A Break-up Letter


I never expected I'd be writing you this letter. We've had six years of wonderful memories but I'm afraid it had come to the Read more

Welcome to the New Yoshke.com


New look. New attitude. New experiences. Honestly, I had been neglecting this blog the past few weeks because of my awfully hectic schedule. Work had Read more

Sometimes We Burn to Live


Whenever I meet people for the first time, it always happens. When they start their sentence with "I hope you don't mind me asking but," Read more

Judging By the Cover


Our office is just a stone's throw from where I live. In fact, all I have to do is cross EDSA and voila, hello Read more

Fireworks, Hormones, and this Blog Post


You remember last week when I told you I found it difficult to blog since I met you? Since we became a couple officially, Read more

Do They Read Blogs in Heaven?


Whenever I say that the earliest memory I have is the accident wherein I had my left arm somewhat toasted, I lie. My earliest Read more

Unusual Breakfast


Here we are again. In the usual corner. Usual table. Usual diner. Usual time. And most probably, usual meal. I'm getting tired of this Read more

Top 10 National Stereotypes


Heaven is where the cooks are French, the police are British, the mechanics are German, the lovers are Italian and everything is organized by Read more

EDSA


It could have been a horrible Saturday. I was in the passenger seat. It was a bit raining. Normally, EDSA gets on my nerves. That's why Read more

Why Nursery Rhymes Are So Violent


A few months ago, I was teaching my 4-year old nephew some nursery rhymes with a DVD. After a lot of singing, he slowly Read more

Top 10 Worst Things to Say During Sex


Sex is the art of love. It must be done in the most enjoyable and most satisfying manner. This act of love of two Read more

The Promil Kid Drops the Bomb


Of all the living things created by God, I love my nephew the most. I call him the Promil Kid. He’s the cutest thing. Read more

••••••

A Break-up Letter

Posted on September 25, 2011 by Yoshke in Health, Humor, Whatnots |

I never expected I’d be writing you this letter. We’ve had six years of wonderful memories but I’m afraid it had come to the point where you started to break my heart. I should’ve seen it coming since I’ve been finding it hard to breathe lately. It’s time to end the pain that I’m feeling and I just have to say goodbye.

I’ve known you since I was a kid but it was only before my college graduation that we had a real relationship. At first, it was difficult for me to get along with you considering the nasty things some people say about you. They said you would hurt me, and you did. They said, if I continued spending time with you, it would be so hard to let go. It was.

True, you are all the bad things they were saying. Still, I accepted you. I let you get to me deep within. You’re smokin’ hot. I loved the feeling of your body in my mouth. I loved it when my lips touched your butt. You taste like euphoria. You reek of obsession.

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Chestit Rojden Den, Plamen!

Posted on September 19, 2011 by Yoshke in Emo, Friends, Personal Life |

“What’s in Bulgaria that is well worth a visit?” I asked a friend when he suggested that I visit Bulgaria after telling him that my ultimate dream was to tour Europe.

For the longest time, Bulgaria had no significance in my life. Back then this East European state was just another country to me. I knew that its capital is Sofia. I could correctly identify it on the map. But that was all. When I said I wanted to visit Europe, I meant Germany, France, Britain, Spain, Italy. Not Bulgaria.

But something happened.

Six years ago, I hit rock bottom. Weeks before my college graduation, family problems and friendship issues had all caved in on me and I did not intend to get out of the rubbles. We’ve been to that place, the rock bottom. This hard, dark place might look and feel different to each of us but our reaction is always the same regardless — seek help. Hitting record lows emotionally is bad enough. But it is not “being there” per se that kills; it is the realization that no friend is there to lend a hand.

Every morning, waking up was such a chore. At night, though I was more alive, I felt like a zombie. It was during this time when I always found myself alone in more ways than one. I would sit there, try to blog something, and log into my web accounts. I would just stare at my friends list, wonder which of them would understand me, and find no one. That was the point when I just cried for help. Luckily for me, someone answered.

In 2006, I met someone online by accident. Online friends were not new to me. As a blogger, I develop friendships with other bloggers even before I meet them. But this online friend was not a blogger and he was not from here. At the time, he lived at a provincial town in a humble country in Europe. I don’t remember how we got virtually close but there was something about him that I found welcoming and comfortable. He spoke good English. He was very goodlooking. He made me laugh every time we talked. Although he lived on the other side of the planet, he was my constant companion.

I was not the kind of person who would find refuge in a stranger. But I needed someone to talk to — no matter how physically distant, no matter how virtual. Many times I had considered myself pathetic or desperate for having a friend that I had not even met personally. But eventually I realized there was nothing wrong with being able to share bits of my life with him. After all, I needed to get up and get out of that dark place.

Single-handedly, he pulled me out of it.

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Bring Back the ’90s!

Posted on September 14, 2011 by Yoshke in Celebrities, Entertainment, Music, TV |

Pageant Play Pretend

It’s that time of the year again when the fleeting euphoria brought about by the Miss Universe pageant sweeps the nation. I’m not a big fan of beauty pageants but when I woke up this morning, the first thought that popped up in my head was: Miss Universe telecast, live, today. Thanks to the constant TV reminders the night before.

Still, I resisted the temptation to turn the TV on, went on with my morning rituals, and headed straight to work. When I opened my laptop, Miss Universe updates flooded my News Feed — to my delight. When Miss Philippines Shamcey Supsup was announced 3rd Runner-up, I felt a little bit disappointed that she didn’t get the crown but I was very proud of her. It was a tricky question but she was able to give a sincere and strong answer. Congrats, Shamcey!

And then, suddenly, I was reminded of the 1994 Miss Universe pageant, which the Philippines hosted. I was very young then. And I remember this junk food sold at sari-sari stores near our school at the time. Each pack came with a free Miss Universe sticker with a photo of a candidate and the name of the country she was representing.

I’m not sure whether it was an indication that I’d turn out to be gay later on but I collected as many as I could. And then I would arrange the stickers and randomly select the Top 10. And then Top 5. And then pick the 4th Runner-Up to the Miss Universe. Repeat from the top.

Wahahahaha.

Sometimes, whenever I wonder why I’m gay I can’t help but blame Charlene Gonzales. And Sushmita Sen. And Dayanara Torres, who turned over the crown that year.

I had never seen Miss Universe since then. Well, until Theresa Licaros competed a few years back. Not again after that.

Showbiz Then

Last Sunday, Aiko Melendez and Jomari Yllana made a guest appearance at Gandang Gabi Vice. I was expecting to be entertained but I wasn’t expecting to be entertained like that. I never thought Aiko Melendez and Jomari Yllana would make me feel something many young stars of today fail to bring — kilig. 

Watch their interview here:

Seeing Aiko and Jomari together, seated next to each other brought back so many childhood memories. Aiko Melendez. Gelli De Belen, and Prinsesa ng Brownout. Carmina Villaroel. Vina Morales. Manilyn Reynes. Ruffa Gutierrez. MMFF Scandal. I have previously announced my undying love for Donna Cruz on a separate post.

Jomari Yllana. Mark Anthony Fernandez. Eric Fructuoso. Gwapings. Palibhasa Lalake. Cynthia Patag. Mark Anthony, Claudine Barretto and the Tweety tattoo. Rico Yan. Gimik. Judy Ann Santos. Juday-Jolina rivalry. TGIS.

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Welcome to the New Yoshke.com

Posted on August 29, 2011 by Yoshke in Blurts, Whatnots |

New look. New attitude. New experiences.

Honestly, I had been neglecting this blog the past few weeks because of my awfully hectic schedule. Work had been unforgiving on weekdays and I had been traveling on weekends. There had been moments when I felt like I lost the drive to blog. I needed a new inspiration.

The “inspiration” was not really an inspiration but a wake-up call. It came in the form of a global hacking incident. My blog had been affected and unavailable over the weekend, along with many other blogs.  I realized I shouldn’t take this blog for granted for this contains the good 6 years of my life. After fixing it, I decided to give it a new look and promised myself to blog more frequently, especially the many remarkable experiences, realizations, and encounters I’ve had the past few weeks.

If you’re new to this blog, allow me to introduce this online journal. Yoshke.com is a personal blog, chronicling the simple, ordinary joys in life but somehow get me moved or entertained. Like I said on my About page, every person has a story. Every place brings back a memory. Every object triggers an emotion or a thought. What I blog about are these ordinary, average, little things, people and events in my life.

I’m a nobody. Nothing about me is extraordinary. All I can do is share some words about the little things, little happenings, little lives around me. But I have always believed that the universe is fueled by things common and little. And I hope that my personal experiences and thoughts would somehow touch, move, or inspire others the way they inspired me to blog. Even just a single person. Even just a little.

Read more about this blog here. Viewed 5327 times by 1654 visitors this month

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She Who Shines

Posted on August 16, 2011 by Yoshke in Conversations, Emo, Friends, Personal Life |

She came walking slowly towards me, sat beside me and introduced herself, “Hi! I’m Astrid.” Her name means “star.”

“I’m Yoshke,” I replied. Reluctantly, I shook her hand. “Nice to meet you.” The whole thing was totally weird to me.

It was the moment when, I think, she and I truly became friends. I wouldn’t say we became inseparable since then but I missed her every time we were apart. From then on, we became distant companions. Although we lived miles away, I knew I could rely on her any damn time. She would text me whenever she was around and she would always invite me to an afternoon of enjoying street food. Or just a day of doing nothing at all.

She’s like that every time. She appears whenever she feels like it and I can always expect her to constantly flicker in and out of my world. She’s like a friend from an alternate universe. She’s a flicker of joy. Every moment with her is short, is sweet, is a recurring dream, something I always look forward to and enjoy when it finally comes. She’s the twinkle every dreamer, who has been endlessly watching a certain star, waits patiently for.

She and I seldom get in touch but I always make a point she’s one of the first to know whenever I experience a sudden surge of emotions — when I’m down, when I’m extremely happy. And even when nothing happens, I send her a random, sometimes almost empty, message just to let her know a dreamer is thinking of a star.

One time in Puerto Princesa City, on the way to Crocodile Park, we were in a trike and sat silently next to each other. “I love this,” she uttered. “Do you remember this one scene in Pulp Fiction?”

“Which scene?” I asked, intrigued.

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Shy Guy and I: The Thought

Posted on August 7, 2011 by Yoshke in Conversations, Humor, Love, Personal Life |

One romantic night, my hubby Shy Guy and I were lying in our bed. It was one of those nights when we would just drop everything we were doing and just enjoy the moment. No one was saying anything. Just exchanging glances and smiles. After a sweet long embrace and a gentle kiss, he looked at me and found me staring back at him.

“Anong nasa isip mo?” he asked.

I smiled, touched his face and whispered, “Antaba mo na!” Viewed 6069 times by 1785 visitors this month

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The Promil Kid and His Bull Story

Posted on July 28, 2011 by Yoshke in Family, Videos |

Here’s a video of the Promil Kid, my nephew, narrating what he had just seen on Animal Planet. He found the show compelling and entertaining enough that he was so excited to share with me the whole story. It was about a bull and hmmm… Actually, that’s all I understood. All I heard was bull, bull, bull! I can only take so much bulls in a conversation.

Somebody transcribe this thing and tell me what actually happened to the bull! Wahaha

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What’s Up, Doc? Really, What’s Up?

Posted on July 13, 2011 by Yoshke in Conversations, Health, Rants |

This happened more than two years ago. But it’s still pretty clear in my head.

June 2009. It was the time when I was constantly having serious digestion problems. Sometimes, my digestive system would not do its job dissolving food while other times, it would just overdo it. I finally had enough so I decided to see a doctor.

Image courtesy of www.doctortipster.com

 

Together with my hubby Shy Guy, I went to a hospital near my office. (Clue: it’s somewhere in Mandaluyong.) We approached the reception desk and said what we were there for. The woman at the desk then told us to proceed to a clinic upstairs. We fell in line and waited a full hour for our turn. We then filled out some forms coz it was my first time at that hospital. Everything was going well until the actual consultation.

Shy Guy chose to just wait for me outside while the doctor and I talked. Inside the room, the doctor asked me to describe what I had been feeling and how long it had been going on. I did and he explained to me what could have been happening in my body. He said I probably had “Irritable Bowel Syndrome.” It was a funny name for a disease, I thought. (It’s a real disorder, though.) He added that it could have been caused by my diet and too much stress. It actually made sense because back then, I usually felt like hitting the restroom whenever I was stressed out.

After giving me a prescription, the doctor then asked about my lifestyle. I answered, “well, I sleep at around 1am and wake up at 7.”

Doctor: Mahilig ka bang uminom?
Yoshke: Years ago but not recently. It’s under control.
Doctor: How much do you drink and how frequent?
Yoshke: Hmmm. I only drink, like, once a month. 5-8 bottles of beer? And some cocktails?
Doctor: Naninigarilyo ka?
Yoshke: Yes.
Doctor: How many packs a day?
Yoshke: 4-10 STICKS a day.
Doctor: You know what, cigarettes are instruments of THE DEVIL!!!

And then he lost it.

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The Promil Kid’s Love-Hate Affair with iPod

Posted on June 24, 2011 by Yoshke in Family, Humor |

One of the things my nephew, the Promil Kid, loved about me was that I had an iPod Touch. At the time, I would always let him play with it since I have an iPhone and we would only meet every month anyway so I figured, “What the hell? Here, play, go.”

In fact, he spent more time with the iPod than me. Or even when we were together, he was still playing Angry Birds or Tap Tap Ants or Drop Chicken or whatever new game I had. So it wasn’t a surprise that whenever I would come home (every month), the first thing he would say to me was “Tito, iPod.” He probably loved it more than me. Haha.

Boy-Meets-iPod Stage

“I SLASHED THE HELL OUT OF THE WATERMELON!!!”

That was what I heard my nephew shouted after trying to play Fruit Ninja on my iPod Touch for the first time.

Yoshke: Hey, you can’t say that word!
Promil Kid: Watermelon? Dada says it all the time.
Yoshke: Not that, “hell!”
Promil Kid: Why not?
Yoshke: It’s a grown-up word.
Promil Kid: Hell, hell, hell, hell…
Yoshke: That’s bad. If you say that again, you’ll go where bad boys are sent to.
Promil Kid: Where?
Yoshke: That place that is not heaven.
Promil Kid: Where is that?
Yoshke: Alright. To HELL!!!
Promil Kid: Whatever.
Yoshke: Where did you learn that word anyway?
Promil Kid: Tito, duh? You say that all the time.

And then he started mimicking how I act when playing and losing — eyes squinted, brows met, fist formed, and mumbling “What the hell?!”

The Will-Do-Anything-For-Love Stage

A repost. I was in my room watching National Geographic when the Promil Kid entered.

Promil Kid: Tito, can I watch “Monsters vs Aliens” on your iPod?
Yoshke: Uhm, no.
Promil Kid: Please?
Yoshke: Hmmm, last night, you said you love your mommy and daddy and Nanay (my mom, his grandma) more than me. And now you want to borrow my iPod? No.
Promil Kid: I didn’t say that!
Yoshke: Yes, you did. You said I’m your fourth most-loved.
Promil Kid: I said third. Mommy then Dad then you.
Yoshke: Sorry, not good enough.
Promil Kid: Second! Mommy then Tito!
Yoshke: Shut up, I’m watching TV.
Promil Kid: FIRST! FIRST! I love Tito the most then Mommy then Dad then Nanay!
Yoshke: That’s what I’m talking about. Yay!

So I gave him my iPod and let him watch the movie in one corner of the room. He had earphones on. Suddenly…

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The Natural Phenomenon of Madness

Posted on June 19, 2011 by Yoshke in Friends, Movies |

I remember back in college I was a Cinemalaya Independent Film Festival volunteer. I was part of the group of volunteers who organized the many events and gatherings leading to the launch of the film fest as an usher, editor, and more. After graduation, I had been completely out of the film loop as I turned into a corporate slave. Sad to say that the last time I saw a Cinemalaya film was when I was still a volunteer. I had not seen that many independent films since then. Shame on me, indeed.

I guess much of the reason I had not seen any indie film in a while was because I felt frustrated. After all, I loved filmmaking but it had been years since the last time I was a part of it.

This time is different, though. This year, I am going to see Cinemalaya films with a brand new attitude. I am ecstatic that many of my friends back in college are now part of Cinemalaya not as volunteers but as participants, as filmmakers. That makes Cinemalaya this year a lot more exciting for me.

One of the films participating in this year’s NETPAC is The Natural Phenomenon of Madness, directed by my Parmesan friend Charliebebs Gohetia, or simply Bebs. (Check out the reason why I call him Parmesan friend here.) And of course, I shall be watching his film FIRST. The Natural Phenomenon of Madness tells a story that is not just interesting but completely mind-blowing.

Two years after she was raped, a woman agrees to meet with her rapist in the beautiful ruins of Intramuros. As they have the same blood type, her rapist asks her to donate blood for his operation claiming this will lengthen his life and will give him ample time to seek redemption. The woman refuses to do so as she rediscovers she is still a victim of unrequited love towards her rapist.

Told in two separate perspectives, the story revolves around how the woman and man pick the pieces of their broken lives after the rape, meeting every so often at places that remind them of their past. They are confronted by the fact that they are both victims of each other: THE WOMAN struggles with loving no one but the man; THE MAN, struggles with his guilt knowing he can’t love the woman the way she wants him to.

If you’re going to watch Cinemalaya films, please support this film and put it on your list. Here’s the screening schedule of this film: July 21 CCP Little Theater 9pm & July 23 Greenbelt 3, Cinema 5 9pm

The Natural Phenomenon of Madness stars Jess Mendoza, Opaline Santos, Ces Aldaba, Regina Valenzuela, Patrick Esteban, Kimmy Buquia, Anthony Sarabia Torres, Xian Khou, Rjames Villaran. Directed by the one, the only (char) Charliebebs Gohetia!

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