A Break-up Letter


I never expected I'd be writing you this letter. We've had six years of wonderful memories but I'm afraid it had come to the point where you started to Read more

The New Yoshke.com


New look. New attitude. New experiences. Honestly, I had been neglecting this blog the past few weeks because of my awfully hectic schedule. Work had been unforgiving on weekdays and Read more

Sometimes We Burn to Live


Whenever I meet people for the first time, it always happens. When they start their sentence with "I hope you don't mind me asking but," I know they are going Read more

Fireworks, Hormones, and this Blog Post


You remember last week when I told you I found it difficult to blog since I met you? Since we became a couple officially, I have not had enough Read more

Do They Read Blogs in Heaven?


Whenever I say that the earliest memory I have is the accident wherein I had my left arm somewhat toasted, I lie. My earliest memory is, in fact, months Read more

Unusual Breakfast


Here we are again. In the usual corner. Usual table. Usual diner. Usual time. And most probably, usual meal. I'm getting tired of this really. Everything's a routine. And Read more

Top 10 National Stereotypes


Heaven is where the cooks are French, the police are British, the mechanics are German, the lovers are Italian and everything is organized by the Swiss. Hell is where the Read more

Why Nursery Rhymes Are So Violent


A few months ago, I was teaching my 4-year old nephew some nursery rhymes with a DVD. After a lot of singing, he slowly digested the story that the Read more

Top 10 Worst Things to Say During Sex


Sex is the art of love. It must be done in the most enjoyable and most satisfying manner. This act of love of two naked individuals reminds us that Read more

The Promil Kid Drops the Bomb


Of all the living things created by God, I love my nephew the most. I call him the Promil Kid. He’s the cutest thing. I’ve always written about him Read more

•••••

Someone’s Moving to Isabela

Posted on August 13, 2010 by Yoshke in Hotties, Humor, Videos, Web |

This post is going to be short. I’m in a hurry.

Last week, one of my friends posted this video on Facebook and it’s just so hilarious that I want to share this with all of you. When I saw that it was 7 minutes long, I thought I would not be able to finish watching it but these two guys are just so fun to watch.

This is a video of Turock (Tory) and Jason who have been running a taxi in Isabela, Philippines over the past year. They are Americans who lost their jobs in their homeland and decided to move to the Philippines and start a new job — taxi service. This video was shot last year and it is a short documentation of their very first run.

Their taxi runs from Isabela all the way to Cagayan. According to the description of this YouTube video: Their route starts in Santiago but makes stops in Alicia, Cauayan, Ilagan and Tuguegarao. And they only charge P30 per trip.

So, here’s the video:

I’m not sure whether what made me watch the whole thing was curiosity or lust. Aren’t they cute? And lovely? And funny? I’m in love. Haha.

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Yoshke is Evil | The Beef-Forcing Cashier

Posted on August 9, 2010 by Yoshke in Conversations, Personal Life, Rants, Vanities |

This  is a part of the Yoshke is Evil series, in which I will narrate incidents where I thought I was inconsiderate, hateful or evil. This incident happened two years ago and I still can’t get this out of my head.

Midnight. I had been studying for hours with a friend at Gloria Jean’s Café in Tomas Morato when I felt hungry so we decided to move to a Chinese fast food restaurant across the street for a few minutes. I was smilingly greeted by a female cashier who was ready to take my order. There was something weird about her smile, I could tell. It was like she was tired or unhappy.

Yoshke: Pork Chao Fan with pork siomai, pork tofu, and large pineapple juice. Dine in.
Cashier: OK sir, that’s pork chao fan with pork siomai, pork tofu, and pineapple juice large for dine in.
Yoshke: Yep!
Cashier: Sir, just to confirm, it’s pork siomai, right?
Yoshke: Yes, pork. Right.

So she started pressing away and then she fetched my order. I looked at my siomai and found them darker than usual.

Yoshke: Miss, I think this is beef siomai. I wanted my siomai pork.
Cashier: Oh, sorry sir. Yeah, you said pork siomai, sorry.

And then she just stood there for several seconds, perhaps thinking of what to do next. She then turned to me and asked:

Cashier: Sir, wouldn’t you like beef siomai, instead? I already punched it by mistake…
Yoshke: No, I want pork siomai.
Cashier: Sir, please. They taste exactly the same, anyway.
Yoshke: Miss, I don’t eat beef siomai. I don’t eat beef at all. I wish I did so you wouldn’t need to have my order voided but I really don’t eat beef. Since childhood.
Cashier: Sir, perhaps your friend is going to order beef siomai.

So I asked my friend. She had no interest in my beef siomai because she was on a vegetarian diet that night and she would just order black gulaman.

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Protected: A Short Film | Sangang Daan (Intersection)

Posted on August 6, 2010 by Yoshke in Films |

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Yoshke is Evil | The Guard in our Building

Posted on August 2, 2010 by Yoshke in Humor, Personal Life, Rants |

I am a good person. At least I think so. I always believe in the good in people. I have faith in a person’s goodness until he proves otherwise. I think I’m kind. I think I’m compassionate. I think I’m helpful. I mean, unlike some people, I wanted to become a diplomat because I actually, genuinely, sincerely, honestly believe in peace and that I had something to contribute to promote it. I donate to charity twice a year. I stand by my friends. I make sure things are fair as far as I could. I like goodwill. So yeah, I think I’m a good person.

Usually, that is.

Sometimes, I question it. Yeah, especially at rare times when I’m orchestrating my plans for revenge retributon justice. Or at rare times I sin in the name of equality or fairness. Or at times I just want to make fun of something… or someone. Or when I scream “Bitch” at a stranger in a very public place. But that’s about it, nothing harmful. Haha.

But there have been a few occasions where I doubted my goodness. I mean really doubted it. They say we all have an evil bone inside of us. And now, the following few posts are some incidents in which I felt that it was the only bone I have left. Here’s the first installment of the “Yoshke is Evil” series.


THE GUARD IN OUR BUILDING

I moved in to my condo building more than a year ago. In my first few months living here, there was a particular guard stationed at the entrance of our tower who always blocked me from entering, asking for my ID and the my unit number. In the first several days, I let it go. After all, it was normal. But then, months into my contract, he still continued doing it and it had become the most annoying thing.

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Top 20 Funniest Filipino Like Pages on Facebook | Part 2

Posted on July 29, 2010 by Yoshke in Humor, Lists, Web |

In May 2010, I posted the first half of my list of the 20 funniest Pinoy like pages on Facebook. Two months later, I think it’s high time to post the other half. I actually forgot about it, LOL.

Again, this list is personal. This is a list of Filipino fan pages that cracked me up big time. If your favorite pages were not able to make this list, comment and post the link so I could check it out and come up with another compilation.

If you missed the first part of this list, you can find it here. So here we go.

10. HINDI PORKET MAY DSLR KA, PHOTOGRAPHER KA NA!

WINNER!!! Haha. This was probably the first Pinoy statement fan page that I came across with. Well, it’s true but I don’t really see anything wrong with it. I love that Filipinos now love photography with a passion. It’s better that most of us is into the arts than drugs. But yeah, it’s funny.

9. HINDI PORKE TAGA-ABS-CBN AKO, PWEDE KITANG IPASOK SA SHOWTIME, WOWOWEE AT ASAP!

I find this funny because I have a lot of friends working with ABS-CBN and this is usually what they complain about. LOL. I spend most of my internship days at ABS-CBN (Star Cinema to be specific) and yeah, when people hear you work for ABS, they ask you for these things. I guess it happens to GMA7 employees, too.

8. Nag-Group Message ka pa isa lang naman gusto mong magreply

Lahat ng guilty, taas ang kamay! Yun lang. Hahahahahahaha. Syet, ang haba nung tawa ko.

Meron pang kunyari eh group message pero isang tao lang naman yung tinext. O kaya eh kunyari wrong send pero sinadya naman talaga. O kaya kunyari may school-related na itatanong gusto lang naman lumandi. UMAMIN NA!!!

7. Ang Hilig Mo Sa Gwapo/Maganda… Ang PANGIT Mo Naman!

Eh ano naman, walang pakialamanan. Haha. Tinamaan daw? LOL

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The Road to Death

Posted on July 26, 2010 by Yoshke in Family, Public Affairs, Rants, The World |

This is our home in Batangas. And this road in front of it is part of the national highway connecting the Batangan towns of Lemery and Balayan — also known as the Road to Death. This part of the road in the picture is just before the crossing that connects this highway to another highway leading to Tagaytay City in Cavite, and if you go farther, Manila.

Given these facts, you can just imagine how busy it is. When I’m home, I always have to close the windows tight so the noise could not distract me from doing my usual activities comprised mainly of watching TV and err… watching TV. Open the window a little bit and your viewing experience is ruined. This explains why almost every room in our house is air-conditioned.

But the noise is not what makes this part of the road earn its name “The Road to Death.”

The noise is tolerable. It’s been there before us so we have no right to complain. What’s relatively new is the long island in the middle of the road. It was added to this wide street perhaps four years ago, making both of its sides narrower. What they failed to install in addition was a light post. You see, at night, this little road island is invisible. And because it is part of the national highway and may even be the only part of the highway in 5km radius with a concrete island or anything protruding from the ground, motorists are always caught off-guard. Ergo, ACCIDENTS.

As a matter of fact, every time I spend the weekend in our Batangas house (which is every three weeks), I always witness road accidents in this area. The culprit — you bet it’s that damn island. Most of the time, motorcycle drivers fall victim. Sometimes, bigger vehicles. I have seen a truck carrying hundreds of chickens tumble over here. There was even an incident where a truck containing inflammable content having the same fate — my neighbors were all in panic.

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God, I Miss Boy Bands!

Posted on July 16, 2010 by Yoshke in Celebrities, Entertainment, Music |

I was just browsing songs on my iPod and I realized that I just miss the boy band era. Haha. I know boy band songs are like 300 different cheesy cheeses rolled into four minutes of music but hey, they are catchy as hell. And damn romantic, too.

I particularly liked the following boy bands and these songs:

  • 98 Degrees — The Hardest Thing, Invisible Man
  • A1 - Same Old Brand New You, Caught in the Middle
  • BBMak — Back Here, Still on Your Side
  • Blue – If You Come Back, Too Close
  • BoyZone – I Love the Way You Love Me, Baby Can I Hold You
  • Code Red — What Good is a Heart, This is Our Song
  • Five – Until the Time is Through, Keep on Movin
  • LFO – Girl on TV, Summer Girls
  • NSync - Bye Bye Bye, Gone
  • O-Town – Liquid Dreams, All or Nothing
  • Westlife – Flying Without Wings, Swear it Again

No, I didn’t forget the Backstreet Boys. I just didn’t like them that much. Haha.

But if I were to pick just one, I’d say Blue. But I really, really love BBMak’s “Back Here” and LFO’s “Girl on TV.”

So now, I decided to write the Top 10 Boy Bands that we really, really miss. And I want to know who your choices are. Let me ask you this, which boy band was your favorite? Yeah, yeah, you can say Hanson. Mmmbop.

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How to Kill Cockroaches the Funny Way

Posted on July 10, 2010 by Yoshke in How To, Humor, University |

My college friends and I used to have a barkada forum and a blog. We used to post there absolutely anything that we could think of. Simple things like our dreams. Crazy things like our own dictionary. And weird things like how we prefer to kill cockroaches when we see one.

image courtesy of www.lifehackery.com

One of my college friends called my attention to a certain blog post we posted back in the day. I’d actually forgotten about it already. But now that I’m reading it again, I just can’t help laughing. And I’m sharing it with you. However, I apologize to all my Pinoy readers as some parts are in Tagalog and I kept it that way. Translating it would just ruin it.

HOW TO TORTURE AN IPIS
by Pam Condeno

1. Pour Green Cross alcohol.

2. Get encyclopedia and drop it right on the target. Make sure it finds itself in a very AWKWARD situation where it will render itself confused, disturbed, and a bit in a vertigo state.

3. Make sure when it flies, you have an alcohol with you and swish it to make it pilay.

HOW TO KILL IPIS (especially with wings)
by KZ Ottara

1. Camouflage with the wall

2. Grab a slipper

3. ATTACK!!!

4. Step on the slipper to make piga

5. LEAVE OVERNIGHT FOR MORE FLAVOR!

HOW TO KILL COCKROACHES IN DIFFERENT PARTS OF THE HOUSE
by Reen Ladignon

1. Slam foot on ipis. (Said foot should be wearing a shoe or slipper.)

2. If ipis is on wall, take off shoe or slipper and make sapak the ipis.

3. If ipis is on kisame, get walis and swish at the ipis to make it fall down. Then proceed to number 1 or 2.

4. If Reen sees ipis while she is washing dishes outside their house, then she makes squirt-squirt it with dishwashing liquid and pours the dirty water on it. See them scatter. If ipis crawls near the hand, grab the nearest kawali and slap it on the ipis. Do nothing if it crawls down the drain.

5. If ipis is flying, grab a Baygon can and spray mercilessly towards the ipis. You will be momentarily disgusted at seeing the legs of the ipis in all their glory nearing toward you—but then you will soon have the satisfaction seeing the ipis make gewang-gewang as it falls to the ground.

All done while screaming like a headless chicken.

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ProActiv Solution Review: It Works For Me!

Posted on July 10, 2010 by Yoshke in Health, Vanities |

Two months ago, I posted an entry about me just about to try the ProActiv Solution that my colleague had given me. Let’s look back at my situation last May.

The Problem. My nasty skin. Pimples seem to run in the family as my dad had this problem, too, when he was alive. My skin seemed to produce more oil than Saudi Arabia. My pimples looked like they were aiming for the Swarm badge on Foursquare — the venue, my face. I’ve tried everything. With the help of a dermatologist, it subsided a little but proved to be more than I can afford. I was also taking isotane (an oral medication) but I had to give up alcohol to avoid the side effects.

The Challenge. For two months, I’d use ProActiv Solution. Within this period, I won’t visit my dermatologist and refuse any treatment. I’d also stop taking Isotane and quit using the other products I had been using. For two months, it would just be me, ProActiv and my proactive pimples.

And now, the result.

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Who Ate the Tiramisu?

Posted on July 6, 2010 by Yoshke in Conversations, Friends, Humor, Mysteries, University |

I don’t think I’ll ever forget this story.

When we were in senior year, my college friends and I just loved staying at my friend Ayn’s place. The house is along Banawe St. in Quezon City and it was our favorite place to just chill-out, study, work on our group projects, shoot films, and just kill time. We always went there in a group.

image courtesy of Lis Parsons of www.dailymail.co.uk

Why that place? Because it’s so big with seven rooms, far from buzzkill neighbors, the design is ideal for parties, and the best of all, NO PARENTS. Ayn lives with only her sister, who is the type who asks you, “Hey, when is your next party here? I have some spare beer in the fridge.” That’s the kind of sister you wanna have.

Anyway, one time, Ayn was telling us the WHOLE DAY about the cake she had at home. Being someone who is allergic to anything (or anyone) sweet, Ayn offered, “Guys, we have tiramisu at home. You might want to come over and have some. It’s just me and the maid at home these days and we can’t possibly devour it all.“

As much as we’d love to make love with her tiramisu, her house was just too far from the university. It’s a nice place to party but you won’t really drive or commute all the way to that other end of the city just to have cake, when there’s a  bakeshop in Philcoa. Besides, it was thesis season. Everyone was a worker bee.

So no one really went over to Ayn’s place and touched that tiramisu. Poor cake.

A week passed and while all of us were killing time, thinking of something to do, somebody teased Ayn that maybe she had another tiramisu cake that she would love to share since we were not busy anymore.

“Funny you mentioned it,” Ayn said. “It was just so weird. A few days ago, I was gonna have tiramisu so I opened the ref but was shocked to find there was none of it left. So I asked Ate Tessie. I asked her where the cake was. She said that one of my friends ate it.“

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