A Break-up Letter


I never expected I'd be writing you this letter. We've had six years of wonderful memories but I'm afraid it had come to the point where you started to Read more

The New Yoshke.com


New look. New attitude. New experiences. Honestly, I had been neglecting this blog the past few weeks because of my awfully hectic schedule. Work had been unforgiving on weekdays and Read more

Sometimes We Burn to Live


Whenever I meet people for the first time, it always happens. When they start their sentence with "I hope you don't mind me asking but," I know they are going Read more

Fireworks, Hormones, and this Blog Post


You remember last week when I told you I found it difficult to blog since I met you? Since we became a couple officially, I have not had enough Read more

Do They Read Blogs in Heaven?


Whenever I say that the earliest memory I have is the accident wherein I had my left arm somewhat toasted, I lie. My earliest memory is, in fact, months Read more

Unusual Breakfast


Here we are again. In the usual corner. Usual table. Usual diner. Usual time. And most probably, usual meal. I'm getting tired of this really. Everything's a routine. And Read more

Top 10 National Stereotypes


Heaven is where the cooks are French, the police are British, the mechanics are German, the lovers are Italian and everything is organized by the Swiss. Hell is where the Read more

Why Nursery Rhymes Are So Violent


A few months ago, I was teaching my 4-year old nephew some nursery rhymes with a DVD. After a lot of singing, he slowly digested the story that the Read more

Top 10 Worst Things to Say During Sex


Sex is the art of love. It must be done in the most enjoyable and most satisfying manner. This act of love of two naked individuals reminds us that Read more

The Promil Kid Drops the Bomb


Of all the living things created by God, I love my nephew the most. I call him the Promil Kid. He’s the cutest thing. I’ve always written about him Read more

Oh, Men!

Posted on by Yoshke in Blurts, Love, Sex |

…They’re like chocolate cakes, like cigarettes. I know they’re bad for me but I just can’t leave them alone….
— Buses and Trains, Bachelor Girl

Viewed 1466 times by 576 visitors this month

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Movie Review | Gray Matters (2007)

Posted on by Yoshke in Movies, Reviews |

Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director/Writer: Sue Kramer
Stars: Heather Graham, Thomas Cavanagh, Bridget Moynahan

I have to admit that I didn’t really want to watch Gray Matters. I was just about to get tickets for Sunshine when I found out that it was Heather Graham who stars in this lesbian flick. I have always loved Heather Graham since she starred opposite Mike Myers in Austin Powers: The Spy who Shagged Me. She has this irresistible charm that whenever I see her face on a movie poster, I always end up watching that movie. But enough of Heather. Let’s talk about the film —- it was bad.

Yes, if there’s only one word that could best describe Gray Matters, that would be it: bad. As in BAD. But first, what is the film all about? It’s about Gray (Heather Graham) who has a brother, Sam (Thomas Cavanagh), whom she is very close to that they are often mistaken as a couple. Both in their thirties, they live in the same apartment, share secrets, are perfect dance partners, etc. And then they met Charlie (Bridget Moynahan), an oh-so-perfect creature of God — beautiful, sexy, smart, successful, lovable, perfect. After their first date, Sam asked Charlie to marry him and she said “yes.” The night before the wedding, Charlie, drunk and unaware of what she’s doing, kisses Gray and this messes up Gray’s sanity and turns her life inside out. Gray is bothered and has not forgotten about it, and then realises she’s a lesbian… and that she’s madly in love with Charlie.

There you go. Okay, on with the bashing. This movie is writer/director Sue Kramer‘s first. And I just have to say this: if your up & coming movies are all gonna be like this, then please don’t bother us with them anymore. Find another planet and bore them with your crap. The screenplay is trashy and so unrealistic. Getting married after one date? Oh come on. That’s obnoxious. If you want the mainstream audience to relate to this film, you should’ve done better than coming up with that, er, idiocy.

There are many attempts to make the audience laugh (because hey, it’s a comedy) but only a few work because they lack wit and sensibility. And those scenes which turned out to be funny, however, like that frappuccino on the wedding dress scene, are so unoriginal. You see, it’s always either not-funny or funny-but-unoriginal. Plus, the characters all talk like they were writers rejected by every publishing house there is in this world. The script is filled with metaphors that make you go, “huh?”. And they all speak so fast you just want them to shut up.

The cinematography lacks dynamics. (Gawd, I hate the composition of the shots.) The production design is just OK. The editing is average. The only good thing about this ridiculous flick is Heather’s character Gray. She’s the only one that looks and sounds like a human being here. The others are just mere caricatures you barely notice them.

But if you’re gonna watch this film because of the gay/lesbian element, then go ahead. It’s not everyday that a gay film with a happy ending is produced.

But really, this movie is so bad, not even Heather Graham’s charm can save this flick.

1.5 Viewed 891 times by 302 visitors this month

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OUT, You Psycho!

Posted on by Yoshke in Humor, TV |

Warning: If you are someone who loves Maricris of Pinoy Big Brother or if you ARE Maricris, please stop reading, skip this entry, or leave now. Thanks very much.


The Maricris-Beatriz dispute inside the PBB house was priceless. I loved how Bea handled the situation and how she was able to deal with what Andre calls “psychotically violent” Maricris. Winner ka, Bea. Isa kang alamat.

Anyway, that was arguably the most entertaining confrontation inside the big yellow house since the Keanna-Mitch conflict of the Celebrity Edition. You still remember this?

Ang hirap kasi sa’yo, ang KFC mo! Ay, KSP pala.

That was one of Keanna’s glorious moments. Haha. Anyway, Maricris had her share of oh-my-god-what-did-she-say moments. While having that heated argument with Bea, she uttered:

I didn’t that. I didn’t that!

But wait, there’s more. She kept on saying she was calm when she was shouting her lungs out. Calm my ass, you jerk. Haha. And oh, is it just me or she really pronounced honest — HA-nest; and judge — JADS?

And how about Bea? Well, she told Maricris:

Don’t be such a pushy!

I believe the sentence is actually not a sentence yet. Unless, Bea meant… you know… just replace H with another S; starts with a P and sounds like fussy. And yes, that word is sooo Maricris.

Damn, she’s really crazy. Or maybe I just love Bea so much. (She’s my second favourite female housemate. Next to Gee-Ann.)

OUT! You pathetic freak of nature.

[Edit: Naawa naman ako bigla nung lumabas na nga si Maricris sa bahay. Hehehe.]

If you are someone who loves Maricris or if you ARE Maricris, I told you so.
*pictures courtesy of pinoybigbrother.com Viewed 918 times by 338 visitors this month

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Besides a Goodlooking Man…

Posted on by Yoshke in Blurts |

… the only thing I desperately want right now is a round-trip ticket to the Arctic. Gawd, it’s so damn hot. And the news says it’ll still get hotter. These are the days I dislike living in a tropical country. Somebody save me!

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On Big Brother Philippines-Slovenia Swap

Posted on by Yoshke in TV |

Status: Lustful (bleh)
Music: I Can’t Make You Love Me -
Nina

Alright. Last night marked the start of the Big Brother housemate swap between the Philippines and Slovenia when Tina Semolic entered the Pinoy Big Brother house. I may know a lot about Europe but to be honest, it’s only now that an interest in Slovenia sparked somewhere in my body, hehe. Before this swap thing, the only thing about Slovenia that I was aware of was that it’s near Italy, and that it’s official languages are Italian and Hungarian (or whatever Slavic language).

Tina is really pretty. And I don’t think she’d have any problem living in the Philippines for a week. She has a good grasp of the English language and that’s enough for anyone to survive here in this hot country.

What I’m worried about is BruceBig Brother Slovenia, for sure, is more liberated by a lightyear than our very conservative local counterpart. In Europe, sex is something that people are not ashamed of doing, and letting other people know they’re getting some is definitely not something they don’t want to do. Bruce has already entered the house, too. Let’s just keep our fingers crossed wishing that no one would hit on him (which is almost impossible). Hahaha.

And I am more than surprised to learn that the PBB house is way better than the one in Slovenia. It has better facilities, more spacious rooms, and more elegant design. Check out this link to know what I’m talking about.

Anyway, I’m loving Gee-Ann more and more. Face that damn automatic nomination Gee-Ann, and we’ll be here to always save you!!! Hahaha. I’m sad that she decided to give up Pamela and give her to a kid that might be needing Pamela more. But I think this is for Gee-Ann’s maturity and growth. It’s painful but she’ll get over it. And I will, too.

I’ve always said that Wendy is someone I don’t hate or like. But now, aaaaargh! Gawd, does anyone here know how to perform kulam?

*photo courtesy of pinoybigbrother.com Viewed 820 times by 310 visitors this month

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Names and Diplomacy

Posted on by Yoshke in Family, University |

Status: Exhausted
Music: Breakdown
- Mariah Carey (Ate Mimi) feat Bone Thugs

Today is my first niece’s first birthday, and right now they are having a huge party at our place. My niece’s name is Mika Natalia, daughter of my brother. Like my first nephew Yoshke (yes, after myself — sort of), it was me who gave my niece that name but it was a little modified. It should’ve been Mischa Natalya (Russian) but because my sister-in-law didn’t like Mischa, she changed it to Mika — thus, Mika Natalia. Almost parallel to what happened with Yoshke (my nephew, not me). I was asked by my sister to come up with a good name and I offered her Asher Yoshke (Jewish). But my brother in law didn’t like Asher so he changed it to Asheq — ergo, Asheq Yoshke. Gawd, I hate my in-laws. Hahaha. But I’m not gonna talk about that any longer.

It was my first day of my review classes in Ateneo de Manila University last Saturday. I entered the classroom wanting to become a diplomat. When I left that room, the feeling was different. I just don’t want it, I NEED IT. I need to be a diplomat and I will be.

It was really fun. I liked the feeling of waking up early worried about being late. And just like an ordinary / regular first day of school, I was happy making new friends, learning new stuff, and being able to express myself. Not to mention our ambassador-speakers were very cool. Pretty ancient (I mean, old) but still very cool. Lov’em. I learnt enormous amount of information and knowledge from them. They were opinionated (and yes, very politically inclined) yet I could sense how much they really love this country and value the Constitution.

I was a little disappointed, though. I didn’t know that we would be divided into two sections. I think putting us all together in the same room would be much more enjoyable. More classmates, more friends, more fun. There were also more female reviewees. You could just imagine how that made me feel. I felt sooo sad. Haha, just kidding. It really did not matter. There were no cute hommes, anyway (oh yes, that’s another disappointment, hehe).

As usual, I was very timid on the first day so I wouldn’t approach anyone. I just sat there, listened, and took down notes. But after a while, I couldn’t keep it; I just had to release the perky me so I approached my seat mate Helen, very pretty, a UP grad as well, and also very timid, and we started to get along.

Although from the very start, I’ve been aware that there’s not much money in the field of Foreign Service, I was so surprised (more like amazed) with the priveleges and immunities of diplomats that one speaker discussed. Here are a few of them:

[1] They don’t pay taxes.
[2] Their diplomat bags when travelling are not required to go through inspection no matter what happens.
[3] Ambassadors cannot be arrested or detained (in the receiving State) regardless of how heinous the crimes they committed are — even rape or murder.

These are because of the amount of trust that states put on other states and their representatives (ambassadors, consuls, diplomats) that most things are never questioned.

My God, if there’s only one thing that You could give me right now, please let me become a diplomat. That’s all. I won’t ask for a mansion, or a bachelor pad, or a Jaguar. Please… please…. Gawd, puhleezz. Viewed 983 times by 311 visitors this month

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My Good Friday Glory

Posted on by Yoshke in Celebrities, Hotties |

Status: Shakin’
Music: The Boss
- Chris Richardson

As part of my usual visita iglesia, I visited the Caleruega chapel in Nasugbu, Batangas. I thought it would just be another Good Friday but hell, it was better than any Good Friday in my life. Haha. What’s the reason? It’s not really what. It’s who. Dennis Trillo. Yep, Dennis Trillo was there in the same chapel as I was, saying his prayers with us.

Dennis Trillo is one of the most important actors of his generation. Tez Cruz and Kriz Gazmen will surely agree with me. But if our claim is not enough, there are a number of awards to support this. Anyway, I’m not posting this entry just because I saw him last Holy Week. Nah. I’m a fan (but not as huge a fan as Kriz who believes that Dennis is the centre of the solar system). In fact, I’ve always told Andre that the most beautiful face in local showbiz industry today is Dennis’s. And Andre usually blocks that statement in our conversation by saying “Oh, but he’s short,” which is true.

I remember Dennis’s first significant role: Bea Alonzo‘s love interest on the short-lived youth-oriented series K2BU. And then, as Luis Alandy‘s bestfriend in a Claudine Barretto starrer teleserye “Sa Dulo ng Walang Hanggan.” The next thing I knew, he signed a contract under GMA7, although I didn’t like the idea, I thought it was a pretty wise move. The second guy in Mulawin. Angel Locsin‘s leading man in Darna. One of Majika‘s lead stars. The gorgeous Super Twins’s mentor. And not to mention his cross-dressing gay guy role in Aishite Imasu, which made the critics see that he’s not just a popular actor but a good one, grabbing awards one after another. And oh, he’s now a recording artist, too!

Dennis has come a long way from doing tiny roles to being one of the most popular male stars in showbiz. And with that intense sex appeal and good looks, matched with pure talent, he’s surely here to stay.

*Photo courtesy of accesspinoy.net and pinoypride galleries Viewed 1734 times by 558 visitors this month

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Protected: Give Me a Hand

Posted on by Yoshke in Sex |

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I Saw a Star Praying

Posted on by Yoshke in Family, Oddities, Travel |

Status: Gluttonous
Music: Dangerously in Love
- Beyonce

Just like every Holy Week, I did a little visita iglesia yesterday (Good Friday) with my family. Again, I’m not a Christian but my family are. I’ve been schlepping myself lately on the road to Christianity but it’s really hard to force myself to have faith in Jesus Christ again. But so as not to disappoint my mum, I joined my family visit one church after another. It wasn’t that difficult actually, because I usually enjoy travelling. And we do this every year so I kinda get the hang of it.

Our first stop yesterday was Caleruega in Nasugbu, Batangas. This is one of my favourite churches — I like it better than the gigantic Basilica of San Martin de Tours in Taal. Maybe because of its location. Caleruega is on top of a hill. Very windy. Lots of flowers. More like a park than a church, actually.

Anyway, there was nothing spectacular that happened yesterday… other than Dennis Trillo was there, saying his prayers with us, in the same chapel. It was funny because I knew everyone recognised him yet no one, even the people nearest him, dared to approach him because hey, we were there to pray to God and not worship some star.

But damn, he was really cute.

*photo courtesy of imagesphilippines.com Viewed 1577 times by 548 visitors this month

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The Ratings Game: The Nationwide Invasion

Posted on by Yoshke in Lists, TV |

Status: Need to pee!
Music:
Beautiful Disaster - Kelly Clarkson

My friends have always considered me as a true-blue kapamilya. The truth is: I still believe that being loyal to a TV network per se is crazy. As for my case, believe it or not, I go for the station that gives me the better programs — and yes, for me, that’s ABS-CBN as of the moment.

It’s been a while since ABS-CBN claimed that they’re the leading broadcast network. That’s because, for the longest time, AGB-Nielsen could only measure the viewership in Mega Manila (Metro Manila and the suburbs). And GMA7 consistently is the top network in this area until now. And then came the nationwide urban ratings — the NUTAM (National Urban Television Audience Measurement). And that’s a different story.

In the latest official national ratings, ABS-CBN has a very comfortable lead (12%; ABS-CBN 47%, GMA7 35%) proving that it is the most-watched TV channel nationwide. Fifteen in the Top 20 programs are also kapamilya shows. To see what Vice-President Charo Santos-Concio had to say about this, click this link.

Anyway, here’s the Top 20 Programs according to NUTAM (March 4-17, 2007):

1. Sana Maulit Muli (ABS-CBN) 34.9%
2. Maging Sino Ka Man (ABS-CBN) 33.5%
3. TV Patrol World (ABS-CBN) 31.6%
4. Komiks: The Adventures of Pedro Penduko (ABS-CBN) 30.4%
5. XXX (ABS-CBN) 29.4%
6. Maria Flordeluna (ABS-CBN) 28.9%
7. Asian Treasures (GMA) 28.5%
8. Super Twins (GMA) 28.2%
9. Rated K: Handa na ba Kayo? (ABS-CBN) 27.8%
10. Wowowee (ABS-CBN) 27.7%
11. John en Shirley (ABS-CBN) 27.6%
12. Bakekang (GMA) 26.8%
13. Pinoy Big Brother: Saturday (ABS-CBN) 25.8%
14. Maala-ala Mo Kaya (ABS-CBN) 25.4%
15. Pinoy Big Brother: Sunday (ABS-CBN) 25.3%
16. Kapuso Mo, Jessica Soho (GMA) 24.9%
17. Pinoy Big Brother: Weekdays (ABS-CBN) 24.5%
18. Goin’ Bulilit (ABS-CBN) 24.2%
19. Sharon (ABS-CBN) 23.5%
20. 24 Oras (GMA) 22.8%

So there. The only things that make me happy in this list are PBB and Maging Sino Ka Man.

*Picture courtesy of ewankojohn of peyups.com Viewed 913 times by 323 visitors this month

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