A Break-up Letter


I never expected I'd be writing you this letter. We've had six years of wonderful memories but I'm afraid it had come to the point where you started to Read more

The New Yoshke.com


New look. New attitude. New experiences. Honestly, I had been neglecting this blog the past few weeks because of my awfully hectic schedule. Work had been unforgiving on weekdays and Read more

Sometimes We Burn to Live


Whenever I meet people for the first time, it always happens. When they start their sentence with "I hope you don't mind me asking but," I know they are going Read more

Fireworks, Hormones, and this Blog Post


You remember last week when I told you I found it difficult to blog since I met you? Since we became a couple officially, I have not had enough Read more

Do They Read Blogs in Heaven?


Whenever I say that the earliest memory I have is the accident wherein I had my left arm somewhat toasted, I lie. My earliest memory is, in fact, months Read more

Unusual Breakfast


Here we are again. In the usual corner. Usual table. Usual diner. Usual time. And most probably, usual meal. I'm getting tired of this really. Everything's a routine. And Read more

Top 10 National Stereotypes


Heaven is where the cooks are French, the police are British, the mechanics are German, the lovers are Italian and everything is organized by the Swiss. Hell is where the Read more

Why Nursery Rhymes Are So Violent


A few months ago, I was teaching my 4-year old nephew some nursery rhymes with a DVD. After a lot of singing, he slowly digested the story that the Read more

Top 10 Worst Things to Say During Sex


Sex is the art of love. It must be done in the most enjoyable and most satisfying manner. This act of love of two naked individuals reminds us that Read more

The Promil Kid Drops the Bomb


Of all the living things created by God, I love my nephew the most. I call him the Promil Kid. He’s the cutest thing. I’ve always written about him Read more

Conversations

Whatever Happened to Queue Courtesy?

Posted on by Yoshke in Conversations, Rants |

Status: Pissed.
Music: What About Now | Daughtry

I may be gay but I consider myself a gentleman. When riding the train, I usually give my seat to the woman standing in front of me. And when a woman and I happen to enter a building or a store at the same time, I give way and hold the door for her. These things, I do because I believe I am a good person. And of course, whenever I practise such acts of respect and generosity, and as common courtesy suggests, I expect a simple “Thank you.

If the woman fails to thank me, I usually just shrug it off. Yes, I expect a tiny display of gratitude but I don’t really give a damn if her parents did a terrible job raising her. But what the woman shouldn’t do is screw me after I held the door for her. And that’s exactly what happened last Tuesday.

After walking around Glorietta with my very pretty cousin, I felt the need to check my email. So we headed to Netopia somewhere near Ayala MRT Station. As always, I opened the door for my cousin. Another woman entered as I was holding the door. After I had closed it, I approached the counter. There was an old man logging in so I stood behind him and waited for my turn. This woman approached the counter and positioned herself BESIDE the old man in front of me. She said to the cashier demandingly, “Internet, please.”

At that moment, I knew she was trying to get ahead of me and jump the queue. Two customers who had just arrived stood behind that woman, forming a longer queue.

Seconds later, the man in front of me was logged in and walked away from the counter. Again, the woman said, “Internet, please.” And because I knew what she was up to, I also said to the cashier, “Miss, Internet.”

To my surprise, the cashier reminded me that there was a line and asked me to stand at the end of it. I flashed a joshed look and protested tactfully, “Miss, I am first in line.

Then, the woman beside me (the one I held the door for) said, “No, I am first here.

I ignored the woman and said to the cashier, “I was standing behind the man who just left.

But the woman was insisting, “No, I am first.

At that moment, I felt my blood reach boiling point. So out of utter rage, I turned to that ugly, little bitch and said, “What the hell are you talking about?! You know I am first in line. I approached the counter first. And my Gawd, I even held the door for you when you were coming in!

The woman yelled, “No, you’re a lier! You did not held the door for me!

Believe it or not, I still managed to snicker! But I didn’t mind her grasp of the English language (or the lack thereof). I turned to the cashier and insisted calmly, “Miss, I am first in line. You may have thought this ungrateful woman here was because she kept on saying ‘Internet, please’ even when you were busy entertaining the man who was in front of me.”

With that, she logged me in and gave me a number. I turned around and started to walk away. But that old, ugly witch kept on shouting “You’re a lier. Stop lying!” She went on and on.

Lord, forgive me for having done this. I stopped walking, turned to her, and bellowed “BITCH!!!

That shut her up. My cousin gave me a tap on the back and uttered smilingly, “Good job!”

PS: When I was logging out, the cashier apologised to me and claimed that her co-workers had just told her that I was THE first in line.

image courtesy of bonnvoyage.wordpress.com

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My Achy-Breaky-Flirty Tonsils

Posted on by Yoshke in Conversations, Gay, Humor |

Status: Way better.
Music: Feelin’ So Good | Jennifer Lopez

The past few weeks have been a bitch-ass on me. I struggled with tonsilitis, giving me hellish fever and excruciating time eating. For two weeks, I couldn’t get out of bed. The only time I went out of the house was when I decided to see a doctor. After all, this was my fourth tonsilitis this year and my usual meds didn’t seem to work this time. Ah, damn illness loves me so.

Since our family doctor was somewhere in the South celebrating summer, I chose to visit a hospital. My mum went with me and yes, I let her (because that meant she’d be the one payin’ the bills).

When I approached the front desk, it suddenly dawned on me that it was the hospital my ex-girlfriend works at. I prayed she won’t show up (coz I looked hideous). Thank God she did not. Instead, when I entered the emergency room (which also serves as the hospital’s clinic), I was welcomed by a young doctor — A HOTTT DOCTOR.

Life is pretty fair after all, I thought. Haha.

The nurses took the usual stuff — temperature, blood pressure, etc. And then the hot doctor (probably in his late 30s) started asking questions about my condition. He seemed puzzled that I had been taking the right meds but they weren’t working. And then he asked, “Have you been smoking?”

Thank God my mum was busy texting, she didn’t hear a thing. I asked her if she could just wait for me outside because hey, I’m 22.

After kicking my mum out of the room, I told the doctor that I had been smoking. Like any sane doctor, he asked me to stop. He then asked me to open my mouth coz he needed to take a look at my swollen throat. His brows met.

Me: Is it bad?
Doc: Let’s just say I couldn’t see your tonsils. They’re covered with pus.
Me: I’ll take that as “bad.”
Doc: What have you been shoving down your throat? (Rhetorical)
Me: You have no idea.

I grinned. He snickered. Haha. Then he placed his hands on my neck, just below my jaw and started feeling my swollen whatever.

Doc: Does it hurt when you swallow?
Me: Depends on what I swallow.
Doc: Haha. What else is there to swallow other than food?
Me: I meant, it depends on whether what I swallow is hot or cold. Cold, hurts big time. Hot, doesn’t.

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Let’s Talk Pink

Posted on by Yoshke in Conversations, Friends, Gay, Humor |

Status: Oooh, these cute pink earphones…
Music: Who Knew
- Pink

Everybody keeps noticing my light pink earphones lately. And they’ve been tormenting me, telling me so blatantly how GAY it is of me to actually own them.

Well, I AM gay. So, what’s their problem?! I don’t get it.

But then again, some of them don’t know about my pink secret yet. So okie, I guess, I get it.

# # #

Last weekend I was with two of my close friends. When Girl (obviously, name changed to protect our friendship, hehe) showed up, my initial reaction was look at Boy. His face was just as sour as mine. We then smiled, almost laughing. It’s because of Girl’s get-up. Girl was wearing a violent pink top and a sky blue skirt. So when Girl went to the washroom, we finally had time to talk about it.

Boy said to me, “Tell her not to stand still or she’d look like an MMDA overpass. Tell her it’s horrendous! Tell her!”

“I can’t do that, ” I protested.

“Why not?”

“My parents raised me right! I only talk about a person behind her back.”

Boy displayed an odd look.

So I added, “It’s called ‘friendship.’”

# # #

Suddenly, I miss an ex-girlfriend. She loves pink. And she has a new boyfriend.

Uhm, I think it’s about time that I also get a boyfriend. Anyone? Hahaha.

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Peter, Peter, Pumpkin-Eater…

Posted on by Yoshke in Conversations, Friends |

Status: Delighted
Music:
Always Be My Baby – Mariah Carey


Dohna, Peter, and Asta in Matabungkay, Batangas

If there was only one thing that I would never forget about the six-week English camp, that would be the friendship I had with Peter. Peter, or Lee Jeong-Hoon was the brightest kid in that camp. He was consistently the top student. And he was incredibly close to me both physically and emotionally. And right now, of all the students we had in that camp, Peter, definitely, is the one I miss the most.

So I was really delighted when I received this e-mail from him a day after they went back to Korea (this morning, actually):

Hello, Teacher. This is Peter. I’m back home. I’m very happy to meet my family again. Thank you for your kindness when I was in the Philippines. I miss you so much. I wish we will see each other again.
- Peter

I was really thrilled. I’ve had a number of Korean friends before. But Peter is different because he is a kid. I’m not really fond of children, but for some reason, I got really close to him. He is such a sweet kid that I really want to adopt him. I swear.

And it kind of made me laugh. No matter how many times Peter had told me that I was his most hated teacher, or his least favourite, not once that I believed him. I knew he was bluffing everytime. How could I buy something like that when all he was writing about for his Writing Class was me. Nyahaha. The night before they left for Seoul, he told me he would NEVER miss me and that he would NEVER want to see me again. And I told him he did not mean what he was saying because I could feel I was his favourite teacher. *evil laugh* Now, Peter, wherever you are, you’re telling me you miss me so much?! *evil laugh again*

I will soon post my Matabungkay Camp Chronicles when I’m ready to. Meanwhile, bear with me. Hehe.

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Shall I Let Him Take the Wheel?

Posted on by Yoshke in Blurts, Conversations, Emo, Mysteries |

Status: Starving.
Music:
Jesus Take the Wheel – Carrie Underwood

After having a very interesting conversation with Kuya Tops about God, Jesus Christ and faith last night, I found myself thinking about my beliefs again. You know how much I love God but I don’t believe in Jesus’s divinity, which others find a little off and disturbing. I feel like I am a Jew stuck here in the Philippines with all the Christian Catholics looking at me in utter disgust — Oops, you might get me wrong — I’m NOT a Jew. Unknown to my very strict Catholic family, I do not consider myself a Christian. But last night, the conversation we had just made me asking if all my decisions were right.

And so I talked to God, and said:

“Lord, I know Jesus was great and all.
His teachings are all good, all wonderful, almost divine.
But I want to know if Jesus really is divine.
Is he really Your son? Let me know.
Please. Give me a sign.
If tomorrow, when I wake up,
I remember the dream I just had,
then, that’s it, I’ll be a believer again.”

Last night I had a dream that I just remembered the dream that I had had the night before.

Was that it?

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I Didn’t Say It was Your Fault; I Said I was Going to Blame a Bulgarian

Posted on by Yoshke in Career, Conversations, Friends, Personal Life, Sports |

Status: Gosh. I’m sooo… RICH. Haha. Kidding.
Music: Pag-alis - Barbie Almalbis


Wow! It’s been two weeks since I last updated this blog. Well, I don’t have any reason to go online anyway. Aside from updating this blog, the only reasons I step into cyberspace are (1) Fantasy Football, which I don’t expect you to understand because who cares about football in this basketball-crazy country aside from Ayn, KZ and myself; and (2) Plam, who is now attending a university and is very busy studying that he seldom goes online. Who is this Plam, you ask? Secret.

Anyway, another reason I haven’t updated this blog for so long is work. I sooo love my job. I was in Matabungkay Beach Resort last weekend and it’s considered a business/company trip. It was fun — especially when everything was paid by the company including my meals and they provided a car and a driver. Wowowee!

This Thursday, off to Villa Escudero in San Pablo City. Next Thursday, Enchanted Kingdom in Sta. Rosa, Laguna. And my boss requires me to go to different places every week (Who wouldn’t want to go to these places for free with a driver and a car and free meals)? And he calls this work. I call it fun, especially when he pays me thousands of pesos a day for “working”

.

# # #

Here’s another news. A friend in the province, Andrew, found out that I’m bisexual. He said he had no idea at all until he googled my (real) full name and found this blog.

No one in my family or in my province knows that I am bisexual or that I have a blog or that I use the name Yoshke as my pen/nick name. Although I have been posting several pictures of myself lately, I didn’t know that anyone would actually find this blog by googling my real full name.

But it’s okay. Andrew is a good friend, anyway. Nevertheless, as I’ve said a thousand times before, if you want to ruin my life, all you have to do is tell anyone in my family about it. And that’s it — I’d be dead.

It’s a good thing Andrew first talked to me and not ask anyone else in the province. So I was able to tell him not to tell anyone. Hihi.

I’ve been avoiding to type my full name on this blog but SOME BULGARIAN GUY unintentionally mentioned my real first name when he reacted to one of my entries. Hehehe. (Hey, I’m not blaming you. Hahaha. It’s okay.)

# # #

By the way, I would like to — I don’t know — thank or hate Bebs for sort of featuring me on his blog:

“Naisip ko dapat umeport ako ng English sa blog.  Kasi. Kasi. Si ES kasi.  Umieport ng inglesan sa blog.  Me nakabasa. Gwapo. Kamukha ni Tom Cruise slash Brandon Routh. In ader words, naging sila.  Kasi natuwa siya sa blog ni ES…”

Bebs, I don’t know what to say. I can’t say everything you said is absolutely true. Hmmm…. Let me see… Here: How was envy for dinner? Nyahaha.

Pero seryoso, Bebs, magkaibigan na lang kami. Wala naman kasing sense ang pagiging mag-on kung nasa kabilang parte siya ng mundo, ano? Ayan, nag-Tagalog tuloy ako.

# # #

One of the crazy conversations I had with Reen

:

Yoshke: Reen! Help! Waaaah! I think I’m falling in love with an animé character!
Reen: Gagu! You’re asking the wrong person. I’m married to one!

Mabuhay ang animé! The only world where everyone is cute and pretty. It’s just that… it’s not real.

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Speak, Squeal, Spill

Posted on by Yoshke in Conversations, Friends, Humor, University |

Status: Clueless
Music: Who Do You Love - The Moffatts


WITH VIKTOR KRUM (Haha)
Parts of my conversations with a Bulgarian online friend (I don’t know if I’m allowed to mention his name):

Yoshke: You’re pure evil. But if all devils were just like you, then I would definitely buy a one-way ticket to hell.
Him: Why not a one-way ticket to Bulgaria? There’s one here.

This one, we had more than a month ago.

Yoshke: New York has the Statue of Liberty. Paris has the Eiffel Tower. What’s in Bulgaria that is well worth a visit?
Him: Aren’t I enough?
Yoshke: Well, yeah. You’re enough.

# # #

WITH A FOREVER-INNOCENT FRIEND
A simple talk with a young friend who was so unsure about how he felt for some girl.

Ken:
How do you know if you’re in love?
Yoshke: I don’t think there are definite standard symptoms. You just know. That’s it. You just know. Why? Are you in love?
Ken: I don’t know.
Yoshke: You’re not in love.
Ken: What makes you so sure?
Yoshke: Cos you don’t know.

# # #

WITH MY HALF-FRENCH BROTHER
This convo I had with Josh on our way to FC Gloria’s Canteen for lunch after our French class the day before my birthday.

Josh:
You already got a Kitchie Nadal album?
Yoshke: No. But I borrowed a friend’s and listened to it last night.
Josh: How was it? You liked it?
Yoshke: One big NO. I only liked a couple of tracks. The record is rubbish.
Josh: Oh, don’t be so cruel on her. You’d probably appreciate the album more if you listen to it a little longer.
Yoshke: I don’t think so. Only a couple of songs really appealed to me.

After lunch, he handed me something in a white plastic bag.

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Dwelling Like a Frozen Zombie

Posted on by Yoshke in Career, Conversations, Friends |

We were about to go to Starbucks but we couldn’t move a bone because we were waiting for Tonet. Knowing how impatient Dohna was, I lent her my cellphone so she could text Tonet. After handing back the cellphone to me, I checked out what had happened to their little talk on my phone. Here’s the entire conversation.

Dohna: Wer na u? D2 na us at Vinzons.
Tonet: Stil along Q.Ave. U wait me there ha?
Dohna: May choice ba naman us? U bilis urself. We’r being rained at.
Tonet: E di u wait me der at a shaded area!
Dohna: Oh so bobo naman us. Ok. We’l be at d railings of d Vinzons ok?

Haha. It’s always really fun to be with Tonet and Dohna. And oh, with KZ, too.

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Everybody is Capable of Change

Posted on by Yoshke in Career, Conversations, Friends, Public Affairs, The World |

I had a little talk with Eric Declaro. He encouraged me to pursue taking the Foreign Service Exams. But I have just found out that the deadline was May 29 for this year’s applications. Oh well, I might as well wait for another year. We also talked about some other stuff…

Eric: So, where do you want to be assigned if ever you become a Foreign Service Officer or a diplomat?

Yoshke: Germany… or France.

Eric: France, I understand. But Germany….

Yoshke: Why not? Have a problem with the Germans?

Eric: Oh, those racist, Nazi, holocaust yadda yadda…

Yoshke: Easy… easy. You sound more racist to me. That was Cretaceous Period you’re talking about. There’s such a thing as ‘change’, a’right? Did you know that after the Asian tsunami incident a couple of years ago, Germany donated more than 375 million euros to the affected nations namely Indonesia, Sri Lanka and India? That was unmatched by any other country and probably bigger than all the other donations combined. They also set up a early warning device. And besides, forget about the holocaust. They have also constructed a holocaust memorial in the heart of Berlin.

Eric: You know what, all those things, there is a word for it… I just forgot what it is… [pause] Oh! I remember!

Yoshke: What’s the word?

Eric: GUILT.

Yoshke: Get outta here!

# # #

The World Cup is finally over. The hell with the Italians. Congrats, anyway. The World Cup was over for me since Germany lost to Italy in the semi-final.

Oh, I really need a job now. I’m starting to rot. I can feel it. Waaaah!

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