Here are some completely innocent statements but my friends’ dirty minds tell them otherwise.
SANAY NA
One very toxic night, I had been editing political ads on my laptop with my small marketing teammates at our apartment FOR HOURS. My friends Dohna, Dane, and Frances were sitting on the airbed while I was on the stairs facing a chair where the laptop was on. There was just no place in the mattress left so I had to sit on the bottom step of the staircase despite the discomfort.
Dohna grew concerned about my situation so she asked, “Yoshke, masakit ba?”
And without thinking, I replied, “Hindi naman. Sanay na ang pwet ko.”
Everyone burst into laughter. I meant I got used to being seated for hours.
PUMAPASOK
Frances, Dohna, Asta, JT, Maikel and I were at Starbucks Shangri-la last Thursday night when we agreed to exchange horror stories. Frances was narrating a horrifying encounter when they stayed in Baguio a few years ago, wherein an old lady was torturing her in her sleep but she was awake and she couldn’t move. More like a case of sleep paralysis.
Frances narrated, “Tapos hindi talaga ako makagalaw. Tapos gusto kong sumigaw pero hindi ko magawa, walang lumalabas na boses. Tapos weird, ang hirap ng i-explain. Alam nyo yung feeling na may malaking bagay na pumapasok sa katawan mo?“
“Oo, alam ko ang feeling nang may malaking bagay na pumapasok sa katawan ko,” I interrupted.
Everyone gave me a look as if saying “You ruined dinner.” Sorry naman. She asked! I just answered. I meant I had the same sleep paralysis experience.
HINDI QUALIFIED
While preparing dinner at the condo a few months ago.
Andre: Pag nagkaroon ng Top Chef Philippines, parang ang sarap sumali. Kaso hindi ako qualified.
Yoshke: Bakit naman?
Andre: Hindi kasi ako “top.”
He meant he’s not that experienced a cook!
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