Yoshke’s Weekend in Bohol in 4 Minutes
Hi guys, just sharing how my weekend went told in images in less than 4 minutes to the tune of Christina Aguilera’s MONDAY MORNING from the deluxe edition of her fourth studio album Bionic. (Haha. Sorry for plugging.)
I’ll be narrating what happened on my Bohol trip in detail soon. I just need to find time as I’ve been awfully busy. And oh by the way, I did not drop any of my four trips the past month. So now I’m tired, broke, and my skin is freakin’ flakin’. Sunog na sunog. LOL.
Album Review: Christina Aguilera – Bionic (2010)
“…The thing about Aguilera is that she’s used to zig when everyone else was zagging. And now, it seems like she decided to zag along with everyone else.” -EW.com
EW.com closed its review of Not Myself Tonight with these sentences. I wouldn’t blame them for thinking like this but I guess they were deceived by Not Myself Tonight. I love the single, don’t get me wrong, but this just didn’t represent the album in any way. Not Myself Tonight is like everything we have heard from today’s recording artists, except Christina can sing. I understand why they picked this track to be the first single — of all the tracks in Bionic, Not Myself Tonight is easily the most familiar and it is on this track that her voice is most recognizable.
But Bionic is more than that. Listen to Bionic and you’ll find Xtina going against the grain yet again, pushing the envelope harder, and yes, zigging while everyone else is zagging.
When Christina Aguilera said in an interview that she was experimenting more with her voice and exploring new ways to make music with it, she was not kidding. The album is unlike anything she has done before. It’s not even like anything other female performers and divas today have done before. Bionic is a big risk for an artist of her stature. It is not conventional. Yet, Aguilera was able to mesh her five-star voice with the different instruments that contributed to the genius that is Bionic.
To be honest, Bionic isn’t as futuristic as she sells it but it is indeed superhuman. And as you listen to it, subconsciously you are taken on a journey of a superhuman — opening with a big bang that is Bionic (track), taking you on a wild ride with Woohoo and Elastic Love, going deeper to the heart and soul of the album that is the four ballads at its core, and ending with a fun, wild, not-to-be-taken-seriously track that is Vanity.
I especially loved its row of ballads co-penned by Xtina’s long-time collaborator Linda Perry and new found ally Sia. It is the core of the record. It is as if Aguilera sheds of her metal armor, getting naked and revealing her heart and soul.It is Christina at her most vulnerable.
Most of all, Bionic successfully cements Christina’s status as probably this generation’s most versatile vocalist. She does urban, club-bangers, ballads and soul and does them well.
Here are what I think of each track:
Misadventures at Anawangin Cove, Zambales
I’d love to blog about our overnight stay in Anawangin two weekends ago. But the meat of that experience really was the “leaving the cove” part, boating back to the port! Murphy seemed to have hopped onto the boat with us. Murphy’s Law was just at work that day.
On the way back to Pundaquit from the Anawangin Cove, our boat’s engine just stopped. “That’s nasty,” I thought. But since I was with three of my bubbly friends, we were probably the coolest, most relaxed people ever to get stranded in the middle of the sea. We were laughing, making fun of the fact that sun is turning us into charcoals, and dismissing the probability of the boat toppling.
It wasn’t really scary. First, we had a life vest on. Second, it’s not like we were in the Pacific; the nearest land was still just yards away. Lastly, boats come passing by every minute. We were good. We love misadventures. The only thing we were worried about was our gadgets — cameras, iPods, cellphones.
Our boatmen were still trying to fix the engine and they really weren’t interested in giving up so we told them, maybe it’s time to have our boat get towed. We’d been floating for 15 minutes and the waves got stronger. Not to mention it was 12 freakin’ noon.
So we started waving at other passenger votes. But the passengers just waived back at us. LOL.
Top 20 Funniest Filipino Statement Fan Pages on Facebook | Part 1
Before anything else, thanks to all who liked, shared and commented on my Top 10 Funniest Facebook Fan Pages list (click here to read). I have been receiving requests to feature more so here’s another list of hilarious fan or like pages on Facebook. But this time, let’s get local.
There are thousands of Tagalog statement fan pages on Facebook today. In fact there are over 500 fan pages related to Jejemon alone, so you can just imagine how many you can find non-Jejemon-related. Some are funny, some are pointless, some were set up just so that the creator would have one. Haha.
Anyway, here are the first part of this list.
20. Badtrip ako sa mga guard na pabubukas pa ung bag, tutusukin lang naman!
I super-mega-ultra-uber agree! Haha. This is the second time these wizarding guards make it to a Yoshke.com list. When I enumerated the Top 18 Most Annoying Types of People, these guards opened the chart. So allow me to just quote myself, “I don’t know about other countries, but here in the Philippines, we have a lot of security guards who really do magic. What am I talking about? Well, these guards are those stationed at the entrance to the mall or train station. What’s really magical is they just point their “wands” to your bag, a little flick and voila! You’re bomb-free! And when something happens, like a bombing or something, the management claims they perform security measures thoroughly. Thoroughly, my ass.”
19. ANG MGA KAIBIGAN KO AY PARANG LATA!!! MAINGAY PERO ATLEAST HINDI PLASTIC
This one just made me crack up big time. Well, to the creator, good for you! LOL. I’d rather have a bunch of noisy friends than a bunch of fake ones.
What’s On My Mind?
“What’s on your mind?”
Every night, while lying in bed before we go to sleep and I’m unusually quiet, you’d look at me and ask, “What’s on your mind?” I’d answer with a dismissing, “Wala lang. (Nothing.)” And then, we’d talk about something else.
The truth is, I wasn’t thinking about nothing. I was thinking about you.
Have you ever wondered why I would always make sure you go to sleep before me? That’s because I love looking at you while you’re in dreamland. I would look at you, just look at you. And then I’d just find myself praying, “God, what good did I do to deserve him?”
The funny thing is, I’m not even sure if I believe in God, but I believe in you. You are real. Your love for me is real. Nothing is more real than this. What good did I do to deserve this?
I’d lool for reasons. I would consider the moment I looked for the woman who dropped her pouch when I was at a shopping center in my hometown. Or my yearly habit of donating clothes and books to kids at an orphanage in Taal, Batangas. Or that I usually volunteer. But no, they are not good enough. You are bigger than all of them combined.
I got scared sometimes. I’d think, maybe the question I should be asking was “What bad did you do to deserve me?” Or maybe this happiness actually came with misery that I was yet to feel. Worst, “What if I don’t deserve you at all?”
That’s what ran through my head every night when we were about to sleep or when I watched you sleep. I couldn’t figure it out. I was looking for a reason you’re mine.
Not anymore.
Pahiyas Festival 2010: Of Veggies, Colors and Cute Boys
Cute boys?!?!
Oh yeah, you read it right. The entire time we were joining the festivities, my friend Andre and I were “birdwatching,” spotting one cute guy after another. Lucban locals are wildly attractive. But of course, I can only look. I’m married so I left all the touching with Andre. Haha.
Anyway, after so much thinking, I finally decided to go on a trip with my officemates to Lucban, Quezon for the annual Pahiyas Festival. And it was a good decision. Despite the awful traffic, we still managed to have the most awesome time together.
The first thing I said to myself upon setting foot on the town was “OMG, I belong.” This festival was so visually stereotypically gay. You know, the rainbow colors, the decorations. I feel like if I die and I get reincarnated into a Philippine Festival, I’m sooo gonna be Pahiyas. I mean, come on, just look at this blog’s color palette. Makulay ang buhay dahil sa mga nakasabit na gulay.
Speaking of gulay, the second thing I said to myself was, “Gosh, what’s gonna happen to these veggies after the festival?” Seriously, I felt hurt for the vegetables, they were like cute boyfriends, you just display them, take pictures of them, parade them and then once the merriment subsides, what now? Please don’t tell me these veggies were headed to the dumpsite. Poor veggies. They sacrificed their lives. Haha, I’m being melodramatic here.
Four Trips and a Problem
Last year, I was complaining, insisting that summer was a lie. Primarily because I didn’t feel it. I wasn’t able to go anywhere other than my apartment and office. The only thing that made summer last year “summer” was the sun’s intense heat. But I kind of sat it out.
This year, ah, this year is different. Although summer has not started for me yet, it’s going to be really, really fun. I haven’t gone on a trip since Sagada last December but I have a busy couple of months ahead of me now. And I’m so excited, I just can’t hide it, I’m blogging about it.
- TRIP NO. 1
Third weekend of May (15-16) – I’ll be in Quezon for the Pahiyas Festival! Yay! It will be my first time to witness it so I was thrilled when I received an invitation from my officemates! - TRIP NO. 2
Fourth weekend of May (22-23) – I’ll be at Anawangin Cove in Zambales with my college friends. This is going to be the first time that we will be seeing Mimay again. (She’s a friend who is now based in California.) - TRIP NO. 3
Fifth weekend of May (28-30) – Outing with our clients. Destination: Subic. This is going to be the first time I’ll be traveling with them. - TRIP NO. 4
First weekend of June (5-7) – Company outing in Bohol! Yipee. Loveth, loveth, loveth. I’ve always wanted to visit Bohol. It’s number 2 on the top Philippine destinations I am dying to visit!
So there goes my schedule. Hmmm. I have a problem, though. When organizers asked me if I would go with them, I said “yes” right away. Without even realizing that they are one weekend after another. I can’t possibly go on all of them. It’s gonna be s00o tiring. Plus, it’s going to be really, really costly for me. So here’s the problem. I have to drop one.
Which trip should I drop?
Top 10 Funniest Facebook Fan Pages | Batch 1
The advent of Facebook gave the other social networking sites a run for their money. Facebook is just so awesome. I’ve been on Facebook since 2007 and I liked the idea that it does not allow users to personalize the design of the interface. That’s why I left Myspace and Friendster, my friends’ profiles starting to get all messed up that it annoyed me to death.
But because Facebook does not enable users to personalize their user profile interface, I thought it would hinder its population’s creativity. But Facebook fan pages provide just that — an avenue through which users can express their imagination, wit and humor.
So here we go, here are the top 10 funniest fan pages on Facebook that I found.
10. Pandas are the least racist animal. They’re black, white AND asian!
1,587,570 people like this
I love pandas! But I never really thought about the idea of it being black and white and Asian until this fan page! LOL. Sadly, Facebook took away the creator’s publishing rights! Bad, bad! So now it’s a fan page with virtually no engagement. Would’ve been awesome.
9. I dont care about your farm, or your fish, or your park, or your mafia!!!
6,015,966 people like this
“We also DONT CARE ABOUT YOUR CAFE, ZOO, OR YOUR SORORITY! Wait, WHAT?!?!?!?! PETVILL?!?!?!?! ENOUGH OF THE FLIPPIN VILLS IN GENERAL,” adds the creator of the fan page.
True, it gets annoying sometimes. But as a social media specialist, I understand why Farmville, Yoville, Mafia Wars and whatever encourage people to post their updates, progress and screenshots on their wall. Obviously, they’re going for virality. But I won’t blame other people who gets irked.
Does ProActiv Solution Really Work?
My skin isn’t flawless.
Well, that’s the best sugarcoating that I can come up with to describe my skin. I have the nastiest skin in the universe. It pumps more oil than any country in the Middle East. It is as persistent as Richard Gomez shoving himself into politics. It is my one and only source of insecurities. God, I hate it. Especially during summer. In cold weather it’s tamed but it goes on a breakout spree when the sun is hotter than my hubby. (Wow, that rhymed.)
Seriously, it is just nasty. In fact, I visit a dermatologist regularly and take isotretinoin (oral meds) every day but it only makes my skin less nasty. Quite but not quite. And mind you, both are pricey!
They blame genetics for my skin but hey, I blamed my dad enough already for so many things so I won’t pin this on him, too. I mean, come on, he’s dead. Rest in peace. I just wish I could say the same for my pimples.
There’s still one hope, though. One of my colleagues approached me and handed me a ProActiv Solution 30-day trial kit.
Oh yeah, if you’re one of those people who watch home TV shopping when your variety shows fail you, this surely rings a bell. I’ve always seen this on TV but I have seen the TV ad as many times as I ignored them. But maybe I should give it a try. Hell, with this skin, there really isn’t much to lose. LOL.
First Listen to Christina Aguilera’s ‘You Lost Me’ and ‘Bionic’ Tracks (VH1 Storytellers Leaks with Lyrics)
It seems like Christina Aguilera is going the Stripped way again. Although Christina Aguilera herself had said that her next album Bionic was going to be Stripped 2.0 (with Not Myself Tonight as Dirrty 2.0), it’s only now that two of the tracks from her upcoming album Bionic (out June 8th) that it is confirmed.
You Lost Me, one of the tracks that leaked, reminds me so much of Beautiful, but this time the influence came from Sia and not Linda Perry. The title track Bionic, on the other hand, sounds definitely more funky and more pleasing than Not Myself Tonight in the same way that Dirrty was not the best dance track from Stripped.
Not Myself Tonight obviously went for shock value the way Dirrty did. It’s the single that’s most likely to spark controversy and I must say that it was successful in that department especially now that the provocative, daring music video is released.
Listen to Christina Aguilera’s live VH1 Storytellers performance of the album’s opening track here:
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It has a hard beat but it’s really hard to comment on it since the piece has very low quality (because it was recorded secretly by a fan who was part of the live audience). One thing’s sure, though: it’s really catchy and infectious. I’m just not sure if this is a full song or just an intro. If you’re a Legendtina fan, you know how much Aguilera loves intro tracks in her albums.
Meanwhile, here’s the strings-driven ballad You Lost Me. Listen, listen:
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It’s beautifully epic! It’s about infidelity. The melody and lyrics are haunting. Vocally, as expected, it was powerful but different since Aguilera obviously explored the softer side of her voice here. I love how she sang the “And we-e-e-e-e had magic, and thi-i-i-i-is is tragic” part. Also, the way she sang “You couldn’t keep your hands to yourself” was just damn piercing and sad, yet funny at the same time.
The track was penned by Sia and Christina Aguilera herself. God, it reminds me of the first time I heard Beautiful. Goosebumps. Here are the lyrics although this is still a work in progress. The low quality of the recording makes it hard to understand the words:
On May 31, 1985, tragedy struck when 41 tornadoes hit Canada and the US, leaving 76 people dead. At the same time, a doomed couple in the Philippines were having the best orgasms of their lives. Nine months (280 days) later, a healthy baby boy was brought into this world by normal delivery. That was exactly a week before Microsoft had its initial public offering.
Today, Yoshke Dimen resides independently in Mandaluyong City. He got a degree in Film from an overrated university in Diliman but is now pursuing a career in Social Media.
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