretto. The treatment was somewhat Korean. John Lloyd and Bea here were hilarious. Pero yung finale, medyo lame. Hehe.

7. LOBO

Waaaaaah. Arguably the best fantasy series in Philippine TV history. The keyword there is “arguably.” Haha.

First project ni Angel Locsin as a kapamilya. Nakakatuwa yung show dahil umikot ang istorya ng konti lang ang cast. Tsaka maganda naman talaga ang story at ang pagkakagawa. At halatang andaming workshops ang pinagdaanan ni Angel para dito. Haha.

Nakaka-miss lang ang mga puti at itim. At nakakamiss din si Dimples Romana. Haha.

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Ruining Relationships. Worldwide.

Posted on November 17, 2008 by Yoshke in Blurts, Gay, Humor, Lists |

I was just about to post the third part of the Top 25 Local TV Shows I Miss when I noticed a Facebook message from my former boss based in Victoria, Canada. The mail contained a link to one of the lists I produced while working with her — Top 10 Signs that Your Boyfriend is Gay. This post was cross-posted to Crunkish.com, where it received a couple of comments that somewhat challenge my morals. Haha. They go:

Honestly, I just don’t know what to say to them. I feel sorry but I think I have made it clear in that entry’s introduction that these signs are not absolute.

…You have to remember, however, that these signs are a bit stereotypical. These are not absolute. If you see these signs on your boyfriend, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he is gay or bisexual. Not seeing these signs doesn’t mean that he is not, either. Again, playing detective is a tricky business….

I’m still trying to come up with a polite, apologetic reply. I think that’s proper.

But there’s another comment that made me LOL.

That made me feel a bit better!

Gaaah. Anyway, before my conscience finally convinces me to believe that I am a bad person, I should go back to writing the rest of the Top 25 Pinoy defunct TV programmes that I miss. Or perhaps I should start announcing Yoshke.com’s BLOGS OF THE YEAR.

image courtesy of bantamapparel.com

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