I Prefer It Free, Sorry

massage therapy

The other week, my self-esteem was crushed by a small piece of paper. I was fixing my bag outside a convenience store in Tagaytay City when somebody gave me a piece of paper with a short note on it. Without looking at the stranger and the paper, I pocketed the note and expected the guy to leave me alone. Unfortunately for me, he was there for business. "Massage, sir? I can massage you, sir, while you're here in Tagaytay," the stranger said. "No, thanks," I declined. "I'm on my way back to Manila." I was still busy trying to put all the pasalubongs into my backpack. "I also do … [Read more...]

Top 10 Weirdest Animal Mating Rituals

panda_sex

Yesterday, Valentine's Day. This month, Love Month. Gaaawd, it's mating season once again. My supposedly 1.5-hour travel time from Makati to Lemery, Batangas became 4.5 hours last night! I was stuck in traffic in Tagaytay for more than three fuckin' hours! And when I say fuckin' hours, I mean fuckin' hours. There are too many people celebrating the Love Day in Tagaytay last night. Damn you lustful people, damn you. So let's talk about sex. Aah, sex. Sex --- everybody loves sex. Ask your parents, your grandparents or even random strangers on the streets (especially the streets of Tagaytay … [Read more...]

How My Friends See Me II: Mastering Vanilla Sex?

What's wrong with my friends? They've been so very imaginative lately; they're accusing me of things. Things that are, well, pretty amusing. Very recently, they, albeit separately, came up with an interesting theory. More like a guess, actually. ROBIN While malling. A few months ago. Robin: I kinda miss the "bossy" you. Yoshke: Hey, I was never bossy. Robin: You were. You are. It's just today that you seem to be not that. Yoshke: Must be the weather. Robin: What about the weather? Yoshke: Humid. Makes me feel sleepy. Robin: I bet you're also bossy in bed. Yoshke: OMG. … [Read more...]

Top 10 Worst Things to Say During Sex

turtle-sex-cartoon funny

Sex is the art of love. It must be done in the most enjoyable and most satisfying manner. This act of love of two naked individuals reminds us that we can be free. In fact, in this very intimate and private activity, we let go of all our apprehensions, fears and insecurities. Some people want to do this in silence. Some prefer the rough, noisy way. Whatever way you choose, never spoil the moment by saying something incredibly stupid. Here are the top 10 most awful things to say while making love. (Not that I'm an expert. It's just what my friends contributed. Weh.) 10. “Cream. We … [Read more...]

Oh, Men!

...They're like chocolate cakes, like cigarettes. I know they're bad for me but I just can't leave them alone.... --- Buses and Trains, Bachelor Girl … [Read more...]

Protected: Give Me a Hand

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Protected: Asian Guys and their Dinky-Doodle-Doo’s

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