Personal Life

And That’s the Bottom Line!

Posted on January 11, 2010 by Yoshke in Conversations, Friends, Humor |

Here are some completely innocent statements but my friends’ dirty minds tell them otherwise.

SANAY NA

One very toxic night, I had been editing political ads on my laptop with my small marketing teammates at our apartment FOR HOURS. My friends Dohna, Dane, and Frances were sitting on the airbed while I was on the stairs facing a chair where the laptop was on. There was just no place in the mattress left so I had to sit on the bottom step of the staircase despite the discomfort.

Dohna grew concerned about my situation so she asked, “Yoshke, masakit ba?”

And without thinking, I replied, “Hindi naman. Sanay na ang pwet ko.”

Everyone burst into laughter. I meant I got used to being seated for hours.

PUMAPASOK

Frances, Dohna, Asta, JT, Maikel and I were at Starbucks Shangri-la last Thursday night when we agreed to exchange horror stories. Frances was narrating a horrifying encounter when they stayed in Baguio a few years ago, wherein an old lady was torturing her in her sleep but she was awake and she couldn’t move. More like a case of sleep paralysis.

Frances narrated, “Tapos hindi talaga ako makagalaw. Tapos gusto kong sumigaw pero hindi ko magawa, walang lumalabas na boses. Tapos weird, ang hirap ng i-explain. Alam nyo yung feeling na may malaking bagay na pumapasok sa katawan mo?“

“Oo, alam ko ang feeling nang may malaking bagay na pumapasok sa katawan ko,” I interrupted.

Everyone gave me a look as if saying “You ruined dinner.” Sorry naman. She asked! I just answered. I meant I had the same sleep paralysis experience.

HINDI QUALIFIED

While preparing dinner at the condo a few months ago.

Andre: Pag nagkaroon ng Top Chef Philippines, parang ang sarap sumali. Kaso hindi ako qualified.
Yoshke: Bakit naman?
Andre: Hindi kasi ako “top.”

He meant he’s not that experienced a cook!

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Happy 2010!

Posted on January 1, 2010 by Yoshke in Blurts |

Before this day ends, let me just greet everyone a Happy New Year! Hope we have a POWERFUL 2010 ahead of us!

It’s my year. I’m a tiger!

2009 has been the best year of my life. Beat that, 2010!

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Pasaway sa Pasay

Posted on December 16, 2009 by Yoshke in Conversations, Friends, Humor |

Vice President wannabe Jejomar Binay’s Ganito Kami sa Makati promotional ad-slash-political ad in disguise says a lot about the city he’s running. Whether it’s true or not, I think Makati is one of those cities in Metro Manila that project a relatively positive image to the public. But how about the others?

It’s actually quite funny what kind of impressions some cities have on people. For example, I’m sure you have heard people making fun of Malabon and its Venice-like situation, except devoid of all grandeur. Or how many of us still associate the entire Muntinlupa with New Bilibid Prison as though the prison is all there is in the city.

This post isn’t about Makati, Malabon, or Muntinlupa. It’s about another city in the southern part of the metropolis — Pasay City.

I’ve been told a number of times about the city’s reputation. For example, when I’m going to Pasay and I’m asking my mom or my friends for directions, they would insist that I do not go alone or that I do not bring any valuables. Even my dear friends from Pasay tell me how frustrated they are with how things go, especially how things are being run.

Is Pasay really that bad? I’m asking coz the only parts of Pasay I go to frequently are the SM Mall of Asia area, DFA, and MRT Taft station.

Here are some instances in which I thought Pasay was used by people around me for their random display of sense of humor.

ANYTHING GOES

Fresh from iBlog Mini at World Trade Center a few weeks ago, Andre and I decided to proceed to SM Mall of Asia to check out the new line of hoodies at Fox Men. We didn’t know where the jeepney terminal was so we started looking for it.

Andre: I don’t think it’s here. Maybe it’s over there?
Yoshke: But we have to cross the road to go there.
Andre: So let’s cross, come on.
Yoshke: Err, wait. Can we? This may be a no-jaywalking zone.
Andre: Yoshke, duh? This is Pasay. There are no rules!

A TALE OF A MISSING COMB

“Where the hell is my comb?!”

Debbie had spent minutes trying to find her comb in the office. This happened two years ago, I was a web writer then. Debbie misplaced her comb and she just could not find it in her cubicle. Out of utter frustration, she talked to herself like she normally did.

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Andre and the Comedienne: Good Looks Chronicles

Posted on November 13, 2009 by Yoshke in Celebrities, Conversations, Friends |

It’s been a while since I posted conversations with Andre. We don’t spend that much time together anymore even though we’re now housemates. Ironic, yeah?

BLIND SPOT

While walking around at a mall:

Yoshke: Uy, nakita mo yung nakasalubong natin? Grabe, he was checking you out! Tingin sya nang tingin sayo!
Andre: Ah talaga? Hindi ko nakita! Gwapo?
Yoshke: Err… Hinde.
Andre: Aaaah… kaya hindi ko nakita.

Aba, may selective blindness!

TOP 3

Shy Guy: Uy Andre, may papakilala ako sa’yo na officemate. Gwapo. Eto Facebook nya.
Andre: Oh sige sige.

Shy Guy showed Andre the guy’s Facebook profile.

Andre: Ay, bet ko na yan!
Shy Guy: Kaso drop out sya ng UST.
Andre: Ay OK lang yun, drop out din naman ako.
Shy Guy: Eh UP ka naman.
Andre: True. At least kahit drop out ako, yung school ko ay nasa top 3!
Yoshke: Top 3 ng…?
Andre: Top 3 ng Cheerdance Competition! Wahahaha.

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I Was Supposed to Get that “Coffeehouse Planner” But I Got Fat, Broke and Insomniac on the 10th Frappe

Posted on November 5, 2009 by Yoshke in Reviews, Whatnots |

If you don’t understand why everyone is going ga-ga over that certain planner a certain coffeehouse is selling or giving away after you’ve turned fat, broke or insomniac, welcome to the club.

Well, there’s nothing wrong with it actually. If you always buy coffee, then it makes perfect sense to avail of the planner in question. In fact, I admire the passion and determination of others to the point of skipping lunch or dinner or both just to grab their copy of that planner every year. (I even know a couple of kids who ask money from their parents and claim it’s for a project for their Social Studies class. Social, alright.)

It’s a cool planner I must admit. If I were that into overpriced coffee, I’d probably get myself one, too. But I’m happy with my Kapeng Barako so, thanks, but no thanks.

Anyway, just as that coffeehouse everyone is ga-ga over releases their planner that everyone is ga-ga over, a couple of friends came up with a brilliant idea of producing their own planner that could give that “coffeehouse planner everyone is ga-ga over” a run for its overpriced life. It’s more like my friends’ personal project but they printed 498 more, so you might want to buy a copy. LOL.

So what is this ingenious planner that threatens the order of the society?

Well, it’s called the “I-was-supposed-to-get-that-coffeehouse-planner-but-I-got-fat-and-broke-on-the-10th-frappe planner.” Sorry for its quite lengthy name, but there’s no other name more suitable.

This mocking planner talks to you in Tagalog and treats you as a real friend, the kind you always suspect of being gay or schizophrenic. It does not give you boring inspirational quotes every page. Heck, it might even insult you, like a real friend. And on top of it all, like a real friend, it’s the one you’d like to use as much as you can.

It has art, it has wit, and you don’t have to buy 30 frakkin’ cups of coffee just to get it. You just have to shell out P320. See? Like a real friend, it’s cheap.

The picture above is the cover. Now, take a look at the inside pages:

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My Top 10 Favorite Yoshke.com Blog Posts

Posted on October 21, 2009 by Yoshke in Lists, Vanities |

Ladies and gentlemen, this is my 500th post! And to celebrate, allow me to be vain for a moment and feature my 10 favorite entries on this blog.

I’ve been blogging for over five years. I was so passionate about my first blog but a year later as I was backreading, it dawned on me that I was full of crap and so was my blog. All I posted was my immature ramblings so I decided to just kill the blog.

A few months later, I started another blog on Blogdrive. Although I couldn’t say it wasn’t immature, it was a teeny bit more sensible. The next year, I moved to WordPress and purchased yoshke.com domain name. That’s when I took blogging seriously.

This blog is called The Mind, Times, and Life of Yoshke Dimen because I want this to reflect my handwritten journal, which i still keep. (My handwritten journal has more detailed, more scandalous, more personal entries. LOL. I’d be dead if somebody stole it.) So why the title?

“Mind” because this blog documents what’s on my mind, what I think about. I write about what’s going on in my head from my European cable provider to Pinoy Big Brother to Oli Pettigrew to traveling the world to lawn tennis.

“Times” because decades from now, when I look back to this era, this blog should reflect the environment I am in and what’s going on in the world. I’d love to revisit the blockbuster movies of this time, the hit TV shows, the political climate, and even global warming.

“Life” because this is still my personal blog and it should chronicle what I do and feel and how I live my life. That when I became famous, there’s a convenient resource for researchers and biographers to poke into my past. Haha. Kidding.

Enough intro, here are the upper 2% of Yoshke.com posts that I really enjoyed writing.

10. MY TOP 50 ALL-TIME FAVORITE FILMS

I never take writing movie reviews seriously. Being a Film graduate and having directed and written a few films, I thought writing movie reviews would make my life too film-saturated. Thus, I only write random thoughts about the flicks I see. Compiling my top 50 most well-loved movies of all time was an enjoyable ride. It was a great experience looking back and ranking all the films I have seen and picking the 50 that I’d watch over and over again.

Another movie entry I had a damn good time writing was a rundown of all the Batman movies. This post is special because I’m a huge Batman fan and to prepare for this entry, I had to see all Batman films again — from Tim Burton to Christopher Nolan, from Michael Keaton to Christian Bale, from Joker to Poison Ivy back to Joker.

Some of the movies I enjoyed writing a short review of include Doubt (2008), the Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008), and The Reader (2008).

9. TOP 10 SIGNS THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND IS GAY

This post gave this blog its first traffic boost. I used to not care about traffic; I just wanted to write, just write. But this post made me realize it actually felt good that something I write get to be read by people around the globe and it’s nice to interact with those who comment.

This list was originally published in December 2006 but I gave it a makeover and reposted it in April 2008.

Other lists I had a great time writing are the most awful things to say during sex, the top ways to break-up with your partner, the places to find your true love. More lists here.

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What’s With the H?

Posted on October 13, 2009 by Yoshke in Public Affairs, Rants |

I found this statement somewhere. (But of course, it’s not just somewhere.) Someone described herself with this:

I hate people whose names have the letter H in their names randomly inserted to it, like in Mhe-Ann and Rhon. It’s just uncalled for. It pisses me off.

The first time I read it, I gasped, “What did I do to her?”

To all who don’t know, Yoshke is just a pen name. My real name is quite common but (yes, you guessed it right) it has an H randomly inserted to it. Like Mhe-Ann. Or Rhon.

I don’t even know the girl, yet she hates me for my name. Of course, my first reaction was “It’s not my fault. I didn’t choose my name.” But the more I think about it, the more I realize that it wasn’t my parents’ fault either. Or anyone’s. It isn’t a fault at all. What’s so annoying with a randomly inserted H, really?

But then, I can’t blame anyone who hates people who have the letter H in their names where there shouldn’t be. After all, I have my own share of irrational hatred. For one, I hate cooked carrots. It’s yummy and delicious and orange. But I hate it for no reason at all. My friends say I discriminate cooked carrots but I can’t help despising it.

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Protected: A Not-So-Straight History:
Top 10 Great People in History Who Might Be Gay

Posted on October 8, 2009 by Yoshke in Gay, History, Lists, The World |

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The Pics Have the Answers

Posted on September 30, 2009 by Yoshke in Humor, Whatnots |

I’ve been wanting to write something lately but because the Typhoon Ondoy decided to be such a bitchass on the Philippines, priorities shifted and blogging just kissed the bottom of the list. (Btw, let’s continue helping the victims.)

Anyway, I realized that my last two entries on this blog are both very serious and very personal so I want to publish something light. I will post a storm-related entry one of these days, I just need to finish the article.

I was browsing through my pictures in my laptop when I stumbled upon old photos and screenshots. They say that a picture paints a thousand words. True, but wait there’s more. It’s also the easiest way to answer questions.

1. How good I am at bowling.

That’s four consecutive strikes, my dear friends. And one spare! (Yabang!) Just don’t ask me what happened after.

2. Why, for a moment, I was convinced God is everywhere.

Imagine my surprise when this popped up on my screen. Apparently, it was just a friend named Jesus.

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Fireworks, Hormones, and this Blog Post

Posted on September 29, 2009 by Yoshke in Love, Personal Life |

You remember last week when I told you I found it difficult to blog since I met you? Since we became a couple officially, I have not had enough time to bond with my nephew and I don’t hang out with Andre as often as I used to. Not that I’m complaining. I enjoy every minute I spend with you.

You joshed, “Why not blog about me? Am I not something worth blogging about?”

You are, of course. But I choose not to. After all, you are one part of my life that I’d rather keep private. That’s how possessive I am of you.

But I’ll give you this blog post.

They say that the hormones responsible for that incredible feeling of falling and being in love linger in the brain for only six months. So it’s a chemically-induced emotion, after all. Six months. Most of the time, these chemicals dry up along with the love.

So that’s why most couples I know barely last seven months. Six months of hormonal euphoria and the seventh month is spent by the neurons deliberating whether to stay in the relationship or to call it quits. And many of them choose to break the other’s heart.

You remember our first date? We were in UP Diliman that night. We sat on the grass and suddenly, fireworks started sparkling in the sky. Neither of us knew or even expected there’d be fireworks. But there were. You borrowed my cellphone, composed a message, and gave it back to me. I still have that message on my inbox. It was probably the first time the love hormones rushed in to my brain.

That was more than six months ago.

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I blog for myself. This is a personal online journal of a nobody. Every person has a story. Every place brings back a memory. Every object triggers an emotion or a thought. What I blog about are these ordinary, average, little things, little happenings, little lives around me. But I have always believed that the universe is fueled by things common and little. And I hope that this blog, no matter how personal, would somehow touch, move, or inspire others the way they inspired me to blog. Even just a single person. Even just a little.

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