Ladies and gentlemen, this is my 500th post! And to celebrate, allow me to be vain for a moment and feature my 10 favorite entries on this blog.

I’ve been blogging for over five years. I was so passionate about my first blog but a year later as I was backreading, it dawned on me that I was full of crap and so was my blog. All I posted was my immature ramblings so I decided to just kill the blog.

A few months later, I started another blog on Blogdrive. Although I couldn’t say it wasn’t immature, it was a teeny bit more sensible. The next year, I moved to Wordpress and purchased yoshke.com domain name. That’s when I took blogging seriously.

This blog is called The Mind, Times, and Life of Yoshke Dimen because I want this to reflect my handwritten journal, which i still keep. (My handwritten journal has more detailed, more scandalous, more personal entries. LOL. I’d be dead if somebody stole it.) So why the title?

“Mind” because this blog documents what’s on my mind, what I think about. I write about what’s going on in my head from my European cable provider to Pinoy Big Brother to Oli Pettigrew to traveling the world to lawn tennis.

“Times” because decades from now, when I look back to this era, this blog should reflect the environment I am in and what’s going on in the world. I’d love to revisit the blockbuster movies of this time, the hit TV shows, the political climate, and even global warming.

“Life” because this is still my personal blog and it should chronicle what I do and feel and how I live my life. That when I became famous, there’s a convenient resource for researchers and biographers to poke into my past. Haha. Kidding.

Enough intro, here are the upper 2% of Yoshke.com posts that I really enjoyed writing.

10. MY TOP 50 ALL-TIME FAVORITE FILMS

I never take writing movie reviews seriously. Being a Film graduate and having directed and written a few films, I thought writing movie reviews would make my life too film-saturated. Thus, I only write random thoughts about the flicks I see. Compiling my top 50 most well-loved movies of all time was an enjoyable ride. It was a great experience looking back and ranking all the films I have seen and picking the 50 that I’d watch over and over again.

Another movie entry I had a damn good time writing was a rundown of all the Batman movies. This post is special because I’m a huge Batman fan and to prepare for this entry, I had to see all Batman films again — from Tim Burton to Christopher Nolan, from Michael Keaton to Christian Bale, from Joker to Poison Ivy back to Joker.

Some of the movies I enjoyed writing a short review of include Doubt (2008), the Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008), and The Reader (2008).

9. TOP 10 SIGNS THAT YOUR BOYFRIEND IS GAY

This post gave this blog its first traffic boost. I used to not care about traffic; I just wanted to write, just write. But this post made me realize it actually felt good that something I write get to be read by people around the globe and it’s nice to interact with those who comment.

This list was originally published in December 2006 but I gave it a makeover and reposted it in April 2008.

Other lists I had a great time writing are the most awful things to say during sex, the top ways to break-up with your partner, the places to find your true love. More lists here.

(more…)

One of the first books I received was a children’s bible. It was small, red, and a little too thin for a bible.

Of course, as a kid the first thing I did upon receiving it was scan it and see the pictures. On every page was an image and a short story. My uber-Catholic parents and siblings used to read me biblical stories to sleep. (Oh yes, I grew up in a so very Catholic environment and look how I turned out, haha, agnostic, gay and reckless). Thus, I recognized some of those stories instantly — Adam and Eve, Cain and Abel, Noah, Abraham, Jacob — so I didn’t bother reading them.

What caught my attention was the story after Jacob’s. There was a picture of a kid being pulled up a well, and in the background were several men and a caravan. I read it and fell in love with it right away. It was the first story I read on my own. The story — Joseph, the Dreamer.

I admire Joseph. I’m in love with him. He is kind. He is vengeful. He is human. And in my head, he’s hot.

Also, “dreams” fascinate me the way porn does. Not that I like porn. Yeah, I do, who doesn’t? But I meant, how it fascinates other people. Yeah, dreams fascinate me the way porn fascinates other people. Haha. Nagmalinis daw.

Anyway, I’ve been dreaming a lot recently. And I sorta remember those dreams even up to now. So I’m reminded of Joseph once again. But unlike Joseph, I’m not really good at interpreting dreams. Anyone here who’d like to play Joseph and try to figure out what my dreams mean?

If you’re right, I’ll give you.. err… nothing. If you’re right, good for you.

Here are the dreams:

MUTE USHERS AND A BROKEN CELLPHONE

There was a blogger event at Star Mall parking lot. I’m assuming it was Star Mall because I could see an overpass leading to SM Megamall from where I was seated. One of the ushers was a college friend. For this narrative’s sake, let’s call him Joseph. Well, so Joseph was an usher but ushers were not allowed to talk. He was wearing this weird usher uniform which resembled a London guard. He approached me and he said that I won a cellphone. I was confused because I didn’t even join any contest or raffle. Without talking, he was able to let me know that he was not allowed to talk any more. So he walked me to the overpass. Once there, the organizers gave me a high-end phone but it had a girl-ish decoration, something like flower stickers. Worse, it didn’t have a battery. I asked why the phone was like that but no one would talk. So I left and sat again. And then, I woke up.

(more…)

I remember this one time I was having a few rounds of beer with my friends Jon and Marck somewhere in Metrowalk when the conversation suddenly made a sharp curve onto “Jologs Avenue.” I was shocked but delighted to learn that they had a jologs side, too. And it made me wonder if my friend Icang was right when she said, “we all have the Jologs factor.”

I am a hodgepodge.

My personality is a mixture of a wide variety of traits and tastes. For example, my taste in music. I appreciate pretty much anything. As in anything. One time, you see me listening to Vanessa Mae; the next minute I’m humming Kylie Minogie’s Locomotion or Nelly Furtado’s Say It Right. Give it an hour, I’m belting out a Basil Valdez ballad or an Aegis classic. Haha.

When it comes to food, I enjoy gourmet food. But if you drag me to the nearest fishball stall, I’ll gorge on street foods nang walang patumangga.

My interests range from a bit highbrow to downright jologs! And I’m proud of it. Haha. And I admire those people who are not ashamed to free their jologs alter-ego every once in a while.

• One of my friends, Aila, may be one of the most conio-looking Atenean in the world. She has this conio aura. But heck, she used to watch “Ang Pangarap Kong Jackpot.”
• Another buddy, Marck, translates English songs to Tagalog (and vice versa) whenever he’s bored, which is like every day of his life.
• Robin just can’t get over the glory days of the Juday-Wowie loveteam!
• RJ will introduce your jaws to the floor once he enumerates his crushes — Jean Saburit, Jennifer Mendoza, Shirley Fuentes, Bunny Paras, Tina Paner!

And me, well, I have more than my share. It’s innate. In fact, everything I touch magically becomes jolog-ish. Haha. Here are some of my J-Facts (jologs factors).

(more…)

What’s wrong with my friends?

They’ve been so very imaginative lately; they’re accusing me of things. Things that are, well, pretty amusing. Very recently, they, albeit separately, came up with an interesting theory. More like a guess, actually.

ROBIN

While malling. A few months ago.

Robin: I kinda miss the “bossy” you.
Yoshke: Hey, I was never bossy.
Robin: You were. You are. It’s just today that you seem to be not that.
Yoshke: Must be the weather.
Robin: What about the weather?
Yoshke: Humid. Makes me feel sleepy.
Robin: I bet you’re also bossy in bed.
Yoshke: OMG. If I didn’t know you better, I’d think you were hitting on me.
Robin: Ass. It was a neutral question! I just wanna know if you boss your partner around…
Yoshke: Hmmm. So you really wanna know? Haha.
Robin: That’s not what I meant, Dimen.
Yoshke: Then, you’ll never know.
Robin: But really, something tells me you’re into S&M (sadomasochism, sadism and masochism, slave and master).
Yoshke: (bonggang bonggang LOL)
Robin: So, are you?
Yoshke: You’ll never know.

JT

After watching the hilarious 3D animation “Igor” (starring my fave John Cusack)

You see, most hunchbacked assistants to evil scientists in many celebrated literary and film works (Dracula, Frankenstein, etc) are named Igor.

The movie Igor is sooo entertaining that even after seeing it, JT, Klara, Dohna, Chino and I couldn’t shake it off. When I was finally home, I texted JT.

Yoshke: Igor, you home na?
JT: Yes, master. I’ll pull the switch.
Yoshke: Ah JT, stop impersonating Igor. It’s turning me on. JOKE LANG.
JT: Really? Joke daw.
Yoshke: Haha. Bahala ka. You really think I’m into S&M?
JT: Pwede. So what role do you play?
Yoshke: I won’t answer that question.
JT: You don’t have to. I think I know, Mr. Power.
Yoshke: Hahaha. I won’t confirm or deny anything.

(more…)

Status: My room aircon is busted. Waaah. Ang init.
Music: Best Days – Graham Colton

“Hahada laang.”

This was what I told my new housemates in UP Diliman when they asked me where I was going. They laughed their guts out. I didn’t know why. But I laughed with them. Pretended I was getting the joke I didn’t even realise I cracked.

I added, “Bakit? Gusto nyo sumama?”

And they laughed even harder. Way harder. I was a college freshman. And I was straight then. This was why I made a sort of “joker” impression on my housemates even though most of the time, I was as serious as hell. And the only humour I knew was sarcastic.

“Hada” in Batangas, or at least in Lemery, means “to take a walk.” Hihikap. Gagala. Maglalakad-lakad. It took me almost two years to finally figure out that “hada,” in gay lingo, actually means to go out and look for potential sexcapades. I didn’t know.

When I tell people I’m a Batangueno, they are usually shocked. Their first reaction is always to ask me “How come you don’t have the accent?” I never had that accent. I can fake it but I never had it. We don’t have it in the family. But fellow Batanguenos and even those who hailed from other Southern Tagalog provinces easily trace my Batangan roots when I start talking. I may not have the accent, but my diction — ah, my diction — is as Batangan as it can get.

(more…)

Last week at the apartment…

Glenn: Do you have a copy of the first three seasons of House?
Yoshke: The first two are with Dohna. You’re addicted, aren’t ye?
Glenn: Yeah. (He paused a bit and then continued talking.) Every time I see Dr. House, I am reminded of you. No offence meant.
Yoshke: None taken. Haha. May I know why?
Glenn: You’re both sarcastic.
Yoshke: Damn, I thought you’d say we’re both brilliant. Hahaha.

Laughter. Silence.

Yoshke: But, you know, it takes wit to be sarcastic. So I’ll take that. Haha.

…

Last year in Robin’s car, on the way to Tagaytay.

Robin: You should make a career out of that.
Yoshke: Out of what?
Robin: Humiliating people.
Yoshke: I don’t humiliate people!
Robin: You just told me that all it would take was just one queer push and I would turn gay instantly.
Yoshke: But I always tell you that.
Robin: Not over dinner. In front of my entire family.
Yoshke: Aright, forgive my occasional lack of tact.
Robin: You meant to say it. You enjoy humiliating me.
Yoshke: Well, it only matters if you think I’m right. And I’m not. (pause) Right?
Robin: Of course not. I can’t believe we’re talking about this.
Yoshke: Er, aright, I’m sorry.
Robin: Don’t say sorry unless you mean it.
Yoshke: I mean it.
Robin: Friendly tip: don’t make a career out of this.
Yoshke: Out of what?
Robin: Acting sincere. You suck at it.

(more…)

“I think you’re 80% straight.”

I was startled by these ridiculous words from my friend Chemae. We were walking back to the cottage at a resort in my hometown in Batangas. The conversation went like this:

Yoshke: Well, that remaining 20% makes me totally gay. 1% can make someone gay, you know.
Chemae: I think in time, you’ll go straight again.
Yoshke: You think so? I doubt that.
Chemae: Aila (our common friend) warned me about you.
Yoshke: Warned you about me?
Chemae: She thinks you’re just pretending to be gay when you are really straight.

Wahahaha. That was officially the most preposterous accusation thrown at me since Frances suspected that I was in love with Astrid or since Ken told me that I only claimed I was gay so I could finally break it off with her sister (who was my girlfriend at the time). Hahaha. I’ve always been very touchy with girls and most of them don’t mind because hey, I’m damn gay. But I guess Aila is one heck of a lady to convince.

Yoshke: Even after Daniel (not his real name; an ex-officemate and ex-boyfriend)? She didn’t buy the whole Daniel-Yoshke thing?
Chemae: Apparently not.

It’s funny. I don’t know how many people still think I’m straight when I see myself (and I know Tonet agrees) that I am already as gay as I can be. Either they’re right or they’re blind. Haha.

Aila and Chemae aren’t the only ones. In fact, I also had a similar conversation with my ex-roomie Ethan (not his real name). I’ve always considered Ethan my older brother. I call him Kuya. He’s genuinely straight like the rest of my bestfriends. And he has this “Republican” worldview going on in his head.

Ethan: When will you shape up?
Yoshke: Excuse me?
Ethan: That gay thing. I know it’s just a phase.
Yoshke: I’m telling you this is sooo NOT just a phase.
Ethan: It’s just a phase. Sooner or later you’ll come to your senses and realise everything’s just silly. And then you’ll regret it. And repent. You know, for your soul.
Yoshke: What are you? A priest? And what makes you so sure?
Ethan: Because I know you! This might just be one of your experiments. And even after turning gay, your dreams didn’t change. You still want to have children of your own.
Yoshke: People change, Kuya.
Ethan: No. They just try new things but they don’t change.
Yoshke: A long time ago you said you would never have a gay friend. Here you are sharing a room with one.
Ethan: That’s because I’d known you even before you became like that. And I like you. And to me you haven’t changed.
Yoshke: I have.

I told Glenn (a college friend) about these conversations one night.

Yoshke: Aila, Chemae and my ex-roomie think this is just a phase and I’ll come around. Silly, right?
Glenn: No. I agree with them.

Oh well. What is it with straight people that they’re so hard to convince sometimes?

I’m telling you. This is not just a phase. And even if it were, it had better be a long one because I friggin’ enjoy every minute of it.
image courtesy of cartoonstock.com

I hate it when my friends talk about Bioman. Why? Because I can’t relate. I can’t remember even a single moment I watched Bioman. I don’t know what their powers were and what they could do. I don’t know its theme song, either. I remember Shaider, Ultraman, Koseidon, He-Man, She-Ra, Conan the Barbarian, Maskman, and Power Rangers. But Bioman? Nah. Na-uh. Nadah. Not really.

Funny because my earliest childhood memory was when I was 3 years old. (I’m 22; born 1986.) I remember a lot. As in A LOT. There is a myriad of vivid childhood images that I always play in my head. Sadly, none of those images are Bioman’s. Maybe because I didn’t watch it at all. You see, I’ve always been choosy. Haha.

Another kiddie TV classic that I just can’t remember watching? Batibot. Seriously. I don’t have any emotional connection to the show, Pong Pagong, Kuya Bodjie or Ate whoever-she-was. Every time I try to rummage through my thoughts and search for a bit of any Batibot-related memory, what I always find is ATBP (Awit, Titik, Bilang na Pambata) — Trisha, Rex, Carlo, Tito Miguel (Piolo Pascual), and that ridiculous Kapitan Bilang. No Batibot.

You might be thinking that I missed a great deal of my childhood and how great a loser I was when I was a kid for not watching these programmes. But I think I had a childhood that many would envy. It’s just that TV wasn’t really that fun for me that time. Fun was outdoors. You see, I was a country boy. Haha. Lumaki ako sa lalawigan ng magigiting (Batangas). Less than a mile north of our house are woods and hills; south, a vast field and the beach. TV wasn’t that fun. Fun were the following:

• flying/running kites
• wandering around and playing hide-and-seek in the forest
• climbing trees
• stealing fruits from some farmer’s orchard
• shooting birds with a slingshot (I was cruel as a kid)
• hunting spiders for fights on stick
• catching fireflies and grasshoppers
• catching salagubang (June beetle), cutting its legs one by one, and letting it fly while tied to my wrist

Those were my definition of fun even after I was introduced to Sarah, Cedie, Remi, Julio, Julia, Mary, Romeo, another Remi, Tom, Huck, Cinderella, and the rest of them losers. And then, the magnificent world of violent anime. Haha. Starting with Sailormoon. (Er, okay, violent gay anime. Haha.) Zenki, B’t X and Thunder Jet soon followed. And then, the wacky Mojacko and Doraemon.

And oh, I remember being addicted to Superbook and Flying House. Thanks to my Catholic upbringing.

And yeah, right now I just miss my childhood.

Status: Reaching.
Music: Entwined – Jason Reeves

REEVED UP
I am currently addicted to Jason Reeves and his music. Thanks to Berg. I especially liked “Reaching” and “Someone Somewhere.” Cool mixture of folk, acoustic and alternative. He’s absolutely awesome. And don’t just take my word for it, see for yourself and listen well.

SOMEBODY BUY ME THIS ALBUM!!! Come on. Give me a copy of this and I’ll love you forever!

…

ALMOST ROMANTIC
As the hot doctor advised me, I’ve been on 1000 mg of pure vitamin C per day for more than a month now because my body’s relationship with infections and diseases is almost romantic. The funny thing is, I still catch a cold every now and then. (Told ya, it’s almost romantic.) Damn. Sometimes I feel like infections and my body are ganging up on me. (Yeah, like in college, haha.)

…

QUITTING NICOTINE
Since my last tonsilitis, I haven’t touched a cigarette. Er, maybe once. Aright, fine, twice. Twice. Believe me, only twice. Hey, that’s good enough! It’s been two months and I have smoked only two sticks. Er, maybe more.

… (more…)