I’ve been very unhappy lately. (But don’t worry Shy Guy fans, it’s not lovelife-related, hehe. That aspect of my life is perfect.)
One of the reasons is that my sister was diagnosed with a certain growth in her liver. I’m reminded of the time my dad experienced the same thing until his liver finally took a toll on him. And then, I’m facing a bunch of other problems.
I don’t know. It’s that part of the year again when everything seems to be not going the way I want ‘em to. And whenever I feel down, there’s only one thing that keeps me high — my blog.
I was cleaning up my yoshke.com@gmail.com account, deleting spams and grouping emails together (it’s the obsessive-compulsive in me again), when I found a few emails that really blew all the negative vibes off of me.
You know, when I was just starting out here in the blogosphere five years ago, I never really expected this blog to last this long. I just wanted something on which I would write my heart out — an honest online version of my handwritten journal where I could post what I feel, what I think about, how I live. So receiving emails and Facebook messages from my readers still feel surreal for me.
So since I feel sad right now, allow me to post something self-aggrandizing as I need to reboot my self-esteem.
Here are some mails I have received the past months. (Names changed, though.)
Hey yoshke! I read your blog earlier. I find it good, really. I actually find it great. I’m sending you this mail for no reason all, i just think you need to be commended for your writings. Well, I still cant help but hope that this email is still active. – Eli
Yoshke: That email is still active Eli! And thank you for your kind words.
Hey Yoshke, I’m your biggest half German half English fan … I hope … anyway … I love your blog . It makes me smile 
Anyway … Greetings from here in rainy england XD – Henny
Yoshke: Eeeeeeh. I love Germany, I love England. Therefore, I love you so much. Haha.
Hi Yoshke, I’ve been reading your blog. Nice posts. Interesting. Keep writing. I’m your fan now. I always find pleasure checking your blog. hehehe. – JL
Yoshke: Thank you, thank you, thank you.
These emails are from readers in an Islamic country.
Hi Yoshke…
How are you? Let me introduce my self, my name is Bob. I learned about you from your website. Actually, I accidentally saw your website, it’s just because you posted a picture of that hot male model Oli Pettigrew there, and you said sort of what do you think about this boy ? Then I said to my self, yeah, he so gorgeous…, something make me wondering that, “Yoshke is a boy. Why did he put this on his website?”
I really want to be your friend and if you want it too, because i guess you must be a very great person and have a lot bravery to tell the world that you are gay. I have a lot of friends but i always avoid meeting and hang out with my friends because i worry if they find out my secret.
Yoshke: I can be your friend despite the distance between us. Your situation is sad. I can post gay stuff on my blog because homosexuality in my country is pretty accepted. I do hope you find happiness soon.
Oh my gosh Yoshke, you’re an amazing person from my P.O.V,
I really want to follow your foot steps. I visit your site and i’m so excited when I’m reading your blog. Keep it up!
I hope you’d become my inspiration because i dont have someone i could copy, people around me are all straight and they always demand that I act like one. It’s irritating.
I’m hoping that you would give one or two tips for those gay men who visit your site, and write something that could change how straight people think so they would know how it feels to be different. Thanks. – Buck
Yoshke: That’s a good idea for a blog post. Will surely be writing about it. Thanks for the suggestion.
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