A Break-up Letter


I never expected I'd be writing you this letter. We've had six years of wonderful memories but I'm afraid it had come to the point where you started to Read more

The New Yoshke.com


New look. New attitude. New experiences. Honestly, I had been neglecting this blog the past few weeks because of my awfully hectic schedule. Work had been unforgiving on weekdays and Read more

Sometimes We Burn to Live


Whenever I meet people for the first time, it always happens. When they start their sentence with "I hope you don't mind me asking but," I know they are going Read more

Fireworks, Hormones, and this Blog Post


You remember last week when I told you I found it difficult to blog since I met you? Since we became a couple officially, I have not had enough Read more

Do They Read Blogs in Heaven?


Whenever I say that the earliest memory I have is the accident wherein I had my left arm somewhat toasted, I lie. My earliest memory is, in fact, months Read more

Unusual Breakfast


Here we are again. In the usual corner. Usual table. Usual diner. Usual time. And most probably, usual meal. I'm getting tired of this really. Everything's a routine. And Read more

Top 10 National Stereotypes


Heaven is where the cooks are French, the police are British, the mechanics are German, the lovers are Italian and everything is organized by the Swiss. Hell is where the Read more

Why Nursery Rhymes Are So Violent


A few months ago, I was teaching my 4-year old nephew some nursery rhymes with a DVD. After a lot of singing, he slowly digested the story that the Read more

Top 10 Worst Things to Say During Sex


Sex is the art of love. It must be done in the most enjoyable and most satisfying manner. This act of love of two naked individuals reminds us that Read more

The Promil Kid Drops the Bomb


Of all the living things created by God, I love my nephew the most. I call him the Promil Kid. He’s the cutest thing. I’ve always written about him Read more

» andre

Batangas: Rediscovering My Hometown

Posted on by Yoshke in Travel |

“You’re the weirdest Batangueno I have ever met!” declared my friend Andre after learning that I didn’t know how to swim. We were on the way home.

“Wow, jumping to conclusions,” I objected.

“Well, for starters, you don’t have the accent,” he explained. “Batangas is known for beaches and dive sites; you don’t even know how to swim. Batangas produces the best beef in the country; you dislike beef. Batangas is home to kapeng barako; you’re not a coffee fan. You haven’t even been to the Taal Volcano.”

Hmmm. As hard as it was to admit, he was right. (Except for the coffee part. I love Kapeng Barako.)

But that single declaration from a friend who always told me the most brutally honest words had a huge effect on me. It got me thinking about and reflecting on my being Batangueno. I always say that I am a proud Batangueno but  I started to wonder how much of Batangas I had explored, how much of the culture I truly appreciated, and how much of our heritage and history I was familiar with.

Asia's largest basilica — Basilica de San Martin de Tours in Taal, Batangas

Cape Santiago Lighthouse in Calatagan

I spent most of my life in Batangas, in the small town of Lemery. I had traveled to many islands in the country, from Ilocos to General Santos, and even abroad a couple of times. Admittedly, other than neighboring Balayan, Calaca, Lian, and Taal, I had not “experienced” other parts of my home province.  Such a shame.

After that conversation with Andre, I quietly planned a trip to Batangas. I wanted to see, really see, and experience other municipalities and cities, not just the usual passing-through journey. One weekend. A good start. And so it happened.

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Keeping Them Straight

Posted on by Yoshke in Conversations, Gay, Humor |

“What’s wrong with me?” cried Celine, a friend and colleague. Moments earlier, she mastered the art of using all the functional muscles on her face to signal that there was a hot, goodlooking male behind me. Drowning in excitement and a deadly sin, she watched the guy behind me like she was ready to mate.

“Yeah, he was behind me in the queue earlier. He’s tall. He smelled really nice.” I told her. “And he’s gay.”

“No, he’s not.” First stage of grief, denial.

“Don’t you sense it?” I added. “Look at their body language, Celine. The other guy is his boyfriend.”

“Really? That‘s his boyfriend?”

I nodded.

“Really?! THAT GUY??! With THAT face?” Second stage of grief, anger.

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Thanks, Philippine Blog Awards 2010!

Posted on by Yoshke in Career, Euphoria, News |

I woke up this morning coughing my lungs out, wondering whether last night was real or not. A few moments later, my hubby greeted me good morning and congrats. I figured, it was real. I hurried to the kitchen to get a glass of water and I saw three trophies on the drawer. One of my other housemates, Dane, congratulated me. Alright, alright, it was real.

image courtesy of Ian Velasco

So last night, I won in 3 categories at the Philippine Blog Awards 2010:

Last night was a little blurry. I barely remember anything. In fact, my Sunday was pretty uneventful until that night. My asthma surely knows perfect timing and does it well. The past weekend, breathing normally has been such a chore. But I don’t have a choice, do I? Yesterday morning, I decided I won’t be attending. My KJ lungs just won’t let me.

I wish I could just take a dose of my anti-asthma medication but its side effects are nasty. I shake, feel weak and get giddy and hyper every time I’m on it. I spent the whole morning working on my travel blogs. My friends kept on insisting that I attend the event but I didn’t wanna risk it. It was only around 6pm that I started feeling a little better.

At around 7:30pm, after reading a whole bunch of posts about the Sarah Geronimo-Cristine Reyes skirmish, I decided to go. I knew I was already late but what the heck. I dressed up, took the bus and entered RCBC building. Hello, Philippine Blog Awards.

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Dump Your Guy, Date Andre

Posted on by Yoshke in Conversations, Friends, Humor |

The last time I featured Andre and his crazy antics on this blog was in December last year when I posted about Pasay City. A lot has changed since then. For starters, we are now working with the same company. And we’re not just officemates, we’re also in the same team. We’re also housemates. So you can just imagine how many doses of major major “crazy” I get from him every day.

Well, Andre is single. Very much so. And if you’re looking for a witty, brilliant, vibrant young guy who can brighten up your day with just a few words, Andre is for you. (OMG I sound like a pimp.) But hey, seriously, he’s a catch. And if you’re looking, drop a comment because he is looking, too. He has been looking. For a long time. Very long time. Very, very long time. Please guys, somebody just take him! It’s such a looong time already. LOL.

And much like the Promil Kid, Andre is actually a most-requested on this blog. So here’s a piece of him. Reasons why Andre is the perfect guy for you. Take it, take it. (Batteries Sold Separately.)

ANDRE IS CHARITABLE.

Andre and I were walking  to our apartment building when we spotted this goodlooking guy having lunch at a carinderia near our place. He squeezed my arm. (That’s a sign of Andre having a chuvachoo-choo moment. Not that chuvachoo-choo means love; it could be just libog for all we know.)

Andre: OMG, Yoshke. Look over there.
Yoshke: Yeah, he’s cute.
Andre: Eeeeeh.
Yoshke: But he’s kinda not your market. You know, social class-wise.
Andre: True. Pero di ba? Siya yung tipong OK lang saken. OK lang saken na gamitin nya ako. Parang gusto ko syang iahon sa kahirapan. Syeeet. Bibigyan ko sya ng pangkabuhayan showcase a la Wowowee!

ANDRE IS ALWAYS LOOKING FOR OPPORTUNITIES

Shy Guy, Andre and I were having dinner when Shy Guy mentioned that from his office, they could see Jake Cuenca’s jaw dropping I-want-to-be-a-pair-of-briefs-someday billboard for Bench Uncut.

Shy Guy: Andre, di ba gusto mo si Jake Cuenca?
Andre: Haynaku, tinatanong pa ba yun?
Yoshke: Honga, eh di ba iniiyakan nya si Jake Cuenca.
Shy Guy: Matutuwa ka sa office namin. Mula sa cafeteria namin, kita namin yung billboard ni Jake Cuenca.
Andre: OMG OMG OMG! May job opening ba sa inyo? Kahit anong trabaho.
Yoshke: Haha, I thought you’re very happy with your job.
Andre: Eeeh, with Jake there, I could be happier!

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Yoshke’s Weekend in Bohol in 4 Minutes

Posted on by Yoshke in Blurts, Travel, Videos |

Hi guys, just sharing how my weekend went told in images in less than 4 minutes to the tune of Christina Aguilera’s MONDAY MORNING from the deluxe edition of her fourth studio album Bionic. (Haha. Sorry for plugging.)

I’ll be narrating what happened on my Bohol trip in detail soon. I just need to find time as I’ve been awfully busy. And oh by the way, I did not drop any of my four trips the past month. So now I’m tired, broke, and my skin is freakin’ flakin’. Sunog na sunog. LOL.

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Pahiyas Festival 2010: Of Veggies, Colors and Cute Boys

Posted on by Yoshke in Travel |

Cute boys?!?!

Oh yeah, you read it right. The entire time we were joining the festivities, my friend Andre and I were “birdwatching,” spotting one cute guy after another. Lucban locals are wildly attractive. But of course, I can only look. I’m married so I left all the touching with Andre. Haha.


Anyway, after so much thinking, I finally decided to go on a trip with my officemates to Lucban, Quezon for the annual Pahiyas Festival. And it was a good decision. Despite the awful traffic, we still managed to have the most awesome time together.

The first thing I said to myself upon setting foot on the town was “OMG, I belong.” This festival was so visually stereotypically gay. You know, the rainbow colors, the decorations. I feel like if I die and I get reincarnated into a Philippine Festival, I’m sooo gonna be Pahiyas. I mean, come on, just look at this blog’s color palette. Makulay ang buhay dahil sa mga nakasabit na gulay.

Speaking of gulay, the second thing I said to myself was, “Gosh, what’s gonna happen to these veggies after the festival?” Seriously, I felt hurt for the vegetables, they were like cute boyfriends, you just display them, take pictures of them, parade them and then once the merriment subsides, what now? Please don’t tell me these veggies were headed to the dumpsite. Poor veggies. They sacrificed their lives. Haha, I’m being melodramatic here.

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This is My Birthday Post

Posted on by Yoshke in Blurts, Vanities |


Me with my cousins. Second pic: Yep, that’s me, leftmost. Gawd, I’ve just noticed that I was holding a green sausage-shaped balloon. Was that a sign? A foreshadowing? Haha.

Exactly a year ago, Shy Guy took me to Tagaytay. There was dinner by the cliff, a lot of long conversations. a lot of romantic walks, and more. The night before that, my friends threw a marshmallow party for me.

Two years ago, my family had a little dinner party. We invited some relatives and friends and had some fun. But that’s about it. Nothing really special.

Four years ago, I was so sick. But I was able to travel from Batangas to Manila, and meet some of my friends at the university. I planned to watch Pride and Prejudice with Josh, but I backed out the last minute because my body couldn’t withstand my aching joints and terrible fever. When I felt a little better hours later, I decided to just push through with the movie thing but because Josh couldn’t make it that night, Andre joined me instead. We spent the rest of the night at Figaro.

Five years ago, Josh gave me a Kitchie Nadal album, and we had lunch at Oz Cafe — my treat. We stayed there longer than we intended to. That night, I had dinner with Ayn. I can’t remember where, but I know I gave her a treat.

Eight years ago, I saw a movie in a theatre in Lemery with my girlfriend back then, Michi, and some of my friends. Again, I can’t remember what movie we watched that day. But I know I was really, really happy. (It was Pearl Harbor pala.)

Fourteen years ago, my mum threw a very lavish party for me at our place in Batangas. Most of my classmates and teachers were present. It was one of the most expensive parties my mum had ever thrown.

Twenty-four years ago, a midwife was pulling me out of my mother’s womb as my Daddy watched. It was a very bloody day.

Yep! Today I turned 24! Happy Birthday to ME!

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And That’s the Bottom Line!

Posted on by Yoshke in Conversations, Friends, Humor |

Here are some completely innocent statements but my friends’ dirty minds tell them otherwise.

SANAY NA

One very toxic night, I had been editing political ads on my laptop with my small marketing teammates at our apartment FOR HOURS. My friends Dohna, Dane, and Frances were sitting on the airbed while I was on the stairs facing a chair where the laptop was on. There was just no place in the mattress left so I had to sit on the bottom step of the staircase despite the discomfort.

Dohna grew concerned about my situation so she asked, “Yoshke, masakit ba?”

And without thinking, I replied, “Hindi naman. Sanay na ang pwet ko.”

Everyone burst into laughter. I meant I got used to being seated for hours.

PUMAPASOK

Frances, Dohna, Asta, JT, Maikel and I were at Starbucks Shangri-la last Thursday night when we agreed to exchange horror stories. Frances was narrating a horrifying encounter when they stayed in Baguio a few years ago, wherein an old lady was torturing her in her sleep but she was awake and she couldn’t move. More like a case of sleep paralysis.

Frances narrated, “Tapos hindi talaga ako makagalaw. Tapos gusto kong sumigaw pero hindi ko magawa, walang lumalabas na boses. Tapos weird, ang hirap ng i-explain. Alam nyo yung feeling na may malaking bagay na pumapasok sa katawan mo?

“Oo, alam ko ang feeling nang may malaking bagay na pumapasok sa katawan ko,” I interrupted.

Everyone gave me a look as if saying “You ruined dinner.” Sorry naman. She asked! I just answered. I meant I had the same sleep paralysis experience.

HINDI QUALIFIED

While preparing dinner at the condo a few months ago.

Andre: Pag nagkaroon ng Top Chef Philippines, parang ang sarap sumali. Kaso hindi ako qualified.
Yoshke: Bakit naman?
Andre: Hindi kasi ako “top.”

He meant he’s not that experienced a cook!

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Pasaway sa Pasay

Posted on by Yoshke in Conversations, Friends, Humor |

Vice President wannabe Jejomar Binay’s Ganito Kami sa Makati promotional ad-slash-political ad in disguise says a lot about the city he’s running. Whether it’s true or not, I think Makati is one of those cities in Metro Manila that project a relatively positive image to the public. But how about the others?

It’s actually quite funny what kind of impressions some cities have on people. For example, I’m sure you have heard people making fun of Malabon and its Venice-like situation, except devoid of all grandeur. Or how many of us still associate the entire Muntinlupa with New Bilibid Prison as though the prison is all there is in the city.

This post isn’t about Makati, Malabon, or Muntinlupa. It’s about another city in the southern part of the metropolis — Pasay City.

I’ve been told a number of times about the city’s reputation. For example, when I’m going to Pasay and I’m asking my mom or my friends for directions, they would insist that I do not go alone or that I do not bring any valuables. Even my dear  friends from Pasay tell me how frustrated they are with how things go, especially how things are being run.

Is Pasay really that bad? I’m asking coz the only parts of Pasay I go to frequently are the SM Mall of Asia area, DFA, and MRT Taft station.

Here are some instances in which I thought Pasay was used by people around me for their random display of sense of humor.

ANYTHING GOES

Fresh from iBlog Mini at World Trade Center a few weeks ago, Andre and I decided to proceed to SM Mall of Asia to check out the new line of hoodies at Fox Men. We didn’t know where the jeepney terminal was so we started looking for it.

Andre: I don’t think it’s here. Maybe it’s over there?
Yoshke: But we have to cross the road to go there.
Andre: So let’s cross, come on.
Yoshke: Err, wait. Can we? This may be a no-jaywalking zone.
Andre: Yoshke, duh? This is Pasay. There are no rules!

A TALE OF A MISSING COMB

“Where the hell is my comb?!”

Debbie had spent minutes trying to find her comb in the office. This happened two years ago, I was a web writer then. Debbie misplaced her comb and she just could not find it in her cubicle. Out of utter frustration, she talked to herself like she normally did.

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Andre and the Comedienne: Good Looks Chronicles

Posted on by Yoshke in Celebrities, Conversations, Friends |

It’s been a while since I posted conversations with Andre. We don’t spend that much time together anymore even though we’re now housemates. Ironic, yeah?

BLIND SPOT

While walking around at a mall:

Yoshke: Uy, nakita mo yung nakasalubong natin? Grabe, he was checking you out! Tingin sya nang tingin sayo!
Andre: Ah talaga? Hindi ko nakita! Gwapo?
Yoshke: Err… Hinde.
Andre: Aaaah… kaya hindi ko nakita.

Aba, may selective blindness!

TOP 3

Shy Guy: Uy Andre, may papakilala ako sa’yo na officemate. Gwapo. Eto Facebook nya.
Andre: Oh sige sige.

Shy Guy showed Andre  the guy’s Facebook profile.

Andre: Ay, bet ko na yan!
Shy Guy: Kaso drop out sya ng UST.
Andre: Ay OK lang yun, drop out din naman ako.
Shy Guy: Eh UP ka naman.
Andre: True. At least kahit drop out ako, yung school ko ay nasa top 3!
Yoshke: Top 3 ng…?
Andre: Top 3 ng Cheerdance Competition! Wahahaha.

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