A Break-up Letter


I never expected I'd be writing you this letter. We've had six years of wonderful memories but I'm afraid it had come to the Read more

Welcome to the New Yoshke.com


New look. New attitude. New experiences. Honestly, I had been neglecting this blog the past few weeks because of my awfully hectic schedule. Work had Read more

Sometimes We Burn to Live


Whenever I meet people for the first time, it always happens. When they start their sentence with "I hope you don't mind me asking but," Read more

Judging By the Cover


Our office is just a stone's throw from where I live. In fact, all I have to do is cross EDSA and voila, hello Read more

Fireworks, Hormones, and this Blog Post


You remember last week when I told you I found it difficult to blog since I met you? Since we became a couple officially, Read more

Do They Read Blogs in Heaven?


Whenever I say that the earliest memory I have is the accident wherein I had my left arm somewhat toasted, I lie. My earliest Read more

Unusual Breakfast


Here we are again. In the usual corner. Usual table. Usual diner. Usual time. And most probably, usual meal. I'm getting tired of this Read more

Top 10 National Stereotypes


Heaven is where the cooks are French, the police are British, the mechanics are German, the lovers are Italian and everything is organized by Read more

EDSA


It could have been a horrible Saturday. I was in the passenger seat. It was a bit raining. Normally, EDSA gets on my nerves. That's why Read more

Why Nursery Rhymes Are So Violent


A few months ago, I was teaching my 4-year old nephew some nursery rhymes with a DVD. After a lot of singing, he slowly Read more

Top 10 Worst Things to Say During Sex


Sex is the art of love. It must be done in the most enjoyable and most satisfying manner. This act of love of two Read more

The Promil Kid Drops the Bomb


Of all the living things created by God, I love my nephew the most. I call him the Promil Kid. He’s the cutest thing. Read more

Witty Graffiti*

Posted on by Yoshke in Humor, University |

Status: Horny… and kidding
Music: With You
- Chris Brown

I got this from a friend’s forwarded e-mail. This is a compilation of oh-so-witty graffiti that can be found all over the University of the Philippines-Diliman campus. It’s funny how these scribbles reflect the character of UP students in general.

Grabe, na-miss ko tuloy ang UP. Hahaaay. Enjoy.

PALMA HALL/AS:

AS chairs:

“push button to eject seatmate”
“push button to eject urself”
“push button to kill teacher.”

“push button to eject teacher”
….reply: “It’s jammed! We’re doomed!” Hahaha, nakita ko na ‘to.

AS chair :
“you know bobo? bobo is you!”

AS 1st floor CR:
“if you forget the past, then you porget the purious..”

AS 1st floor CR uli:
“Im a simple gay.”
tapos me sumagot
“sira! Dapat ‘Im simple and gay!’ Taga peyups ka ba? duh!”
tapos me sumagot ulit
“sira ka rin! yung simple is used as an adjective tapos yung gay is used as a noun. kaya ok lang yung simple gay nya!”

FINE ARTS WALL:
“nobody cares”
somebody answered:
“not even the carebears?”
then another:
“not even kier?”
then:
“not even zoren?”
lastly:
“not even zorro?”
all written by different people.

CHEMISTRY PAVILION:

Chem chair:
“push button to spray acid on prof’s face.”
Another chem chair:
“You Boron!!!”

BIOLOGY PAVILION:

Bio chair:
“Push cadaver to haunt teacher.”

FO Santos:
“SA MGA NAGTATAPON NG BASURA DITO… bawal.” akala ko, maninindak.

ENGINEERING BUILDING:

Sa Men’s CR, facing the urinal:
“Hawak ko saking mga kamay ang kinabukasan ng bayan!”
Reply:
“the future you are holding is very small.”

MATH BUILDING:

sa cr sa may math building:
“SUMAPI SA NPA! “
may sumagot:
“PAANO? “
may sumagot pa:
“MAGFILL UP NG COUPON AT IHULOG SA PINAKAMALAPIT NA DROP BOX SA SUKING TINDAHAN!”

sa likod ng isang “teacher’s chair” sa 3rd floor:
“BABALA: asawa ni babalu”

sa math 3rd floor, sa isang upuan uli.
“you’ll NEVER find what you’re looking for”
May nag-reply:
“find x.”

sa math 3rd floor, sa isa pang upuan uli.
nakasulat sa armchair:
“FUCK DA WORLD! “
ta’s may sumagot:
“FUCK U TOO! –WORLD”

3rd floor math cr:
“kaibigan, pagkapatos mong umihi, paki PLUS mo naman, hehehe.”

COLLEGE OF MUSIC
sa loob ng music room.
“maam _______(music prof) boses palaka! “
tas may sumagot
“nakarinig ka na ba ng boses ng palaka “
tas may sumagot uli
“weh “
tas may nag-react uli
“oo, sabi kokak! kokak!” <<<Potaena, reminds mo of Icang.

VINZONS HALL:

Wall ng vinzons
“Do not steal. The government hates competition” <<< Very true.

Men’s cr sa Vinzon’s:
“Remember: the hands that clean this toilet are the same hands that cook your food.”

men’s cr waaaay above the urinal:
“if you can reach this, the fire department wants you!”

NIGS (National Institute of Geological Sciences):
sa isang upuan:
“fuck nigs!”
may nagreply:
“who’s nigs?”

MAIN LIBRARY:
Sa isang lamesa ng main lib, filipiniana section:
“UP STUDENTS HAS BECOME PATETHIC”
tapos may sumagot…
“mali pang grammar at spelling mo, halatang di ka taga UP”

KALAYAAN RESIDENCE HALL:
“God is dead” – Nietzsche
Reply:
“Nietzsche is dead!” -God. <<< Hala, pati si Papa God, naki-join na.

SHOPPING CENTRE:
sa labas ng PNB:
“in case of emergency break ass and push butt”

AS WAITING SHED:
Ad from a Korean: “I need a English tutor.”
At may nagdagdag: “Badly.” <<< Waaaah. Galeng!

Uhm. Yun lang. Benta sila saken.

*this is a repost. originally posted on 27 November 2006
**image courtesy of tenth of nisan of flickr
Viewed 1319 times by 367 visitors this month

32 Comments

Tell Me I’m Not Writing into an Abyss
Or That is What Will Become of My Heart

Posted on by Yoshke in Blurts, Love |

Status: keep bleeding love.
Music: Bleeding Love – Leona Lewis, Love Song – Sara Bereilles

I know Dohna has already posted this video on her blog but I just want to share this to my readers, too. This is sooooo cute. Watch it now, now, NOW!!!

My Gawd! Life is so unfair! That little boy has a friggin’ love life?!?! And I? Ugh, I’d rather not mention. Haha.

Anyway, Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone! Viewed 519 times by 195 visitors this month

7 Comments

The Tragedy with a Last Name

Posted on by Yoshke in Celebrities, Rants |

Status: I just can’t refuse it.
Music: Don’t Stop the Music – Rihanna

It’s time for some local showbiz commentaries. Haha. First up, the old reeking hottest buzz in tinsel town — the alleged Piolo Pascual and Sam Milby love affair as suggested by Lolit Solis. I don’t buy this. Well, maybe they have an affair but what Lolit claims that the two were seen doing something i-don’t-know at some hotel? Nah. Total bluff. And whenever people ask me why I don’t believe it, I always tell them this:

On December 17, as I was reviewing for the Foreign Service Exams at Starbucks Imperial Palace Suites in Tomas Morato, I was surprised to find myself surrounded by a few celebrities and the press. In front of me were Mickey Perz and Mommy Yen (Pinoy Big Brother Season 2). To my right, at the center of the cafe, were Lolit Solis and a battalion of other entertainment writers together with the queen bee, Anabelle Rama. Soon, other writers including Alfie Lorenzo started showing up.

As much as I tried to concentrate on my studying, I just couldn’t. They talked so loudly as if Starbucks turned into an urban zoo all of a sudden. I even overheard Lolit Solis expressing her desire to retract regarding the Piolo-Sam controversy she had sparked with her writeup.

“Gusto ko na ngang bawiin yung writeup,” she said.

Anabelle Rama, then, replied, “Bakit mo naman babawiin? Nasabi mo na e. Wag mo nang bawiin.

Nice. Very nice. Although it doesn’t say anything regarding the validity of her claim, for me, wanting to retract says so much about her integrity (or the lack thereof).

And oh, by the way, the entertainment press were gathered there because the Gutierrez family would give away gifts, raffle-style (if I’m not mistaken). Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Philippine showbiz. Envelopmental journalism, anyone?

Read more Viewed 1083 times by 306 visitors this month

27 Comments

I Would Watch a Movie.

Posted on by Yoshke in Emo, Poetry |

I would watch a movie.
As I stood there at the bus stop
14 buses came and went
11 Drivers asked me to hop in
I refused.
Told them I would watch a movie.

8 pretty women passed by
6 of them smiled at me
1 talked to me
I said I would watch a movie
Trying to catch the 2:15 screening
2 jet planes flew overhead
Their shadows, an image of 2 Jesuses making love
I imagined God cringe at me
But I would just watch a movie
It wasn’t as horrible as the 4 times I forged my prof’s signature
And that 1 steamy moment I had with my bestfriend’s partner
And the 4 days I spent in the office just watching porn.
I would just watch a wholesome movie.

Not like this R-18 flick
The poster behind me
And 17 other ads posted on this board, 4 ft x 3
A Korean needing a English tutor
A man selling a Nokia 3210
A 20% off promo on motel accommodations,
No time for motels.
Today, I would watch a movie.

2.45 ft below it are 6 bread crumbs
371 ants falling in line for lunch.
At exactly 2:15.42, rain pours
288 rain drops initially
A miniature great flood
370 ants drowned in God’s urine, 60 mL
Only 1 pulled off a Noah
I picked it up
And crushed it.
It would bite me; I was sure.
Besides, it couldn’t survive alone.
It wouldn’t last the day counting crumbs and raindrops.
Ants can’t watch movies.
I’d seen so many movies; I lost count.

I would watch another movie.

Note: Blogger’s original work. Don’t plagiarise. To those who would dare, as Ayn said it, may the wrath of heaven and earth fall upon you. Please see legal and ethical reminders on the sidebar. Thanks very much. Viewed 533 times by 247 visitors this month

1 Comment

Anal with a Man, It’s True!

Posted on by Yoshke in Humor, Music |

This is a video interpretation of misheard lyrics to Christina Aguilera‘s “Ain’t No Other Man.” When I first saw this video some months back, I couldn’t help laughing my guts out. This is really funny. And don’t just take my word for it, see for yourself. (And yep, it’s wholesome. Trust me.)


What say you? Hilarious, ain’t it?

I also came across this picture while browsing through urbandictionary.com. This one really made me go “WHAAAAT?!?!”

Winner! At least she got the second largest. :P

Special thanks to ColorTrick (YouTube) and urbandictionary.com

Viewed 946 times by 330 visitors this month

21 Comments

The Art of Losing isn’t Hard to Master*

Posted on by Yoshke in Emo |

Status: On the losing end.
Music:
By Your Side – Sade

“The art of losing isn’t hard to master,” says one poem. My high school friends always told me that if there was one thing that they admired about me, it was my ability to ALWAYS look on the bright side. True, I was like that. But something robbed me of that optimism. I kind of lost myself somewhere.

On New Year’s Eve, I was about to go to the kitchen when I tripped on my toe. It was excruciating. But then, I made myself believe that I needed that pain to start the year right, so that everything I would feel from then on would be less painful. I was wrong. It was just the start.

I have lost so much since this year started. I lost my 3-year old mp3 player on the way to the office on January 2. I lost my ATM card a week later. And then, I lost my motorcycle while it was parked at the garage of our house in Batangas two weeks ago. I lost P5400 the other night somewhere in Ortigas after a fun gathering with my co-workers. I even lost my toothbrush somewhere in my apartment. The art of losing isn’t hard to master.

I lost two opportunities I’d rather not discuss. I lost all the hopes of passing the Foreign Service Exam, which I worked hard on but screwed up just because I failed to follow one simple instruction. I lost my drive to work hard. I lost my passion for writing, even screenplays. I lost my love for the littlest things. I lost my direction. The art of losing isn’t hard to master.

I lost two really good friends this month. I lost one to Australia. The other, to the United States, which is now the home country of many of my close friends. The art of losing isn’t hard to master.

And I really, really like someone. But I’m afraid he doesn’t feel the same way. I’m afraid to love him. I’m more afraid to lose. Sometimes, it is not the idea of losing that gets me. It is the feeling of being a loser.

The art of losing isn’t TOO hard to master.

Yes, when I was in high school, I would always look on the bright side. But if there’s one thing that college taught me, it is that some things are so dark they don’t have a bright side.

*with apologies to Elizabeth Bishop
**image courtesy of 121hypnosis.com
Viewed 486 times by 172 visitors this month

4 Comments

What’s All the Racket?

Posted on by Yoshke in Hotties, Sports |

Status: Sinfully lazy.
Music:
Hot Stuff – Craig David

An officemate accused me of loving Miroslav Klose (football/soccer player) just because of my sheer lust for him. I told him that I didn’t even find Klose sexy. He’s cute, aright? But my love for him is so beyond his physique. (But I wouldn’t mind having Klose for a night. Gawd, I’m daydreaming again.)

If there is one guy in sports that I really find incredibly hot, he’s not kicking a ball around the field. He’s smashing a ball with a racket. Another officemate asked me who it was. This was my answer:

If you don’t know him, poor you. Hehe. I would like to write something about him in my own words but it seems like sloth is getting the better of me, so I just copied this from his Wikipedia entry:

Marat Safin (born January 27, 1980) is a Russian former World No. 1 tennis player of Tatar ethnicity. Safin began his professional career in 1997 and held the No. 1 world ranking for 9 weeks in November and December of 2000. He is known for his good looks, large physical size, athleticism, controversial antics, and aggressive “power” style of play. He is fluent in Russian, English and Spanish.

Safin’s greatest accomplishments are winning the 2000 US Open (defeating Pete Sampras) and the 2005 Australian Open (defeating Lleyton Hewitt). Safin also helped lead Russia to davis Cup victories in 2002 and 2006.

So there. Hihi. You wanna see more of this tennis yumminess? Click here. (Come on, don’t be shy. I know you want to.)

Read more Viewed 1067 times by 388 visitors this month

11 Comments

Protected: The Ghost Behind Debbie

Posted on by Yoshke in Career, Mysteries, Oddities |

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:


Viewed 93 times by 56 visitors this month

Enter your password to view comments.

And Just Like That… I am Back.

Posted on by Yoshke in Blurts, Emo |

Yoshke is back. I am sooo back.

Year 2007 came to a close pleasantly. It was so good to me. In fact, it was the best year of my life. Years of resentment ended. Nice closures. New environment. New people. New business. New job. New achievements. New opportunities. New life.

2008 should be promising a fuckin’ wonderful year ahead. But right now, I am not happy. I look happy but I am not. I just feel so miserable inside. Something died. I wish I could say that I have no idea what robbed me of the happiness I had long kept in my hands. But I know exactly what it is.

Yes, I am back. But I left something in 2007 and I need it back. Badly.

The truth is, I feel like I’m on the brink of depression. Seriously.

“If I were thinking clearly, I would tell you that I wrestle alone in the dark, in the deep dark, and that only I can know. Only I can understand my condition.”
— Virginia Woolf in The Hours

I am back. Viewed 471 times by 181 visitors this month

12 Comments

50th Grammy, Baby

Posted on by Yoshke in Music |

Status: Nothing compares to a quiet evening alone.
Music: Crush – Paramore


It’s Grammy Awards season once again. Although the Grammy never fails to disappoint me every year, I don’t understand why I still get excited when they reveal the list of nominees. Hmmm. Last year, I wanted Mary J. Blige to win the Record of the Year award for Be Without You but it was handed to the Dixie Chicks instead. I love the country trio; they deserved the Song of the Year award and all the others but Record of the Year really should have been Mary’s. Tsk tsk.

Anyway, this year, Kanye West leads the pack again with eight nominations, followed by Amy Winehouse with six. I like them both but it’s just “like.” I don’t go ga-ga over them, no. Here are the nominees for some of the awards together with my predictions:

Record of the Year

  • Irreplaceable – Beyonce
  • The Pretender – Foo Fighters
  • Umbrella – Rihanna featuring Jay-Z
  • What Goes Around… Comes Around – Justin Timberlake
  • Rehab – Amy Winehous

What I want to win: Umbrella (I looove the song. Future classic.)
What might win: Umbrella or Rehab

Album of the Year

  • Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace – Foo Fighters
  • These Days – Vince Gill
  • River: The Joni Letters – Herbie Hancock
  • Graduation – Kanye West
  • Back to Black – Amy Winehouse

What I want to win: Na-uh.
What might win: Back to Black – Amy Winehouse

Song of the Year

  • Before He Cheats – Josh Kear & Chris Tompkins (Carrie Underwood)
  • Hey There Delilah – Tom Higgenson (Plain White T’s)
  • Like a Star – Corrine Bailey Rae (Corrine Bailey Rae)
  • Rehab – Amy Winehouse (Amy Winehouse)
  • Umbrella – Shawn Carter, Kuk Harrell, Terius Nash & Christopher Stewart (Rihanna feat Jay-Z)

What I want to win: Umbrella or Before He Cheats or Like a Star. Shocks. Can’t make up my mind. Haha.
What might win: Umbrella

Best New Artist

  • Feist
  • Ledisi
  • Paramore
  • Taylor Swift
  • Amy Winehouse

Whom I want to win: Amy Winehouse (but I like Paramore, too, haha)
Who might win: Amy Winehouse

Best Female Pop Vocal Performance

  • Candyman – Christina Aguilera
  • 1234 – Feist
  • Big Girls Don’t Cry
  • Say It Right – Nelly Furtado
  • Rehab – Amy Winehouse

Whom I want to win: Nelly Furtado (and Aguilera, hihi)
Who might win: Amy Winehouse or Christina Aguilera, a Grammy favourite

Read more Viewed 633 times by 230 visitors this month

12 Comments