A Break-up Letter


I never expected I'd be writing you this letter. We've had six years of wonderful memories but I'm afraid it had come to the Read more

Welcome to the New Yoshke.com


New look. New attitude. New experiences. Honestly, I had been neglecting this blog the past few weeks because of my awfully hectic schedule. Work had Read more

Sometimes We Burn to Live


Whenever I meet people for the first time, it always happens. When they start their sentence with "I hope you don't mind me asking but," Read more

Judging By the Cover


Our office is just a stone's throw from where I live. In fact, all I have to do is cross EDSA and voila, hello Read more

Fireworks, Hormones, and this Blog Post


You remember last week when I told you I found it difficult to blog since I met you? Since we became a couple officially, Read more

Do They Read Blogs in Heaven?


Whenever I say that the earliest memory I have is the accident wherein I had my left arm somewhat toasted, I lie. My earliest Read more

Unusual Breakfast


Here we are again. In the usual corner. Usual table. Usual diner. Usual time. And most probably, usual meal. I'm getting tired of this Read more

Top 10 National Stereotypes


Heaven is where the cooks are French, the police are British, the mechanics are German, the lovers are Italian and everything is organized by Read more

EDSA


It could have been a horrible Saturday. I was in the passenger seat. It was a bit raining. Normally, EDSA gets on my nerves. That's why Read more

Why Nursery Rhymes Are So Violent


A few months ago, I was teaching my 4-year old nephew some nursery rhymes with a DVD. After a lot of singing, he slowly Read more

Top 10 Worst Things to Say During Sex


Sex is the art of love. It must be done in the most enjoyable and most satisfying manner. This act of love of two Read more

The Promil Kid Drops the Bomb


Of all the living things created by God, I love my nephew the most. I call him the Promil Kid. He’s the cutest thing. Read more

••••••

How is teh Me?

Posted on October 25, 2007 by Yoshke in Blurts, Career, Vanities |

Status: Damn cold.
Music: Nobody Wants to be Lonely – Ricky Martin & Christina Aguilera

Gawd, it took me six days before finally updating this blog. Still uber-busy. Nevertheless, I am still glad to announce that it’s been nine days since I last touched a cigarette. This is because my heart has been aching like hell. No, I’m not being schmaltzy. That’s not figurative. I’m talking about the organ (no, not that organ, silly, much higher). You know the organ that pumps blood called “heart.” Right, that organ. It hurts. So I stopped smoking. I can’t believe I survived nine days without nicotine, caffeine, and beer. That’s an accomplishment. I’ve been rewarding myself with too much yoghurt with live microorganisms (Nancy Castiglione, ikaw ba yan?). Yum yum. I have to keep this up.

Anyway, being excruciatingly busy at work, I’ve been desperately struggling to find something enjoyable. Yahoo Messenger has become my only source of relaxation. To be more specific — my YM status messages. Here are some of my status messages this past few days. :

  1. My last name may be Hungarian but no, I don’t like sausages. (Not true, actually. I like sausages.)
  2. “I feel drunk but I’m sober. I’m young and I’m underpaid. I’m tired but I’m working. Yeah!” (Hand in my Pocket, Alanis Morissette)
  3. “It’s like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a DAMN knife.” (modified Ironic, Alanis Morissette)
  4. Alanis Morissette is Canada’s greatest contribution to mankind.
  5. When I was a kid, I thought I could make a deck of cards explode. You know, like Gambit. When my dad told me it was impossible, I packed my stuff and ran away. They found me in an arcade.
  6. I hate bitchy people. They’re just, uh, bitchy.
  7. This is when “work” becomes a verb. Oh please, Work, I like you better when you were a noun.
  8. This is how it feels to pretend like I know what I’m writing about.
  9. Waaaah! I really don’t know what I’m writing about.
  10. When I don’t know what I’m writing about, I just… Damn, I really don’t know what I’m writing about.
  11. I miss Vanessa Carlton. Damn. This is sooo… gay.
  12. I miss oversleeping like I miss college. Damn, I can’t believe I miss college!
  13. “Malas mo. Ikaw ang natipuhan ko.” (Oo, Up Dharma Down)
  14. Gawd, again, I really don’t know what I’m writing about.
  15. Mum, I’m telling you. It’s not just a phase! You see, I still like Baby Spice. And the rest of ‘em.
  16. It’s weird that I like the Pussycat Dolls. I mean, I don’t like dolls. I don’t like cats. And I don’t like….
  17. My ex-girlfriend and I wanted to hurt each other so badly. She dated my bestfriend. I dated her brother. I won.
  18. Writing is like sex. It’s exciting. It’s exhausting. And I suck at it.

Before I end this, I just want to make it clear that the last item is NOT true. Absolutely false. Written just for humour. Haha. Defensive. Viewed 1176 times by 348 visitors this month

44 Comments

My Top 50 All-Time Favourite Films (Part 5)

Posted on October 19, 2007 by Yoshke in Lists, Movies, Reviews |

Top 50-41, 40-31, 30-21, 20-11. Whoah. And now, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome my top 10 all-time favourite films….

…

10. Finding Nemo (2003)

Genre: Comedy
Director: Andrew Stanton, Lee Unkrich
Starring: Albert Brooks, Ellen DeGeneres, Alexander Gould
Plot: 71% of the Earth’s surface is covered by water. That’s a lot of space to find one fish.
Top Critics’ Average Mark: 100% — WOW!!!

“I shall call him Squishy. And he shall be mine. And he shall be my Squishy.”

The only animated movie in my list, Finding Nemo is one movie that I really, really enjoyed. I was alone when I watched it in a theatre. (I know, what a loser.) But I still couldn’t help laughing. After the film, I stayed inside and watched it again. Hahaha. My favourite character is Dory and Crush, the turtle. Had I extended this list to Top 100, you’d find a number of animated films including Beauty and the Beast, Lion King, and Monsters, Inc.
…

9. (tied) Chicago (2002)

Genre: Musical
Director: Rob Marshall
Starring: Renee Zellweger, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Richard Gere
Plot: Murderesses Velma Kelly and Roxie Hart find themselves on death row together and fight for the fame that will keep them from the gallows in 1920s Chicago.
Top Critics’ Average Mark: 92%

“With the right song and dance, you can get away with murder.”

From its well choreographed dance sequences, entertaining songs, impressive acting performances, excellent direction, and all that jazz, Chicago deserves a slot in my Top 10. However, until now, I still don’t think that it deserves the Oscar Best Picture award. Although Renee Zellweger did a fantastic job giving life to Roxie Hart, Catherine Zeta Jones steals the movie with her Velma Kelly character.

…

9. (tied) Moulin Rouge (2001)

Genre: Musical
Director: Baz Luhrmann
Starring: Nicole Kidman, Ewan McGregor
Plot: A poet falls for a beautiful courtesan whom a jealous duke covets in this stylish musical, with music drawn from familiar 20th century sources.
Top Critics’ Average Mark: 65% Aaaw

“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.”

This is the fourth in my list and the first of three Nicole Kidman-starrers in my Top 10. Moulin Rouge is filled with so much elements that only this movie can pull off. As what Bebs might call it, this is a “pastiche.” But what I like most, aside from MY Nicole Kidman, is how they used familiar songs like Roxanne, Like a Virgin, and Smells Like Teen Spirit. I cried twice — the part when they are singing Come What May, and the part when Satine dies. The production design is fantabulous. And every scene is spectacular, spectacular! This should have won the Oscar Best Picture that year, and not A Beautiful Mind. Nicole should have received the Best Actress nod and not Halle Berry. (Nicole Kidman is love, love, love. I loooooooove her.)

…
… Read more Viewed 2035 times by 586 visitors this month

54 Comments

Blush. Rush. Hush.

Posted on October 14, 2007 by Yoshke in Career, Vanities |

Status: We don’t fight fair
Music: The Takeover, The Break’s Over – Fall Out Boy

I can’t help noticing that since it takes me too long to update this blog, my entries get lengthier and lengthier. Uhm, I hate lengthy posts. I know they can get boring sometimes, so don’t worry, I promise that this one is not gonna be lengthy.

I was supposed to update this last night, but I got home at 3:30am, too tired to actually do anything but visit dreamland. Uh.

###

BLUSH, BABY, BLUSH!

One weird thing about me is that I easily blush. And whenever I do, it’s so obvious. I really turn red. I blush every time I feel embarrassed, ashamed or nervous. If I’m keeping a secret, say for example, the identity of this Mr. Perfect, you can easily know without me saying anything just by guessing who he really is. If you mention his name, I will surely blush right at that moment. And then, you’ll know.

Last week, I was gorging on some meal with a friend when my Mr. Perfect greeted me. My friend said I turned red instantly. Good thing my Mr. Perfect didn’t notice. (Or so I think.)

The other night, my friends were just talking about something, teasing me when I turned red. I couldn’t do anything but cover my face with my jacket or I’d have looked terribly stupid.

When I was in college, my friend Icang used to tell me how I would look silly when the person I admired so much back then was around. I would turn incredibly red.

And it’s not just blushing. When I blush, it’s like it comes with the whole package. I stutter, I get clumsy, and I act weird. Things I have no control over.

Heck, I need to do something about it. I know some of my readers are registered nurses so my educated guess is that you know the human body better than I do. Is there any way I can prevent blushing and other physiological manifestations of emotional geysers? Please, I need it right now. I don’t want to get myself in deep shameful shit.

How about you? Do you blush often? Or am I just really, er, abnormal?

###

THE DAYS BETWEEN TODAY AND BECOMING-A-DIPLOMAT DAY

My friends have been asking me how I find my new job as a writer. They ask me if it’s fulfilling. And of course, I have a default answer. “I don’t need a fulfilling job right now. The only job that will give me fulfillment is being a diplomat. And until I become one, I don’t need to feel fulfilled. I just need to feel happy.”

And now, the question is, “Am I happy?” Hmmm. I’m relatively happy. The job is not as easy as I thought. Actually, it is. But it’s pretty stressful, too. My work runs from 7am to 4pm, and after office hours, you’ll find me in an arcade or bowling alley in Megamall just to get rid of the stress I have accumulated the whole day. Very, very high school.

I only have a few people that I get along with in the office — Bridget and Aika (whom I always go out with), Dana, Kristel, Paul and Jon (whom I always spend my cigarette breaks with). It’s funny because Christian, who sat next to me, had already quit the job for a Marketing position for some company — the jobs I turned my back on for this job.

Last Thursday, I got a call from another company offering me a position in Advertising and Promotions. You know how I used to hate the culture in the advertising field. Aika and Bridget told me to grab the chance. I did not. I was afraid their offer would be better than my current company, and would tempt me to quit this early for a better job. That’s just silly. I have just started and I’d be quitting that fast?

Anyway, I think I’m enjoying. I just wish that the Department of Foreign Affairs would release the second exam’s schedule soon.

###

MISTAKEN FOR SOMEONE ELSE, HUH?

Last night, I was to meet my officemates Bridget, Aika, Dana, and Jon for a little drink. On my way to our meeting place from Shangrila Mall, I walked past EDSA Shangrila Hotel. One block away from me was this man in his early 30s, in his long-sleeved polo and blue tie. It was 7:30pm. As I continued walking, I began noticing that he was looking at me. And as the distance between us got shorter and shorter, he wouldn’t look away. He just maintained that eye contact that made me feel very uncomfortable. Two metres between us, he smiled.

I had a good look at him. Yep, thirty-something. Neat. Tall. Nice eyes. A little chubby. Very masculine but his aura sent signals of certain pinkness. Not overly handsome but cute. I continued walking.

In the middle of the pavement, I looked back. There he was standing still in front of the hotel, looking at me. And then he raised his hand and waved. I stopped walking. He ran towards me.

One metre between us, he stopped. He said, “Oh, I’m sorry. I think I’ve mistaken you for someone I know.” He flashed that gorgeous smile again.

I laughed a little, “A’right.”

And then, he stepped a little closer and said…. Oops, uhm, I’m sorry. Gawd, I’m doing it again. This post is long enough. I can’t write any longer. I promised you I would not post lengthy entries anymore. So, a’right, I better stop here. So there. Bye for now. Hehehe.

images courtsy of ryan-design.com, margomilne.com, and blogoscoped.com Viewed 1050 times by 329 visitors this month

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My Top 50 All-Time Favourite Films (Part 4)*

Posted on October 8, 2007 by Yoshke in Lists, Movies, Reviews |

This is a very lengthy post so no much intro needed now. Just a reminder, this is not a list of the best movies for me, this is my favourites list. If you missed the bottom 30 movies, check these out: Top 50-41, 40-31, 30-21. A’right. Back to the countdown….

…

20. The Blair Witch Project (1999)
Genre: Horror
Director: Daniel Myrick, Eduardo Sanchez
Starring: Heather Donahue, Michael Williams, Joshua Leonard
Plot: In October of 1994, three student film makers disappeared in the woods near Burkittesville, Maryland. One year later, their footage was found.
Top Critics’ Average Mark: 88%

“I’m afraid to close my eyes, I’m afraid to open them.”

The second of the only two horror films in this list (the other is The Others), The Blair Witch Project is a great horror movie. There was no monster or ghost shown but it really scared the hell out of me. And I watched it already knowing that this did not happen for real. But still, I was blown away. Scary, scary, scary.

…

19. (tied) American Beauty (1999)
Genre: Drama
Director: Sam Mendes
Starring: Kevin Spacey, Annette Bening
Plot: Lester Burnham, a depressed suburban father in a mid-life crisis, decides to turn his hectic life around after developing an infatuation for his daughter’s attractive friend.
Top Critics’ Mark: 93%

“Remember those posters that said, ‘Today is the first day of the rest of your life?’ Well, that’s true with every day except one: the day that you die.”

Everybody was talking about this film and I just couldn’t care less. For starters, I thought, what could be interesting about suburbia. I thought suburbia was boring. And then after watching it, I realised that was exactly the point. Suburbia is boring but it doesn’t mean that nothing is happening.

… Read more Viewed 2141 times by 500 visitors this month

51 Comments

Full Circle to Naiveté

Posted on October 6, 2007 by Yoshke in Blurts, Love |

Status: I’m love stoned I could swear
Music: Lovestoned – Justin Timberlake | I Will Remember You – Ryan Cabrera

Have you ever felt something sooo INTENSE you feel like you are going to blow anytime? Well, that’s what I’m feeling right now. That’s what I’ve been feeling since I met this guy. I have never felt something like this before. This is the beginning of a potential obsession.

You know the Mr. Perfect I painted on my mind when I was still naive and then later on, I realised he couldn’t possibly exist? The type that would make me fly to Amsterdam and get married as soon as possible? That’s him.

When I first laid eyes on him, I was shocked because he looked so mighty familiar. I had dreamt about him since the very minute I turned bisexual. But then he was imaginary and unreal. And now, I met him. My Mr. Perfect. (Yeah, I know nobody’s perfect but I’m sure you get me.)

When I first saw him, I told myself, “This can’t be real. He can’t be real.” I created a picture of my Mr. Perfect in my head, and then I found someone who looks EXACTLY like him. “He can’t be real.” But he is.

Every time I see him, I freeze and melt on the spot. I feel like I would do anything just to have him. ANYTHING. And the funny part is, I think he notices his effect on me — sublime, excruciating and mortifying, all at the same time.

The sad part part is, I know that nothing I do can make that possible. Argh. I think he’s straight.

But sooner or later, I will get him. Someday, he will be mine. (Naks! Conviction!) In the meantime, I shall divert my attention to something more useful. Like beer. Or blogging. Or other guys.

“…And now I walk around without a care.
He’s got me hooked; It just ain’t fair, but I…
I’m love stoned and I could swear that he knows
Think that he knows, oh, oh
He knows, he knows…”

PS: Contrary to what you might be thinking right now, hindi ito libog. This is sooo beyond lust. He’s charming and smart. He’s my Mr. Perfect. Viewed 942 times by 330 visitors this month

36 Comments

More Rumdiddlyumdiddlyumdiddly Rubbish

Posted on October 3, 2007 by Yoshke in Emo, Family, Friends, Love, Vanities |

Status: Wish I’ve done a little bit more
Music: Should Woulda Coulda – Beverly Knight

Wow, I realise that it’s taking me too long to update my blog lately. It’s been a very busy week and it makes me happy. Hehe. Aside from my day job, Tonet and I were able to close a screenwriting deal with an independent film producer. This would be the second full-length script that I sold. If I would continue being able to sell screenplays at the rate I’m going, I wouldn’t even need a day job. So you see, busy means money. Yum, yum.

Anyway, I noticed that it’s been a while since I last talked about my favourite topic in the world: myself. So since most of my readers don’t know me personally, let me tell you a few craps about myself.

… Read more Viewed 1181 times by 352 visitors this month

38 Comments

The Promil Kid Drops the Bomb

Posted on September 30, 2007 by Yoshke in Family, Humor |

Of all the living things created by God, I love my nephew the most. I call him the Promil Kid. He’s the cutest thing. I’ve always written about him and he has won the love of the people around me even before they met him. I’m starting to think he could be my mascot for this blog. Something like Dexter. :P

Someday when he’s old enough to discover what I’ve been doing to him, he’ll insist he get paid for every entry I wrote about him. Darn, that’d be costly!

We fight over a bar of snickers. I reprimanded him for calling a salesman “hideous”. He kicked his school principal for not letting him take home a Sto. Nino displayed inside the church. He almost dropped the bomb that I’m gay in a family dinner. He believed the Virgin Mary was Our Lady of Enchanted Kingdom. But he’s someone I can give my life to, and I will if I have to.

Here are some more of my unforgettable moments with the Promil Kid.

###

I was lying in my bed beside my 3-year-old nephew when he, out of the blue, asked me, “Tito (uncle), do you have a girlfriend?”

“No,” I answered. “Why?”

“I have a girlfriend.”

“You? Really? What’s her name?”

“Tanya. She’s my classmate.”

Suddenly, my phone rang. It was Andre. He was with Dohna and they were asking me if I could hang out with them. Sadly, I was in Batangas so I had to beg off.

After I hung up, my nephew asked, “Your girlfriend?”

“No. It was my friend Andre.”

“Your girlfriend’s name is Andre?”

“Nope. Andre is just a friend. And he’s a boy.”

He looked at me, discombobulated. “Your girlfriend is a boy?”

Ay ewan ko sa’yo. Bahala kang bata ka.

# # #

Two weeks ago, everyone in the family, except me, was having the hardest time dealing with “sore eyes” (pinkeye). Including my nephew. I noticed that he was always scratching his bloodshot red eyes while doing his homework.

“Don’t scratch your eyes. It’ll get redder and redder.” I told him.

“It’s OK. I like red.” He answered as he continued scratching his eyes so hard.

“No, you don’t. You like blue. You never liked red.”

He looked at me, wondering dumbly, “Tito, how do I turn my eyes blue?”

“You can’t.”

He gave me a disappointed look and said, “I like red.” And then he began scratching his eyes again.

# # #

I woke up last Sunday and found my nephew in the living area holding a microphone attached to the mini-component system. My nephew knows how to operate our DVD player, VCR, TV, and everything else. Seeing him, I was shocked and annoyed at the same time. It seemed to me that he was also the one who plugged it into the socket. What if he was electrocuted while plugging it in? I was responsible for him. He could’ve died and I was still upstairs, in dreamland. Infuriated at that moment, I swore I would give him the most terrible nagging he would ever receive from anyone. I was just about to shout at him when he spoke on the microphone so sweetly. “Good morning, Tito. I love you.”

I gave him the tightest and warmest hug, instead.

# # #

At my dad’s third death anniversary dinner, I was trapped in a conversation with my family about not having a girlfriend lately. No one in my family knows about the recent change in my sexuality. Hehehe. It’s been more than two years since I last introduced a girlfriend to them and they were bugging me why I seemed to be not bringing someone home for them to know personally. I just told them that I was busy trying to build a career in the diplomatic field. Fortunately for me, they bought it. They stopped asking and turned quiet. Parang may dumaan na anghel. Whew. Thank God.

Suddenly, my nephew broke the silence. “Tito said that his girlfriend is a boy.”

Oh.My.Gee. I almost dropped my fork. My lower jaw would have gone with it.

images courtesy of bookofmormonposters.com Viewed 1276 times by 387 visitors this month

52 Comments

Rumdiddlyumdiddlyumdiddly Rubbish

Posted on September 24, 2007 by Yoshke in Blurts, Emo, Rants |

Status: Well I’m so garish, a little unfairish…
Music: Childish - Damien Rice

Someone so dear to me has just so casually called me “childish” and “immature.” It’s not a big thing really. But I don’t know why I’m bothered until now. Maybe because I think it’s true.

# # #

I just got a new haircut. I don’t like it. Uh. I think I want to kill a hairstylist right now. I’m contemplating which weapon to use. Scissors? Blade? Razor? Hairspray?

# # #

My sister borrowed some PhP100,000 from me. She said she couldn’t touch her savings and she wanted to start a business. I told her I would only lend her money if she agreed to give me 50% of the profits. She did. So yeah, I think I’m starting a new business. Wish me luck.

# # #

To you son of a bitch, STOP PESTERING ME! I did not screw your boyfriend. I maybe bitchy but I’m not a bitch. He’s cute a’right. But he’s insufferably dumb. All the poor guy knows about is “fashion.” I doubt if he can even spell it. He just gives me migraine attacks the way chocolates do. At least, chocolates have nuts. So. Fuck. Off.  Viewed 1161 times by 383 visitors this month

46 Comments

Paper Planes

Posted on September 23, 2007 by Yoshke in Love, Poetry |

a what-to-do-in-case-of-fire pamphlet
one, two, into the cabinet

my birth certificate
one, two, into my closet

my winning lotto ticket
one, two, into the garbage basket

a scratch paper with your name on it
one, two
one, two
one, two

it will never land.
it will never leave my hand.

Note: I already posted this on my previous blog, click here. I just had to move it here so I could file my literary works under one category. Anyway, usual reminder, blogger’s original work. Please see legal and ethical reminders on the sidebar. Thanks very much.
image courtesy of jamboree.freedom-in-education.co.uk Viewed 812 times by 330 visitors this month

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My Top 50 All-Time Favourite Films (Part 3)*

Posted on September 20, 2007 by Yoshke in Lists, Movies, Reviews |

I’ve just finished preparing penne carbonara. Yum yum. But Gawd, I’m exhausted. And I refuse to eat it with parmesan cheese since Dam-dam used the poor cheese as a metaphor for his dandruff. GROSS!

And there’s an epidemic affecting Film graduates in the blogosphere. First it was Ayn with her Top 70 Favourite Films. And then myself. And now, Dam-dam is starting to feature his Top 80. And Lei, Top 20. Come on, come on. Let’s compare afterwards. Hehehe.

Anyway, we’re almost halfway to my Top 10. If you missed the first two sets, you can find them here (50-41) and here (41-30). Moving on…

30. The Devil Wears Prada (2006)

Genre: Comedy
Director: David Frankel
Starring: Meryl Streep, Anne Hathaway
Plot: A naive young woman comes to New York and scores a job as the assistant to one of the city’s biggest magazine editors, the ruthless and cynical Miranda Priestly.
Top Critics’ Average Mark: 82%

“A million girls would kill for this job.”

Opening this batch is the very unforgiving Miranda Priestley and her two assistants Emily and Emily Andy. I soooo love Meryl Streep in this movie. Not her best performance but still truly unforgettable. Although some people may find this movie typical, formulaic or another ugly duckling tale or whatever, no one can say anything bad about its witty dialogues, terrific acting performances, and the gorgeous costumes and the uber-hot women wearing them especially Emily Blunt. If I had to judge a film just for its entertainment value, I’d give this a 100. Really funny movie. That’s all.

29. Closer (2004)

Genre: Drama
Director: Mike Nichols
Starring: Julia Roberts, Jude Law, Clive Owen, Natalie Portman
Plot: The relationships of two couples become complicated and deceitful when the man from one couple meets the woman of the other.
Top Critics’ Average Mark: 74%

“If you believe in love at first sight, you never stop looking.”

This is the only Julia Roberts-starrer in this list. Ehehehe. A cynical way of looking at relationships, Closer was publicised as the more realistic look at love. And true enough, it was very realistic. And by realistic, I mean “painful.” It’s all about lies. About cheating. About love. About longing. About confusion. About relationships. About Natalie Portman. She’s ravishing. Hehehehe.

Read more Viewed 1771 times by 487 visitors this month

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