A Break-up Letter


I never expected I'd be writing you this letter. We've had six years of wonderful memories but I'm afraid it had come to the Read more

Welcome to the New Yoshke.com


New look. New attitude. New experiences. Honestly, I had been neglecting this blog the past few weeks because of my awfully hectic schedule. Work had Read more

Sometimes We Burn to Live


Whenever I meet people for the first time, it always happens. When they start their sentence with "I hope you don't mind me asking but," Read more

Judging By the Cover


Our office is just a stone's throw from where I live. In fact, all I have to do is cross EDSA and voila, hello Read more

Fireworks, Hormones, and this Blog Post


You remember last week when I told you I found it difficult to blog since I met you? Since we became a couple officially, Read more

Do They Read Blogs in Heaven?


Whenever I say that the earliest memory I have is the accident wherein I had my left arm somewhat toasted, I lie. My earliest Read more

Unusual Breakfast


Here we are again. In the usual corner. Usual table. Usual diner. Usual time. And most probably, usual meal. I'm getting tired of this Read more

Top 10 National Stereotypes


Heaven is where the cooks are French, the police are British, the mechanics are German, the lovers are Italian and everything is organized by Read more

EDSA


It could have been a horrible Saturday. I was in the passenger seat. It was a bit raining. Normally, EDSA gets on my nerves. That's why Read more

Why Nursery Rhymes Are So Violent


A few months ago, I was teaching my 4-year old nephew some nursery rhymes with a DVD. After a lot of singing, he slowly Read more

Top 10 Worst Things to Say During Sex


Sex is the art of love. It must be done in the most enjoyable and most satisfying manner. This act of love of two Read more

The Promil Kid Drops the Bomb


Of all the living things created by God, I love my nephew the most. I call him the Promil Kid. He’s the cutest thing. Read more

••••••

» dane

And That’s the Bottom Line!

Posted on January 11, 2010 by Yoshke in Conversations, Friends, Humor |

Here are some completely innocent statements but my friends’ dirty minds tell them otherwise.

SANAY NA

One very toxic night, I had been editing political ads on my laptop with my small marketing teammates at our apartment FOR HOURS. My friends Dohna, Dane, and Frances were sitting on the airbed while I was on the stairs facing a chair where the laptop was on. There was just no place in the mattress left so I had to sit on the bottom step of the staircase despite the discomfort.

Dohna grew concerned about my situation so she asked, “Yoshke, masakit ba?”

And without thinking, I replied, “Hindi naman. Sanay na ang pwet ko.”

Everyone burst into laughter. I meant I got used to being seated for hours.

PUMAPASOK

Frances, Dohna, Asta, JT, Maikel and I were at Starbucks Shangri-la last Thursday night when we agreed to exchange horror stories. Frances was narrating a horrifying encounter when they stayed in Baguio a few years ago, wherein an old lady was torturing her in her sleep but she was awake and she couldn’t move. More like a case of sleep paralysis.

Frances narrated, “Tapos hindi talaga ako makagalaw. Tapos gusto kong sumigaw pero hindi ko magawa, walang lumalabas na boses. Tapos weird, ang hirap ng i-explain. Alam nyo yung feeling na may malaking bagay na pumapasok sa katawan mo?“

“Oo, alam ko ang feeling nang may malaking bagay na pumapasok sa katawan ko,” I interrupted.

Everyone gave me a look as if saying “You ruined dinner.” Sorry naman. She asked! I just answered. I meant I had the same sleep paralysis experience.

HINDI QUALIFIED

While preparing dinner at the condo a few months ago.

Andre: Pag nagkaroon ng Top Chef Philippines, parang ang sarap sumali. Kaso hindi ako qualified.
Yoshke: Bakit naman?
Andre: Hindi kasi ako “top.”

He meant he’s not that experienced a cook!

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The Giraffe in the Ref and the Completely Puzzled Life

Posted on August 14, 2009 by Yoshke in Conversations, Friends, Humor, Mysteries, Whatnots |


image courtesy of warkitty.com

One December evening in Paranaque, Andre, Dane and I were killing time by solving puzzles that I compiled in my head since I was a little boy. You see, I love solving puzzles and challenging my friends to put their problem-solving skills to a test. It was one of those nights. We spent hours solving the detective stories I throw at them. Mind you, they were very difficult puzzles.

Just before daybreak, Dane said:

Dane: I am used to simple puzzles like the giraffe-elephant-fridge puzzle.
Yoshke: What’s that puzzle?
Andre: OMG! You don’t know that?
Yoshke: No. Everyone else does?
Andre: Yep. So give it a try.
Dane: Alright, Yoshke, in three steps, how do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
Yoshke: Hmmm.

Hmmmmm…

I spend twenty minutes trying to figure it out. When I blurted, “Don’t tell me it’s ‘Open the ref, put the giraffe, and then close it.’”

They laughed their asses off.

Hey, I was expecting a serious puzzle and this silly puzzle just caught me off-guard!

Andre: How about this: In four steps, how do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Yoshke: (confident) (1) Open the door. (2) Move the giraffe aside. (3) Put the elephant inside. (4) Close the door.

Andre and Dane: WRONG!
Yoshke: Seriously? What’s the right answer?
Andre and Dane: (1) Open the door. (2) Take out the giraffe. (3) Put the elephant inside. (4) Close the door.

Yoshke: But I wanted to just move the giraffe aside!
Andre: Well you can’t! You have to remove the giraffe!
Yoshke: WHY?!!?
Dane: Because it won’t fit!

With that, I snapped!

Yoshke: HOW DARE YOU DICTATE HOW BIG MY REFRIGERATOR IS!!! I MANAGED TO PUT THE DARN GIRAFFE INTO IT; OF COURSE IT CAN ACCOMMODATE AN ELEPHANT!

Alright, so I took that puzzle too seriously. Wahaha.

We all love puzzles. Some people can endure trying to solve one puzzle game and not give up even if they end up hating themselves and hitting someone else for failing to solve it.

Whether it’s just a short detective quiz that a friend has shared or a simple anagram or even a mere puzzling question, we always try to solve them and share them with others. Today, most people are going crazy over sodoku, a puzzle originated in Japan and took the world by storm.

image courtesy of sentimentalrefugee.com

Why do most people love puzzles? Maybe it’s because it is human nature to always ask why or how. Maybe it’s because we love the feeling of being up for the challenge. Maybe it’s the sense of pride and accomplishment when we are able to solve one. Maybe it’s because puzzles divert our attention and escape the real world.

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