A Break-up Letter


I never expected I'd be writing you this letter. We've had six years of wonderful memories but I'm afraid it had come to the point where you started to Read more

The New Yoshke.com


New look. New attitude. New experiences. Honestly, I had been neglecting this blog the past few weeks because of my awfully hectic schedule. Work had been unforgiving on weekdays and Read more

Sometimes We Burn to Live


Whenever I meet people for the first time, it always happens. When they start their sentence with "I hope you don't mind me asking but," I know they are going Read more

Fireworks, Hormones, and this Blog Post


You remember last week when I told you I found it difficult to blog since I met you? Since we became a couple officially, I have not had enough Read more

Do They Read Blogs in Heaven?


Whenever I say that the earliest memory I have is the accident wherein I had my left arm somewhat toasted, I lie. My earliest memory is, in fact, months Read more

Unusual Breakfast


Here we are again. In the usual corner. Usual table. Usual diner. Usual time. And most probably, usual meal. I'm getting tired of this really. Everything's a routine. And Read more

Top 10 National Stereotypes


Heaven is where the cooks are French, the police are British, the mechanics are German, the lovers are Italian and everything is organized by the Swiss. Hell is where the Read more

Why Nursery Rhymes Are So Violent


A few months ago, I was teaching my 4-year old nephew some nursery rhymes with a DVD. After a lot of singing, he slowly digested the story that the Read more

Top 10 Worst Things to Say During Sex


Sex is the art of love. It must be done in the most enjoyable and most satisfying manner. This act of love of two naked individuals reminds us that Read more

The Promil Kid Drops the Bomb


Of all the living things created by God, I love my nephew the most. I call him the Promil Kid. He’s the cutest thing. I’ve always written about him Read more

Rants

The Most Annoying People on Earth

Posted on by Yoshke in Rants |

Status: Annoyed and starved.
Music:
Shut up – Black Eyed Peas

Next to the people who just can’t shut their freakin’ mouth up while watching a movie in a theatre and the people who just keep on feeding you spoilers the day before your favourite TV show’s final episode’s broadcast, the people you are with in an internet cafe, those who are playing PC games who just keep on SHOUTING curse words at each other and at the game, are the most annoying people in the world.

Why do they have to shout for heaven’s sakes? One, they’re sitting beside each other! Second, no matter how loud they curse the computer, it won’t react! They just look stupid. How could they be so insensitive to people like me, who has been focusing on editing HTML stuff for this website?

And what is taking my DSL subscriber so long to install an internet connection at my place?

I’m outta here… before I could even shout and tell them to shut up. Arseholes.

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So Much for Gratitude

Posted on by Yoshke in Career, Rants |

Status: Infuriated.
Music:
Too Little Too Late – Jojo

It annoys me so much when the people you usually help suddenly accuse you of being the cause of all mishaps in the world.

Yesterday, despite being deprived of sleep and feeling a little sick, I decided to go to work because, although there’s not much to accomplish this week, I wanted to finish what I would be able to so I could just relax in the office for the rest of the week. Then came the time that I needed to print something out. Here’s the scenario: there’s only one printer in the office and it is directly connected to the secretary’s computer. There used to be a network that connects all the PCs to that printer but I don’t know what the fuck happened.

Here’s what happened: I appoached Mariah Carey (name changed to protect identity) and told her that I would be printing something out so I would have to use her computer for a few seconds. I was smiling, mind you. And then she blurted, “Bakit ba parati nyo na lang akong iniistorbo? Hindi mo ba nakikitang may ginagawa ako.” (It was a good thing she said that in Tagalog cos I can hardly stand her English.)

I was shocked, like seeing-Britney’s-pussy shocked. She’s crazy. First of all, the printer is connected to her PC and only to her PC. Second, what was she doing anyway? She was just chatting. Yes, chatting. She was just chatting with men from all over the world trying to find a boyfriend. What’s wrong with that, you ask? Well, get this. She’s married.

Being the warfreak that I am, I answered smilingly. This time, I was faking the smile. “Uhm, maybe because the printer is connected to your PC and not to anybody else’s.” But of course, here’s what I wanted to tell her, “Duh?

Ano ba kasing nangyari sa network printer sharing?

“I don’t know. It is you and Celine Dion (again, name changed) who are here outside.” (Because two other colleagues and I have our own room, separating us from the rest of the employees, and our PCs are not connected to any network, so we really have to use the other computers when printing.)

“E ikaw ang nakasira nun e!”

“Huh? Me? Why me?”

Di ba nasira yung connection nung may pinaayos sayo si Celine Dion sa computer nya? Di ba ginalaw-galaw mo yung PC niya kaya hindi na maka-connect ang PC niya sa printer na ‘to.”

That’s the point I lost my cool and released the magnificently angry gay me. “Excuse me! It was this network printer connection that she was asking me to fix! Meaning, if you still don’t get it, it was already broken before she even asked me to touch her PC. Nagpatulong sya saken kasi hindi sya makapagprint. I was trying to help, and it’s not like I volunteered. She asked me to help her.”

She was speechless. She must have realised I was really furious and that she was wrong. She then said, “Ikaw naman, nagalit kaagad. Para konting biro.

NEKNEK MO, LECHE KA. Biro ka dyan. I was waiting for a “sorry,” but it never came.

Sa susunod at may mangyare sa PC nyo, kahit maglupasay pa kayo sa sahig, hinding hindi ko na kayo tutulungan.” I walked out gracefully.

What made me really angry was the idea that whenever they experience problems with their PCs, they would always call me to fix it. And I would always try. But with the limited computer skills, I can only do so much. They call me when their PCs catch spywares, and to install something on their system, and to ask me the how-to’s. They always turn to me when it comes to technical stuff, and never have I heard a word of appreciation. As if it were really my job to help them with computer-related stuff.

Like, haller? The last time I checked there’s nothing about computer troubleshooting and maintenance in my job description.

And the last time I checked, I’m the Research and Development Head and she’s the secretary.

And oh, the last time I checked, I earn more than she does, more than she could imagine I do, I could even buy her a new husband (definitely an exaggeration), hehe.

Bitch.

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Tensions for Dinner

Posted on by Yoshke in Emo, Family, Friends, Gay, Rants |

Status: At work
Music: Come to Me – P. Diddy feat Nicole Scherzinger

And yes, I already bid goodbye to my German Pride layout and to my entire blogdrive account as well. From now on, I will be using wordpress and the domain name yoshke.com. But if you still want to see my old blog, all you have to do is click this.

# # #

Anyway, as days go by, it becomes more and more difficult for me to conceal my gender from my family. The more I lie, the more I feel guilty. It would be very easy not to let them know about my sexuality, but lately they are getting suspicious and starting to ask questions that are really tough to answer.

Last week, while having dinner, my mum asked, “Oy, Yoshke, when are you going to bring another girlfriend here?”

And I answered so sweetly, “How can I bring a girlfriend? I don’t have one.”

My sister butted in, “The last time you introduced a girlfriend to us was December last year. Isn’t it time for us to meet a new one.”

“But I don’t have a girlfriend,” I uttered. “I have a boyfriend, though.”

Everybody laughed. It was a joke to them. Although it’s not true that I have a boyfriend right now, I wanted to see what their reactions would be. And they just laughed because they thought I was just joshing them.

But last Wednesday night was a different case. Again, we were having dinner when my mother initiated a talk about having a relative in the workplace. My sister and I share the same opinion, “No way.” And then she demanded for a reason.

I told Mum, “I wouldn’t want to be conscious of everything I do… especially when I know that he/she would tell the entire family of the going-ons in my life.”

My sister got curious, “Such as…?”

“Nothing,” I answered.

“Like something illegal, or something gay or something like it?”

And then my mum got on her feet and asked me with an eyebrow raised, “Are you gay?”

“HELL, NO!” I manly denied.

Oh well, that’s life. The dinner ended with a smug look on my face.

# # #

Let me take this opportunity to actually bash some of my gay friends. It annoys me that I always have to explain about my sexuality. In fact I have already talked about it in detail here. And as I said before, I don’t believe in gender. Gender is just a social construct. It doesn’t matter to me if you’re gay or lesbian or bisexual or whatever you want to call the homosexual/bisexual lot. They are just labels anyway. For me, you’re either male or female. And I don’t care if you’re a man who likes women or other men. I just fuckin’ don’t care. To me, you’re still a man because you have a dick hanging between your legs.

And yes, sometimes I use the term bisexual when talking about myself not because I accept the idea but because I want other people to understand. I may like other men but I LIKE GIRLS, TOO. And if you don’t believe me, then don’t. As if your opinion matters to me anyway.

But for a gay person not to believe that there are people who like BOTH men and women, or those who find it so pretentious, it doesn’t make sense. To think that these are the people who have always wanted open-mindedness so that they be accepted. Why can’t you accept that not all people are like you. Not all people who like men cannot love women just as well. Why can’t you understand this? I don’t know if you just have a pea-sized brain or you have some comprehension problem or you are just plain stupid. Anyway, why am I explaining this now when I know that they will never ever understand.

For the last time, I will tell you this, I love both men and women. And if you don’t want to believe this just because you’re not like me, then what can I say? Try this, just get a dick and never take it out of your mouth if it’s the only way for you to shut up.

And yes, I’m talking to you Bebs and Rex.

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Where’s My Lawyer?

Posted on by Yoshke in Blurts, Music, Rants, Sports |

Don’t you just hate spams? Other than Bayern Munich and Chelsea newsletters (I signed up for these, so there’s no problem with these football clubs), and some Animax Channel  and JobStreet updates, I also receive e-mails from strangers that I don’t even know if they’re real humans or what. I’m sure you also experience finding foreign-language mails in your inbox, or letters from people asking for help, or notifications that you have won something but would seem impossible to claim! And tonight, guess what I have just received? It’s a mail from someone telling me this, just this and nothing else:

If you start taking Penis Enlarge Patch,
the world’s attention will be drawn to your dick.

What the hell?!?

# # #

This article is by Tarra Quismundo of the Philippine Daily Inquirer published on August 7.

Metropolitan Manila Development Authority (MMDA) Chair Bayani Fernando yesterday suggested that large private schools located along major roads in the metropolis turn their football fields into parking lots.

This, he pointed out, would help solve the perennial traffic problem in areas surrounding schools….

…Fernando reiterated that he was serious about asking school officials to turn their football fields into parking areas for students’ vehicles. He particularly cited the schools located near Ortigas Avenue in Mandaluyong City and on Katipunan Avenue in Quezon City — considered the busiest roads in Metro Manila during the school year….

I only have one word to say to Bayani Fernando… WHATEVER?!?

# # #

Bayern Munich visited Japan and played with some kids there. Waaaah! I had envy for dinner tonight.

# # #

FAVE MARIAH CAREY SONGS

“…If you should ever find someone new,
I know she better be good to you.
Cos if she doesn’t, then I’ll be there….”
I’ll Be There

“…And we’ll linger on
Time can’t erase a feeling this strong
No way you’re never gonna shake me
Ooh darling, ’cause you’ll always be my baby….”
Always Be My Baby

“*whistle*”
Bringing on the Heartbreak

“*whistle*, *whistle*, *whistle*”
Emotions

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Gen(d)erally Speaking

Posted on by Yoshke in Gay, Love, Personal Life, Rants |

More than a year ago, Icang asked me if I would ever be capable of loving another man. I was straight then. I answered Icang with this: I was never attracted to another man, I am not, but I am not saying I will never be. A few months after saying that I found myself falling for another guy. But it was only very recently that I came out. To be honest, no one in my family or in my hometown has a clue. And whenever I meet new friends, I don’t usually tell them about my sexuality until they ask me (which only happened once).

I am bisexual. And as Ma’am Almond Aguila, our Ethics professor back in college, said: it is difficult enough to understand “gay” people, and it’s even harder to understand “bisexuals.” I am aware of that little difficulty because before becoming like this, I also had the same sentiments. But if you are thinking that it is difficult to understand bisexuals, mind you, it’s even more difficult being one.

For example, from the very moment I admitted to my friends that I’m bisexual, they never ever considered me as a species capable of loving a woman again. They were blinded by the fact that now, I like guys, too. Although that is very true, that’s all they see now. They forgot that I also find Nicole of Pussycat Dolls sexy, or that I am obsessed with Nicole Kidman, and that I once said that I wanted to fuck Keira Knightley. Hell, they even forgot that I had girlfriends. All they know now is that I like Steven Gerrard and Andriy Shevchenko. And never did they ask why I like them. It’s not because they look good (but hell, they do), but because they’re great football players. Although I admit that CNN‘s Don Riddell‘s lips really take my breath away.

Another thing. And this time, I’m not only speaking for the bisexual guys but for the gay guys as well. We may (also) like men but it doesn’t mean we want to become women! I mean, come on, you know me. I’m the most chauvinistic, anti-feministic friend you (will ever) have! I love men AND I love being one. I love being a man. Never had the thought of wearing skirts or panties entered my mind. It’s like the eeeewiest thing to occur to me.

All gay and bisexual guys are not capable of having serious romantic relationships because all they want and need is sex, sex, sex. THIS IS SOOO NOT TRUE. And this is, in most cases, the reason gay guys are very afraid to come out. They don’t want to be seen as pervs. I’m not saying that no one in our group is like that. What I’m trying to point out is that NOT EVERY GAY GUY in this happy, gay world is.

Maybe what I’m really trying to say here is this: I love regardless of sex or gender. Man or woman, I don’t care. Love knows no gender (or age or race).

Whatever. Basta. I’m happy.

# # #

Anyway, I was able to catch the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy hosts at Glorietta weeks ago. But I wasn’t able to take pics. Si Lei kasi, nagmamadali

.

# # #

Football update: Crespo left Chelsea for Inter Milan! Waaah! OK lang. Shevchenko, prove to me that you’re a better striker. Hmf! Go Chelsea!!!

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