image courtesy of wired.com

I’m not sure if you have experienced this:

“You wake up, but you can’t move a muscle. Lying in bed, you’re totally conscious, and you realize that strange things are happening. There’s a crushing weight on your chest that’s humanoid. And it’s evil.” (Wired.com)

Scientists have a name for this medical condition — sleep paralysis. I have a name for this, too: fudgin’ nightmare. It’s pretty common, though. In fact, it is believed that half of the population has experienced this. You’re not alone. Yay for that.

Even without these stats, I’d still tell you you’re not alone — simply because I’ve had more than my share of sleep paralysis “attacks.” And no matter how much I google sleep paralysis, there are things that keep me bothered.

It all started on a trip to a province in the South. One morning, I woke up and found myself paralyzed. I couldn’t move but I could speak. Suddenly, I heard a grim male voice. Although I could not see him, he was talking to me. And he was mocking me every time I try to speak.

“Wag mo nang labanan… Hindi ka makakagalaw…”

I started calling Shy Guy but he was totally in slumber.

“Hindi ka nya naririnig. Hindi sya magigising…” Then he laughed so boisterously, I easily concluded he was more like a demon than a maligno.

I struggled. Then he spoke again, “Wala ka nang magagawa! Akin ka na… Kahit saan ka magpunta, susundan kita…”

I started shouting, “Hinde, hindi mo ako makukuha. Umalis ka. Umalis ka!” But he was mocking me, repeating the words I uttered.

And then I started doing something I had not done for a veeery long time. I prayed.

He stopped mocking me. But as soon as I was finished, he began talking again. “Walang magagawa ‘yan… Nakatakda ka nang kunin.. Kukunin ka na namin…”

It lasted for about 10 minutes but it was the longest 10 minutes of my life. He was just telling me he would get me and that there was nothing I could do about it.

Suddenly, I was able to move and started scooting to one corner of the bed. I was sure it wasn’t a dream; I was fully awake.

Paranormal? Nah, I thought it was what scientists call sleep paralysis. Here’s the medical explanation for it, again from Wired.com:

“This research strongly suggests that sleep paralysis is related to REM sleep, and in particular REM sleep that occurs at sleep onset,” write researchers Julia Santomauro and Christopher C. French of the Anomalistic Psychology Research Unit, Goldsmiths, at the University of London. “Shift work, jet lag, irregular sleep habits, overtiredness and sleep deprivation are all considered to be predisposing factors to sleep paralysis; this may be because such events disrupt the sleep–wake cycle, which can then cause [sleep-onset REM periods].”

I would’ve shaken it off but I have had the same experience a number of times since then, even now that I’m here in the comforts of the city. It was the same guy, the same awful feeling. The monster who would get me in my sleep. Call me childish but it really scares the hell out of me.

Sleep paralysis? I think so. Nothing paranormal.

…

That may be a typical case of sleep paralysis but that doesn’t explain what happened to my friends.

THE GREASE-BLACK PEOPLE

Four of my friends drove to Subic to shoot a short film. They were Tonet, Dohna, Rex and Mimay. They hit the road early morning to catch the sunrise, which was integral in the film. They arrived in Subic at around 4am, around 2 hours too early so they decided to sleep in the car while waiting for the rest of the crew.

There were two cars. In Car A were Tonet and Rex; while Dohna and Mimay, Car B.

Tonet was facing an open window with trees on her view. She fell asleep. Later, she woke up only to find herself unable to move. She could not even turn her head so her sight was fixed on this area in front of her. From somewhere an old man appeared in the distance. He had long hair, red eyes and greasy black skin. Greasy because it was shiny and it felt like it bounced the moonlight, making him visible in pitch darkness.

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image courtesy of warkitty.com

One December evening in Paranaque, Andre, Dane and I were killing time by solving puzzles that I compiled in my head since I was a little boy. You see, I love solving puzzles and challenging my friends to put their problem-solving skills to a test. It was one of those nights. We spent hours solving the detective stories I throw at them. Mind you, they were very difficult puzzles.

Just before daybreak, Dane said:

Dane: I am used to simple puzzles like the giraffe-elephant-fridge puzzle.
Yoshke: What’s that puzzle?
Andre: OMG! You don’t know that?
Yoshke: No. Everyone else does?
Andre: Yep. So give it a try.
Dane: Alright, Yoshke, in three steps, how do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
Yoshke: Hmmm.

Hmmmmm…

I spend twenty minutes trying to figure it out. When I blurted, “Don’t tell me it’s ‘Open the ref, put the giraffe, and then close it.’”

They laughed their asses off.

Hey, I was expecting a serious puzzle and this silly puzzle just caught me off-guard!

Andre: How about this: In four steps, how do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Yoshke: (confident) (1) Open the door. (2) Move the giraffe aside. (3) Put the elephant inside. (4) Close the door.

Andre and Dane: WRONG!
Yoshke: Seriously? What’s the right answer?
Andre and Dane: (1) Open the door. (2) Take out the giraffe. (3) Put the elephant inside. (4) Close the door.

Yoshke: But I wanted to just move the giraffe aside!
Andre: Well you can’t! You have to remove the giraffe!
Yoshke: WHY?!!?
Dane: Because it won’t fit!

With that, I snapped!

Yoshke: HOW DARE YOU DICTATE HOW BIG MY REFRIGERATOR IS!!! I MANAGED TO PUT THE DARN GIRAFFE INTO IT; OF COURSE IT CAN ACCOMMODATE AN ELEPHANT!

Alright, so I took that puzzle too seriously. Wahaha.

We all love puzzles. Some people can endure trying to solve one puzzle game and not give up even if they end up hating themselves and hitting someone else for failing to solve it.

Whether it’s just a short detective quiz that a friend has shared or a simple anagram or even a mere puzzling question, we always try to solve them and share them with others. Today, most people are going crazy over sodoku, a puzzle originated in Japan and took the world by storm.

image courtesy of sentimentalrefugee.com

Why do most people love puzzles? Maybe it’s because it is human nature to always ask why or how. Maybe it’s because we love the feeling of being up for the challenge. Maybe it’s the sense of pride and accomplishment when we are able to solve one. Maybe it’s because puzzles divert our attention and escape the real world.

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Because the world is celebrating International Women’s Day on March 8… Wahaha, joke lang! It was supposed to be Top 10. I wanted to include Imelda Marcos but…. Nah. Not that evil, I think. And then Queen Isabella of Castille. And then my sister crossed my mind but I got too lazy so I just settled for nine. And oh, originally written for crunkish.com, a superduper fun website I used to write for.

They say that behind every great man is a great woman. Following this principle, we can also assume that behind every evil man is an evil woman. Yes, there have been cruel women in history that we fail to notice because we sometimes focus on male atrocity. However, some women have showed great inhumanity and have caused tragedy by their own, without any help from any men.

Whether they were the Bonnie to their respective Clyde or the independent, loner type, here are nine of the most utterly despicable women in history who interpreted “girl power” the wrong way. But first, a disclaimer: your ex is not on this list.

9. The Bloody Mary: QUEEN MARY I (1516-1558)

The first woman to be crowned ruler of England, Queen Mary I reigned through a brief period. Her marriage to Prince Philip of Spain caused Parliamentary dissent and rebellion. She forced England back to Roman Catholicism in a vile manner. She ordered the so-called Marian Persecutions, the execution of countless religious dissenters especially Protestant leaders; thus the epithet “Bloody Mary.”

8. Good Queen Bess: QUEEN ELIZABETH I (1533-1603)

Her nickname “Good Queen Bess” proves to be improper because of her bad behavior. Forget about Cate Blanchett’s excellent portrayal. Queen Elizabeth was as cruel as any ruler could get.

If Queen Mary brought England back to Roman Catholicism, Elizabeth suppressed it in the cruelest way possible. She had thousands of Catholics in Ireland and England murdered. She may have done good things as regards to parliament, it doesn’t take away the fact that she was an evil tyrant. She even ordered piracy and raiding of Spanish ships. She was also heavily involved in slave trading movement as she sponsored slavers to capture Africans. She also gave Queen Mary of Scots refuge but she betrayed her and kept her prisoner for 19 years before finally killing her.

7. The Angel of Death: BEVERLY GAIL ALLIT (1968-)

If you think all nurses are so adorable and admirable, you should meet Beverly Gail Allit. Also called “the Angel of Death,” she was a British pediatric nurse who was convicted of the murder of four kids at the children’s ward of Grantham and Kesteven Hospital in Lincolnshire in 1991.

As a nurse, she used a medical tool in her murders — the syringe. Yes, she would inject the child with potassium or insulin, leading to cardiac arrest. If she was unable to get the injections, she would suffocate the child. In total, she had assaulted 13 children. Only four were killed. You may be thinking that it’s a very small number for a serial killer to actually make it to this list but she did all these in a span of only 58 days. This made her earn a slot on the list of the most notorious serial killers in Britain.

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In any known culture, murder is considered a heinous crime. This is because human life is valued more than anything else in the world. Throughout history, however, we have seen countless serial killers and mass murderers rise and spread terror. They are often seen as heartless monsters who are incapable of seeing life as sacred.

Many of these serial killers commit murders one after another because of a mental illness or pure hatred and rage. Whatever their reasons are, they still manage to keep the attention of the public on them and mark their names on history. Here are the top 10 most notorious serial killers of all time.

Warning: graphic language and gruesome pictures below.

10. THE PIOUS MONSTER

Real name: Gilles de Rais (France)
Murder count: 80 to 600

Often dubbed as the precursor to the modern serial killer, Gilles de Rais of France was a nobleman and a military captain in the army led by St. Joan of Arc. He was convicted of raping, torturing and killing dozens (or hundreds) of young children, mostly boys between six to 18. Although he preferred boys, if circumstances required, he would make do with girls.

Surviving accounts narrate how Rais would lure young boys with blond hair and blue eyes to his residences. Then, he would sexually molest, torture and mutilate the poor kids. Most of the time, he would ejaculate over the body of the dying victim. He was not alone. He had accomplices helping him set up the heads of these kids so that they could judge who among these kids was the fairest.

Most of the bodies were burnt or buried and until now, the exact number of his victims is still unknown. However, it is placed between 80 and 200. Some think that it may even be as high as 600.

9. THE KILLER CLOWN

Real name: John Wayne Gacy (Chicago, Illinois, US, 1972 – 1978)
Murder count: more than 29

We know that clowns bring fun and joy to children. Well, one clown decided to prove us wrong. He brought terror, instead. Move over, JOKER. Hehe.

John Wayne Gacy is one of the most notorious killers in the history of America. He has two jobs. By day he was a respected member of the community and a business owner who loved to entertain children as Pogo the Clown.

But at night, he was a serial murderer, cruising the streets looking for teenage boys to torture and murder. Once he had the young men at his suburban home, he would show them a magic trick using handcuffs. However, there was no magic trick. With the boys already handcuffed, he would sexually assault them all he could. Then, the brutal torture and murder followed.

For six years, the bodies of his victims stacked up in the crawlspace of his home. Due to lack of space, he was forced to throw his next victims into the Des Plaines River.

He was finally caught when he let his last victim escape after a night of horrendous torture. When the police searched his house, they found 29 bodies piled up under the patio floor and in the crawlspace. In 1980, he was sentenced to death. In 1994, he was executed.

8. THE GAY SLASHER

Real name: Andrew Phillip Cunanan (US, 1996-1997)
Murder count: 5

Andrew Cunanan murdered only five people but he was very infamous all over the world. This Filipino-American serial killer was listed on the Ten Most Wanted Fugitives of the FBI.

Cunanan always visited gay neighbourhoods in San Diego, San Francisco and Los Angeles. Many of those he met described him as articulate, intelligent and charming. He was also said to have extreme sexual tastes and sadomasochistic inclination. Most of all, he was also very handsome. And he put this asset of his to evil use.

Unlike most serial killers who pick up their victims in the streets, Cunanan eyed the rich and the famous. Yes, he killed only five people but these people were SOME people. And he managed to kill them in a three-month cross country trip. His first victim was a former US Naval Officer, Jeffrey Trail. Architect David Madson came next. The next to meet his demise in Cunanan’s hands was Lee Miglin, a real estate developer. He then killed William Reese, a cemetery caretaker, for his truck. And his fifth and final victim — Gianni Versace, a billionaire fashion designer. Because Cunanan was reported to be working as a prostitute, the media speculated that four of his victims were actually his clients.

There was a national manhunt for Cunanan. Before being captured, however, he committed suicide in a Miami houseboat.

Andrew Cunanan after the suicide

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Status: I’m not dense. I just had a slight lack of common sense…
Music: Go On Girl – Ne-Yo

Note: I know Halloween has long been over but I just really have to blog about this because this is the first time I experienced something like this since I started blogging in 2004.

I don’t really have a third eye or sixth sense or something. But I have had a few encounters with the supernatural since I was in Grade School. I don’t see them, though. I hear them. I feel them. I just know when there’s someone else (or something else) present in the same room I am in. But it doesn’t happen all the time. Here are some of my past encounters:

- When I was in High School, my friends were shocked to see two “me’s” in the same room. Yep, someone took my form and did a freak-fest with my friends. I never saw him.

- Back in college, I was in Manila when I received a call from a cousin who was staying at our house in Batangas. She told me that she was currently looking at someone who looked exactly like me. That someone was standing at the doorway of our house.

- I was staying at my friend’s house when a heavy invisible force struck me. There was a part of their house that I couldn’t lay my eyes on. It was painful to the eyes and it really felt heavy. I can’t describe it properly. Another friend noticed how I was acting that night. She said, “You see him? I can. It’s an old man.” Later, we found out that it was where my friend’s lolo died.

As I said, since I started blogging in 2004, I haven’t had any contact with them. Until I got this job.

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Status: Starving.
Music: Jesus Take the Wheel – Carrie Underwood

After having a very interesting conversation with Kuya Tops about God, Jesus Christ and faith last night, I found myself thinking about my beliefs again. You know how much I love God but I don’t believe in Jesus’s divinity, which others find a little off and disturbing. I feel like I am a Jew stuck here in the Philippines with all the Christian Catholics looking at me in utter disgust — Oops, you might get me wrong — I’m NOT a Jew. Unknown to my very strict Catholic family, I do not consider myself a Christian. But last night, the conversation we had just made me asking if all my decisions were right.

And so I talked to God, and said:

“Lord, I know Jesus was great and all.
His teachings are all good, all wonderful, almost divine.
But I want to know if Jesus really is divine.
Is he really Your son? Let me know.
Please. Give me a sign.
If tomorrow, when I wake up,
I remember the dream I just had,
then, that’s it, I’ll be a believer again.”

Last night I had a dream that I just remembered the dream that I had had the night before.

Was that it?