image courtesy of Wired.com

Impress him. Surprise him. Cheat not. Hit not. In simpler terms, these are the most important pieces of advice on keeping a relationship. But sometimes, no matter how strictly you follow these commandments, relationships still die. Some of natural death. Why? Because we tend to overlook simpler but not any less significant things we have to remember when we are the other half of a couple.

10. When you make mistakes, say sorry.

Your heart should be bigger than your ego. Pride will get your relationship nowhere. When you suddenly threw tantrums in the middle of your seventh monthsary dinner (ulimately ruining the night), say sorry. It’s your fault, take the blame. It’s simple, really: When you make a mistake, apologize.

9. When your partner makes mistakes, say sorry.

Shit happens. Everybody makes mistakes. Your partner is not an exception. When your partner does and he or she apologizes, don’t pin all the blame on him/her. Analyze the situation. I mean, REALLY analyze it and you’ll find you have shortcomings, too. Example:

He’s late. It’s his fault, yes. But did you remind him?
He called you a bitch. It’s his fault, yes. But are you really not?
He’s out with friends yet again. It’s not really a fault but let’s say it is. Was it clear you didn’t want him to go out with friends four times a week?

Point is, it wouldn’t hurt to get your share of the blame sometimes. After all,  you’re partners.

8. Don’t self-pity.

If you think you’re so ugly or so stupid or so whatever and you think you’re not good at anything, stop it. Self-pitying will only make you feel bad. And if you feel bad about yourself, imagine how it makes your partner feel. Has it ever occurred to you that the more you tarnish your confidence, the worse your partner is hurt?

Think about this: He loves you. If you think you’re worthless, you are insulting your partner in a way.

(more…)

Note: I’m a cheesy person alright? But since it’s Valentine’s Day and I wish everyone is in love this season, let me share some more cheese. The kind that is, well, cheesy.

“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.”

That’s from romantic musical film Moulin Rouge. Cheesy line alright but yes, there is nothing in this world that feels better than being in love. It is the most amazing feeling that you will ever have. (Orgasm, an exception.) If what this quote says is not enough reason for you, here’s ten more.

10. It makes you better-looking.

This is not a joke. Believe it or not, falling in love can really make you look a lot better. If you’re the type of person who doesn’t care about your physical appearance, fall in love and see how you would change. When you’re in love, you will always try to look your very best not just to impress the one you love but also to feel good about yourself. You feel conscious about your outfit, your hair and your movements.

Even when you don’t exert any effort on improving your appearance, love really brings something magical to its victims. When people are in love, they smile a lot. There is a certain glowing aura that people in love emit that radiates happiness.

9. It makes you nicer.

How can you be mean to people around you when there is someone who makes every minute of your life wonderful? When people are in love, we tend to focus on our feelings for that lucky person and pay not much attention to other things, much less to the things that make our blood reach the boiling point. And because there is someone who makes us smile every time, it is hard to frown and make other people’s lives miserable. We tend to forget our bitter past and our plans of revenge in the future because what matters is the present.

8. It makes you richer.

It doesn’t mean that you should marry Donald Trump or some other billionaire. Even if you fall in love with an average guy, you have more chances of getting rich. This is because you are more inspired to work and you have another reason to work hard. Intentionally or unintentionally, you will find yourself doing your job a little less exhausting because the feeling of going home to someone you love keeps you through the day in a way that you don’t realize how much work you have done. This is true. Studies have shown that individuals in long-term committed relationships earn more than those who stay single. So if you want to get rich, fall in love.

(more…)

edited image from ArtVille

You remember last week when I told you I found it difficult to blog since I met you? Since we became a couple officially, I have not had enough time to bond with my nephew and I don’t hang out with Andre as often as I used to. Not that I’m complaining. I enjoy every minute I spend with you.

You joshed, “Why not blog about me? Am I not something worth blogging about?”

You are, of course. But I choose not to. After all, you are one part of my life that I’d rather keep private. That’s how possessive I am of you.

But I’ll give you this blog post.

They say that the hormones responsible for that incredible feeling of falling and being in love linger in the brain for only six months. So it’s a chemically-induced emotion, after all. Six months. Most of the time, these chemicals dry up along with the love.

So that’s why most couples I know barely last seven months. Six months of hormonal euphoria and the seventh month is spent by the neurons deliberating whether to stay in the relationship or to call it quits. And many of them choose to break the other’s heart.

You remember our first date? We were in UP Diliman that night. We sat on the grass and suddenly, fireworks started sparkling in the sky. Neither of us knew or even expected there’d be fireworks. But there were. You borrowed my cellphone, composed a message, and gave it back to me. I still have that message on my inbox. It was probably the first time the love hormones rushed in to my brain.

That was more than six months ago.

(more…)

Note: Blogger’s original work. This is fiction. Please see legal and ethical reminders on the sidebar. Thanks very much.

Here we are again. In the usual corner. Usual table. Usual diner. Usual time. And most probably, usual meal. I’m getting tired of this really. Everything’s a routine. And for what it’s worth, you’re the only same old thing that I’m not tired of. But I’m tired of this. Having the same food for breakfast before we go to work.

“What are we really?” I speak first.

You give me a puzzled look.

I speak again. “You said we’re friends. But the things we do — the things I do with you — the thing’s I’ve done FOR you — and the things I’m so willing to do. They are things I don’t usually do with or for my friends.”

You reach for the menu and browse through it like you’re not hearing a thing.

“And the things you’ve done. They are things no other friend has done for me…. Are we really friends? Is that all we have? Friendship?”

You refuse to talk. You just sit there.

“Just friendship? That’s all we have?”

But I seem to be talking with myself. You give no decent reaction to the question I’ve long wanted to ask you. The question I think I’m wasting all my energy asking.

Disappointed, I release a deep sigh. You continue to pretend trying hard to decide what to have for breakfast when we both know you’ll be having the same old thing. You’re just avoiding the topic. So I just let go of it and try not to spoil this morning like it hasn’t been yet.

I change the topic. “You ready to order?”

“Sure. I’m starving.” Finally, your first words for today. It’s so clear how much you hate talking about that topic. Talking about us.

I call on the waitress, the one who’s always served us our meal. In fact, she knows our name and we chat when she’s not busy. We are regular customers. She approaches our table.

“What are you two having?” Her tone sounds like she never really has to ask for she knows exactly what food we are gonna order.

You put down the menu, look at the waitress, smile, then turn to me. And say, “Something more than friendship.”

(I swear I heard the waitress say “I know, ‘right.”)

picture courtesy of associatedcontent.com

Status: Hap-hap-happy.
Music: Broken Strings | James Morrison feat Nelly Furtado

Care to solve the following problems? Drop your two cents here.

Problem #1

You’ve had the best five months together. Suddenly, you get distracted. You become busy with other things. You’re still in love with her but time isn’t one of the things you can give her right now. Before you know it, it’s been weeks.

One day, finally, you decide to meet her and talk. She asks if you want to end the relationship. You say, “it’s up to you.” Pissed, she tells you “Aright, it’s over.” And being the prideful person that you are, you don’t wanna look like the one on the losing end, so you say, “Okie. No big deal.” And then you part ways.

The funny thing is, you are still in love with each other. MADLY. But you are both afraid to look like the one aching for it. Since then, you haven’t heard from each other. You’ve never been in love with anyone after her. She’s in a relationship now but she’s still deeply in love with you.

Three years later, you meet again. It’s the day you’ve both been waiting for. You ask her to leave her boyfriend for you. She does.

And because you’ve always loved each other, you are both in euphoria. But as the days pass, you realize that everything isn’t how it used to be and that you’ve been in love with her memory and not with who she is now. And now, you want to end it. How are you gonna tell her?

Problem #2

She’s always been in love with you and it’s no secret. Your family and friends are aware of it. In fact, they have been teasing you, pairing you up with her all the damn time. She’s pretty, kind, and very likable. She’s almost the perfect girlfriend.

But you’ve been having this identity crisis lately. It is starting to dawn on you that you are turning gay.

(more…)

Whenever my friends gave me a call in wee hours of the night, crying because they were madly missing their boyfriends or girlfriends, I secretly laughed at them. I just thought it was silly to weep just because they were not with the person they longed for. Sure, I missed people badly before. But not so badly it could push me to tears.

I thought they were exaggerating. And for that, I wanted to slap them. Really hard.

I’m not supposed to write this entry because it’s Sunday and I don’t usually post on a Sunday. But heck, I’ve done everything — EVERYTHING — for diversion. Nothing worked. Yesterday, I was missing someone terribly. I only stopped crying when I heard his voice on the phone.

The funny thing was that the last time we saw each other was just that morning. When I woke up in his arms.

I had woken to his smile many mornings before. But it was my first time to rouse first and watch him sleep. His arms, around me. His lips, on my forehead. His breath, fluxing with mine. It was the happiest morning of my life.

Silly, I know. Slap me.

PS. Sorry, the previous post was meant to be read only by Shy Guy.

Note: I originally wrote this for crunkish.com, a superduper fun website that features top 10 whatever things. If you wanna check it out, knock yourself out.

People make mistakes. It’s part of human nature. Sometimes, we purchase something and realize that it is useless. We say words we never expected to come out of our mouths. We do things that we will eventually regret in the future. When it comes to choosing our partners, we make lots of mistakes, too.

Falling in love is one of the best things in life. It gives us a shot at happiness. It gives us a chance to grow. It gives us the feeling that we are not alone and that (illusion that) we will never be. It gives us the assurance that we are needed and loved. It gives value to our existence.

We know, of course, that not all good things last forever. Most of the time, it’s very difficult to admit that we chose the wrong person for us and that the relationship is going nowhere. Parting ways with someone you have been in love with or you thought you were so in love with can be much harder than starting a relationship.

Certain circumstances, however, leave us with no choice. Sometimes, we find ourselves being with the wrong person. Sometimes, we wake up only to realize that everything was a mistake. If this is the case, then you really have to cut your ties. Here are some ways of saying goodbye to the one you thought you could spend the rest of your life with.

10. “Every man changes. I’m a man.”

One study reveals that most men are afraid to break it off with their partners. Thus, since they can’t say it directly, they destroy the good and lovable image they made to turn their partners off. If you are one of these men, you may want to change voluntarily to drive your love away. Stop saying words that take her breath away. Stop showering. Stop making love with her. Stop being the man she loved, loves and would continue to love.

It doesn’t mean you have to turn bad. Well, basically, you really have to be bad but only for a time. Once the relationship is over, compose yourself again and find another woman. Yes, it’s not fair but is there anything fair in this world? That’s life. She has to live with it.

9. “If you can’t beat me at World of Warcraft, we can’t be together anymore.”

If you’re the playful and cunning type, then make her agree to a dare and have your relationship as a bet. That sound silly but hey, you’re desperate. You really have to get rid of him/her or you’d rather play online games all your life. Any game will do. Whether it’s basketball or hangman, make sure it is something that you’re really good at. After you win, say this: “You know I love you babe, but rules are rules.”

(more…)

ACCUSING DISTRACTION

Tuesday morning. Esan, a brand new co-worker, excitedly told me about someone she used to work with.

Esan: Yoshke! I’d introduce someone to you! You’ll like him. He’s hot  and a real gentleman! His name is ^&%##.
Yoshke: Esan, I’m already seeing someone. I’m a one-man man. I’m one loyal, trustworthy guy.
Esan: Wushooo…
Yoshke: Ano namang tingin mo saken? MALANDI?
Everyone in the office, who, apparently, was listening: OO!

Hala. Sabay-sabay pa.

Singit pa nung isa, “At feeling mo HINDE?” Haha.

Henaku. Hindi naman talaga…

REPEATING DISTRACTION

One boring afternoon at the office.

Yoshke: If I tell you that I can sketch and paint, will you believe me?
Emcy: Yeah.
Yoshke: Eeeeeh. You shouldn’t have said “yes.” I wanted you to say “no.” Then I’d tell you “Yes, I can!”
Emcy: Hahaha.
Yoshke: Hmmm. I hate you! It didn’t go the way I wanted it to. So we’re gonna do it again!
Emcy: Haha. Okay.
Yoshke: Emcy, If I tell you that I can sketch and paint, will you believe me?
Emcy: No.
Yoshke: Yes, I can!

Parang tanga lang kami.

CONFUSING DISTRACTION

Yoshke: Emcy, pabili naman ako ng cupped noodles (or cup noodles?). Nissin ha, Nissin. Seafood flavor. Nissin ha! NISSIN!
Emcy: Ah sige, anong noodles? Lucky Me Supreme?

Anong mahirap intindihin sa sinabi ko. Sabihin nyo saken. Anooo?!?!?!

(more…)

This is lifted from a screenplay I wrote with Tonet for a Hawaiian film. We were commissioned by a Filipino-American producer. It’s a romantic sci-fi musical tentatively titled “Julia/Juliana.” It is yet to be shot.

A little background. Michael is a white soldier. Juliana is his ex-wife who abandoned him. Julia is his new wife who looks, speaks, and acts almost exactly like Juliana. When Juliana decides to return and win back Michael’s heart, things get ugly. Julia leaves Michael and doesn’t want to be found. Anyway, this is just one scene.

82   EXT   BEACH,   NIGHT – LATER

At this time of the night with these crowds, it seems impossible to find JULIA. MICHAEL is acting desperately, asking anyone he comes across with.

JULIANA is doing the same.

MICHAEL breaks away from the crowd and approaches the shore. JULIANA comes running after him.

JULIANA:
Mike! Mike!

MICHAEL does not budge. He stops walking. JULIANA finally catches up.

JULIANA:
I’ve done everything but I really can’t find her.

MICHAEL:
That’s okay. Thank you.

JULIANA notices how this event saddens MICHAEL. For almost a minute, amidst the distant noise from the crowd, silence covers the shore.

JULIANA:
You really love her, don’t you?

MICHAEL just looks at JULIANA and smiles.

JULIANA:
I’m happy for you. But…

JULIANA seems to be very reluctant to complete her sentence.

(more…)